


I don't know how to say no to this

by TuppingLiberty



Series: Tupping Liberty's prompt ficlet series [1]
Category: Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015)
Genre: Blow Job, Drabble Collection, Drug Withdrawal, Drugs, First Kiss, Fluff, Frottage, Hand Job, M/M, Making Out, Oblivious!Poe, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Sharing a Bed, Trans!Poe, but also jealousy, mature emotional discussion, ptsd finn
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-04-23
Updated: 2016-12-26
Packaged: 2018-06-03 21:38:18
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 58
Words: 84,710
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6627463
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TuppingLiberty/pseuds/TuppingLiberty
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>An on-going collection of drabbles from my tumblr that aren't connected to my other series.</p><p>Only some chapters are explicit and will come with a warning.</p><p>The title comes from Hamilton, and it's me talking about shipping Stormpilot.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. I thought you were dead

**Author's Note:**

> I'm not very good at writing drabble as far as length goes. :D

Written for @Beautifullights1 on tumblr for the prompt #29 "I thought you were dead"

* * *

 

Finn’s tracing the lines of his face tenderly, and feeling wells up in Poe, and he knows it’s too soon to say ‘I love you,’ but kriff, Poe knows he’ll never be able to call this night just sex.  Finn’s so young, and new at this, and maybe his feelings for Poe are caught up in his feelings for the absent Rey, and-

“I thought you were dead,” Finn whispers. His fingers have found the small scar at his temple left from his time on The Finalizer. “I thought, I finally made it out, and the person who helped me is dead. And I guess that’s just life in this damn fight, I just need to go on, but… when I saw you again, I realized how much I needed to thank you, and I never got the chance.”

Poe panics, reaches out to touch Finn’s bare chest, feel his heartbeat. “Wait, you didn’t do…this because you wanted to thank me, did you?” He begins to pull back a little, hurt already replacing the sated contentment he had been feeling, but Finn’s strong arms stop his movement, gather him closer, so close Finn can angle his head and press a kiss on Poe’s collarbone. It stops a bit of Poe’s panic, but he has to be clear. “Finn, you saved me. You have to know that. I would have been executed if you hadn’t made your decision.”

Poe feels Finn’s lips curve into a smile. “You didn’t do this because you wanted to thank me, did you?” Poe lets out a short laugh, having learned something else about Finn: he can give as good as he gets. Finn looks up and into Poe’s eyes. “I’m here because I want to be with you, Poe Dameron. Nothing else.”

 _I love you_ , Poe thinks. He reaches up a hand to cup Finn’s cheek. “I want this time with you the same way I crave watching the stars go flashing past,” he says instead, and lowers his head to take Finn’s lips again.


	2. I think we need to talk

Written for @Beautifullights1 for the prompt #12 “I think we need to talk.”

* * *

 

“Don’t forget, practice drills tomorrow, 6AM.” The stern reminder from their commander sent the members of Rapier Squadron into dramatic groans of “awww, Poe, c’mon man!” Poe flashed them a charming smile as he got up from the mess hall table, but wouldn’t relent. “6AM!” he called over his back as he took his food tray to be washed.

Finn grabbed his own tray and stood. “Poe, wait!” He caught up with the pilot, who had a pleasant, expectant look on his face, and Finn was momentarily thrown for a loop, just like he always was when he looked at Poe. “I think we need to talk, can we talk? In private?”

Poe’s eyes widened a bit. It looked like concern to Finn, and he inwardly rolled his eyes. “Sure, buddy. I’ll walk you to your quarters.”

When they left the busy mess hall, they found relative peace and privacy in the hallway. Finn swallowed, trying to find the courage to say what he needed to say. “I’m tired of being treated like glass, Poe.”

A beat of silence, then Poe answered, “You’re still recovering, Finn. You’re still in physical therapy, for kriff’s sake. You gave us a scare, give us a little leeway on babying you, okay?”

Finn stopped, crowding Poe against the hallway wall. “No, not okay. The General, the doctors, whatever… they can think what they want. But I am decidedly not okay with certain people treating me like I’m an infant.”

Poe’s eyes had widened during Finn’s statement. “Certain people?”

“You, Poe. Stop babying, stop nurturing, stop and just-” Finn pulled Poe’s head toward his and crushed his mouth, feeling victorious when Poe opened his lips and began kissing him back. Several long pleasurable moments passed before Finn let Poe go. “I’m not an infant.”

Poe’s cheeks were pleasantly red, and excitement shone in his eyes. “Clearly.”


	3. I almost lost you Kiss

Written for @Beautifullights1 for the prompt #11 “I almost lost you” kiss"

* * *

The thing about trying to maintain a stable relationship in the Resistance was that the constant threat to life and limb made everything seem more intense. For Finn and Poe, there was no slow courtship of flowers and dates and holding hands. When Finn had woken from his coma, Poe had been off-planet on an intelligence run. When Poe had returned, he’d been greeted by the sight of Finn, on crutches, grinning at him from the crowd of maintenance crew already buzzing around Black One. Two steps later he was running to meet Finn, avoiding his back by cupping his face, and kissing him soundly. When they parted, Finn’s eyes were wide, and Poe had the grace to look sheepish.

“Uh, was that okay?”

In answer, Finn tilted his chin up slightly, face returning to the grin. “Why don’t you come back and find out?”

Every moment they had together after that was tinged with an intensity, a belief that they needed to make the most of everything in that precise moment because who knew what would happen tomorrow? Poe continued his missions, and Finn grew stronger, and their reunions on the tarmac became increasingly more desperate, more energetic, until the ground crew began waiting ten minutes before dealing with Black One. Finn could deal with Poe’s absence if he just could look forward to those moments when his lover came home.

Until he didn’t. Until one day, Poe Dameron missed a scheduled contact, then another, and another. And even though Poe had explained it to him, had explained how he wasn’t to expect rescue missions wasting valuable resources on just one spy, Finn argued the point with Leia anyway. It was hard to tell who was more surprised by the shouting match, the ex-stormpilot or the general. As a result of the argument, nothing changed, except Leia ordering him to wait in his quarters or “go hit something in the weight room, for kriff’s sake.” Talking to the other pilots proved useless. They kept saying that Poe knew the rules, knew before he went out what he was getting into. But Finn needed a pilot, dammit. So he started hanging around the edges of the mess hall, observing and scheming and gathering intel. His plan was half-formed and almost surely suicidal by the end of the week, but it was a plan.

He got as far as the runway, his plan not even really started yet, when a lone figure came stumbling out of the trees. The figure held a hand up as no less than ten Resistance soldiers pointed blasters; the other hand clutched at his gut, above a bloody mess. Finn was running to him before the soldiers even recognized their star pilot. “Poe!”

At Finn’s shout, Poe looked in his direction blearily, and stumbled onto his knees. “’M okay, Finn,” he said when Finn finally reached his side and eased him onto his own body. “Missed the organs, I think. Just need some bacta patches.”

Finn was already lifting Poe into his arms, signalling some of the soldiers to get a gurney. “What the kriff were you doing out there?”

“Stolen ship. Crash landing. Long story.” Poe slid Finn a little grin.

As Finn laid Poe down onto the gurney, he leaned over, brushing a kiss across Poe’s brow, then grabbed his hand as they began to move toward the infirmary. Neither of them thought at the time that, while it may have been the least intense kiss they’d ever shared, it was perhaps the most important.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am probably going to flesh out and expand this one over the summer. Which means I have to come up with whatever Finn's suicidal plan was going to be.


	4. A kiss on the back

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is where things get explicit! 
> 
> Trans!Poe as well

Written for @stardusteddameron for the prompt #15 "Kiss on the back"

* * *

Poe had a habit of sleeping on his stomach, arms clutching his pillow, dead to the world. Finn, who was still used to (programmed, he thought bitterly) waking early, had a habit of nudging the covers down and away from Poe’s prone body and just drinking in the beautiful curve of Poe’s spine leading into his perfect ass. Because yes, Finn thought, Poe really did have the perfect ass. The gentle slopes of Poe’s body made Finn’s fingers itch to sweep his hand down, down, down. It seemed wrong somehow to act on it, to wake up the pilot who worked so hard before he absolutely had to be awake. And Finn was too shy to bring it up when they were both awake. He very rarely initiated their lovemaking, and how do you tell the guy you’re sleeping with, “Hey, I like to watch you sleep?” without sounding creepy? It took Poe catching him in the act, peeping open one eye to see Finn staring intently behind him, Finn’s fingers clutching at the sheets. 

“You can touch me, Finn,” Poe murmured, and Finn could hear the grin in his voice. 

Finn was hesitant at first, fingers still in the process of reaching for Poe, when Poe lifted his head, flopped it down dramatically with his eyes closed, and pretended to snore. “There, is that better?”

Finn laughed, and poked Poe in the ribs, but for some reason it _was_ better, and he was able to move his hand, scoot closer across the mattress so he was hovering over Poe’s back.

Tentatively, he placed his hand on the back of Poe’s neck, the skin warm and just slightly trembling under his finger pads.

“Good,” Poe said into the pillow, and the praise helped Finn along. He did what he’d wanted to do since the first time he’d seen Poe’s back, and ran his hand down the ridges, lingering a bit when he got to the dip at the base of Poe’s spine. He leaned over to place a kiss there, just before the skin began to rise again. Poe hummed, a pleasant sound. “Keep going, baby.”

Bolder now, Finn brought his hand lower, over the slopes and into the crevice deep enough to have Poe wiggling, then grinding a little into the mattress. “You like that too?” Finn asked, surprised, because Poe didn’t really like to talk about how their parts were fundamentally different. “I love when you’re inside me, Poe. Would you like to feel that too?”

Groaning, Poe twisted his head to look down at Finn, and Finn almost gasped at their intensity. “Kriff, yes. If you want to, I’d love it.”

Finn shifted to kneel between Poe’s legs, using both hands now to caress Poe’s ass, which caused Poe to rut a little more. He placed kisses all along Poe’s spine, sliding up until he could suck a small bruise on Poe’s shoulder blade. “I don’t know if I’m ready for that yet,” he admitted, breath hot on Poe’s neck. 

“That’s okay, honey. Try this instead.” Poe reached over, grabbed the small bottle, and slicked Finn’s cock with his hand. Above him, Finn groaned. Poe guided it between his clenched legs. “Thrust.” 

Finn moaned at the command and thrust up slowly. The tight space provided Finn the most delicious friction, and he found a rhythm. Poe lifted his hips a bit, slipped his hand down between their bodies and ran circles around his own cock. Finn found himself resting his chin on Poe’s shoulder and laying his head down as they matched rhythm and speed. Poe was murmuring continuously. “Oh, Finn, you feel so good, baby, you’re so good, I can’t wait to have that in me someday. You’re so strong.”  

At the thought of that moment, that potential, sometime in the future, Finn groaned one last time and thrust harder, spilling between Poe’s thighs. As he rode out his orgasm, he latched on to Poe’s neck again and reached down, replacing Poe’s hand to finish him off. “You should come for me,” he whispered, and Poe did, fisting his hands into the pillow and using it to muffle his cry. “I could watch you do that forever.” Finn’s words and continued circling fingers made the pilot shudder again. 

Finn placed a kiss just below the curls on the back of Poe’s neck. Poe rested his head into the pillow again. “Feel free to wake me up for that, babe.” Finn smiled against Poe’s skin.


	5. We’re hiding from the authorities and it’s very close quarters in here, I can feel your body against mine.

For xekytumbles #9 “We’re hiding from the authorities and it’s very close quarters in here, I can feel your body against mine.” from the [Good Parts list ](http://tiptoe39.tumblr.com/post/143026715106/right-to-the-good-parts-prompt-list)by @tiptoe39

* * *

 

“You’re sure you remember the way?” Poe whispered under his Stormtrooper helmet. 

“Of course,” Finn replied, all false bravado. “All of these First Order bases are set up the same way.” He didn’t want to mention the sick feeling he was getting from seeing all of the white uniforms around him. 

They didn’t make it far, though, before klaxons started sounding and a loud, angry voice began repeating “Intruder alert, section 5, intruder alert, section 5” over the loudspeakers.  All around them, the Stormtroopers were running to positions, and Finn nudged Poe’s shoulder and pointed down a hallway.

“This way, I have a plan.” They ran efficiently, the way the troopers did, until Finn ducked under an alcove and opened a small door leading to a maintenance tube. “Get in. I think I can get us out this way.”

They had to get down onto their hands and knees to work their way through the tube. “Kriff,” Poe complained. “How did you guys stand it?  These suits are unbearable.”

Finn let out a humorless laugh. “Yeah, that’s the reason I defected. Definitely not the plans to murder billions of innocents or the whole kidnapping me as a baby thing. It was the outfit. Hell to clean, too.”

“Point taken,” Poe said, and even though the bucket was still covering his face, Finn knew he was grinning. 

At an intersection in the tunnel, Finn immediately chose left. “What’s the other way?” Poe asked curiously. 

“Garbage chute. Possible to escape from, but our best bet is this way.”

Finn led them to a room, about the same size as the tunnel, with a ladder leading up to a hatch. “They won’t think to look here, but if we step outside right now, they’re going to locate us and make it impossible to escape. We need to wait it out, maybe for a few hours.” He pulled off his helmet, sweat dripping down his face. Across from him, Poe did the same, shaking out his curls a bit, and running a hand through them. Finn grinned. “You look fine, flyboy.”

Poe grinned back. “You think this looks okay, you should see what my hair looks like when I wake up.” _Maybe I’d like to,_ Finn thought. “I should probably just buzz it all off anyway.”

“No!” Finn exclaimed, before shutting his mouth again, feeling a blush through his entire body. “I mean, seriously, you look fine, but do what you want.” Finn became aware that his front was basically plastered to Poe’s, and tried to back up, but hit the side of the tunnel. “Uh, close quarters.” Finn coughed.

Poe was looking at him, the way he sometimes did back at base, like Finn was a puzzle he had to solve. He leaned forward a little. “Finn…”

Finn tried to maintain his cool. Failed miserably, but at least he tried. “Yeah?” 

“Can I kiss you?”

“You want to kiss me now? Why didn’t you kiss me 12 hours ago, when we were back on base? Why didn’t you kiss me when I woke up a month ago? Why didn’t you kiss me when we had time and weren’t probably about to die?”

Poe raised a gloved hand up to run it along Finn’s jaw, but thought better of using the hard plastic and dropped his hand again. “We’re probably about to die?  I thought you said a couple of hours and we’d be fine?”

“I was trying to be an optimist!”

“It doesn’t suit you.”

Finn laughed, because what else could he do?

“So, can I kiss you, since we’re about to die?”

“Alright, come here, then.”

And Poe leaned forward, and Finn leaned forward, and when they were about to meet at the lips, Finn closed his eyes, knowing the moment was going to be perfect, when a loud _clunk_ sounded between them. Finn’s eyes popped open and he looked up a Poe, then down at their chests.  The way the Stormtrooper suit was built, the two of them _couldn’t_ meet in the middle. Poe was the first to start laughing, a small giggle at the back of his throat. Finn looked at him with disbelief, then couldn’t help joining him, until both of them were leaning into each other, laughing so hard they couldn’t breathe.

Poe swiped a tear from his eye, then took Finn’s shoulders. “Finn, I swear, when we _don’t_ die, and make it out of here, and take these kriffing suits off, I’m going to make you feel so good, you’ll beg me to stop.”

Finn stopped laughing, shifting because the suit had become uncomfortably tight. “Kriffing hell, Poe. What do you suggest we do in the meantime?”

Poe leaned back against the tunnel wall, bringing Finn with him to lean against his chest. “So, when did you first know you wanted to kiss me?” he asked with a grin.

“How long has it been since you gave me your jacket?” Finn laughed. “And what about you?”

“Well, I wanted to kiss you the minute you pulled that bucket off your head on the Finalizer, but that might have been the torture, mind rape, and delirium thinking. For me, it was really when I saw you on the medbay bed, looking so peaceful, so noble and brave.”

“We both wasted a lot of time,” Finn admitted.

“Nothing but time right now. If we win this, if we defeat the First Order, what do you want to do with the rest of your life?” Poe leaned his head back, ready to listen to Finn for as long as he wanted to talk.


	6. We’re in the middle of a thunderstorm and you wanna stop and feel the rain?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> trans!poe

Written for The3rdhattrick on AO3, for #21 “We’re in the middle of a thunderstorm and you wanna stop and feel the rain?” Hattrick, I wasn't sure if you meant for me to write it for the trans!Poe couple, so I did. SO, this is the same couple as[ Chapter 4,](http://archiveofourown.org/works/6627463/chapters/15165850) but it takes place before Chapter 4, pre-relationship.

* * *

Finn made his way back to the cockpit of the small transport ship, sliding into the co-pilot seat and glancing over at Poe. “BB-8 assures me that everything’s running nominally back there. Or at least I think those were its reassuring beeps, not its “everybody panic!” beeps.”

“Good,” Poe replied, subdued. Finn realized he was looking at a small holo-photo on his dashboard. Finn turned away, not wanting to intrude. “No, it’s okay, buddy. My parents and me.” Poe swiped his fingers on his controls to make the holo bigger.

It showed a young man and woman in flight suits, holding between them a toddler-aged Poe, with curls hanging past his shoulders and a bow in his hair. He was the spitting image of his mom. Finn had never seen a picture of Poe before his transition; in fact, he hadn’t known any existed. He looked back at Poe, a soft expression on his face. “Thanks for sharing that with me.”

Poe’s mouth twisted in a sardonic smile. “Yeah, it’s the last picture we have together as a family before she died.”

That explained it, then. “Ah. Um, she was beautiful.”

Poe sighed. “Yeah, she was.” With a tap of his finger, the holo winked away. Poe looked out at the stars streaking past. “Hey, would you mind if we take a small detour? I haven’t been this close to Yavin 4 in almost a year and we could actually land this old pile of junk without bringing unwanted attention to my settlement.”

They were in an old unmarked smuggling ship, on a simple transport and intelligence mission. As much as the Resistance spent precious resources keeping the home planet of their star pilot protected, it wasn’t like Poe could just swing in with Black One to visit his dad.

“Of course not. What’s Yavin 4 like?” Finn settled back into the copilot chair.

\----------------------------------------

They landed in a clear spot in the jungle, quite a distance from Poe’s settlement. “Just in case,” Poe explained. “Besides, it’s a great hike.” He turned to his droid. “You can stay here BB, we won’t be more than a few hours. Just time for a meal with my father before we head back out.”

The droid whirred and made the “everyone panic” noises Finn had been talking about.

“Okay, buddy, you’re right, the last time you let me out of your sight, I died.” Poe rolled his eyes at Finn above the droid, and Finn smothered a smile.

As soon as the transport door opened, Finn was hit by a wall of moisture. He sucked in a breath, but found that that was hard to do, and gasped a little bit. Poe laughed and slapped him on the shoulder. “Heh, sorry, should have warned you, I guess, buddy. The humidity on Yavin 4 is always like this.”

“It’s like breathing in water,” Finn muttered, still trying to take a deep breath.

“It grows on you. But-” Poe looked up, as if scanning the sky, “It’ll be better soon.”

Finn decided not to question the cryptic comment, and followed Poe as he led them into the jungle. It was strange, Finn couldn’t tell if he was sweating or the humidity was just gathering on his face. The jungle smelled wonderful, though, all green and spicy with aromas Finn wasn’t able to place. But the hike felt like a trudge, and when they hit the edge of another clearing, Finn leaned back against a tree to catch his breath.  BB-8 beeped at Poe, and he turned back, concerned. “Are you okay? Hell, Finn, I knew you weren’t ready for a mission yet.”

Finn rolled his eyes. “Well, our mission parameters didn’t exactly include this little detour, did they? I’m fine, it’s just the heat. I’m starting to look kindly on my hours on Jakku, and that’s something I swear I’d never do.”

Poe looked sheepish. “Well, we can afford to rest a bit.” He checked his wrist chronometer and sniffed the air. “Perfect timing, too.” He stepped out into the clearing and lifted out his arms.  Before Finn could ask what he was doing, it started raining. No, that was too light of a term. It was like someone was pouring buckets of water over the jungle. Poe just laughed, unconcerned even when thunder sounded, and tipped his head up to the sky.

Finn laughed too, astonished. “We’re in the middle of a thunderstorm and you want to stop and feel the rain?” His heart felt so light, as if it was connected to Poe’s moods.

“You should too,” Poe cried, pulling Finn out from under the canopy. “This is my favorite part of Yavin summers.”

The rain was cool, not cold, and Poe was right, it felt amazing. Laughing, he tipped his face up too, and BB-8 beeped happily from its spot under the tree. When he looked back down, he realized Poe was staring at his chest intently, teeth caught on his bottom lip. The rain had soaked through everything, of course, outlining the contours of his body. “Poe,” Finn said quietly.

Poe met his eyes, tongue darting out to moisten where his teeth had been biting. “Finn.” He circled his arms around Finn’s waist, drawing him closer, then capturing his mouth with a moan. When he came back up, Finn initiated another kiss, more thorough. “Finn,” Poe groaned against his lips. He brought a hand up between them to run over the chest he’d been admiring earlier, then used it to push himself away slightly. “We should get going, now that the storm’s over.”

Finn looked around, realizing that steam was beginning to rise off of the wet leaves. It was, however, marginally cooler than it had been, and Poe had been right, it did feel better. Finn reached out before Poe could scoot himself farther, gently brushing wet curls away from Poe’s forehead. “I… um, I don’t have a lot of experience with this sort of thing, just what got passed around in rumors among the troopers. But I’d like to do that again.”

Poe’s smile made his heart feel like it had wings. “I’d like that too,” he murmured without hesitation, offering his hand.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Inspired by summers in North Carolina (and probably other parts of the South but I’ve only been to North Carolina).


	7. We slept in the same bed for space reasons but now we’re just waking up and there’s something about your bleary eyes and mussed hair

Written for Minna, #4 on the Good Parts list “We slept in the same bed for space reasons but now we’re just waking up and there’s something about your bleary eyes and mussed hair”

* * *

Poe Dameron was basically dead on his feet. Even though they’d destroyed Starkiller Base, the Resistance had had to move off of D’qar and out of the Ileenium system for safety reasons, and Poe had been doing nothing but running transports for days. 

He should have been more suspicious when he’d checked in with Lara at Assignments and found her and Jessika Pava with their heads together, giggling over something, but really, he was too damn tired to deal with it. He quietly accepted the key card she gave him, and shuffled off in the direction she pointed. 

It took a couple of tries to get the key card swiped correctly, which was probably why, when he entered the room, Finn sat bolt upright, a panicked look in his wide eyes. “What? Who? Oh,” Finn said, breath calming as he looked at Poe. “Poe. I thought that someone- but what are you doing in here? How did you get a key to my room?”

Poe leaned against the door jam, barely able to remain upright, not even awake enough to get angry at Lara, or Jess, or whomever had done this. He closed his eyes. “I’m sorry, apparently there was a mixup, I’ll just go back and get assigned elsewhere. Just give me a minute.” _Or I could sleep here in the hallway. That ground looks very inviting._

He opened his eyes when he sensed Finn in front of him, and sure enough, there he was, close enough to touch, eyes full of concern now. “Poe, no, you should go to bed now.” Then Finn was gently guiding Poe away from the door, and Poe wanted to lean into him _so badly_ , to see if Finn smelled as good as he looked, and the thought made Poe shake his head a bit to clear it. 

Clear it enough for one last protest anyway. “Buddy, I’m not the one that recently got taken off the medbay list. You should get the bed.”

Finn’s hand placed a little more pressure on Poe’s arm. “I insist. Besides, I bet the bed is big enough for the both of us. It’s way bigger than the stormtrooper bunks.”

The thought of Finn not having enough space to even sleep made Poe want to blow Starkiller up all over again. And maybe shoot Kylo Ren in the face for good measure. The thoughts burned up the last of his energy, and he had none left to protest further when Finn pressed him down by his shoulders onto the mattress, then bent to take off his boots. “Down you go, yes, very nice, Poe,” Finn was murmuring, and the last thing Poe thought before his head hit the pillow was how nice it felt to be taken care of by Finn.

Poe woke up briefly once, just to snuggle farther into the warmth on his right.

\-------------------------------

When Finn awoke, he realized that sometime in the night they’d entangled themselves together. He also realized that he didn’t want to let go anytime soon. Poe’s short curls had been fluffed up by sleep, making a halo around his head, and before Finn could stop himself, he reached out and smoothed them down.

Poe blinked with a smile at the small touch, then looked over at Finn blearily. “Hi,” he said lazily, trying to stretch and realizing that his arms were locked around Finn. “Oh, Hell, uh, Finn,” he stammered, rapidly backing away until his back hit the wall, “Kriff, I’m so sorry. I hope I didn’t make you uncomfortable. I never intended, I mean, I like boys- I mean men, but I wasn’t expecting anything, I don’t want you to be uncomfortable around me. I just-” He quieted finally when Finn reached out to place a finger over Poe’s lips.

“I’m not uncomfortable. It’s okay, Poe, really.” Finn tried a smile, to show Poe how true it was. “You didn’t do anything to me in your sleep, I promise. But now that we’re awake…” Finn looked Poe in the eyes. “I’m not sure exactly what I like, Poe, but I know I like you.” He reached out to tug on Poe’s shirt, trying to urge him closer again.

Poe had such a look on his face, a cross between hope and innocence and eagerness, like he really wanted to ask “You do?” but couldn’t bring himself to at the same time. Finn was laughing at the look when Poe quieted him with a kiss, and another. He moved to Finn’s jaw line, and down his neck, nipping at his ear. “I’ll have to thank Lara and Jess, I guess,” he murmured, before Finn pulled his head back up to take his mouth again.


	8. 'returned from the dead’ kiss

@Because-seconds-not-the-same asked for #24, "returned from the dead’ kiss"

* * *

Finn had spent too much time trying to avoid death to think much about what happened after. Even when Leia trained him in the way of the Force, ‘after life’ was an abstract future idea that he didn’t have time to worry about right then. 

Apparently he had time now. Because he could see himself there, below, lying on the ground, chest red and raw from a well-aimed blaster shot. He tried to look around, look at himself, the self that was floating above the ground, not the one that bled out down there, and realized that he was no longer corporeal. He had no parts, no fingers to hold out and flex, no mouth to shout at Rey to run, run away from the oncoming trooper squadron. Nothing but apparently his consciousness had survived. 

_Well that’s kriffing typical_ , he thought. Below him, Rey had turned, seen the troopers, and ran, liked he’d hoped, but it all seemed to be going in slow motion, like time had stumbled when he’d died. Soon enough, though, there was no one near his body.  Was he going to float here forever?  That seemed…boring.

“Boring, eternity is, perhaps.” The strange voice came from the empty air near him. “Hello, young Finn.” 

_Uh, hi? Who’s there?_

Finn heard a croak that may have been a laugh. “Rude, I am.” A small green creature with white wispy hair and large pointy ears floated in the air near him. “Master Yoda,” the creature said with a small nod.

 _I’ve read about you_ , Finn thought. _Is this all there is, then? Are you really bored?_

“Pleasant enough, death is. Free from the dramatics.”

 _I guess that’s true._ Below him, the troopers were retreating under the hale of fire from Resistance X-wings. Though he had no heart to give such a pang, he still felt something tangible when he recognized Black One. _So you just observe everything? Isn’t that… heartbreaking?_

“For me, no. For you, understanding, I am.”

They both turned to watch as Black One landed, as Poe and BB-8 got out, as they ran in slow motion to Finn’s body.

 _I don’t want to go. **I love him.** _ Finn didn’t know if his forceful thinking came across as shouting like he’d meant it to.

Yoda looked at him thoughtfully, muttering to himself. “One possibility, there is. Stuck, are you?”

_How can I tell if I’m stuck? I mean, I can’t move because…because **I don’t have parts,** Yoda. At least **you** have a body._ **  
**

Yoda smiled. “Stuck, you are. Your time, it is not. Look below.” 

Poe had approached Finn’s body, and Finn could see the tear tracks on his face. BB-8 was whistling something low and mournful. Poe fell to his knees besides Finn’s body and ran a hand down cheek. Finn swore he could feel something warm wash through him.

“Pulling you back, he is.” 

Poe was leaning over Finn’s body now, closing the lids over his dead eyes, stroking over his hair, tear drops falling on his face. With every touch, Finn felt warmer, and more… _real._ Like maybe he was starting to have parts again. 

Yoda winked out of existence again, but Finn heard his voice calling from a farther distance. “See you again, I will, Finn. Rush not.” 

Below him, Poe was kissing his forehead, his eyelids, his cheeks, and Finn felt fingers, and toes, and _pain._ He felt the anticipation as Poe finally, finally brushed his lips across Finn’s, and then Finn was back in his body all at once, groaning into Poe’s mouth.

“Finn? Finn!” Tears were streaming freely down Poe’s face, but his features were stuck on astonishment. “But you were…”

“Saved my life, Poe,” Finn mumbled, then winced when he tried to sit up.

Poe looked down at the blaster shot, disbelieving. “Not yet we haven’t, buddy, just lie still. That should’ve killed you, you were…”

“You saved my life,” Finn repeated, resting his head back down but holding up a hand. Disbelief still on his face, Poe grabbed it, brushed a kiss across the knuckles, and continued to hang on tight. Around them, BB-8 whirred in circles, beeping excitedly.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's not how the Force works, probably.  
> It's definitely not how human biology works.  
> It's also definitely a riff on the end of the lovely Tom Cruise-Nicole Kidman film "Far and Away".
> 
> But it's written now! No take-backsies!


	9. Hey, I’m with you, okay? Always.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> CW: PTSD nightmares, anxiety

@wickedwonder asked for #14 “Hey, I’m with you, okay? Always.” 

* * *

Finn stepped nervously into the training room, footsteps still slightly unsure although he no longer required assistance walking. It was his first foray out of the medical wing, the medical wing that mostly used impersonal droids who treated everyone exactly the same, whether they were former stormtroopers or not. He had no idea how the rest of the base was going to react to him.

“Finn! They finally let you out, huh, buddy?” Poe came jogging up to him, curls wet with sweat and a towel wrapped around his neck. “I asked them to contact me so you wouldn’t have to be alone, damn droids,” he muttered. “Don’t tell BB-8 I said that.”

That made Finn feel marginally better. The fact that no one had been there when he was released was just a clerical oversight, not commentary on his presence at D’qar. “I still have physical therapy but the doctor suggested I start working out here, and, well, I really had nothing better to do.”

Poe looked at him, frowning a bit. “Did the doc say what exactly you were cleared for?”

“Just light cardio, nothing that stretches my back right now.”

“Well, I was just getting ready for a jog, want to come with?” Poe used the towel to scrub at his hair a bit before balling it up and throwing it in a hamper.

Finn gestured to the small room, filled mostly with empty mats and weight machines. “In here?”

“Nah, buddy. Outside. You’ll love it, D’qar’s beautiful.” He flashed a smile at Finn, and Finn thought that if everyone was as friendly as Poe Dameron, then maybe everything would be okay here. 

When he didn’t get any stares or sidelong glances as they began to jog out of the base, he began to believe it. That first jog, Poe had to work hard to get Finn to open up. Since the attack on Starkiller, most of which had been confined to a part of Finn’s brain that only saw blue and red flashes and sparks when he tried to look there, Finn hadn’t really wanted to speak to anyone. Except Rey, and she was out of Comms range. But Poe peppered him with questions, like he was testing where Finn’s boundaries were and picking topics of conversations accordingly. And at the end of the jog, when Poe patted him on the shoulder gently and asked if he’d like to do it again tomorrow, Finn had easily agreed.

As the weeks passed, Finn was able to begin using the weights and doing more and more advanced strength training, but he and Poe kept up their daily jog through the forest, and talking to Poe became easier and easier. Finn began to see it as much like therapy as his weekly meeting with the psychologist was - Poe had the same non-judgemental attitude toward anything Finn said, even when it was something truly appalling about his time in the Order. The one thing he didn’t want to discuss with Poe, or with his real therapist for that matter, was his burgeoning romantic feelings for the fighter pilot. Finn laughed at his own head. ‘Burgeoning romantic feelings.’ Hell, Finn had a crush, plain as day.

Simple, though, it wasn’t. What if Finn only felt this way because Poe was nice to him?  What if he’d latched on to Poe simply because Poe listened to him, day in and day out? Poe didn’t deserve someone who was only interested because he didn’t know any other options. Poe deserved more than whatever this was Finn could offer him. And so he kept his lips sealed on the topic.

Some nights he was plagued with nightmares. The first time he woke up from one, his hands, even though they were trembling, were tying the laces on his running shoes before his mind was even fully out of the dream - _black hair flying around a face of black eyes, staring down at him with intense hatred._ With the shoes already on, it seemed like a better idea than laying back down in the bed, and he headed out for the run, sticking to the gravel paths of the base where he could be relatively assured of a smooth, clean, trip-hazard free path. The next time he screamed himself awake - _snow falling, intense pain, can’t get to Rey_ \- he put the shoes on and did it again. And again, until that became routine as well. The night runs were peaceful, with no Poe there, of course, but he found they weren’t as soothing. They distracted him well enough, but they didn’t bring him comfort like running with Poe did.

Finn managed this for a month before Poe confronted him. One night, after a really bad one - _the earth shaking, Kylo Ren slashing his saber down on a prone Rey once and for all_ \- he opened his door to find Poe leaning against the hallway wall across from his room, asleep. “Poe?” At the sound, the pilot’s eyes popped open, showing confusion for a moment before clearing.

“Finn!” Poe stood hastily, and Finn could see he was in his jogging gear, too. “Glad to catch you, I was wondering if you wanted to go for a run?”

Finn stared at him in disbelief. “You…were wondering… at three in the morning… if I wanted to go for a run?” he ground out slowly.

Poe’s small smile didn’t falter. If anything, he lifted his chin a little defiantly. “Yeah, buddy, I was thinking, you know what’s fun?  Running at night. I bet Finn would think so too.”  Poe turned, and Finn followed him, because at this point, he’d follow Poe anywhere, even back to Jakku.

They fell into an easy rhythm like always, but unlike every other time, Poe didn’t say anything. Finn took about half a click of the silence before he had to open his mouth. “How’d you find out about my night- my night runs?” He’d said a lot of things to Poe, but he wasn’t sure he wanted to talk about the nightmares. Then again, if Poe already had an idea, and had still come to run with him, maybe he could share this.

“BB-8. The droid has this programming flaw that I don’t correct because I find it so kriffing adorable, when it’s not overbearing. Basically BB-8 assigns special designations to certain organic lifeforms, almost like it’s assigning “love” to them. It tracks their vitals, notes their habits, tries to make things easier for them, uses its weapons to protect those lifeforms, instead of just protecting itself. BB-8 gave me this designation, of course, which is one of the reasons I don’t want to wipe it. But, I was pleased to find out after BB-8 and I were reunited that it had given you and Rey those designations as well. I had to block it’s designation of Rey for the moment; it can remember her but she’s not in the ‘special category’ right now or it would be driving itself crazy.” Poe let out a short laugh. “Okay, long story short, BB-8 has been observing your sleep patterns and your night runs and came to the conclusion that the best help for you would be… me.” Poe hesitated over the last word, as if he’d realized he would be revealing too much.

Finn looked down, keeping an eye out for anything that might trip Poe or himself. “That seems kind of like an invasion of privacy, but also sweet.”

“Hopefully more the sweet side than the invasion side?” Poe said. “I can do the same thing for you I did for Rey, buddy. Take away your special designation. If you want.”

Finn snapped his head at Poe, actually stopping his feet in shock. “No! No, don’t do that.” He may have just been jogging but the sudden shallow breaths and elevated heart rate were all panic, he knew now. “Please don’t do that. It’s, uh, it’s nice to know there’s someone, or I guess something, out there that cares about me that much.” He couldn’t bring himself to meet Poe’s eyes, instead turning to run again, but Poe’s hand on his arm stopped him.

“Bud- Finn.” Poe turned Finn’s head at the chin, so that they were eye to eye. “Finn, BB-8′s not the only one that cares about you.”

Finn could think of nothing to say, couldn’t maintain eye contact.

“Hey,” Poe murmured, and Finn found his eyes snapping back to Poe’s involuntarily. “I’m with you, okay? Always. I don’t care if that means midnight runs or anything else you need from me.” Poe dropped one of his hands down, picking up one of Finn’s. Finn stared down at their joined hands. “This okay?”

Finn let out a shaky breath. “Yeah, it’s okay. You want to head back?”

“Sure.” They strolled back inside, hand in hand.

\--------

 _Cruel laughter. A flash of red. Finn can’t find the lightsaber in the snow, oh kriff, where is it, it was just here, how can it gone, he’s coming closer-_ Finn thrashed awake, still looking for the lightsaber in the sheets of the bed, coming up empty.

“It’s okay, honey. You’re on D’qar, you’re safe, I love you.” Poe’s voice drifted through the room, and Finn latched onto them. He knew Poe would have moved away the second he sensed Finn having a nightmare, moved out of the range where Finn could hurt him, because the first time he’d done so, Finn hadn’t allowed Poe back in his bed for a week.

“I’m on D’qar, I’m safe, Poe loves me,” Finn repeated, and that was the signal to draw Poe back to the bed. Poe placed a hand on his cheek, brushing away a stray tear, then laid Finn’s shoes on his lap.

“Ready for a run?”


	10. "I love you" in a letter

@buffycuddlespigs asked for #13 from the ["Ways to say I love you" ](http://animalasaysrauer.tumblr.com/post/143518913336/the-way-you-said-i-love-you)prompt list: "I love you" in a letter

This is a continuation of the Finn and Poe I wrote about in [chapter 3.](http://archiveofourown.org/works/6627463/chapters/15165781) You don’t really have to read that one to understand this one, just that’s why some of the events repeat.

This is loosed basely on the oldie song [“The Letter”](http://t.umblr.com/redirect?z=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.youtube.com%2Fwatch%3Fv%3DBQaUs5J2wdI&t=NWViMDJjMzM0Yjc1NmUzY2VhZWQ4ZDg3OWY2NjBlOGZhNzAyYzJmMyxVeGVtRzJXMg%3D%3D) by the Box Tops. Or at least every time I thought of this prompt, that song popped in my head.

* * *

When Poe came out of the bathroom, towel hitched around his hips, Finn was sitting on his bed next to his flight suit, hands clenched together. He looked up at the sound of Poe’s bare feet, a distressed look on his face, and Poe was sitting by his side in an instant. “Finn, it’s going to be fine.”

“I have a bad feeling about this one, Poe. Flying so close to the known location of the Order, not being able to take BB-8 with you. I wish- I wish you could tell the General ‘no.’“

Poe cupped Finn’s cheek, and Finn leaned into it, closing his eyes. “It’s a tricky mission, we know that. That’s why they’re sending me. I’m the best, okay? I’ll be able to skirt around the Order, no problem.” He leaned forward and brushed his lips across Finn’s. Finn slid an arm around Poe’s bare waist, trying to pull him closer and down at the same time, but Poe resisted. “I have to go, sweetheart. I’ll meet you on the tarmac in two days, just like always. I think we have the ground crew trained now.”

Finn’s face was stern. “I’ll be monitoring your mission, Poe.  No taking any chances or I’m taking it out of your hide when you come back.”

Poe nipped one more kiss before standing up to start getting dressed. He smiled when Finn handed him his orange flight suit. “Knowing that you’re watching my ass’s every move is very comforting to me.” He bent over, just to make Finn laugh, and received a small swat on the butt for his cheekiness.

\-------------

Sometimes it’s hard to pinpoint exactly where or when a mission goes to shit. Flying between the known air space of the First Order and the hostile territory of the Kanjiklub was like threading a needle, and apparently today was not the day for Poe to become a tailor. He was soon in a dog fight between tie fighters and Kanjiklub Y-wings, and, after a tricky maneuver that involved flying the two groups of hostiles directly at each other, limped away from the fight to try and land at the nearest planet with an atmosphere that supported human life. He landed roughly, and got a little shook up in the process, but the head wound, while bleeding like a bitch, was nothing worse than Poe had had before. He ripped an arm off of his flight suit, using it as a bandage to tie around his head.

As planets went it, it was small, and not overly harsh. Lots of green hills filled with various grazing animals, and Poe figured it must be a ranching colony of some kind. He decided to just keep walking in one direction, hoping to find lifeforms that could talk sometime soon. Lifeforms with access to a comms unit, since he’d already missed his first contact back to base, and he knew Finn would be worrying.

The rolling green hills seemed to go on forever, but eventually, when he crested one, he saw smoke rising from the horizon, and picked up his pace. At the top of the next hill, he saw a small dwelling, nestled in the valley, surrounded by trees, with a little stream running by, and honestly, it was incredibly idyllic. As he began to walk down the hill, he caught the movement of a small child looking up at him, then running inside the house. Poe figured it was probably a good time to show that he was unarmed, and put his hands up, slowing his walk and mentally preparing for whatever or whomever the child was about to bring out of the cabin. He was paying so much attention to the house that he forgot to watch the ground, and when it gave out beneath him, he barely had time to brace himself for the fall so he wouldn’t get injured.

It was a trap of some kind, obviously. The hole was hand-dug. Poe should probably be feeling grateful that they hadn’t sharpened sticks to put at the bottom. It wasn’t long before the child was poking their head over the side of the hole, then hastily retreating, as if someone had pulled them back.  
A new face appeared, an old man, face hard with wrinkles and skin tanned to leather by the sun.

“What’s yer business, flyboy?” the old man muttered.

“I’m unarmed. I landed a few clicks from here, but my ship needs repairs. If you can help me out, the Resistance will pay you-”

The old man spat, though Poe figured he was lucky the guy aimed away from him. “The Resistance, the First Order, I don’t really care who you’re representing. This is a peaceful place, and I aim to keep it that way.”

It wasn’t the first time Poe had run in to this type of attitude. “Right. Well, then, if you let me out, I’ll get as far away from you as possible, considering the First Order is looking for me, and they’ve probably already narrowed my path down to this system. Only a matter of time before they come knocking on your door.”

“Harumph.” The old man had literally ‘harumphed’ and Poe wanted to laugh. The man looked behind him and nodded, presumably to the child. “Go get some rope, Fasia.”

Within minutes, the rope was tossed down to Poe, and he worked his way up it. When he got and arm up on the ledge, he was looking directly into the blue eyes of Fasia, who looked eager. “Are you really with the Resistance?”

Poe grunted and got his other arm up, then a leg over, and climbed out, heaving a breath out as he sat by the hole. “Yeah, kid.” He looked up at the old man. “Hey, listen, you wouldn’t happen to have a spare set of clothing? This orange is pretty conspicuous.”

The man began rolling the rope around his arm, making loops, and frowned at him. “You’re right about that. You better come inside and clean up, then. Fasia can take a look at your head, she’s already gifted in the medical arts. Might as well feed you a meal, too,” he was mumbling, almost to himself. “It’ll be night soon, you can sleep in the barn.”

“I promise I’ll be out of here at first light, sir. Thank you.”

“Harumph,” the old man said again. Poe held back a grin.  He kind of reminded Poe of Han Solo.

“Follow me,” Fasia said, taking Poe’s hand and leading him to the house. “We don’t have a ‘fresher. Just a bathtub. I can heat up some water for you, but let me look at your head first.”

Poe smiled, amused. “How old are you?”

Fasia shrugged, then tugged Poe’s hand until he sat down in a chair. She pulled up another chair beside his and stood up on it, gingerly unwrapping the makeshift bandage he’d made. She took a wet cloth and cleared the blood away. “Well, other than this bandage you used grinding engine grease into it, it looks okay.  Hold still while I clean it out.” She didn’t hesitate before she began sweeping into the cut with no mercy, making Poe wince. “There. And it looks like your water’s ready. You carry one, I’ll carry the other.”

The pot looked too big for the little girl, and he was about to protest that he could just take two trips and carry both, but then she already was muscling the pot off of the stove and carrying it away. Shrugging, he followed her, pouring the hot water into a large basin. She exited again, carrying both of the empty pots.

The old man entered, setting down a stack of clothes. “We’ll have to bury that flight suit. I don’t want any evidence you were here, in case the stormtroopers come knocking.”

“Of course. I’ll help you remake your trap, too.  Clear up my trail.”

The old man just continued to wait expectantly, and Poe realized he wanted the flight suit now. “Oh, uh, here.” Poe hastily stripped down to his underwear, then balled up the suit to toss to the old man. He paused, though, at the sound of crinkling from one of the suit’s inner pockets. Curious, he searched until he found the paper letter, neatly folded and tucked into his left chest pocket. He handed the suit to the man, then waited until he’d left the room before stripping the rest of the way down and climbing into the tub. He’d set the letter on top of the pile of clothing, and his eagerness to read it and the rapidly cooling water meant he rushed to scrub himself.

Minutes later, he was dressed and unfolding the paper to see Finn’s handwriting. _How old fashioned_ , Poe thought, with a smile on his face, and a pang in his heart because he knew Finn was probably out of his mind with worry right now.

_Poe: I’m probably going to chicken out before you leave, and not say it to your face, so this letter is only in case of that. If you find it, and I did tell you, feel free to come back and laugh at me. Or with me, because I’ll be so relieved you’re back that I won’t mind you making fun of me a bit. And if you don’t come back, well, I want to know that you went out with this above your heart, with me right there with you._

_I love you, Poe Dameron, and I’m sorry you didn’t hear me say it aloud. I love you, I love you, I love you, and I can’t help thinking that I’m never going to see you again._

_So if you do read this, then, Poe, come back to me. I can’t live without you, so you come back to me._

“I’m trying, buddy,” Poe murmured. He folded up the letter with shaky hands and put it in one of his pockets.

He helped the old man and Fasia clean up any evidence he’d been there, and over dinner, Fasia pulled him aside. “Our closest neighbors have a ship. It’s slow, and old, and pretty much a piece of junk. But you might be able to use it. When you wake up, head west.”

He thanked her, and in the morning, he took her advice, heading out when it was just getting light. Eventually he spied another smoke stack on the horizon, and made haste. When he crested the hill, he saw a small crew of stormtroopers investigating the house and immediately dropped low to the ground. He risked poking his head up again, and saw the ship, a hundred or so meters away from the house and the stormtroopers. Fasia hadn’t been wrong, the thing looked older than the Empire, and to get to it, Poe would have to run across an open field. Poe grinned. He could fly anything, and the stormtroopers sucked at aiming. He could do this. With one last pat over the letter in his pocket, Poe set out at a run.

He managed to catch a bit of luck. The troopers didn’t even notice him until he was halfway to the ship. And he didn’t get hit by blaster fire until he was climbing up into it, already engaging engines before he realized his leg was stinging and leaking blood. True to form, the troopers didn’t hit anything vital on the transport ship, and Poe was taking off before they could call down any tie fighters. He manipulated the controls, setting a slow but steady pace off of the planet, out of the system. He managed to get enough juice for a small burst of hyper drive. When he was reasonably sure he was away from the planet, he assessed the ship.

No comms. Basically no ability to use hyper drive. No food or water in the ship. Even if he managed to evade enemies, it would still take him days to get back to base. And once he was there, they’d probably shoot him out of the sky because he couldn’t identify himself. If he didn’t starve before then. Kriff.

\-------------------

Poe decided the best plan was to land far away from the base and then walk in, where people would recognize him. Where Finn would be waiting. _Finn loves me. Finn loves me._ It had been the mantra that kept him going as he sat tensely in the small ship, sure than any second he’d be taken into a tractor beam by the First Order. Then, the hunger pains began, and that’s when he took out the letter and read it, over and over and over. At a certain point, he had to put the ship in auto pilot and let the delirium take over for a bit.

His previous plan hadn’t taken into account the fact that Poe was weakened, and the misstep nearly cost him his life when he missed the proper landing sequence and ended up crashing, passing out. When he came to, he realized that his torso was bleeding, and he pressed a hand to it, climbing out the broken front window of the ship. _Finn loves me. Finn loves me. Finn. Loves. Me._ Every step he took in the direction of the base, he repeated the mantra, until it was the only thing in his head. He stumbled, got back up, kept going, stumbled again. _Finn LOVES me,_ his brain was shouting as he leveraged himself back onto his feet.

When he finally reached the edge of the base, he didn’t even register the ten or so Resistance fighters on guard duty that were pointing their blasters at him, because there he was. There was Finn, running toward him, and now Poe could collapse, because Finn was pulling him into his arms and cradling him, and demanding explanations. _He loves me._ Finn set him down on a gurney, and brushed a kiss across his brow, and Poe wanted to pass out, but he had something to say first, what was it? Oh right: “I came back, Finn. ‘Cause I love you.” He pulled their joined hands over to his heart.

 


	11. exhausted parents kiss

Klyaska asked for #20 from the[ “kisses” list](http://animalasaysrauer.tumblr.com/post/143137588821/send-me-a-number-and-a-pairing-and-ill-do-a) \- the “exhausted parents kiss”.

* * *

“Do you think we’ll make it in time?” Finn leaned over the back of Poe’s pilot chair, voice and face tense.

Poe’s hands were flying over the controls, making constant adjustments to make the ship run faster. “I’m doing what I can!” he snapped.

“I know,” Finn said softly, and reached down to rub Poe’s neck briefly.

Poe’s hands paused for a fraction of a second, all the time he could take for the comfort. “I’m sorry,” he said sincerely. “How’s Jessika holding up back there?”

Finn slid into the vacant copilot seat and rubbed his own neck. “Snap convinced her to lie down. I think he was getting sick of her pacing.”

“I’d be pacing too if the First Order hit Yavin 4.”

“You don’t think we’re going to make it in time.” Finn closed his eyes rather than have to watch Poe come up with some way to reassure him.

“I think General Organa would have sent us in our X-wings if she had felt something different.”

\-------------------------

Poe had not been wrong, Finn realized immediately when they landed at the former site of Jessika’s hometown on Dandoran. He’d been out the door as soon as the convoy landed, Jessika right by his side, but the first whiff of burning flesh told Finn they were too late. At his side, Jessika fell to her knees, and he knelt with her, wrapping an arm around her even as other Resistance fighters joined them. Snap knelt down on her other side, whispering in her ear, and she nodded, pulled away from Finn and walking back onto the transport ship.

Poe held a hand out to Finn, pulling up when Finn took it. “Let’s look for survivors,” Poe said, without hope.  The group began to fan out through the wreckage. By unspoken agreement, Finn and Poe stuck together. As they walked through the wreckage, bile began to rise in Finn’s throat as he recognized human parts, still smoking. He stopped, bending over, but it never came up. Poe’s hand was a comforting presence, rubbing his back. Tentatively, Finn straightened. “Thank you,” he choked out, and Poe shook his head.

“You’re having a normal human reaction to one of the most inhuman things I’ve seen, Finn.” Poe’s voice was rigid, and Finn felt the anger coming off of him in waves.

“Poe-” Finn was cut off by a cry nearby. Both Finn and Poe barely breathed as they waited for the sound to happen again, to be able to locate it.

A baby was crying, somewhere near them. Poe grabbed Finn’s hand. “It was this way!” The sound was coming from outside of the burn zone. They ran, zeroing in, until they found the source, squalling in a bundle, tucked under a bush. Without hesitation, Poe plucked the bundle off of the ground, beginning to rock it in a motion that Finn thought looked extremely natural.

“Is it okay?” Finn crowded into Poe to try and see the baby.

“Shhhh,” Poe soothed. The baby was not having it. “Kriff, it’s probably hungry, or… what else do you do for babies?”

“You’re asking me?” Finn said, panic in his voice.

Poe smiled at him over the squalls of the baby. “Right. Well, let’s find one of the doctors, then, maybe they can help.”

\-----------------------

There were no other survivors. It was the new tactic of the First Order - to hit the planets of known Resistance fighters. It made Finn sick to his stomach, but he had no idea how to comfort Jessika. He didn’t even have a home planet that he knew of. He felt awful that he was the only one who didn’t have this threat over them, until he told Poe this while they waited for the baby to be checked out, and Poe pointed at the General. “Leia doesn’t have a home world left to threaten anymore either. But every time this happens, it kills her.”

The doctor brought the baby back, and it was still crying, but the cries were less desperate. “She’s in good health.  Got a little food in her, changed her, but I think she wants you back, Commander.” The doctor passed the bundle off to Poe, and surprisingly, the baby did quit crying.

“She?”

“Yes, you’ve got a little girl, there, Dameron. According to her weight and other developments, I’d put her at around 3 months.”

“Uh, ‘I’ve got?’“

The General walked up to the conversation. “Looks like she’s latched on to you for the moment, Poe,” she said, as they all stared down at the tiny face, that was indeed staring at Poe. Leia looked up at Finn. “I hope you guys are ready to be parents.” At the matching sets of bulging eyes and raised eyebrows on Finn and Poe, Leia laughed. “I’m kidding. We’ll find a home for her. The Resistance base certainly isn’t a place to raise a child.” She pursed her lips thoughtfully. “But, we shouldn’t go out and do it right away. We need to give it time, or the First Order will find out and punish the new parents too.”

Poe tried to pass the baby off to Leia, but the little girl started crying again, and only quieted when Poe hurriedly pressed her back against his chest.

“Like I said, latched on.”

Poe exchanged a worried glance with Finn.

On the way home, the girl consented to let Finn hold her while Poe manipulated the controls. Finn’s mind tried to panic, but watching the baby’s eyes drift close was hypnotic and peaceful. Poe glanced over, and a small smile crept on his face.

“What?” Finn whispered, eyes still on the baby.

“I don’t know why, but she looks like she belongs there. You’re a natural.” Poe’s voice was soft, not teasing, and Finn looked up to meet his eyes.

“You are too, Poe.”

“I know we’ve never talked about this, but…do you want children?”

Finn thought about the First Order, and the chaos it reigned on the galaxy, and how it couldn’t possibly be a proper time to have children. After all, look at this little girl. Her parents had been confident enough in their ability to protect her, and look what had happened. Well - they hadn’t been wrong. They’d protected her, at the cost of their own lives. He thought of Rey, abandoned on a backwater planet with no explanation, raised by herself. And he thought of the love he felt for Poe. Poe Dameron, who would take on any challenge, including children. Adoptive parents were always needed in the galaxy.

“You don’t have to answer right now, Finn. It’s okay. Just something to think about.”

“What about you?”

“I…do. Eventually. It seems like really bad timing right now, right?”

Finn smiled ruefully. “I was thinking the same thing.”

Poe stood, laying a hand on Finn’s shoulder and leaning over to brush a kiss across his lips. “That’s why we work, sweetheart. I love you.”

\---------------------------------

Back on base, Finn and Poe soon realized that they weren’t going to be the only ones helping to raise this baby. Jessika visited her right away, bringing a blanket her mother had made her. Finn got the feeling that Jessika both dreaded and needed the visits with the baby, as she served as a reminder that she and Jess were the only surviving members of her town. She endured the visits, though, and from Jess, little Shentara got her name - _survivor_ in Jess’ language. They began calling her Shen for short.

There was no lack of people willing to look after Shen when Poe and Finn both had duties, or when they needed a break. One child might have been too much for the both of them, but one child could easily be raised by a whole base.

Most nights, though, Finn and Poe were on their own. And some nights, they just couldn’t figure out what Shen wanted. One such night, Poe was pacing through their quarters, Shen screaming on his shoulder, insisting that Finn go back to bed because there was nothing he could do just standing there and so one of them might as well get sleep. Finn heard the edge of panic in Poe’s tone, and realized that there actually was something he could do.

He slipped Shen out of Poe’s arms. The crying didn’t stop. “We take breaks, Poe. That’s what we do. We share.”

Poe actually had tears in his eyes, and Finn knew he’d made the right choice.

By morning, when Jess and Snap came to pick up Shen, she was asleep, and Finn and Poe collapsed on their bed, exhausted. Poe gathered Finn into his arms and rested his forehead against his boyfriend’s. “Thank you.”

“Don’t. It’s us together or nothing.”

Poe captured his mouth, sweetly, tears coming again, then worked his head into the crook of Finn’s neck and sighed. Finn kissed his brow and drifted off to sleep with him.


	12. French Kiss (or in this universe, a 'Naboo kiss')

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I got smutty again. This one's decidedly smut. :)

@stardusteddameron asked for #16 off of the kiss list - French Kiss (or in this universe, a 'Naboo kiss')

* * *

 

“And then, I’m handing the dress back, and the lady’s like, ‘keep it, it looks better on you!’“ Laughter exploded around the table as Poe reached the climax of one of his many espionage tales. Finn laughed about three seconds too late, because he’d been concentrating on the crinkling by Poe’s eyes. No one noticed, and as Poe launched into another story, Finn felt the pleasant heat of lust pulse through him. He needed to take care of the heat somehow, he thought. It was all very straightforward in the First Order. Need to scratch an itch? Find someone else who needed the same thing and get it over with. Stormtroopers were encouraged to use each other for relief rather than do it themselves, it was more efficient that way. Finn could see that there were obviously more rules among the social groups of the Resistance, and he wanted to huff in frustration. 

He only realized he was frowning when Poe raised an eyebrow at him while Karé asked a question. Finn shook his head, nodded at the group, and headed out of the lounge. 

“Finn, wait up!” Finn turned at the sound of Poe’s voice, and damn if it didn’t kick his lust into overdrive to see the smile on Poe’s face when he turned. Poe rested a hand on Finn’s shoulder. “Everything okay?  You left so abruptly.”

Finn looked down at Poe’s hand. He wanted to feel Poe grip tighter. And he was reasonably sure Poe wanted something similar, if the way he kept biting his lip when he talked to Finn was any indication. But he didn’t really know how to ask, or how to ask outside of the First Order anyway. How did they navigate these murky social waters? Why couldn’t they just come out and say it? Beyond frustrated, Finn expelled air, then asked, “Poe, will you have sex with me?”

Poe’s eyebrows climbed halfway up his forehead, and he glanced around the hallway. “Uh, let’s talk about that somewhere more private.” He lowered his hand to Finn’s arm, pulling him along until they reached Poe’s quarters.  “Oh, stars,” he moaned as he took in the state of his room. “Sorry, let me just tidy up.” 

Poe was in the process of tossing some laundry in a basket, and Finn smiled, because his small cleaning frenzy was sort of all kinds of adorable. He stopped Poe with a hand on his back. “Your bed’s clean, and that’s the thing we need. Although I guess this chair would be okay, too.” Finn tested it, bending over and gripping the arms. “Yes, that’s nice,” he murmured, twisting his head around to smile at Poe and pressing his ass further toward the pilot.

Poe made a choking sound, and reached one hand out, and Finn waited for him to pull his pants down, to get on with it. But after a long moment, Poe drew his hovering hand back, and he pulled on the back of Finn’s jacket, drawing him back up to a standing position and turning him around.

“What’s wrong? Did you want to be on the bottom? I can do that too, I was just feeling like I needed something in me tonight.”

“Kriff, Finn. Okay. Alright. Stay calm.”

“I am calm.” Finn laughed, knowing the setup, and together they finished, “I was talking to myself.” Poe had those crinkles by his eyes again, and Finn just _wanted_ him so badly.

It must have shown in his eyes because Poe softened, smiled. “Let’s sit on my bed. We need to have a chat.” At the disappointment on Finn’s face, he smiled seductively. “Patience, Finn.”

Poe positioned them so they were shoulder to shoulder, backs against the wall. He took one of Finn’s hands in both of his own, tracing patterns over the skin. “So, stormtroopers have sex, I take it.”

“Well, yeah, Poe, I’m pretty sure everyone in the galaxy has sex.” Finn rolled his eyes.

“You’d be surprised,” Poe said thoughtfully.

Finn’s eyes bulged. “Wait, _you_ don’t have sex?”

Poe laughed. “Yes, I’ve had sex. I enjoy sex. Kriff, what a conversation, and I started it. Tell me what sex was like in the First Order.” 

Finn had learned that some of the things he’d done in the First Order that he thought were normal were in fact extremely abnormal, and he usually got one of two reactions when he brought up these abnormalities: laughter or anger. He didn’t really like seeing either, so he’d learned to keep quiet about it. But Poe merely sounded curious, so Finn felt safe sharing some of his secrets. He explained about ‘scratching an itch’ (which is what his supervisors had called it). Poe nodded, not looking angry or like he wanted to laugh, just continually rubbing circles across Finn’s captured hand. 

When Finn wound down, Poe brought Finn’s hand to his mouth and pressed his lips to Finn’s knuckles. Finn’s heartbeat picked up. “Finn, this is going to sound weird, but you may have had more sex than I have.” When Finn shook his head, Poe laughed. “Really. I don’t… I have to have a connection to the person before I have sex…before I make love. I need to feel something back from them. Do you understand?”

Finn chewed his lip, which distracted Poe’s eyes. “I- not really, Poe.”

Poe looked back up into his eyes. “I’m saying that when I want sex, I normally only want it with one person, and that person and I have chosen each other, not because we just want to have sex, but because we…” Poe looked like he was struggling to explain. “Because we enjoy each other’s company, and make each other laugh. And we’d want to have sex with only each other, and not other people. That’s what I mean by making love.” 

Finn thought of Kare and Snap and Jess, and tried to think if he’d been having any thoughts about them. “Poe, I only get this feeling when I look at you. Is that what you mean?”

Poe slipped a hand up to Finn’s cheek. “Yes.”

Finn felt vulnerable all of a sudden. “And is that… is that how you feel about me?”

Poe was leaning forward, face coming closer to Finn’s. “Yes.”

The whispered word simultaneously made Finn relax and sent his heart into hyper drive. “So are we going to have sex?”

Poe’s lips curved into a smile, but he kept his voice low. “I was thinking maybe we could start with something slower. Have you ever been kissed?” Finn shook his head, and Poe angled Finn’s head toward his and brushed his lips across Finn’s, just like he’d done on Finn’s knuckles. He moved on, brushing kisses along Finn’s jaw line.

Finn made a humming sound low in his throat. “Slow is okay?” He met Poe’s eyes.

“Baby, slow is perfect.” Poe moved to straddle Finn’s lap. “Let me show you.” The pilot cupped his cheeks in both hands and drew him forward, lips on his again. Finn agreed that this was nice, but not really very satisfying, until Poe whispered, “Open up,” against his lips.

Finn complied, and Poe’s tongue swept inside his mouth. He whimpered at the intimacy. He’d wanted Poe inside him, but hadn’t realized that could happen in more than one way. When Poe leaned back, Finn panted. “Can I do that too? With my…?”

“Give it a try, see what happens,” Poe replied with the smallest smile. This time, Finn used his hands to draw Poe’s head closer, and tentatively poked his tongue into Poe’s mouth. Poe’s chuckle vibrated into Finn. “A little slower, like-” Poe moved his tongue languidly around Finn’s. Finn couldn’t believe how intimate it was, how he’d been missing this for years and if this was just kissing, what would it be like to ‘make love’ with Poe? Little incoherent noises kept bubbling up his throat, and Poe moaned into his mouth, obviously pleased.

When Poe brought his head back again, Finn could barely see the brown in his eyes. “You’re so good, Finn,” he whispered, and Finn could almost feel himself puff up. 

“What happens next?”

Poe used his thumb to trace Finn’s lips. “Well, I could-” he leaned back down, and Finn was expecting another kiss, but Poe began to place open mouthed kisses along the column of his throat, until he reached the top of Finn’s clavicle and sucked there, leaving a small purple spot. 

Finn shuddered out a breath. “I think I like slow.”

Poe grinned, coming back to Finn’s eye level. “Me too, Finn, me too.” He leaned in and they were kissing again and Finn swore he’d never felt anything so amazing.

“If this is making love, I understand why you only do it with certain people,” Finn murmured when they’d come up for air.

“Oh honey, we’ve only just begun.”

“But… really? What else is there? I mean, the sex part, obviously. But is there more?”

Poe’s eyes were even darker now, and Finn felt the pilot’s hand distinctly on the opening of his pants. “Can I show you?” 

Finn nodded, probably a little too eagerly, but Poe just smiled. He unfastened the opening, lifting himself off of Finn’s lap and sliding the clothing over his hips, leaving him laid bare. Finn was momentarily confused when Poe didn’t take off his own pants, but knew better by this point than to say anything. When Poe wrapped a hand around his cock, Finn sucked in a breath. This was the contact he’d been craving - hand jobs were pretty common among the First Order - but when Poe bent his head down and swirled his tongue around Finn’s head, Finn’s hips jolted right off the bed. “Poe!”

Poe removed his mouth but not his hand. “Is that a ‘kriff Poe, that’s amazing’ or a ‘stop, Poe, I don’t like it’?”

“Kriff, Poe, that’s amazing,” Finn managed to say with a grin and gritted teeth.

Poe grinned back and leaned down again, capturing Finn in his mouth, swirling and using suction in such a way that Finn knew he wasn’t going to last. He dug in his heels, trying to fight it, but- “I’m sorry, Poe, I’m sorry!” he moaned, shooting into Poe’s mouth. Poe just took it all in, swallowing and climbing back up to hold Finn’s face.

“Sorry for what? You’re magnificent.”

“Sorry I didn’t go slow, Poe. It was just-”

Poe captured his mouth, and as their tongues met, Finn realized with a jolt that he was tasting himself. “We can work on it, but for now I’ll take it as a compliment.” 

Poe rolled his hips against Finn’s lap, and Finn could feel how hard Poe still was. “What do you want me to do?” 

Poe buried his head in the crook of Finn’s neck. “Touch me,” he responded desperately. 

Finn hurriedly opened Poe’s pants and freed his cock, and Poe moaned as he sucked another bruise, right under Finn’s ear. Finn wrapped his hand around. Someday, he thought, he’d like to try that - kissing on Poe’s cock. But for now, he could give Poe what he’d learned in the First Order. He slowly began to pull, finding a rhythm with Poe’s thrusting hips. Poe dragged his head down for another kiss, groaning into his mouth as he came all over Finn’s shirt. Uncaring about the mess, Poe collapsed onto Finn’s chest.

“Okay, so a little of my way, a little of yours, seems like the right formula,” Poe sighed.

“I like the part of yours where we only get to do this with each other,” Finn admitted.

“Me, too.”

“And the kissing, with the tongue. Let’s keep that too.”

He felt Poe grin against his chest. “It’s called a Naboo kiss.”

Finn laughed. “Well, I like it, Naboo kissing.” 

Poe pulled himself up. “Want to practice?”

 


	13. Stormtrooper - Rebel Finn Sunday #1

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> CW: Drugs, Drug Withdrawal

This was for the Rebel Finn Sunday Challenge.  This is not Stormpilot. The prompt was "stormtrooper" so I wrote about his time before he met the love of his life. :)

* * *

“The captain’s here,” FT-8475 whispered to FN-2187 as they passed each other in the hallway.

“Phasma?” he responded quickly, and received a nod. FN-2187 doubled his efforts on the inventory he was taking. Captain Phasma meant one thing: promotions to the fighting ranks were coming down the pipe. Being a fighter meant better food, better training, and better treatment. And, fighters actually got to leave base. FN-2187 couldn’t remember anything but Starkiller; then again, he couldn’t remember anything beyond the last few years, but according to everyone else, that was normal. FN-2187 couldn’t help feeling like there was something bigger and better out there for him, and becoming a fighter was the only way to get more opportunities.

He was disappointed when Phasma left without calling a general assembly. He didn’t notice anyone missing from their ranks as they filed into dinner. Maybe she’d be back. He held out his arm, and the food machine scanned the bar code tattooed on his wrist and spit out his evening allotment of proteins, vitamins, and the blue pill. He didn’t like taking the blue pill, it always made him feel a little loopy. He noticed that it made the others feel happy, and they got irritated if they were late with a dose for some reason. FN-2187 felt this irritation too, a kind of edginess crawling under his skin, and hated it, but he faithfully continued to take the little blue pill, because compliant troopers became fighters. Fighters got to leave the planet and see what was out there.

After dinner, in the haze of the blue pill, the troopers shuffled off to bed. There was no talking, although every once and awhile a trooper let out an occasional giggle, as if they were experiencing something different than everyone else. For his part, FN-2187 stared up at the bunk above him and imagined the constellations.

The next day, the Captain returned, and this time she pulled a group of troopers away, including FN-2187. They were being promoted to fighters, and must report to training immediately. He was filled with elation. Finally, finally he was getting his chance.

His day was full of hand-to-hand combat, military tactics, and an interesting hour of history of the Empire, where he learned about public enemy #1, Luke Skywalker. By the time they made it to target practice, FN-2187 noticed that the crawling under his skin had returned. It had been too long since his last blue pill and the targets were getting blurry, and he barely even hit the area, let alone make a bulls-eye. Panicked that they would kick him out on his first day, he pocketed the blue pill and flushed it later. That night, the crawling got worse, and FN-2187 broke out in cold sweats. He felt like he was on the verge of throwing up all through training, but that night, he pocketed the pill again. His head began to clear, day by day.

When he could think clearly, he began to outperform the other fighters. Captain Phasma doled out praise to him, naming him the best of the new bunch. FN-2187 was happy to keep her happy; the feeling he got under her praise was better than the little blue pill had ever been.

The unintended consequence of his clear mind, though, was that he began to question what the First Order said was the truth. And when he went into his first real fight, and saw the innocents being slaughtered, he realized he could make a choice, that there was an entire universe out there, and he could escape if he only had a chance.

 


	14. Wait a minute. Are you jealous?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> CW: Finn is dealing with a drug-induced mood disorder, and also anxiety attacks.

Stars28 asked for #5 from the first list:  “Wait a minute. Are you jealous?”

  
This ficlet is mostly grown men talking about feelings, if that floats your boat, read on! Sort of an ambiguous ending. Sorry if any part seems OOC, idk, this was one of those fics that just kind of came pouring out of me. 

*Whatever you do, DO NOT take a shot every time I use the word “feeling” or something similar. lol*

* * *

 

When Finn opened his eyes, it was to a different world. The one he’d left behind had been chaos, one blood pounding minute after another, whether it was crash landing in a TIE fighter, trying to provide medical care to a wookie, or rescuing Rey. Everything had been go, go, go, but when he woke up, he was surrounded by the cool white quiet of the medbay, and everything was still, and silent, and peaceful.

“Hey, buddy,” a voice on his right murmured, breaking the silence. “Welcome back.”

Even the sunny smile of Poe Dameron was quiet, peaceful, his tone light and full of kindness.

It was such a juxtaposition that Finn began to shake a little, without even knowing he was doing it. Before long, the bed was shaking, not violently, just vibrating from the shivers that wracked Finn’s body. “I don’t know what’s wrong with me,” Finn said, distressed, eyes wide at Poe.

Poe’s hands were rubbing along his good shoulder, his voice soothing. “You’re alright, Finn. I’ll be right back, I’m just going to get the doc. Everything’s okay.”  
\----------------------  
The doctor hadn’t allowed Poe back into the room. Efficiently monitoring Finn’s vitals, he gave Finn a small injection that seemed to stop the worst of the tremors. “We’re learning a lot about the Stormtrooper program from you, Finn, although I’m sure that’s not a comfort. Basically, they had you on some type of mood suppressor. Our guess is that it made you a lot more malleable to their brain conditioning programs. A further guess, because we really have no precedence to go on here, is that your Force sensitivity allowed you to fight off the effects of this drug. You’re feeling it now, a little withdrawal, but mostly just the rush of hormones that you wouldn’t have been used to, because your brain has finally had time to relax.”

The tremors stopped completely as Finn concentrated on what the doctor was saying. “So, what does this mean exactly?”

“It means you’re probably going to be experiencing a lot of new feelings that the drugs suppressed before. Instead of the even keel we presume you experienced through your childhood and even in puberty, you’re probably going to extreme experience highs and lows. We’ll monitor everything, of course, but I’d like you to schedule time with Katara. She can help guide you through this, and hopefully with all of us working together, we can get you back to that even keel naturally, without having to use drugs.”

Finn felt nothing but numb.  
\-----------------------  
“Everything feels like it’s tangled up inside me,” Finn admitted in his first session with his therapist.

Katara nodded. “That’s what I’m hoping to help with. I think if we can identify the threads that are making this tangle, we can unravel the knot. I’d like you to keep a journal.” She wrote down three words on an old fashioned pad of paper. “We’re going to start with the major threads, the big ones that are easiest to identify. Fear, anger, happiness.” She passed the pad to him. “I’d like you to think back to the events that happened once you decided to leave the First Order and rescue Poe. Try to write down times you experienced those three emotions. Then, we can discuss them in our next session. Once we get these three down, we can start to delve into more nuanced feelings.” She sat back, smiling at him. “Does that sound like something you can do?”

Finn nodded. “Yes, I think so.” She nodded back, placed a gentle hand on Finn’s arm, and left his room, leaving the quiet peace to envelop him once more.

Finn looked down at the pad. Fear and anger. Those were the easiest to identify. Fear and anger had permeated those few days. Closing his eyes, Finn willed himself to relive the moments. The bone-deep dread he’d experienced, waking up alone in the sands of Jakku. The chill when he’d seen Kylo Ren carrying Rey onto his ship. The red, reflected in Kylo Ren’s lightsaber, when he’d used the Force to fling Rey against the tree. Fear and anger, intertwined. He tried to write everything down, but the shaking was back, and he felt like he was going to throw up. He closed his eyes again, surprised to feel tears welling up in them.

“Finn?” Poe’s voice came from the doorway, and it made Finn shake harder to have Poe find him like this, being so weak. He felt Poe take the pad and pen away, felt him sit on the bed, rubbing his arm in comfort, like he had before. “When Rey cried over Solo’s death, when the Order blew up Maz’s place… Was this an assignment from your therapist?” Poe’s voice was neutral.

Finn nodded tightly, and related the task to Poe. When he was done, he buried his face in his hands. “It’s so kriffing hard. It’s like I’m feeling everything at once, or I feel nothing, there’s no in between. And I can move but they won't let me out and this kriffing room is driving me crazy! I don’t understand how people do it.”

Poe tugged lightly on his wrist, and Finn let him pull his hand away. “Well we have years to figure it out, not days. As for getting out of this room, let’s see what I can do about that.” Poe squeezed his hand, then hurried out of the room.

Poe returned in a matter of minutes, pushing a wheelchair, trailing the doctor. “Commander Dameron, it is highly inadvisable to expose the patient to the greater base at this time, given his emotional state.”

“The patient is getting sick of these four walls, wouldn’t you? I’d’ve broken out of here days ago.”

“I’m informing the General of this,” the doctor replied angrily.

“Have at it.” With that, Poe dismissed the doctor and turned to Finn. “Okay, buddy, let’s figure out how to do this so we don’t hurt you.”

After some adjusting and grunt work on both of their parts, Finn was settled in the chair. Poe handed him the pad and pen. “We can work on it outside,” Poe said.

Finn was shaking again, emotions roiling up inside his chest that he couldn’t yet identify, the overlying one feeling something like fear. But before Finn could get overly worked up over the unknown feeling, Poe began talking in his ear, explaining the duties of all of the people he saw, telling Finn endless names and ranks and assignments. Before Finn knew it, they were pushing out the doors, and into a bright sun that made Finn’s eyes hurt momentarily before they adjusted. Poe just kept rolling him, grunting a little as they hit some gravel. “Here we are,” he said triumphantly, when they stopped in what seemed to Finn to be the middle of the woods.

“What’s ‘here’?”

“When I can’t get to the sky, then the forest is my favorite place to be,” Poe explained. “It’s like home, like Yavin 4. I thought you might like it.”

Finn nodded, breathing in the woodsy smell. “It’s a nice change of pace.”

Poe smiled at him, and more emotions poured into Finn’s system, making him frown in return. Poe grabbed the pad off of Finn’s lap and sat down against a tree across from Finn.

“Okay, so, anger and fear, that makes sense. What about happiness?” Poe poised the pen over the paper and looked at Finn expectantly.

Finn continued to frown at Poe, but when Poe refused to prompt him further, he flung his thoughts back again. “Um… Happiness is harder to pinpoint,” Finn admitted.

“Sure. Fear kind of drowns everything out, doesn’t it? Like when I flew my first solo. I remember my hands shaking when I went through all of the pre-flight checks, knowing that if I failed, there was no one there to save me. But when I was up there, it all just melted away into this...this shining happiness, calmness. I love that feeling.” Poe’s face had lightened as he talked, emotion showing on his face. Finn wished he could do that, allow himself to just feel. When he gave into the emotions, good or bad, all he felt was out of control.

“When I saw Rey again at Starkiller base,” Finn said finally. “I was trying to form a plan, and I had no idea what was going to happen, then I saw her. And we hugged, and everything fell away. Everything was calm inside me. I was happy, for that moment.”

Poe was writing it down, a look of concentration on his face like he was trying to write exactly the right thing. “Nice work, buddy.” When he finished, though, he didn’t press Finn further. Poe leaned his head against the tree, looking up at the canopy above. It drew Finn’s eyes up, and he realized there was constant movement above him, whether it was leaves or the birds flitting between trees, chasing each other. Finn settled into watching it, thinking that it should be chaotic, but it wasn’t, somehow, even when his mind struggled to find a pattern.

“Watching Rey’s face when she discovered something new. Everytime I saw it, I wished I could be like that, be so excited by new experiences, but I was just scared.” He looked back at Poe, saw he was writing it down, his brow furrowed.

“I know it’s not my place, Finn, I should probably just let your therapist say it…” Poe sighed. “But who am I kidding? I’m going to say it. You experienced justified fear, Finn. Don’t berate yourself for it.”

“I ran away. At Maz’s. I was going to run away.”

“‘Going to.’ Not ‘did.’”

They lapsed into silence again. Finn watched the small breeze flutter through Poe’s hair. He grinned. “When I made Phasma lower the shields, then dumped her in the garbage chute.”

“The lady in chrome? I’d’ve liked to see that,” Poe said, grinning back, before writing it on the paper.

Finn didn’t even realize his eyes had closed when he felt Poe moving his chair again. “I guess I should get you back, buddy,” Poe murmured. “No, keep your eyes closed, it’s fine.”

Finn only reopened them when they got back to the medbay. He had a brief glimpse of an upset looking doctor and General Leia, both with arms crossed, before Poe shut his door and helped him back into his bed. “They aren’t going to stop you from seeing me or anything, are they?” Finn sounded vulnerable, and he hated it, hated that he was stuck here.

“Don’t worry about me, I’ll talk ‘em down, I always do. It’s easier to beg forgiveness than ask permission.” Poe grinned back at him before exiting.  
\-----------------------------  
Whatever Poe said to them must have sufficed, because he kept coming back, and taking Finn out. When Finn was able to walk, first with a walker, then a cane, then with Poe’s arm, they began to explore other parts of the base.

Or at least, some days, they did. Some days, Finn shut everyone out, unable to deal with both the physical exertion of recovery and the mental exhaustion that came from trying to keep all of his emotions reined in. The fact that he could lock his door and shut out the outside world gave him a sense of control over the chaos in his life. He was grateful that the Resistance allowed it - there had been no locked doors for troopers in the First Order. No privacy. Finn had only sought that privacy toward the end - after that first battle, after what he recognized now as his first panic attack.

On good days, though, he kept working on emotions with Poe. Katara kept adding to his list, and now he had a range of emotions to assign feelings to, more complex than before, like gratitude, guilt, and frustration. And Katara had been right; identifying the nuanced emotions felt like being able to take the threads of the knot of his emotions one-by-one and rein them in. It was becoming easier to just feel without feeling like he was losing control.

“Poe, what’s this one?” They were sitting on a blanket on the ground atop a hill overlooking the base, something he’d only been able to do just recently because of his back injury, and honestly, it felt casual, and comfortable, and amazing. He smiled at himself and the fact that he had been able to sort all of those feelings out. Progress.

Poe glanced down at the pad, at a word Finn had nothing written by. “Jealousy? Uh…” Poe hesitated, when he didn’t normally. “Jealousy is like… when you want something, or someone, and you can’t have them.” Finn furrowed his brow, and Poe struggled to explain further. “Like, you have Rey, right? Well, if someone wanted you, as a lover, or whatever, they might be jealous because you’re taken. By Rey.” Poe was blushing now, his cheeks flaming red, and he was looking away from Finn.

“I’m not… wait a minute, Poe.” Finn waited until Poe’s eyes were back on him. “Are you jealous?”

Poe looked away again, showing all of the signs of ‘embarrassed,’ which he’d told Finn about last week. He’d shared the story of when he’d accidentally called General Organa ‘mom’ in front of everyone. Finn had laughed, because Poe had laughed, because embarrassment was only awful for a little bit, Poe had explained. Finn still felt bad that he’d caused this round of embarassment, though.

He was still looking into Poe’s eyes, and Poe broke the contact first, glancing away. “I think I can add something to it. Last week, when you were showing that young cadet how to properly fire her blaster,” Finn said, wanting to both smile and frown at the memory. “You were so close to her and I wanted that. Wanted you there, behind me, showing me, even though I know how to fire a blaster. Is that jealousy?”

Poe was looking at him again, with his eyebrows raised. “Uh, it kind of sounds like it. Or it might be infatuation.” At Finn’s questioning look, he continued. “Infatuation is like… liking someone as more than a friend, but just for a little bit. Infatuations die out easily.”

Finn’s hand crept over the blanket until some of his fingers were touching Poe’s. “If you… like someone as more than a friend, how do you know if it’s just an infatuation and not something more?” His breath caught in his throat; he felt like it was the most important question he’d ever asked Poe.

“I normally just wait it out,” Poe answered. Poe’s fingers moved until they were entangled with Finn’s on the blanket.

“That sounds,” Finn searched for the right word, “frustrating.” He smiled when he found it.

Poe laughed. “It can be. But it saves me from sadness, too, if they don’t feel the same way.”

Finn leaned a little closer to Poe. “What if they do feel the same way?”

“I… Kriff, Finn, you’re saying you’re interested in me as more than a friend, right? I’m not confusing signals here?”

Finn nodded. “I’m not Rey’s. Maybe I could have been, if she’d been around, after…”

“But I was instead,” Poe finished, eyes cast down again, unidentifiable emotion on his face.

Finn reached out, tipped Poe’s chin up again. “Tell me what you’re feeling, because I think I said something wrong. Please help me understand.”

Poe sighed. “I’m feeling like maybe you only feel the way you do about me because I was around for you. It,” Poe hesitated, and Finn realized it must be as hard for him to identify his feelings as it was for Finn, “makes me feel less wanted.”

Finn struggled with a way to explain his own feelings. “You make me feel calm, Poe. Like everything’s going to be okay, even when everything in my brain is screaming at me. I miss you when you’re not there. I...I don’t know if that’s infatuation or not.”

Poe was silent, still looking at him, their bodies moments from leaning into each other.

“I’d like to try, Poe. To see what happens if we’re more.”

Poe’s mouth was only a short space from his now, and Finn watched Poe’s eyes flick down to Finn’s lips. He licked them reflexively. “I’d like to try, too.” Poe closed the distance between them, kissing Finn sweetly, drinking from his lips, sending Finn’s heart into a rapid pitter patter that he could now identify as excitement instead of anxiety.

When Poe pulled back, Finn saw a range of emotions on his face, and Finn felt like he’d been gifted with the power to affect Poe in such a way. He inhaled suddenly, a new worry hitting him. “Don’t let me hurt you, Poe.”

Poe smiled, but there was a twist to his smile like he didn’t quite intend kindness, more like resignation, and rested his forehead against Finn’s. “I don’t know how to stop you.”


	15. Someone sent us forty dildos via FedEx.

@youandthemountains asked for # 37.) “Someone sent us forty dildos via FedEx.” off of [this amazing list of prompts ](http://animalasaysrauer.tumblr.com/post/143928878821/fic-prompts)by the awesome @marswithghosts

Please send me a number [from this list. :)](http://animalasaysrauer.tumblr.com/post/143928878821/fic-prompts)

Stormpilot AU: Everyone lives in the same apartment complex; somehow manages to have way more interactions with neighbors than I ever would think to.

* * *

“I think he’s a writer,” Rey said as she put dishes away. “He’s going to notice you staring, you know.”

Finn let the lace curtain fall back into place on the kitchen window. “A writer, huh? How do you figure?”

His roommate shrugged delicately. “I don’t know, he just seems like the type. All the hipster gear and reclusiveness.”

“He’s not a recluse, he’s out of his apartment right now,” Finn pointed out, grabbing a plate from the sink and stacking it.

“He walks that little dog of his every day at the same time, they go to the same park, tell me that’s not reclusive.” Rey arched an eyebrow at him.

“Calling him reclusive makes him sound like an old man. Like your uncle Luke. This guy’s just…shy.  Quiet.” _And handsome as all get out. Way to go, Finn, you’ve got a crush on a guy who you’ve never even met, and you don’t even know his name. This is worse than when you got a crush on the straight boy next door. No, wait, this is exactly like the time you got a crush on the straight boy next door._

“Whatever. We’ve been here for 6 months and he’s never said a word to us. Recluse.” Rey held up her hands in defense. “In all fairness, though, recluses make excellent writers. Hence… I wonder if he owns an actual typewriter, do you think he’s that hipsterish?”

Finn wanted to continue defending their neighbor’s honor, but Rey had a point - he was definitely hipster trash. But it looked _so good_ on him. Finn just couldn’t resist.

Turning away from the kitchen, Finn looked depressingly at his pile of books. “Want to go in with me and order pizza tonight? I think I’m going to be pulling a late one. I’ve got like three lit assignments all due tomorrow.”

Rey sighed. “I’ve got to study for the written for my license, so sure.”

“Rey, you’re going to pass the flight exam. You’re a natural.” He rubbed a hand over her back, and she smiled up at him. 

“Thanks, Finn. And you’re going to be an awesome English teacher. You’re going to Michelle Pfeiffer-Dangerous Minds the shit out of those kids.” 

“And we’ll both do it with the power of pizza,” Finn finished, raising his phone to his ear.

Twenty minutes later, when the doorbell rang, Finn was immersed in the world of Dickens and grunted to be pulled out. He wanted to finish the chapter, and took the book to the door with him, holding out the cash. “Hey, dude, could you leave the pizza on the table?  Keep the change.”

“Uh…” Finn snapped his head up from his book. The hipster-writer-recluse-hottie neighbor was on the other side of the threshold, and Finn was momentarily struck dumb. “Dickens, huh? You a college student?”

 _Oh god, his voice._ “Uh, yeah. And you are obviously not the pizza delivery guy. Um, how can I help you? Was our party last week too loud? Sorry.” Finn willed his mouth to stop, then looked down and realized the man was carrying a large package. “Uh, is that for me?”

“Depends,” the man grunted, shifting the weight of the package. “Are you Finn Troy? Is that even a last name?” The man’s eyebrows drew together. “I bet BB that it wasn’t a real last name.”

“Yeah, I’m Finn. Here, let me take that.” Finn transferred the package into his arms, and it was surprisingly heavy. He also noticed it was opened.

“Sorry ‘bout that, Finn. I was expecting something from Amazon today and opened it without even checking the name. And then I saw what it was…” The man grinned a little.

“What it is?” Finn turned around and placed the box on the coffee table. “Thank you, Mr….” As he fished for the name, Finn folded back the flaps.

“Oh, shit, yeah, Poe. Poe Dameron. Sorry.”

The name half-registered in Finn’s mind when he saw what was in the box. “Rey?” He called. Then, more urgently, “Rey!” He flicked the flaps back closed to check the name on the box, but there his name was, in neat black lettering. _What the fuck?_

He turned to Poe. “Uh, I have no idea, this is… I mean… I don’t want you to get the wrong idea.”

Poe grinned. “Hey, to each their own, I always say. I’m glad you’re enjoying a healthy sex life.”

Finn was mortified. “REY!”

“WHAT?” Rey poked her head out of her room, irritated.

“Someone sent us forty dildos via FedEx!”

“What?” Rey emerged, heading for the box.

“Me. Someone sent _me_ forty dildos.”

“Well actually, it looked like there was only a few dildos in there. The rest was your standard butt plugs, lube, condoms, cock rings, et cetera…” Poe trailed off when he realized both Rey and Finn were staring at him with twin looks of horror and fascination. 

“Dude, who even are you?” Rey asked.

“Oh, um, Poe Dameron.” Poe gave a little wave.

“No, I mean, who _are_ you? How do you know about all this stuff?” Rey held up a huge black dildo.

“Oh, um, well, it is not common knowledge?” Poe was blushing again, and Finn thought it was pretty much the cutest thing he’d ever seen.

Rey and Finn exchanged a look. It was true that neither of them were very experienced. “Oh, yeah, um, right. Butt plugs,” Finn said, hoping to come off casually. “But I didn’t order this stuff. I guess I’m going to have to call Amazon and sort it out.”

“You should ask if you can keep it,” Rey said with interest. 

“Rey, don’t you have studying to do, in your room?”

Rey glanced at Poe, then smirked at Finn. “Can I take this with me?” She held up a silver vibrator.

“Put it down and back away, girl. This is all going straight back.”

Rey complied, laughing her head off as she closed the door to her bedroom, leaving Finn and Poe to stare silently at each other.

“They’re probably going to tell you to keep it,” Poe murmured. “Items of a personal nature and all.”

“What the hell am I going to do with all of it?” Finn collapsed on the couch, patting the cushion beside him so Poe would sit too, and amazingly, he did. 

“Well, you could share it with your girlfriend. Or boyfriend,” Poe added hurriedly.

Finn gave him the side-eye but played along with his fishing. “I don’t have a boyfriend.”

Poe hesitated, then pushed up off of the couch again. “Ah. Well, I should probably go, dinner time and all.”

“Wait!” Finn stood, reaching out to grab one of Poe’s hands. “I feel like we’ve shared a real life experience here. I’ve got pizza coming soon. Want to stick around and bond over the sex toys?” Finn’s eyes widened in horror as he realized what he’d implied. “Oh god, I meant bond _over_ them, like, because we’d be eating our pizza here, over them? Oh Jesus, Finn, you’re an idiot.”

“I would love to,” Poe answered sincerely, leaving Finn nonplussed. Poe pulled a colorful plug out of the box. “Now, this is a pretty standard size for a plug, although the new user would want to start with something smaller and work their way up to this one. Smaller also works better if you’re trying to get away with wearing it in public.”

Finn knew his eyes were bulging. “How - what- why?”

“I’d like to bond. I mean, I’d like to get to know you better,” Poe muttered. “I was trying to joke, ha ha,” he finished sarcastically. 

As awkward as the whole thing felt, it also felt extremely natural to have Poe there in his space. He smiled at Poe and chanced contact by laying a hand on Poe’s knee. “So what do you do?”

“Oh, I”m a writer.”

From Rey’s room, Finn and Poe heard a loud, “Ha! Called it!”

Poe didn’t miss a beat. “I write young adult fiction - or I try. But I also have a guilty pleasure. “ Poe leaned in like he was telling Finn an important secret. “I also write erotica. And so far, that’s been way more popular than anything I’ve sold to a publisher. Hence, the knowledge of what’s in there.” Poe nodded at the box. 

Finn laughed, and settled back. “Wait, you have to tell me more about this…”

——————-

“Finn, baby, wake up a second.”

Finn blinked up at Poe, realizing he’d fallen asleep on Poe’s couch, again. “Mmmphaerlgh?”

“Do you need anything from your apartment? Are you spending the night here?”

Finn was still groggy, but pulled his boyfriend down by his lapels and planted a kiss on his mouth. “I thought we were going to pull out _the box_ ," Finn said, just the smallest tinge of whine in his tone, before smiling up at Poe.

Desire flashed in Poe’s eyes. “Well then, by all means, let’s pull out the box.”


	16. Looks like we’ll be trapped for awhile

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> CW: anxiety attack from claustrophobia

@beautifullights1 requested #17: “Looks like we’ll be trapped for awhile” from [this sentence prompts list. ](http://animalasaysrauer.tumblr.com/post/142918476306/send-me-a-pairing-and-a-number-and-ill-write-you)Send me more if you feel like it! I do take multiple requests from people so if you’ve sent me a number before and want to do another one, feel free.

* * *

The power flickered again, and Finn glanced up at the lights. 

“It’s okay, buddy. Don’t be nervous.” Finn arched a brow at Poe, who didn’t notice as he tightened a bolt. Finn _hadn’t_ been nervous at all, so it seemed strange for Poe to point it out. “The lightning storms normally last 20 minutes and then we’re back to business as normal.” Poe took a drink of water, and Finn noticed that his hand wasn’t quite steady. They were working in one of the small maintenance rooms deep within the base, with no windows, working on an engine. When the power flickered, the whole room would go completely dark for a few brief moments.

Finn shrugged off Poe’s strange behavior and focused on what Poe was doing with the engine.  He was trying to learn some simple maintenance skills, an area of education he was woefully lacking in, as Rey and Poe both liked to point out.

“This is the crank shaft, it-” Poe cut off when the lights flickered again, then completely cut off. “Kriff,” Poe said in a low voice. Finn could hear the panic in his tone.

Finn felt his way to the wall, and the door, trying to pull on it. “Right, power locks. Well, looks like we’ll be trapped for awhile, Poe.” Through the silence that always accompanied a power outage, Finn heard Poe’s rapid breathing. “Poe, are you okay?” Finn felt his way back over to the table, but couldn’t find the pilot. “Where’d you go?”

“O-over here,” Poe heaved out, and Finn pinpointed his voice to one of the corners of the room. He realized Poe was sitting against the wall, and slid down it himself, until his thigh was lightly touching Poe’s.

Poe’s breath was still moving too rapidly for Finn’s liking. “Poe, how can I help you?”

He felt Poe’s body shudder next to him, and Poe didn’t answer. Worried, Finn sought out one of Poe’s hands. He realized the man had his arms wound tightly around himself. He gently pried one loose and brought it to his chest. “Breathe with me, Poe.” Finn took an exaggerated breath in, so Poe could hear and feel it, then whooshed it out. After a few minutes, Poe’s breaths were matching his much slower pace. The pilot was still shaking, though. “Is it okay if I…?” Finn trailed off, making a move to pull Poe into his lap, but not wanting to commit without word from Poe.

“Y-yes,” Poe said, shakily. 

When he was settled in Finn’s lap, Poe buried his head in Finn’s shoulder. “I’m sorry, Finn. Kriff, what a mess.” Poe’s hand fisted into Finn’s shirt, clutching at the fabric. “I just really kriffing hate small, dark spaces.”

Finn hesitantly placed a hand on Poe’s back, running it up and down his spine experimentally. “What about ship cockpits?”

Poe let out a little sigh. “I know, right?  It’s stupid. But I can stand it because I know that I’m going to be surrounded by air or space very soon.”

“It’s not stupid.” 

Poe’s grip on his shirt loosened a little. “Thanks. Kriff, I feel like an idiot, though. ‘The best pilot in the Resistance,’ reduced to a mess because of a power outage.” 

“Hey, don’t say that. That’s what makes the Resistance so amazing to me… you’re allowed to have flaws here. Back in the First Order, the first sign of something like this, it was back to reprogramming. Or worse.” Finn realized that Poe had gone still beneath him and winced. “Sorry. I’m not trying to trivialize your fear. The opposite. I’m… I’m glad you’re not perfect.”

Poe snorted. “Oh, buddy, I’m pretty far from perfect.”

“I haven’t seen much evidence of that,” Finn murmured. 

“Let’s take a poll. Raise your hand if you spilled a bunch of important Resistance intel to Kylo Ren. Okay, now raise your hand if you held your own in a light saber duel with him.” Poe’s voice sounded bitter. He was, however, not shaking anymore, and Finn was grateful for that.

“That’s not fair. To yourself.” Finn felt Poe’s tiny shrug. He realized he was still rubbing Poe’s back, and stopped. Poe let out a small sound of disappointment.

“Finn-”

“Poe-”

They chuckled at themselves. “You go first,” Poe said.

“Poe, I think I like you.” Finn said the words in a rush, to get them over with quickly. It was easier to say in the complete and utter darkness.

Finn heard Poe’s quick little intake of breath. “Finn, I think you should kiss me.” 

He felt Poe readjust himself in his lap, felt Poe’s hand find his face so he could home in on his lips. He sensed Poe’s face before his seconds before Poe’s lips captured his. Poe cupped Finn’s head, tipping it to find the perfect angle as Finn opened up, and Poe’s tongue swept inside. Finn realized at some point in the kiss that he’d closed his eyes, and when he opened them, he could see Poe’s own closed eyes. He broke off the kiss. “The lights, Poe!” he exclaimed with a smile on his face.  

Poe opened his eyes, drinking in Finn’s big smile and bright eyes. “Kriff, you’re beautiful,” he murmured, before descending to take Finn’s mouth once again.


	17. Wait a minute, are you jealous - Part 2 (Rey returns)

Shontara on Ao3 commented on [chapter 14:](http://archiveofourown.org/works/6627463/chapters/15464539) “ I would love to see how they interact whenever Rey gets back. How would Poe take it, how would Finn. I just love healthy conversation and relationships, but I also love angst. It would hurt so good. ” 

It _would_ hurt so good, Shontara. It would. Allow me to deliver your pain? (Well, angst with a happy ending, anyway).

* * *

Happiness:

  * When I saw/hugged Rey at Starkiller base
  * The look on Rey’s face when she discovers something new
  * When Poe took me to the woods
  * When Poe helped me learn to walk again
  * ~~When Poe kisses me~~



Finn frowned at the last line before erasing it. It wasn’t something he wanted his therapist to see, to talk about. His relationship with Poe was only between them. Sure, most of the base had figured out _something_ was going on, but the minute Snap had razzed Poe in the dining hall and Finn had looked uncomfortable, Poe had shut it down.  He didn’t know what Poe said exactly to his squadron, but no one alluded to anything after that.

Finn was grateful, since he was eating with them, now, and interacting with the base as a whole without having to retreat to his room more often. Finn wanted so desperately to be the person he’d been before - outgoing, the type of person who spoke to a room full of Resistance command and gave suggestions. The type of person who people pinned their hopes on, their lives. Katara said he would be that person again, that he was working his way there and making excellent progress. Finn wasn’t sure he believed her. One more thing the First Order had stripped from him, he thought bitterly, then added that to his “anger” section.

After the therapy session, Finn was surprised to see Poe waiting for him since he was supposed to have been gone all day. Finn reached out, brushed his hand against Poe’s, but didn’t take it. “Hey.”

“Hey, Finn.” Poe’s eyes told him that Poe wanted to say more, but wouldn’t out here, outside the privacy of either of their rooms.

Finn smiled a little. “Walk me back to my quarters?” It was always Finn’s habit to go back to his room after a therapy session - the greater base was too much for him to handle after dealing with raw emotion for so long.

Poe rubbed his neck, and Finn noted worry on his face. He was getting better at pinpointing Poe’s emotions. Other people’s were still hard, but then again, he did spend most of his time with Poe. “I got called back early because Rey and Luke are on their way back. They’ll be landing soon.”

Finn paused, leaning against the corridor wall, taking the time to analyze his feelings. Poe paused with him, knowing what he was doing. Excitement was riding the highest, anticipation for what news Master Luke would be bringing, and the happiness that always accompanied the loop of Rey’s smiling face he liked to replay in his mind again and again when he missed her. Glancing at Poe, he realized there was an undercurrent of worry, fed by the worry flowing through Poe. This was new, and Finn was still getting used to it - the idea that Poe’s emotions affected his own. It was at complicated times like this that Finn understood why the First Order used drugs to keep their kill machines from feeling anything.

_“Don’t let me hurt you, Poe.” … “I don’t know how to stop you.”_

The words echoed through Finn’s mind as he watched Poe patiently wait for him to pull himself together. He nodded at Poe, and they continued down the corridor. Dread overlaid the other feelings as he realized he didn’t know how to stop himself from hurting Poe either.

———————-

“Finn!” Rey’s face was bright, exactly like Finn had been picturing in his mind for the months since he’d seen her. She ran to him, somehow managing to swallow him with her willowy body in a fierce hug. She pulled back, examining his face, then rose up on her toes to brush a kiss across his cheek. “I missed you.”

 _Do you miss me, or the Finn you knew?  Or are they the same like Katara and Poe say? Will they be similar enough for you to recognize me?_ That’s what Finn wanted to say. Instead, he pulled her into another hug, resting his cheek on hers, and said, “I missed you, too, Rey.”

There was a familiarity returning as Rey grabbed his hand, and he laughed at the gesture. “You must have really missed me if you’re grabbing _my_ hand.”

Rey grinned. “Show me your quarters, I want to tell you everything.” Rey nodded at Poe, who had finished his conversation with Luke, as they passed.

Finn stopped Rey, had to. “I- I’d like to talk later, Poe. Maybe tomorrow.”

There it was. Finn registered the hurt on Poe’s face, and though he hadn’t wanted to see it, knew it was inevitable. But Poe nodded, and Rey tugged on his hand, so he picked up his pace again, leading her away from the landing area.

—————————

Happiness:

  * ~~When I saw/hugged Rey at Starkiller base~~
  * ~~The look on Rey’s face when she discovers something new~~
  * ~~When Poe took me to the woods~~
  * ~~When Poe helped me learn to walk again~~
  * Rey?
  * Poe?



Being with Rey again hadn’t been quite what Finn expected. She made him smile a lot, and she was the only person in the galaxy, except for maybe Chewie, to live through most of the same events he had. Like Poe, her voice, her demeanor, was like sunshine breaking through the clouds.

She reminded him of who he’d been, and he found that he liked the reminder. He could act like that Finn again, just for Rey. If it meant ignoring the pad of paper full of his feelings, and suppressing the cocktail of feelings inside him, well, he could do that for a little while, he reasoned.

He didn’t want to take her to the mess hall, but he told himself that was new Finn thinking, and shoved the licks of panic he was feeling down further inside himself. They sat with Leia and Luke, and Poe was suspiciously absent. As soon as he could, Finn rose, nodding at the group, and walked away with his tray. Rey caught up with him. “You should show me D’qar,” she said, a sunny smile on her face.

He was beginning to feel his emotions slip their reins, taking control. He fought them down, thinking, _kriff, not now._ He didn’t want to take her to any of the places Poe had taken her, it seemed disrespectful, but the pressure of his emotions was beginning to feel like a ticking bomb, and he thought maybe the woods would be the best place for him now anyway.

“It’s beautiful here,” Rey sighed, when they were walking through the forest. “The island with Luke - it was everything I dreamed of, and both of these places are light years better than Jakku. I don’t think I’ll ever get over the acres and acres of _green._ “  She paused, running her hand over the rough bark of a tree. She closed her eyes. “I can feel the Force here. Running through everything. Can you feel?”

Finn nodded, even though Rey’s eyes were still closed. “I’ve been working with Leia.”

Rey opened her eyes and stared intently into his. “I have to make a choice, Finn.”

 _So do I._ “Yes?”

“Luke and I have been training, but if I commit to being a Jedi…” Rey reached out and placed a hand on Finn’s chest. “I know you are my friend, Finn, but we could be something more.” _  
_

_How do you know if it’s an infatuation, or something more?_

“But not if I want to be a Jedi.” Rey cupped Finn’s cheek.

Panic was flooding his system now, and it felt so wrong to be panicked in these woods, in the place he’d just now realized he thought of as Poe’s woods. This was a safe place so what was wrong with him?

Finn closed his eyes and willed himself to breathe evenly when all he really wanted to do was run away and sequester himself in his room. “Rey, I can’t make that decision for you, but I need to tell you,” Finn felt like he was forcing the words from his mouth, “I’m not the me you think you like that way.” At Rey’s look of confusion, he let out a huff of frustration. “I’m fundamentally different, and I don’t think you can understand.”

Rey’s brow furrowed, and Finn saw hurt there, but not the same kind he’d seen on Poe’s face. “You’re right, I don’t really understand, Finn.”

Finn sighed. “I think I was infatuated with you, back then. But I have something more now, with someone else.” Strangely, saying it aloud calmed some of the screaming in his brain. He was able to rein in some of the emotions coursing through him.

Rey gave him a smile small. “Poe?”

At the sound of his name, the rest of Finn’s emotions seemed to fall into place, and he sighed. “Yeah, Poe.” Finn leaned in, brushed a kiss across Rey’s temple.

Nearby, a branch snapped, accompanied by a  soft gasp, and Rey and Finn both looked up to see Poe retreating further into the woods, away from the base. Rey hit him on the arm. “Finn, go!”

By the time Finn caught up with Poe, the pilot was leaning against a tree, staring up at the canopy with a stony expression on his face, breath even and controlled. He didn’t look when Finn stepped in front of him.

“Poe.” Poe still ignored him, jaw tight. “Kriff. Poe.” Finn stepped in, cradling Poe’s head in his hands until Poe looked at him, finally, eyes shiny but not shedding tears. “Poe,” Finn whispered softly, leaning in to capture the pilot’s lips, releasing them quickly and laying his forehead against Poe’s. “I’m sorry. This, us. It’s not an infatuation. It’s not because you were here when she wasn’t. It’s because you _know_ me. You know me and somehow you still want this. You act like my favor is some grand prize, but kriff, Poe, how can you not see how lucky I am to have found someone who puts up with everything I have to deal with? Who not only puts up with it, but who helps me? Makes me feel better?” Finn swept his lips across Poe’s again. “It’s not an infatuation.”

Poe pursed his lips just so, and Finn grinned, leaning in to capture the bottom lip with his teeth. Poe laughed, bringing his arms around Finn to pull him closer, his eyes still bright with unshed tears. “Okay,” he said, voice a little shaky, before kissing Finn back. “Okay.”

\---------------------

Happiness:

  * Rey
  * Poe ~~< 3 <3 <3  
~~
  * Eating dinner with friends
  * ~~Kissing Poe in front of everyone~~
  * Making Leia happy
  * ~~Waking up in Poe’s arms~~



Finn smiled at the list. Katara didn’t need to know everything.


	18. “You’ve said you’re going to leave, but I don’t want you to go and if I don’t say something now…”

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> CW: referenced past domestic abuse, referenced OMC death, panic attack

Elegant Bunny asked for “You’ve said you’re going to leave, but I don’t want you to go and if I don’t say something now…” from the [Good Parts list](http://animalasaysrauer.tumblr.com/post/143032515926/right-to-the-good-parts-prompt-list) by @tiptoe39

I figured no one was going to write the coffee stand AU of my dreams so I decided to do it myself. If you don’t live in a place with drive up coffee stands, it’s just a drive through but for espresso. :) Google image search “dutch bros”

First Order in this AU isn’t necessarily evil, but I couldn’t resist because it’s a really good name for a coffee place.

* * *

June 1st:

Finn sighed. It was the slow part of the evening, with the college kids gone from town. No one wanted espresso at 12am, but this particular First Order stand stayed open 24/7 because of the proximity to both the college campus and the highway.  However, with finals week over, the rush for late-night caffeine was over, and late travelers on the interstate were hit or miss, so Finn was bored. At least he was getting paid to be bored, he thought, as he fiddled around on his phone, then pulled out his book.

At the sound of a car, Finn hurriedly marked his place, opened the window, and leaned on the windowsill, broad smile on his face. Smiling and sunny personalities were a requirement at First Order. “Hi, how can I help you-” today. He was supposed to end that phrase with “today” but the word got caught in his throat as he looked down at the fine specimen in the beat up black sedan with brown curly hair and a beard in need of trimming. The poor thing looked up at him with a confused expression, a little like a lost puppy.

“Hey, yeah, do you know how to get to Riverside? I am completely turned around.” The man pulled a paper map over from the passenger seat. Finn looked in the car, which was filled to the brim with various boxes and pieces of luggage. Even the passenger seat was full, a little plastic carrier buckled in, though what the critter was, Finn couldn’t see.

“Just moving to town?”

The man smiled up at him. “Yeah. You’re the first place I’ve seen open.”

“Summer hours,” Finn explained. “With the college kids gone…” Finn tried to lean farther out, to point out the street the newcomer was looking for, but a sudden spasm gripped his back, and he almost toppled out of the window, managing to catch himself at the last second.

“Oh, shit, sorry buddy,” the man said, alarm on his face as he unbuckled himself and stepped out of his car. “Here, let me make this easier.”

Recovered, but embarrassed, Finn helped the guy spread out the map on the kiosk counter. “Here’s where we’re at, and here’s Riverside. So you just need to take a right down here, and then a left at Hamilton, and you should be golden.”

“Golden,” the man laughed, and Finn wanted to sigh. His eyes crinkled at the corners when he laughed. It was fucking adorable. Finn let himself think the thought for exactly three seconds before shoving it away.

“Welcome to town.” Finn held out his hand. “Finn. I’m here nightly for your every caffeine need.”

The man clasped his hand, giving a firm shake. “Good to know. I’m Poe.” A yowl sounded from inside the car. “Oops, that’s BB-8. She’s had a long ride, I should probably get going and let her out in her new home.”

“Right - well, nice to meet you, Poe,” he said, smiling his customer service smile again.

“And you, Finn.” Poe swept a hand through his curls before gathering up his map, climbing back in his car, and driving away, waving.

Finn waved back, closing the window and picking up his book again.

June 2:

Finn hadn’t been expecting to see Poe again so quickly.  In fact, when he’d gotten home at 6:30am, night shift done, he’d decided to put the attractive man completely out of his mind. It’s not like Finn was looking for anyone or anything right now, not after his experience with Jake. Finn shuddered, then went through the short breathing exercise his counselor had taught him for when thoughts of Jake kicked up his heart rate. _Jake can’t hurt me._ Having to go through the whole process meant that by the time he’d thought of Poe again, his mind wasn’t exactly being favorable towards men.

Then again, when Poe walked up to the stand that evening around 11:30pm, Finn’s immediate instincts were only pleasant ones. His counselor would take that as progress, Finn decided, as he opened the stand window. “Well, hey there, newcomer. How’d town treat you today?”

“Oh, it’s fine. Got distracted, worked through dinner,” Poe said, and Finn got the impression that he was still distracted by something. “Do you guys sell any food?  You were two blocks closer than the Stop N Go.”

Distracted Poe was also adorable. “Well, nothing substantial.” Finn turned away from the window and checked the fridge. “Looks like we didn’t sell out of muffins this morning, though.  How do you feel about orange-cranberry?”

“Sure,” Poe answered distractedly, staring up into the night sky.

Finn set the muffin in front of Poe, who didn’t grab it. Finn smiled a little, turned, and quick steamed some water before adding a tea bag. “Here. Tea’s on the house.”

Poe focused back on Finn, taking the muffin. “Tea?”

“Chamomile. It’ll help you relax. The muffin’s two dollars.”

Poe handed him some bills - the man had tipped him for pulling a muffin out of a fridge, bless him -  and took the paper cup of tea. “How’d you know I needed to relax?” He took a sip before even waiting for Finn’s answer.

Finn shrugged. “Working through dinner. Walking it out. I thought maybe work was giving you trouble.”

Poe set the tea down and began to break apart the muffin. “You’re pretty perceptive, Finn.”

 _Not always. Not when it counts._ Finn shook the thought from his head. “Well I hope the tea helps.”

“Do you mind if I eat here?  My apartment is really stuffy.”

“No, of course not. Not like I’ve got a line,” Finn said, gesturing to the quiet world outside the window.

Poe finished a bite of muffin and looked around, as if just now taking in the fact that the drive-through was deserted. “Does business ever pick up?”

“Not this time of year. But people hardly ever want to pick up this shift so I come in. It makes shit for tips, though,” Finn admitted, and then turned sheepish when he remembered Poe had tipped him, and very well, at that. “Thank you, I mean. Every little bit helps, right?”

Poe had an uncomfortable look on his face, like he was just realizing that he and Finn might come from very different economic backgrounds. Finn groaned inwardly. The guy was too nice for his own good. Poe preoccupied himself by breaking off another bite of muffin awkwardly. “So, coffee stand, is this what you do?”

“Most nights in the summer. I also work at the local high school. Paraprofessional.” At Poe’s confused look., he explained, “Uh, I get paid to work in the classroom, normally with specific students.”

Poe nodded thoughtfully. “Do you like working with the kids?  I’m here to work at the university on an engineering project, but I don’t think I’d like teaching.”

Thinking about his work at the school made Finn smile. “Yeah, the goobers are pretty lovable.”

Poe seemed distracted again, but Finn slowly realized that he was being distracted by Finn. Squirming under Poe’s gaze, Finn grabbed a wet towel and began to clean the barista area. When he chanced a glance back at Poe, the man was looking away, his cheeks a little red. Poe balled up the muffin wrapper, then looked around. Finn held out his hand to accept the trash, and Poe rewarded him with one of those smiles that made his laugh lines stand out. “Thanks, buddy.” Poe held up the tea in a salute. “For everything.” He began to walk away.

Finn realized he was smiling involuntarily, his genuine smile, not the one he reserved for customers or parents or the principal. “No problem, pal,” he called to the retreating figure.

June 4:

The 6am rush was hitting just as Finn was clocking out, and when he exited the stand, he had to walk past a line of cars waiting patiently - or not so patiently, from the look on the guy in the SUV’s face - for coffee. He was unlocking his bike when he heard, “Finn!”

Looking around, he saw the beat up black sedan - an old Toyota - and Poe waving from the rolled down window. Finn finished unlocking his bike and rolled it over to Poe. “Hey, Poe.”

“Hey, I didn’t think you’d still be working.”

“Just got off shift.  You looking to avoid me?” Finn wasn’t sure where the teasing tone had come from.

“No, I, heh, I was just wondering when you sleep, is all.” Poe looked sheepish, and once again, Finn thought, too nice for his own good.

Finn strapped on his helmet. “ _I’m_ not the one who has a day job and eats dinner at 11.”

“True.” Poe and Finn both looked ahead as the car in front of Poe slowly pulled forward in line. Poe looked like he wanted to linger, but Impatient SUV Guy had transformed into an Angry SUV Guy, and he honked his horn at Poe, causing both of them to jump. “Oh, well, okay,” Poe said, as if being personally offended by the guy was too much to deal with.

Finn was dying to flip the guy the bird, but he was a regular, and Finn knew he’d get reported to corporate. “See you around, Poe,” he said instead, throwing a leg over his bike.

June 7:

Finn didn’t see Poe again for a few days, though he didn’t really register that fact until he saw Poe walking up and thought, _oh, good._ It was another late night visit, and Finn threw the window open, though his own eagerness caught him off guard. “Work through dinner again?”

Finn quickly noted that it wasn’t regular Poe, but Distracted Poe that had walked up to the stand. “Hi, Finn. Any muffins?”

Within a minute, Finn had a cup of tea and a muffin placed in front of Poe. “Not that I don’t love the business, Poe, but couldn’t you just stock up on easy foods at the store?”

Poe took the tea first, sniffing it appreciatively, and his eyes seemed to clear. “Sometimes when I’m on a project, I get obsessive. I need to break away from it. Walking helps. Talking helps.” Poe eyed Finn over the lid of the tea, and it took a lot of Finn’s willpower not to reach out and caress one beard-shadowed cheek, offer comfort. This was not something he wanted to get tangled in right now.

Instead, he said, “What are you working on?”

Poe made a face. “I’d rather not talk about it, sorry. I’m just annoyed with it right now.” Poe took a bite of muffin. “Let me know if it’s too personal, but how come you’re not a teacher? If you love the kids so much?”

Finn pursed his lips, because it was personal. Having to relocate after the incident with Jake had interrupted his schooling, and he was barely keeping his head above water trying to be able to afford therapy on his income, let alone the medical bills he was still paying. Something must have shown on his face, because Poe put up a hand. “Sorry, I’m a curious person, and sometimes it gets me in trouble.”

Finn smiled a little. “It’s okay. I couldn’t afford the schooling,” he replied, because it was at least partially true. As Poe continued to eat the muffin, looking self-conscious, Finn took pity on him, launching into a story about one of his kids at school and ‘oversharing.’

June 20:

Poe had become one of his regulars, despite the fact that Finn could never count on him coming at a regular time. He rarely went more than twenty-four hours without having Poe stop by the stand, whether it was in the evening or as Finn was getting off of work. They never chatted for more than five minutes, and it made Finn wonder how they had become friends when they’d only spent a matter of an hour or two accumulated over weeks together.

But they _had_ become friends. _Just_ friends. Maybe Finn gave off a vibe, because he’d seen Poe send him an interested glance more than once, but Poe had never acted on it, never made a move. Poe was, above all, a gentleman. A cute, funny, dork of a gentleman. Finn wasn’t entirely sure he would reject a move from Poe at this point, but he appreciated that, even if Poe didn’t know his background, he was letting Finn make the first move. And Finn was nursing his crush, deciding if he really wanted to make a move or not.

July 14:

Visiting with Poe was the highlight of his day, every day.

He thought it might be the highlight of Poe’s day, too, because Distracted Poe never visited him anymore. It was always Fascinated Poe. That Poe found him fascinating made Finn want to laugh in delight, even as it confused him. He began to perch himself on the stand window, opening it as soon as he saw Poe walking his direction and leaning out to greet him with a muffin and tea by the time he’d walked up. He wasn’t trying to get Poe to leave sooner; instead, he was trying to get the stupid little necessities out of the way so that they could talk for longer.

“You should join me,” Poe suggested that night. “This tea is my favorite, now.”

Finn smiled. “I’ve got six more hours on this shift, I probably shouldn’t be drinking something designed to put me to sleep.”

“Make yourself something, then. I’ll buy.” Poe winked at him.

Finn rolled his eyes, but turned to the machine to start some espresso shots. As he started to steam milk, though, he turned to glance at Poe, caught him looking at a part of Finn that was decidedly not his face, and jerked, spilling scalding hot milk all over himself. “Shit!” He held his t-shirt away from his skin, but it was still too hot, and he peeled it off without thinking, turning away to get a cold cloth for the hurting skin on his stomach.

Behind him, Poe gasped, a little belatedly, Finn thought. “I’m okay, it’ll be fine. I’ll grab one of the extra shirts. Stupid clumsy me.” He turned, holding the cool cloth to his abs, and saw that Poe was still staring at him, a shocked expression on his face. _Shit._ In the heat - _haha_ \- of the moment, he’d forgotten about his back. He’d forgotten about his scar. Poe had seen his scar, and now was looking at him with a horrified expression, and suddenly Finn couldn’t handle that Poe knew, had seen. Poe knew something horrible had happened to him, anyway. Finn collapsed against the counter, still holding the cloth, out of Poe’s sight. His vision tunneled until everything in front of him was out of focus, his breath whistling through his teeth, until a hand lightly guided his head down between his legs.

“You need to breathe, Finn,” came Poe’s panicked voice. “I don’t know… I don’t know how to deal with this. I need you to breathe, buddy.” The hand on his back was tentative, but it helped him focus, and slowly, very slowly, Finn was able to calm, to bring his breathing back to a normal rhythm.

He couldn’t bring himself to raise his head and look at Poe, though. He brought up his knees, resting his head on them and burying his face. “You should go,” he whispered, his voice hoarse.

The hand left his back. “Not a chance, buddy.” Finn heard Poe settle down on the floor near him. When he looked up, Poe was leaning against the other counter, cross legged, a patient look on his face. “Is there someone I can call? You should go home, lie down. Put something on your stomach.”

It was Poe’s absolute willingness to let the moment pass unquestioned that made Finn open up. “My ex-boyfriend, Jake. He went a little crazy.” Finn let out a hysterical little laugh. “A lot crazy.”

Poe’s eyes were hard. “Did he - what happened to him?” Finn looked down again. “It’s okay, you don’t have to tell me.”

Finn’s breath was thin and shaky. He felt raw and exposed, like Poe was looking into the very center of him. “I had to defend myself. He didn’t survive. I had to defend myself,” Finn repeated. Poe unfolded his legs and nudged one of Finn’s feet with his own, leaving it there like a small act of comfort. And somehow it was just enough to keep Finn from hyperventilating again.

“Let me call someone, Finn. You shouldn’t have to keep working after that.”

The shaking had started. Finn knew Poe was right; he’d be useless for making drinks the rest of the night. He needed to go home, take one of his pills reserved for emergencies like this, and sleep. And so he nodded, quietly, handing his phone over to Poe with the right number pulled up. He heard Poe explain that Finn had gotten ill and needed to go home. He felt Poe give him the phone back and help him put a shirt over his head and stand. He saw Poe leave the stand again, waited as Colette, still rubbing her eyes, came and found him, still standing dazed, telling him that he sure did look like shit and to head home.

Finn stumbled out of the stand, knowing that his shaking hands were too far gone to be able to unlock his bike, and resigned himself to walking home. He stopped short when he saw Poe pull up in his car, and then Poe was bundling him into the passenger seat and asking him for directions. At Finn’s tiny studio apartment, Poe took the keys and let them in. Finn shuffled straight for the bed, energy entirely drained. He managed to ask Poe for a glass of water to take his pill, and the last thing he clearly remembered was Poe spreading a blanket over him.

July 15:

Poe wasn’t there when Finn awoke. It was probably for the best, Finn decided. In the aftermath of the panic attack, only embarrassment remained. Still, he called into work, taking that night off as well. He spoke with his counselor on the phone, then put on something mindless on Netflix and alternated between asleep and awake, trying to maintain his night shift sleep schedule even if he had called in. 

Around 7, though, he was roused by a knock on the door. After checking through the peephole, he tried to plaster a pleasant expression on his face and opened the door to Poe, who was holding a grocery bag.

“Okay, first of all, feel free to tell me to fuck off, and I take no offense. But I’ve got chicken soup, chamomile tea, and the latest Pixar movie, and I can stay and share or, like I said, I can get out of here.”

Finn contemplated him for a long moment, then stepped back, letting Poe in. 

“Uh, the soup is canned. I hope that doesn’t change your decision.” Poe offered a small smile. 

“I’m sure it’ll be great,” Finn said, smiling a little as well.

Now that he was inside Finn’s place, Poe didn’t once mention the night before. They ate soup on the couch and laughed (and cried a little) at the movie. Poe offered to help Finn stay up to maintain his schedule, and they switched to a card game, but when Poe started chain-yawning, Finn convinced him to leave. “This is me telling you to fuck off,” Finn said. “But, you know, nicely. And for your own good.” He winked at Poe, then stood in the doorway to watch him leave.

And just like that, they went back to their routine, like nothing had happened, even if Finn felt like everything had shifted.

August 10:

Poe was waiting for him when he showed up for his shift. The man was making small talk with Thomas, whom Finn was replacing, and when he saw Finn coming on his bike, he actually lit up. “Finn! We finished!” Poe was so exuberant, Finn wanted to hug him.

“Finished?” he asked as he unhooked the chin strap on his helmet. 

“The project, at the University.  We finished! Jose and I had a breakthrough this morning, and now they’ll be testing everything, but my consulting job is done.”

“That’s…fantastic, Poe!” Finn had to force the enthusiasm into his voice. Poe was going to be leaving. Finn berated himself for getting so attached; he’d known all along that Poe would leave eventually, but Poe had slipped into his life so easily. Like he belonged there. Like he knew Finn’s darkest secrets and kept being his friend anyway, when at any time he could have just stopped showing up for a muffin and tea. “I’m really happy for you. Um, I need to get inside now, let Thomas go.”

Poe nodded, obviously still on a high from completing the project. “Right, of course.”

“And you probably need to start packing,” Finn said in a low voice.

Poe’s face fell, and he swallowed. “Right, of course,” he repeated. “Right. My firm’s sending me to Texas next.”

“Right. That sounds fun.” Finn entered the stand, expecting Poe to come around to the window, but when he looked out, he saw Poe walking away. He let out a shaky sigh, then resigned himself. It was for the best.

August 12:

“Finn, someone on this side’s asking for you.” Tina switched spots with him deftly, taking over the order Finn had been doing.  They’d hit an early morning rush again, a line up before Finn even got off shift. When he got to the window, there was Poe, car packed, BB-8 in her carrier strapped into the passenger seat.

“I just wanted to say goodbye,” Poe said. “And thanks, for everything.”

Finn opened his mouth, unsure what he should say. Then: “Don’t go. Or don’t go alone. Or, I don’t know. I just don’t want to never see you again.”

“I travel, Finn, that’s what I do.” But Poe’s face betrayed his words, looking up at him hopefully. Then, he opened his door, ignoring a honk behind him, and stood in front of the window.

“Even travelers have homes to come back to. Don’t go without… you can’t leave without…”

“Without?”

Finn leaned out, running a hand over the beard that needed taming again. “Without knowing how I feel about you. Without knowing that I … like you a lot, that I’ve been wishing all summer I had the courage to do this.”  He cupped Poe’s head in his hands, pulling him closer, brushing his lips with a kiss, then leaning back a little to look into Poe’s eyes. 

The spell was broken with Angry SUV Man honked again. Then, another regular, Tall White Chocolate Latte, leaned out of her rolled down window to yell at Angry SUV Man. “Shut up! This is adorable! Let them have their moment!” Then she turned to Finn and Poe and yelled, “Keep going, honeys, true love is important!” 

Laughing, Poe closed the gap this time and pressed his lips to Finn’s, with more pressure and confidence than Finn had shown. The honk sounded again, and Finn pulled back, smiling. “You better pull around before there’s an incident.”

Poe stole another kiss. “But I don’t want to leave you.”

“Good,” Finn replied, grinning. “Pull around, I’ll finish this line up and meet you.”

Excitement washed over Poe’s face, and he pulled out, behind the stand and out of Finn’s sight for the moment. Finn apologized to Tina, then turned back to get the next order, when he saw Poe again, walking along the lines and handing everyone a small card. When he got to the customer Finn was trying to serve, Poe broke in, saying, “Sorry for the hold up. Here’s a free coffee card, I had them all saved up. Don’t forget to tip.” He flashed a grin at Finn and disappeared again.

Finn’s smile was genuine as he served the line of cars. He wasn’t sure exactly how he and Poe were going to work everything out, but they were going to try, and that was perfect for now.


	19. Rebellion - Rebel Finn Sunday #2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> CW: drugs, drug withdrawal

The Resistance has a policy regarding Stormtroopers, and Finn learns that sometimes rebellion means rebelling against the rebels.

_   
_ Continuation of the AU where Stormtroopers are kept obedient because the First Order has made them addicted to drugs.

* * *

 

_ White walls. _ It’s the first impression Finn got when he woke up.  _ White walls. Is this Starkiller? _ Something about that idea seemed wrong. He was starting to think back, trying to figure out the last thing he remembered, when his vision was filled with a medical droid. “Good morning, Finn,” it’s programmed-to-have-good-bedside-manner voice said mechanically. “Welcome back to D’qar.” The droid began scanning his body.

Relief flooded Finn.  _ D’qar, thank the stars. Not Starkiller. I made it off Starkiller. Han didn’t. Rey?  _  “Where’s Rey?” He reached out to grab the metal arm of the droid, pausing his scan.

“General Organa has told me that I’m allowed to tell you that Rey has taken the Millennium Falcon in search of Luke Skywalker.”

Suddenly an impression of Rey pressing her lips to his forehead, and a whisper -  _ we’ll see each other again, I believe that -  _  fluttered into Finn’s mind, and calm washed over him. Rey would be okay. 

“The bacta has done quite well on your injuries, Finn. It would be within healing parameters for you to attempt getting out of bed.”

Finn grunted as the droid held out a hand and he worked himself to a sitting position. Amazingly, the droid was right - there was an annoying stiffness in his back and shoulder, but no pain. Steadily, he swung his feet around and stood. The stiffness made him limp a little, but Finn could already tell that it would loosen if he walked. “Can I… am I allowed to leave?” 

A human voice answered him. “Of course, Mr…. Finn.” It was a young woman with two high buns, and Finn remembered her from the command room before the attack on Starkiller.  She extended a hand, and Finn gripped it automatically. “Lieutenant Kaydel Ko Connix. Or you can call me Kay.” She smiled at him, seeming a bit nervous. “I was sent to bring you to command when you’d awakened. Commander Dameron sends his regards; he wanted to be here but they’re out on mission.”

“Poe’s alive? He made it? What...what happened at Starkiller?”

“Oh right,” the woman nodded. “Of course you wouldn’t know.” She filled him in as they walked along the corridors of the base. “And Commander Dameron was able to get inside the oscillator and blow it up, triggering a chain reaction that caused the plant to turn into a star,” Kay explained, guiding Finn around a corner and opening up into the command room where they’d planned the attack on Starkiller.

Finn’s stomach was roiling. He held Kay’s arm for a second. “Were there any - did the Resistance take any prisoners?”

Kay shook her head. “Scans showed one escaped ship, but otherwise, no, everyone went out with Starkiller.”

Finn remembered the billions of screams echoing in his head when First Order had used Starkiller to destroy the Republic. If he’d been awake for their escape from Starkiller, would he have heard the screams of all of the Stormtroopers as they burned to death?

Finn believed in his heart that the First Order was unequivocally evil. But his fellow Stormtroopers? Finn wanted to throw up.

“Are you okay, sir?” Kay was asking, peering up at Finn with a worried expression. 

Finn nodded, swallowing the feeling down. He couldn’t do anything about those deaths now. “What mission are you guys running?”

Kay surprised him by leading him directly to General Organa. Before Starkiller, they’d been in a state of emergency, and that’s why Finn had been sure that proper protocol had been waived. But now that everything looked like business as usual, he would have never expected to be able to talk directly to the leader of the Resistance. Neither Kylo Ren nor Hux would have ever stooped so low.

“Finn, I’m glad to see you’re awake and walking.” General Organa’s voice was warm and welcoming. “Thank you, Lieutenant Connix, for retrieving him. I know Poe will be sad he wasn’t here when you woke up.”

Finn nodded. “He’s out on a mission?” he led, trying to get Organa to fill in details.

The General gestured to the screens, where Finn could see the HUDs of several pilots, including Poe, as well as ground troops. “We have good intelligence on the location of a First Order base. They’re fractured right now, trying to regroup.  It’s the best time to strike.”

As if on command to her words, Poe and the pilots began to do just that - strike the base with bombs, tearing apart its defenses.

General Organa held down a comm button. “Nice work. Major Brance, send in ground support.”

On screen, white figures began to pour out of the smoking base. Finn realized with a start that they were Stormtroopers, trying to flee the wreckage. As they all watched, Resistance ground troops surrounded the base, picking off the runners. Finn’s eyes widened in horror. “What are you doing? Why are you killing them?”

“They’re just bucketheads,” Admiral Statura replied. “Plenty more where they came from.”

The bile was threatening at Finn’s throat again. “How can you say that?  They’re people!”

“No, they’re clones,” Leia said with a frown, like she was worried that Finn might have gotten some brain damage that hadn’t been noticed. 

“No, the  _ Empire _ used clones. Those are people, like me.” Before anyone could stop him, Finn pressed the comm button in front of the General and yelled, “Belay that order. Stop killing the Stormtroopers, repeat, stop killing the Stormtroopers. Take them alive.” 

Confusion burst out on all lines, but the Resistance fighters had stopped killing the fleeing white figures. Finn took his finger off of the button, then backed away. Statura was glaring at him, hand on the blaster at his side, but Leia was looking at him with pity.

“Finn, we tried interrogating Stormtroopers long ago. It doesn’t work. They don’t know anything important.” 

Finn sputtered. “Didn’t Poe tell you? I was a Stormtrooper. I was stolen from my home, kidnapped, brainwashed, and hooked on these nasty little blue pills, and so are all of them,” he finished, pointing wildly at the Stormtroopers that were raising their hands in surrender. “They’re innocents. And if you kill them like this, kill them when they’re not trying to kill you, that makes you no better than the First Order.”

The room erupted in angry buzzing around him, but the General laid a hand on his shoulder, peering into Finn’s eyes. Squinting, she nodded, then turned to Statura. “Bring back the survivors.” She gestured for Finn to follow her. “Finn, you’re going to tell me everything you know about the Stormtrooper program.  How come no one knows about it? Where are all the outraged parents?”

The thought clenched Finn’s gut. Where  _ were _ his parents? Why hadn’t they fought for him? They were thoughts he hadn’t allowed himself to think about. “General, we’re going to need to prepare the med bay.  They’re going to need the drug… it’s not comfortable, giving it up.” Finn remembered the nights spent shaking.

General Organa nodded. “Statura. Get this policy change out to all Resistance fighters, ground and air. From now on, we treat the Stormtroopers as prisoners of war, not cannon fodder. Maybe we’ll be able to reunite some families.” 

She led Finn to her office and began to take him through everything he knew, piece by piece. Through her windows, he could see, on the video screen, the Resistance fighters loading the surrendering Stormtroopers up into transport ships, and something like relief settled into his stomach.


	20. "Whisper to me in the language of your people"

#20 from [the funny prompts](http://animalasaysrauer.tumblr.com/post/143928878821/fic-prompts) for Zia Boo: “Whisper to me in the language of your people.”   Who’s ready for some fluff?  Enough with the angst/comfort. ;)

* * *

 

Finn was surprised when he woke from the coma to find that the tentative detente he’d formed with BB-8 had turned into a full-fledged friendship, seemingly while he was asleep. A happy chirp from BB-8 was the first thing Finn remembered, coming out of the coma, and then the droid was happily rolling away - Finn wasn’t sure why his mind thought to put the descriptor ‘happy’ to the way a droid rolled, but it had popped up in his mind anyway - and returned with a jogging Poe.

“Buddy!  Hey man, welcome back!” Poe’s confident smile assured Finn that he’d get answers to everything he’d missed soon, and he cracked a smile too, even when the doctors descended on him.

\---------------------------

BB-8 became his own personal and unofficial mascot and cheerleader, all through physical therapy and training. It was only slightly awkward, Finn thought, having a constant companion that he couldn’t communicate with. But he adored the little orange and white ball, and not only because the droid tended to bring Poe around Finn’s vicinity. The amount of time Poe and BB-8 spent with Finn began to cause quite a bit of talk throughout the base, until one day, Finn put everyone out of their misery (but especially Poe and BB-8 and himself) by grabbing Poe in the middle of the mess hall and kissing him senseless to the sound of slow applause building in the room. Any worry Finn had flew away when Poe wrapped his arms around Finn and kissed him right back, and the applause turned to calls of “Take it back to your bunks, guys!”

Finn leaned back, eyes glittering, even as BB-8 was running little excited circles around them. “I think that sounds like an excellent idea, don’t you, Mr. Dameron?”

“A fantastic idea,” Poe agreed with a grin, breaking away and dragging Finn by his hand to the sound of more applause.

\------------------------------

It was when Finn started spending the night in Poe’s quarters that he finally noticed it. It happened during what Finn supposed was a routine every night.

Poe kissed him, then went to the fresher to brush his teeth. Finn dug out his supplies from the small bag he’d brought, and joined him. He wanted to laugh and choke at the sight before him. Poe had stripped down to a tight white tank and boxers, working his toothbrush with one hand, and swinging his hips to the little beeped tune BB-8 was giving him. When BB-8 saw Finn enter the fresher, it rolled over, beeping enthusiastically, pushing at Finn’s legs until he was standing by Poe. “Uh, Poe?”

Poe grinned despite the toothbrush. “Just go with it.” BB-8 continued to chirp musically, and Poe bumped his hip into Finn’s as Finn began his own night routine.

“What is it saying?”

“Basically just stuff about dancing over and over.” Poe wiped his face and looked down at the droid. Finn didn’t know if a droid could look lovingly at someone, but this droid certainly was trying with Poe. “Ready for shining, BB?” Finn snorted. Poe was wearing the same adoring look, aimed at the droid. He looked back at Finn at the snort. “What?”

“I think I need to be jealous,” Finn replied. Poe rolled his eyes and walked out of the fresher with BB-8 on his heels. When Finn finished up, he found Poe wiping a polishing cloth over BB-8 with a final flourish.

“‘Kay BB, time for bed.” At the disappointed noise, Poe responded. “No, Finn and I are going to bed too. No more fun to be had tonight. You won’t miss anything.”

A resigned beep as BB-8 rolled to its charging station. And then it happened.

“Beep beep, beeeep,” chirped Poe, and the droid responded in kind before powering down in its station.

Finn was able to contain his laughter for about three seconds. “Oh my stars, Poe, you speak to it in droid?  Did you even say anything?”

Poe turned to Finn, blushing, then taking in Finn’s pajama bottoms and bare chest. “Communication is important,” he said as he approached Finn and took the bathroom supplies out of his hands, then leaned him back into the wall and pressed into him.

“Is it communication when you’re uttering nonsense?” Finn barely got the words out as Poe nuzzled into his neck, then angled up to place a small nip on his earlobe.

“You’re awfully cheeky tonight, mister,” Poe complained, running his hands up Finn’s bare abs in a way that made Finn shiver, then flicking his fingers across to tickle them. Finn’s abs convulsed reflexively, and he giggled. Outright giggled. Poe’s eyes widened, then narrowed at the reaction. “Well, well, well, I see I have a way to exact my revenge.” Poe ran his fingers across again.

Before long, Finn was crying, and shaking, and begging for mercy. “Stop, Poe, please,” he finally got out, and Poe stopped immediately, as he always did when Finn asked him to. Finn wrapped his arms around Poe and pulled him into a tight hug, placing a kiss on his cheek. “I love you, you adorable goofball.” He walked with Poe to the bed, pulling the pilot down on top of him.

Poe propped himself up on his elbows and looked down into Finn’s eyes, tender now. “I love you, too.”

“How do you say that in droid?” At Poe’s surprised snort, Finn threw his head back and laughed. He never knew sex could be so joyful before Poe. “W-w-whisper to me in t-th-the language of your p-people,” Finn finally managed to say around his laughter.

Poe leaned down, kissing Finn’s cheek, where a stray tear had slid down in his amusement. “Beep, beep, beeeep,” he whispered in Finn’s ear, just like he had before to BB-8.

Finn’s breath caught in his throat as he realized, for the first time, exactly how precious Poe considered him. Groaning, he turned his head, finding Poe’s mouth. “That was beautiful.”


	21. "Why can't I ever take a bubble bath in peace?"

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> CW: Alcohol

Tysephine asked for #41 from the funny prompts list, "Why can't I ever take a bubble bath in peace?"

Modern corporate AU of some kind.

* * *

 

Poe slammed the door of his condo, because, well, he owned the place, and he could do that if he wanted. He could do whatever he wanted. And right now, he wanted to yank off his tie, pour a himself a finger or two of whiskey, and indulge in a fucking bubble bath. _Because why the fuck not?_

The bath bomb had been a gift from his cousin Shari for Christmas. “You work too hard, Poe. I know you’re not going to take a vacation, so at least allow yourself a mini-vacation.”

Damn right he worked hard, he thought, as he poured out the whiskey and took a sip, letting the warmth slide through him. He worked hard, and what happened?  It all went down the tube anyway. _Fucking merger. Fucking First Order._

The tie landed by the liquor cabinet.  His shoes, kicked off in the hallway.  He managed to get his shirt near the hamper, anyway, but pants and boxers ended up on the bathroom floor. He cranked the water on, watched the tub fill, then took out the bomb and dropped it in. Experimentally he sniffed the air - it smelled like vanilla and oatmeal. _Fine._ If he got laid off tomorrow, at least he could do it smelling like a fucking breakfast food.

He heard his phone ring from where he’d tossed it on the bed, but ignored it, turning off the water and dipping a toe in experimentally, then submerging himself fully.

He felt kind of like soup. Pleasant soup. Like he was maybe slowly cooking to death, but at least he’d be going out in the best way possible. He flexed his fingers and toes, laid his head on the rim, and closed his eyes, willing himself to relax. Then immediately jumped when his cell phone started going off again.

It was probably that First Order sycophant they’d sent over to close the deal. What had his name been? _Finn? Yeah, Finn._ Like he could fucking forget Finn. Poe’s lip curled. _Fucking corporate suit mindless - hot, sexy - Finn._ The Finn that he’d just wanted to bend over that conference table and- _Fucking shut up, brain._

The water was starting to cool down, but Poe didn’t want to get up. If he got up, he’d have to face reality. There was no way First Order was keeping him around after he’d fought the merger so hard. When was the last time he’d updated his resume? His hands made fists under the water, and he unclenched them, then ran them over his carefully maintained fade, wishing he still had curls to tug on. Curls were useful, but corporate hadn’t thought they were professional.

His doorbell ringing several times followed by a frantic knocking had Poe cussing out loud. When the knocking came back after a minute, Poe resigned himself, pissed all over again at having to get out of the bath despite the fact that the water was now tepid at best. He didn’t bother toweling off, just grabbed the black silk robe, donning it and tying it around his waist loosely. Maybe whoever was at the door would get uncomfortable at Poe’s lack of dress and leave him alone.

Before he had even opened the door, he was grumbling, “Why can I ever take a bubble bath in peace?” despite the fact that this was the first one he’d ever taken. _Might as well twist the knife a bit._ “What do you-” Finn stood on the other side of the doorway, taking in Poe’s state with wide eyes.   _Wide, appreciative eyes?_ Poe wrapped the robe a little tighter. Maybe he was in his mid-thirties and self-conscious. Maybe he’d been too focused on the job recently to hit the gym. Maybe he was comparing himself to this 20-something Adonis and finding himself wanting. Maybe he’d just like to die now. _Maybe._

Poe cleared his throat, arms wrapped around his middle. “What do you want?”

Finn looked down at his shoes, and he was literally scuffling them along the floor, sheepishly. Poe wanted to roll his eyes. “Poe, I’m sor-”

“Did the First Order send their lap boy to lay me off outside of work? What, they’re too afraid to see me tomorrow? At least look me in the eyes when you do it.”

When Finn’s eyes met his, though, it wasn’t shame, but the light of anger flashing there. “I am _not_ First Order’s lap boy. Maybe if you’d just opened your eyes and realized you were going down with a sinking ship, you wouldn’t have had to fight so hard.”

“Does loyalty count for nothing these days?”

Finn laughed bitterly. “Loyalty?  In our line of work? And Rey tells me _I’m_ idealistic.”

Poe narrowed his eyes. “Why are you here, ruining my night?”

Before Finn could answer, Poe saw one of his neighbors surreptitiously open and close a curtain. Ever mindful of not wanting to play into gay stereotypes, and “drama” on his doorstep definitely qualified, Poe stepped back and gestured into his living space. “You better come in.”

Poe led Finn to his living room, kicking the tie under the couch. “Want something to drink?” He poured himself another small bit of whiskey, his other glass forgotten in the bathroom.

“Uh, sure,” Finn replied, sitting on the couch, looking like he hadn’t expected to make it this far.

Poe handed him his drink, then tried to arrange himself on the couch so that he could maintain modesty. “So, why are you here, ruining my night?”

Finn took a sip of the whiskey, rolled it in his mouth, savoring it, before swallowing. And fuck if that wasn’t one of the hottest things Poe had seen. The thought that he’d like to taste how the whiskey tasted on Finn flashed through Poe’s mind. _Keep it together, brain._ “I have a proposition for you.” Brain: _you’re fucked._ “A way to go into your firm tomorrow with your head held high, and quit before those bastards have a chance to fire you.”

“Uh, you’re one of those bastards.”

Finn smirked. “I’m sure you were going to add, “no offense”, right?” It pulled a small smile out of Poe. “I quit earlier today. The truth is, I’ve been looking to quit for awhile, because my friends and I have been trying to pull together enough resources to get our own thing going.”

Poe narrowed his eyes. He was curious despite himself. “What kind of a thing?”

“A non-profit. We’re looking to work with inner-city orphans to provide mentoring and internships, hopefully scholarships to higher education.”

“Sounds very altruistic,” Poe said genuinely. He raised his glass in salute before taking a sip.

“My friend Rey and I, we were both- we didn’t have that type of opportunity.  We’d like to provide it for others. We could use the help of someone like you.”

Poe thought of his mother, a teacher longer than Poe had been alive. “It’d make my mom proud of me.”

“It’d be a pay cut, obviously.”

“You’re trying to sell me on it, don’t bring up the negatives,” Poe said. He sat back a bit, taking in Finn’s stiff posture. “But since we’re onto the negatives, let me tell you, I don’t think it’d be a good idea.”

“Why?”

“Because I want very badly to fuck you, and have you fuck me, and that’s not the kind of thing that makes for a working office environment.”

Finn’s glass jerked in his hand. “ _Jesus,_ Poe.”

Poe got up, restless now. “Sorry. Really. I’m sorry. It’s just… it’s been in my mind since the first time I saw you, how could it not, you’re gorgeous, so I wanted to lay it out there. And that’s why I say it’s not the kind of thing that makes for a working office environment. I don’t want to be a sexual harasser.” He turned away from Finn, swirling his whiskey before draining the rest of the glass.

“I think that, technically, I’d be your boss, so I’d be the sexual harasser.” Finn’s voice was tentative, and in his ear, and Poe realized he’d gotten up from the couch and snuck up on him. “Or we could make Rey be the boss, then we’d be equal.” Finn’s hand touched his hip slowly, causing the black silk to slide over Poe’s skin.

Poe turned slowly to face Finn. “So you’re saying-”

“Fuck me. Or let me fuck you. I don’t care either. But Jesus Christ, you smell divine, Poe. Like-” Finn broke off to lean in, sniff along Poe’s exposed collarbone, place a little lick there. “Like Christmas morning.”

Poe’s breath was shaky. “You keep using lines like that on me, buddy, I’ll make it worth your while.” When Finn’s head dipped again, nuzzling his throat, Poe let out a little moan, but gently pushed on Finn’s shoulders until Finn was a step back and staring at him with hungry eyes. “Okay, so we’ve got this thing,” Poe said, gesturing between them, “but we need to deal with the business first. I should…I should go put on actual clothes, and you should call up this Rey, and whomever else you have involved with this non-profit, and we’ll meet for a late dinner to discuss everything.”

Finn nodded, smiling, then pulled Poe close for one last kiss. “You’re right, of course. But I’ll be sad to see this little thing go,” Finn replied as he ran his hands down the silk covering Poe’s back.

Poe winked at Finn as he pulled out of his arms. “I’m betting you’ll get to see it again.”


	22. "I'm Sorry" Kiss - part of the "Wait a minute, are you jealous?" 'verse

finnhoedameron asked for #6 an "I'm sorry" kiss off of [this list.](http://animalasaysrauer.tumblr.com/post/143737727321/send-me-a-number-and-a-pairing-and-ill-do-a)

This one's a little short. It's part 3 of the same Finn/Poe that are in Chapters 14 and 17.

* * *

He’d kriffed up, and he knew it. Knew it the minute he’d seen the shock and hurt on Finn’s face, before Finn turned expertly on his heel and walked away.  Knew it when Jessika punched him on the arm, though he disregarded the pain.

“You better fix this, asshole.”

“I know. I will.”

Poe set down the wrench, but Finn had already stalked out of the hangar.  Poe had a good idea that he was heading for his quarters, but made a quick detour before knocking on Finn’s door.

Poe gave Finn credit - he answered. His arms were crossed over his chest and he was glaring hard, but he answered. A look of confusion crossed over his face when he saw the flowers Poe held in his hands.

“I’m sorry. I’m a nerfherder. The absolute worst. Can we talk about it?”

Finn’s gaze was stony. “What are the flowers for?”

Poe thrust them out, feeling about as smooth as a 12 year old. “For you. Sometimes, when people say something stupid to someone else, they apologize with presents.”

Finn tentatively accepted the bright blue blossoms, but narrowed his eyes at Poe. “I’m still angry.”

“You have every right to be, Finn. Stars, I’m so sorry. I wasn’t thinking, and I don’t think of you like that, sometimes I forget that you were a Stormtrooper.”

Finn took a step back, letting Poe enter his room. He kept clutching the flowers in his hand. “So the joke you told, it wasn’t about me.”

“No! No.” Poe paced in the small space. “I don’t think you’re an idiot, of course.” He ran his hands through his hair, tugging until pieces were sticking straight out.

Finn watched him pace for a minute, before sitting on his bed. He patted the space beside him. Poe scrambled to sit, then was surprised when Finn took one of his hands. “You hurt me, Poe.”

Poe squeezed his hand. “I know. I’m sorry.”

“It’s a dangerous prospect, isn’t it? Becoming friends, becoming more. I told you to not let me hurt you. I didn’t think about the opposite happening.”

Finn sounded detached, like he did back when he first woke up and was sorting through all of his emotions. Poe hung his head. “I’m so sorry, honey. I’ll say it as many times as you want.”

Finn tipped up Poe’s chin so they were eye to eye. “I don’t want you, or anyone, to forget what I was. Because it’s part of me, an important part of me. Do you understand, Poe?”

“I do.”

Finn’s lips tipped up in just the tiniest smile. “Is this how you felt when you thought I chose Rey?”

“I don’t know, maybe. That was just a misunderstanding, though. This was me kriffing up.” Poe had to look away.

Finn stayed silent for a bit. Then: “I like the flowers. I saw some like these our first time in the woods.”

“Blue looks good on you,” Poe mumbled.

Finn let out a surprised laugh. “When have you seen me in blue?” He gestured down to his black and brown outfit.

Poe looked up, a slow smile beginning on his face. “You’d look good in blue. There’s this shirt I have…I may have thought about how you’d look in it. How you’d fill it out.”

Finn grinned. “Oh really?” He leaned closer to Poe.

“Yeah.” Poe closed the gap, lifting a hand to Finn’s head to get the correct angle before taking his mouth. Parting, Poe rested his forehead on Finn’s. “I’m sorry, Finn.”

Finn gave him that partial smile again. “I know.”


	23. Kink List - Come Marking

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Explicit Smut Below!! :D

Stardusteddameron asked for #48 off of [the kinks prompts](http://animalasaysrauer.tumblr.com/post/144411678171/a-list-of-69-kinks) \- come marking.

* * *

“Oh, stars, Finn, kriff that feels good.”

The first time it happened, it was an accident. Finn wasn’t expecting to love it so much.

Poe was laying back on their bunk, head thrown back in ecstasy, pumping into Finn’s hand. Finn ran his thumb along the crease, and it was the final blow - Poe groaned, arching his back, and shooting come all over his stomach and Finn’s hand. And something in Finn’s mind clicked in that moment, seeing the pearly white substance against his dark skin, and suddenly he was coming in his pants, biting off a shout and collapsing on the bunk beside Poe. Absently, he licked at the come on his hand, which drew a raised eyebrow from Poe. “You’re the sexiest motherkriffer I’ve ever met, Finn.”

Finn looked down at his hand. “And I’m all yours.”

“Thank the stars,” Poe murmured, wrapping his arms around Finn.

* * *

 

He couldn’t stop thinking about it when they were by themselves. That the essence of Poe had splashed on him, marking him, claiming Finn as his, even if that hadn’t been Poe’s intent.

He wanted it again. He wasn’t quite sure if he should tell Poe that, so he didn’t.

* * *

 

“You don’t have to, buddy. I’m perfectly willing to- oh!” Poe’s mouth made a perfect O shape as Finn deftly released his cock from his pants and stroked it. “Oh, Finn-”

Finn took Poe into his mouth, hollowing out his cheeks for suction, then pressing deeper, swallowing Poe down. Above him, Poe was making choking sounds, like he wasn’t quite sure how they’d gotten from the mess hall 10 minutes ago to this position.

When he felt Poe’s thrusts become erratic, he pulled Poe out with a wet popping noise and used the moisture to pump Poe. “Kriff, Finn, I’m going to come!” Poe warned, but Finn was deliberately jacking Poe onto his face. Poe moaned, and a strip of come painted across Finn’s cheek and across his lips. When he felt another rope along his neck, Finn rutted against the bed and came.

Poe eyed the ecstatic look on Finn’s face with interest before pulling him up for a deep kiss.

* * *

 

Poe was tracing patterns along Finn’s bare chest, unwilling to fall asleep quite yet. “Finn, you know you can be honest with me, right?”

Finn shot Poe a confused look. “Yeah, do you think I’ve lied to you?”

Poe propped himself up on his elbow and leaned over to brush his lips across Finn’s. “Withheld a truth, maybe.”

Finn looked hurt. “I know I lied to Rey when we first met but-”

Poe cut him off with a kiss. “Shhh. No, baby, I mean, you can be totally truthful about what you want in bed. What you want from me.”

“I don’t know what you mean.” Finn’s brow furrowed, and Poe took a hand and smoothed out the wrinkles.

“I mean, what if, tonight, you just lay back, and I ride you, and you fuck me so hard, I can’t help but come in big, long stripes all over your stomach.”

Finn’s eyes shuddered shut. “Is it weird that I like that? That the thought of you marking me makes me harder than I thought possible?”

Poe cupped Finn’s cheek, rubbing his thumb across the short stubble there. “Baby, I love that you love it so much. And since we’re being honest, the fact that you want to be ‘marked’ by me - I’ve never thought of it that way, but kriff, that’s hot.”

Finn was running one hand down Poe’s body, gripping his thigh and pulling him over into a straddle. No words now - just Finn’s lust-darkened eyes on his as he prepared himself to take Finn in. And when he was seated fully, just rocking back and forth, eye closed and head thrown back, he felt Finn take his cock in his hand and begin to pull.

He knew he was going to come soon, and leaned over, groaning at the new position Finn’s cock took inside him. Hands holding Finn’s head, he locked eyes with his lover. “You’re mine. You’re mine and everyone will know it. They’ll be able to smell it on you. Smell me on you.” Poe felt Finn’s hips jerk, hitting Poe’s prostate just right, and it was too much, and he was doing as he’d promised, spilling all over Finn’s bare stomach. At the first touch of the come, Poe felt Finn shoot inside him, his eyes squeezing shut and Poe’s name a prayer, a litany.

“Mine,” Poe murmured into Finn’s neck, and he wasn’t sure where the fierce possessiveness came from, except that it was born out of Finn’s love.

 


	24. “Our first date is a picnic on a beach under the stars? Have you swallowed a romance novel? Do I need to call a doctor?”

xekytumbles asked for #55 from [this list](http://animalasaysrauer.tumblr.com/post/144078113601/send-me-a-pairing-and-a-number-and-ill-write-you) is “Our first date is a picnic on a beach under the stars? Have you swallowed a romance novel? Do I need to call a doctor?” 

This is a followup to the Corporate AU I started in chapter 21 (Why can't I take a bubble bath in peace?) that ~~you all~~ a few of you asked for. This Finn and Poe are rapidly becoming my second-favorite Finn and Poe (After Organa’s Organics’ Finn and Poe, of course.)

* * *

 

Finn knew he needed to be paying better attention. This was one of the bigger sales pitches of his life so far, but he couldn’t take his eyes off of Poe. Poe, watching him and Rey with vested interest. Poe, taking notes with his left hand, the slant in his writing pronounced but somehow perfect. Poe, asking questions that Finn was letting Rey answer because he was too caught up in watching Poe, and thinking about what Poe had said earlier. _I want very badly to fuck you._ Jesus. Finn swallowed, then winced when Rey kicked him again, and he hastily caught up, answering Poe’s question.

After awhile, Poe leaned back, and Finn couldn’t help thinking that he knew what Poe looked like underneath that button up as it pulled to accommodate Poe’s stretching arms. Finn licked his lips unconsciously. Poe flashed him a knowing smile. “It’s going to be hard.”

 _Innuendo much?_ “We know. It’s important work.” But Finn smiled back. He’d only known Poe for a scant few weeks, but he was pretty sure he had Poe’s ticket. “It’s probably too hard for you. But we appreciate you listening to our pitch.” To his right, Rey was gaping at him; he braced himself, and yep, there came the hard kick. He just kept smiling, and raised an eyebrow in challenge.

“Stop baiting me, I’m already hooked. It’s going to be hard, but I like it hard.” Poe leaned forward, folding his hands on the tabletop. “I like a challenge.” 

Rey choked a little on her drink, but Finn just smiled again. “Excellent to have you aboard, Mr. Dameron.”

They hashed out the details, the nitty gritty. When they were done and standing in the parking lot, Rey made her goodbyes, assuring Poe she’d be fine walking alone. “She’s a black belt,” Finn informed him, then turned away from the retreating figure of Rey and looked into Poe’s eyes. “So, you like a challenge, huh?”

Poe took a step closer, caging Finn up against Poe’s car. “Are you going to give me one?”

“Definitely.” Finn pulled Poe’s head closer, feeling something like a fever as he took Poe’s mouth, groaning when Poe opened and pushed his tongue alongside Finn’s. Withdrawing a bit, Finn licked Poe’s bottom lip and caught it delicately between his teeth. When he looked back into Poe’s eyes, they were dark and lust-filled. 

“So now that we have business out of the way, your place or mine?” Poe leaned in for another kiss, but Finn stopped him with a finger on Poe’s lips. 

“Not so fast,” Finn purred. “It just so happens that I like a challenge too.” He tilted his head, breathing in Poe’s scent - vanilla and something he couldn’t quite identify - before placing a kiss under his ear. Poe shivered. “I’m going to woo you, Mr. Dameron.”

“Woo me?” Poe replied a little incredulously. “I don’t know if you noticed, but I’m already ready and willing. No wooing required.” Poe gave a little laugh and sought Finn’s lips out again, but again Finn pulled away.

“You’re ready to fuck me, I know. Somehow I get the idea that you’ve done a lot of fucking in your time. But wooing? I don’t think so.” Finn’s lips were moments away from Poe’s. “I’m going to give you stars.” A sweep of lips. “A midnight picnic on the beach.” His lips traveled along Poe’s jaw. “Just you and me and a blanket, looking out into the universe. You deserve to be wooed, Poe. You deserve to let someone in.” He felt Poe tense, and break away.

“Our first date is a picnic on a beach under the stars? Have you swallowed a romance novel? Do I need to call a doctor?” Poe ran a hand over his hair, a nervous habit Finn had noticed during the negotiations with First Order.

Finn knew he’d pushed Poe. He wasn’t sorry. “Too much of a challenge? Well, I guess we can just go back to your place and fuck then.” Finn shrugged his shoulders and started to move to the passenger side of the car.

Poe bit his lip. “I- Wait.” His arm reached out, caught Finn’s. Finn allowed himself to be pulled back into Poe’s embrace. “Where the fuck are you going to find  stars in New York City? And Coney Island’s going to be cold as hell this time of year.”

Finn arched a brow. “Are you saying you’ll let me woo you?”

Poe looked like he was on the verge of rolling his eyes, yet at the same time, Finn detected keen interest, and even a tinge of vulnerability. “Yes,” he replied softly.

“I promise, when you fuck me, it’ll be all the sweeter.” Finn swept his lips across Poe’s once more, then pulled away, heading for his car. “See you soon, Poe.” He turned, and knew without looking that Poe was watching him walk away.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So basically this Finn dared Poe to date him and I love it so much.


	25. "We can never be together" Kiss

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> E! Quickie smut (both in the story and how I wrote it. :) )

@beautifullights1 asked for #25 [from this list.](http://animalasaysrauer.tumblr.com/post/143737727321/send-me-a-number-and-a-pairing-and-ill-do-a)

Another day, another modern AU.  This one's set in the political world. No major age gap between Finn and Poe, and they're both about early/mid 20s, earning-their-masters-degrees type age.

* * *

The thing was, it wasn’t as if they didn’t know exactly who they were when they met. Maybe if they’d just met on the street, made a mistake, they could laugh it off, forgive themselves, make it more. But the thing was, they knew they shouldn’t be doing it, and it somehow made it hotter. They both knew that if the press found out, there would be no stopping the scandal. But the sparks had flown the first time they’d locked eyes across the table at a state dinner; as the sons of rival senators of the same state, they were expected to have a friendly rivalry. To be making excuses to fuck each other senseless? No, that would definitely piss off Finn’s father’s party, and Poe’s father wouldn’t take kindly to all of the press. Poe may be out, but he’d been ordered to be discrete about it - be a ‘good gay.’ It would help his father maintain the moderate votes he needed if Poe kept his ‘lifestyle’ quiet, as the PR maven - who always came off as slightly homophobic when she lectured Poe on image - liked to repeat nonstop.

They knew what they were getting into.  This wasn’t some Romeo and Juliet, star-crossed lovers bullshit. This was fulfilling a basic need with someone who was guaranteed not to screen shot the dick pics and send them to TMZ. Maybe the only someone in their only tiny shared universe.

“We’ve got to stop doing this,” Poe said as he shoved Finn up against the bathroom stall door. 

“Shut up.” Finn pulled Poe to him with his tie, crushing their mouths together, and the pleasure-pain caused Poe to moan. “You’re wasting our precious time with talk.”

“My apologies.” Poe sat down on the edge of the toilet and unzipped Finn’s suit pants, untucking his shirt. When he had Finn free, he drank in the sight for a moment. The perfectly put together Finn that had walked into this bathroom a few minutes ago was now disheveled, but fully clothed except for his proud, fully erect cock. Poe felt twin feelings of appreciation - his mouth was watering - and disappointment - their circumstances meant he’d never actually seen Finn without his shirt off. In the paparazzi photos from the senator’s vacation to Hawaii, yeah. But up close and in real life? Never.

Finn took a step closer to Poe, and his cock swayed before Poe’s face. Greedily, Poe reached out, wrapping both hands around it as Finn groaned. “Fuck, Poe.”

“Just wait,” Poe promised with a growl, lowering his mouth over the tip. Finn groaned again and braced an arm on the side of the stall, his other hand weaving their way through Poe’s trademark curls. He didn’t push down, though Poe knew he probably wanted to. As Poe used his tongue to map Finn’s dick, he released one hand and brought it up to Finn’s hand in his hair, pushing down on the hand, encouraging Finn to take a more active role. 

Finn growled as he took the hint, wrapping his fingers into Poe’s curls and forcing Poe’s head down farther. “You want it all tonight, huh Poe?” Poe moaned around Finn’s cock in response. He took a deep breath and prepared to relax his throat, swallowing the head. “Such a good cock sucker, Poe,” Finn said, when he was all the way in and Poe’s nose was being tickled by pubic hair. Poe closed his eyes and hummed, causing Finn to make a choking sound above him. There it was: the repeat of “Fuck, fuck, fuck-” that meant Finn was about to come. Poe pulled back some, letting Finn’s come fill his mouth before he swallowed. Finn slumped against the side of the stall as he withdrew from Poe’s mouth. “Fuck.”

Poe grinned as Finn fumbled to pull him up, draw him close and press their mouths together. He moaned when Finn swept his tongue inside Poe’s mouth, eager to taste himself. He wasn’t sure he’d ever get enough of this, of this sexy man, of the forbidden trysts. Finn sunk to his knees in front of Poe, and Poe knew it wasn’t going to take much. Finn didn’t have the deep-throating practice Poe did - _yet,_ Poe thought fleetingly - but he was earnest, and he had amazing hands. It wasn’t long before Poe was groaning into Finn’s mouth. “Now who’s a good little cocksucker?”

Finn was placing one more lick around Poe’s cockhead when they heard a knock on the door, and their lookout, one of Finn’s father’s media team, Rey, entered the bathroom. She’d served as their lookout since almost the beginning of this idiotic fling. “You guys need to get back. The speeches are starting soon, you’ll be missed.”

“Thanks, Rey,” Finn muttered as Poe helped him to his feet, and they straightened each other’s clothing. After realigning Poe’s tie, Finn leaned in for a quick kiss. “Are you coming to the Winter Gala?”

“As long as I’m not neck deep in undergrad exams to grade.” Poe efficiently tucked Finn’s shirt back in and redid the suit pants. He looked up at Finn’s face, and saw he was looking away, a sad expression on his face. Poe cupped Finn’s cheek and brought his eyes back to Poe’s. “Hey, I’ll try, okay?”

Finn shrugged it off. “Yeah, sure. I hope you can make it.”

 _Just fucking. This’ll never work,_ Poe told himself even as he brought his other hand up to cup Finn’s head and place a sweet kiss on his lips.

“Finn!” Rey yelled, sounding annoyed. 

“You go first. I’ll come in a little bit,” Poe murmured. 

They both left the stall, and Poe watched Finn go, then turned to stare at himself in the mirror. _Just fucking._ _Right._


	26. "Is this a kidnapping?"

Requested by grainofinfinity and youandthemountains: #13 from [this list](http://animalasaysrauer.tumblr.com/post/143928878821/fic-prompts) which is “Is this a kidnapping?”. Feel free to prompt me!

Rated T for some violence.

* * *

“Mr. Dameron.” The black man nodded at him, holding open the door to the town car.

Poe noticed three things right away: the man was cute, filling out the suit in all the right places, the man was nervous (the way his eyes kept darting to and from Poe’s was all the proof Poe needed), and - “You must be new. Poe Dameron.” Poe extended his hand, and the man took it, a surprised look on his face.

“Finn, sir.” The driver’s palm was sweaty, but he had a solid shake and callused hands.

Poe flashed him a smile and slid in to the back of the car, pulling out his cell phone to start going through his inbox.

“Where to, Mr. Dameron, sir?”

“The downtown office, thanks, Finn,” he answered distractedly. He’d come across an email about the military contract, something that should have been sent to him priority to be taken care of immediately. Hux from First Order had been spotted wining and dining the Congressman. He needed to get on this right away, especially since the annual board meeting was that afternoon.

Between calls to his assistant and the Pentagon, Poe didn’t notice they were headed away from LA for twenty minutes. _Shit._ He should have been paying better attention. He sighed internally. It wasn’t the first time someone had tried to kidnap him - as the heir to the Dameron fortune, Kes and Shara had made sure Poe had the ability to defend himself since after the first attempt when he was 8. “Is this a kidnapping?” he drawled, disdain dripping from his voice. “I really didn’t need this today.”

He saw Finn lick his lips nervously and glance back at him in the rear view mirror. “You and me both, sir,” Finn answered.

“Listen, this is great and all, but you haven’t even done the thing properly. I mean, I still have my cell phone. I can call for help right now. Plus you have no idea if I have weapons on me - spoiler alert, I do - and I’m alone back here so I can easily just roll out of the car. Zero out of ten, would not recommend as kidnapper. No wait, I’ll give you credit for somehow getting your driver’s ID past my security. Two out of ten, but that’s my final offer.”

“No, wait, please don’t call anyone,” Finn said, desperation in his voice.

It took Poe aback, that desperation. But he kept his voice as dry as the desert they were now speeding through to respond. “I’m waiting.” He felt the car slow down, pull off on a nondescript dirt road. When it stopped, he calmly got out of the car, walked a short distance away from it, and pulled his gun from the shoulder holster under his suit coat. Pointing it at Finn as he emerged from the car, Poe used his other hand to dial his assistant. He wasn’t sure why he’d let Finn have this much leeway, but there’d been something in his voice…

“I don’t think you need to come any closer,” Poe said when Finn tried to take a step toward him. Finn held his spot, hands up in a gesture of peace. “Tell me why I shouldn’t dial this phone right now.”

One of Finn’s hands lowered. “Can I get something from my pocket?”

“Slowly,” Poe answered, nodding.

Finn retrieved a cell phone from his pocket and held it out so Poe could look at it. He took a step closer, seeing a photo of little girl - Poe was bad with guessing age, but maybe 2nd or 3rd grade? - with a large bruise on her face. As he looked at her eyes, he slowly realized they reflected the driver’s. “Is she yours?”

“Yes.” Finn’s breath came out on a sob. “The people who sent me here, they took her, too. If I do my job, then she’ll be safe. She’ll be okay. I need her to be okay, Mr. Dameron.”

“Hey, this is a kidnapping, I think you can call me Poe.” He took another step closer, lowering the gun a little. Every instinct he had was saying to trust this man.

Finn shook his head, obviously trying to hold back tears and panic. “It’s not a kidnapping. I mean, it was supposed to be, but…  I know your reputation. You’ve survived over a dozen kidnapping attempts before…”

“You knew you wouldn’t be successful.” Finn shook his head. “You need my help.”

“I need your help. Poe.” He added the name tentatively. “I need to get my baby back. I don’t have anything to offer you, I - I’m just a security guard, for god’s sake. Everything I make goes back into my baby girl’s life.” Poe realized that thought must have been the final straw for Finn, who collapsed to his knees and put his hands over her face. Poe saw his shoulders shake.

Hastily, he reholstered his gun and put his phone away. “Hey- hey- we can do this, okay?” He helped Finn up, then did something that went against all of his training - he pulled Finn into a tight hug, allowing the would-be kidnapper access to his gun, his cell phone, and making himself vulnerable to attack. It was a test, and Finn passed with flying colors, leaning into Poe a bit, still trembling. “We’re going to save your daughter, okay?” Poe allowed himself a brief rub of Finn’s back, trying not to notice the ridges of muscles under the suit. _Priorities, Dameron.  
_

Finn pulled back, obviously embarrassed. “I - I don’t know how to thank you, Poe.”

“I’d have to be a monster not to help.”

“And you're not a monster.” Finn smiled tentatively.

Poe grinned back. “No. I’m a sarcastic ass, but I’m not a monster. Now, we need to talk.  Preferably not in this heat. And I’m going to need a disguise. I know it’s been a couple of months since I was named People’s Sexiest Bachelor, but my face is still pretty recognized.”

“I saw a sign for a truck stop. We could get you a change of clothes and talk there.”

“Perfect.”

* * *

Finn was grinning at him. Poe was thinking he’d like to make the man grin more often. It made his face look like the sun. _Jesus, Dameron. Really not the time._ “What?”

“The baseball hat looks okay, and I’m glad the sweats fit, but that t-shirt is ridiculous.” Finn burst into a little laugh as he looked at the shirt, featuring a possum and the words ‘The Other _Other_ White Meat.’ “Just, Poe Dameron, billionaire, in truck stop gear. I’m having a surreal moment here.”

Poe glanced down at himself. “I don’t know, I think I’m pulling it off. What does Will Smith say? ‘I make this look good.’” Poe readjusted the hat and opened the bag of chips. “Okay, I need you to tell me everything.”

Finn’s smile fell away, and he wrapped his hands around his coffee. “It started two days ago. It’s just me and my baby girl, Kallie. I dropped her off at school, but one of the neighbors walks home with her and her own kids, and looks after her until I get off work. So I go to pick up Kallie at Melinda’s and Melinda looks so surprised to see me. Apparently Kallie’s ‘grandma and grandpa’ came to pick Kallie up after school. They had a note from me that contained our safety word and everything. They were slick, Poe. I can’t fault Melinda. But I meant it when I said it’s just me and Kallie. Her mama’s parents are gone, my parents are gone. It’s just us.”

“Hey.” Poe reached across the table and brushed one of Finn’s hands lightly. “You sound like you’re doing a great job. You couldn’t have expected this.”

Finn looked up, into Poe’s eyes. “Thank you. I’ve been trying my best with Kallie. We lost her mama in childbirth. She - Kallie - was an accident. Best damn accident of my life.” Finn pushed out a shuddery breath, then continued. “So I’m just starting to panic, dial 911, when I get the call. They’ve got my baby, I can hear her in the background. They tell me not to contact anyone or they’ll kill her. They give me all of the instructions about where I’m supposed to pick up the town car, how to get through your security. I’m not stupid, Poe.”

Poe’s brow furrowed. “I didn’t think you were.”

“I mean, I’m not stupid, and _they_ think I am. It was so obviously a lose-lose situation for me. For all of the reasons you pointed out. So-”

“So why are they trying to eliminate you?  Or, on the off chance you managed to overpower me, eliminate me? Who is this about, you or me?”

“I’m not sure, Poe. I keep wracking my brain - what did I see? What do I know? And I can’t think of anything. After the conversation, they sent me the photo of Kallie I showed you, and I swear to God, when I find out who dared to touch my baby girl-”

“I’ll hold his arms.”

Finn looked up into his eyes again, surprise showing there. “Don’t take this the wrong way. I’m extremely grateful. But why are you helping me?”

“Listen, like you said, I’ve survived over a dozen kidnapping attempts. Actually, the press doesn’t know about at least five. But still, I know what your daughter feels like right now. And no one should have to feel that scared.”

This time Finn reached across the table, grabbing one of Poe’s hands and squeezing. Poe smiled a little, then got serious again. “Okay, what did they tell you to do with me? Ransom? Assassination?”

“I was supposed to keep you occupied, out of contact, until tomorrow morning.”

“So I’d miss the board meeting,” Poe mused. “Where do you work security?”

“First Order, the downtown headquarters.”

Poe kept himself from doing a spit take with his coffee, but just barely. “So, you just happen to be a security guard at my number one rival’s headquarters.”

Finn’s eyes widened and he held up his hands again. “Poe, I promise, I’m not part of this plan, or, I mean, I’m not a _willing_ part of this plan. I’m not-”

“Whoa, buddy, it’s okay. I don’t think that. I trust you.”

Finn looked at him incredulously. “You do?  Why?”

Poe shrugged. “Must be Stockholm Syndrome.”

“Stockhol- what? Oh,” Finn said as the phrase clicked in his brain and he looked away from Poe, embarrassed.

“Don’t worry, no homo. Well, I mean, yes homo. But I’m not hitting on you. Although I could because you really fill out that suit well.” As Poe had intended, Finn laughed, some of the tension easing from his face. “How are you supposed to get your girl back, once you’re done with the job?”

“They said they’d phone back with instructions tomorrow morning, if everything went well.”

“I wonder if we can get them to push the timeline up a bit. We need to figure out where she’s being held. It’s not like they’d hold a little girl hostage at First Order headquarters, right?”

Finn pulled out his phone, brought up the picture of Kallie again. With a pained look, he handed it over to Poe. “Do you recognize anything in this picture? I’ve looked at it too much.”

Poe peered at the photo, then tapped to zoom in on something above the girl’s head. “Finn,” he said, excitement in his voice. “I’ve seen this before. I’ve been in this room. It’s their old headquarters. The one they abandoned for the shiny new tower downtown. And it’s not that far from here.” Poe’s eyes met Finn’s over the phone. “But I need to call in some backup - not the police, I promise.”

Finn nodded, excitement creeping onto his face.

* * *

Finn and Poe watched as the small woman got off of the motorcycle. “This is backup?”

Poe smirked. “Believe me, she taught me everything I know. She could kick your ass before you even knew what was happening.” As she approached, the woman took off her helmet and goggles, shaking her brown braids out. “Rey, this is Finn. Finn, Rey.”

Rey eyed Poe’s possum shirt and shook her head. “What the hell are you wearing? Got yourself in another scrap, eh, Dameron?” she said as she shook hands with Finn.

“I find it so hard to resist a pretty set of eyes, you know that, Rey.” Finn looked at him, startled, and Poe shrugged. “Listen, I don’t mean to make you uncomfortable. I just figured after earlier that you’re the type of het that wouldn’t punch me in the face for my smart mouth.”

“You’re not. Not making me uncomfortable.” Then Finn smiled, just a little. “And I’m not het.”

Poe’s eyebrows raised in interest, and Rey broke in. “Listen, this all very adorable, really, I might puke rainbows. But someone bring me up to speed.”

* * *

They had to approach the building on foot, in silence. Rey brought backup not just in the form of herself, but gear and weapons for Poe and Finn. The key to the op was silence. They couldn’t set off any alarms, alert any guards, or Kallie was as good as dead. When they came across the first guard, Rey leapt on his back and pressed a syringe into his neck before Poe or Finn could react.  Poe rushed forward to help her ease the man down to the ground, before taking his radio and handcuffing his hands behind his back. “Told you,” Poe muttered at Finn’s surprised face.

“Listen,” Rey whispered. “I’m going to continue around the perimeter. You two, work your way inside. Get your girl, okay, Finn?”

“Stay safe,” Poe whispered back, and she nodded before moving off in the bright morning sun.

Between the two of them, Finn and Poe managed to subdue two more guards before they came across a room with four guards. As they watched, a man in an all black suit swept into the guard’s area from another room. “Kylo Ren, captain sleezeball,” Poe whispered into Finn’s ear. “Ten bucks says he’s the one who lost his temper on Kallie.” Beside him, Finn’s fists clenched. “Don’t worry buddy, you’ll get your chance.”

“We need a distraction,” Finn whispered back.

As if reading their minds, a large boom echoed through the building, as something on the other side exploded.

“Don’t just stand there, see what that was,” Ren ordered, sending the four guards away.

“Rey-”

“I’m sure she’s alright,” Poe said, biting his lip and hoping it was true. “Now’s our best chance. Bullets might go through the wall and hit Kallie. We need to take him down old school style.” Still, he grabbed his gun, then outlined a short plan for Finn.

Before they broke apart, Finn grabbed Poe’s bicep. “Listen, Poe, if- just- thank you, no matter what happens.”

Poe covered the hand that was on his arm with his own. “We’re going to do this. And then you owe me a dinner date.” Finn rolled his eyes, then nodded.

* * *

“Kylo, good to see you.” Poe walked into the open, gun drawn, catching Ren by surprise.

Ren’s lip curled. “Dameron, rumors of your kidnapping have been greatly exaggerated. And can I just say, your taste in clothing leaves has gone seriously downhill. Still, since you’re here, playing rescue, I really don’t think you’re going to make it in time for your little board meeting, leaving Hux to execute the perfect little coup in your absence. Your board’s not going to like that you skipped out on them, just to party in Vegas. Oh yes, the tabloids have already caught your lookalike partying with a stripper who looks like he belongs in Magic Mike. You disappeared into a hotel with him hours ago and can’t be reached.”

“Well, that’s clever, I suppose. But you didn’t take Finn into account.”

“Who?” Ren laughed. “Oh, the guard. Right. Whatever, plenty more where those come from.” Ren took a step forward. “I don’t think you’re going to shoot me, Dameron. I don’t think you have it in you.”

Poe sneered back. “You couldn’t be more wrong.”

“Oh yeah?” Ren asked with another step forward. “Then why don’t you just do something?”

“Because I promised _him_ first shot,” Poe yelled as Finn tackled Ren from behind, taking them both to the floor. Without a second thought, Poe joined the fray, tugging Ren’s arms behind him, as he’d promised Finn, and letting Finn plant a solid blow across Ren’s face, then another. Poe dropped Ren’s prone body and grabbed Finn’s arms. “Okay, okay, he’s down. Shhhhhh, he’s down.” Poe worked to help Finn unclench his hands. “Let’s get your girl, okay buddy?”

The reminder cleared Finn’s eyes of the last of the bloodlust and he launched to his feet, running to the door and pushing on it. “Kallie?  Kallie, honey, it’s Daddy.”

From inside, Poe heard a muffled, “Daddy?”

“It’s locked, baby, but I’ll be inside in a second. Just give me a second.” Frantically, Finn looked at Poe.

 Poe assessed the door and nodded. “Tell her to stand away from the door.”

Finn nodded. “Honey, I need you to stand away from the door. Okay? Are you away?”

“Yeah, Daddy.” Poe heard tears creeping into the girl’s voice.

Poe centered himself in front of the door, taking in a deep breath, then placed a well-aimed kick beside the knob to pop the door open. Finn looked at him, eyes wide. “Jesus Christ, Poe.”

He smiled a little. “You really wouldn’t have stood a chance against me.”

“Daddy!” Kallie came running out and Finn crouched to catch her in his arms.

“Okay, we are definitely calling 911 now,” Poe said, turning away to give them privacy. _Now that she’s safe._

* * *

The news that Poe Dameron, billionaire, had broken up a child kidnapping plot by himself (Rey had checked in, then rushed away before the cops came, preferring not to get tangled in all of that mess) hit the airwaves just as Hux was making his play at the board meeting. He might have succeeded, but it didn’t help his case when two uniforms came in and arrested him.

Back at the site, about twenty people were hovering around Poe, tending his cuts and making sure he was okay. Poe wanted to flit them away like the gnats they were, and was just preparing to yell, when the cloud of gnats parted for Finn and Kallie. The men stared at each other for a long silent moment.

To their surprise, it was Kallie who spoke  first. “Thank you for saving me, Mr. Dam’ron.”

Poe crouched to her level, bringing a hand up to wipe a stray tear off of her cheek. “You’re welcome, Kallie.” Kallie threw her arms around his neck, and Poe’s eyes went wide, meeting Finn’s. “Don’t forget that your brave Daddy helped.”

She nodded, letting go and wrapping her arms around her father’s waist. Finn’s eyes were still on Poe’s. “I owe you.”

It was like Poe forgot that they were surrounded by a cloud of his people. When he looked into Finn’s eyes, everything else fell away. “You don’t owe me anything, Finn.”

“Bullshit,” Finn said, as Kallie gasped and looked up at him. Finn ignored her protest about language and reached out, grabbing Poe’s shirt right on the possum and pulling him closer. When he was close enough, Finn crashed his lips into Poe’s, and their teeth clacked together but then Finn angled and Poe opened his mouth and swept out with his tongue and it was perfect. Around them, the crowd was buzzing, and Poe could feel Kallie tugging on his pant leg, so he pulled back, breath coming fast. He looked down to see what Kallie wanted, but she was just grinning up at them, and Finn used his hand to tip his head back up and cup his cheek. “What are you doing Saturday night?”

 _You, hopefully._ “Nothing that can’t be rescheduled.”

Finn’s thumb was caressing a bandage on his cheek. “Good.”


	27. Poe rates his kidnappings

Follow up to Chapter 26; Beautifullights commented about wanting to see Poe's ratings for his other kidnappings.

What I originally intended to be light and airy ended up being dark and angsty. Oy vey.

* * *

Finn was tracing lines along the skin of his back, lightly and lovingly, and Poe wanted to stretch and purr under his ministrations. They were in Finn’s small house - a compromise since Finn didn’t like Kallie spending the night away from her own bed on a school night. The king-size bed Poe had had delivered a month ago and newly installed security system was his part of the compromise. It allowed them to celebrate their six month anniversary exactly how they wanted - a family dinner with Kallie uninterrupted by the paparazzi, and more adult - albeit quiet - time when Kallie was in bed.

“Thanks again for the security system, Poe. I know Kallie wasn’t taken from our home, but it makes me feel like I have a place I can feel calm, knowing she’s here.” Finn whispered, placing a kiss on Poe’s back, still gleaming with a light sheen of sweat from their recent exertion.

Poe thought about the fact that Finn himself had gotten around Poe’s own security system fairly easily, all things considered. He elected not to voice the fact, though. “Kallie doesn’t deserve to feel like she’s growing up in a cage. That’s what my estate would be to her. A fancy cage, but a cage nonetheless.” It was an uncharacteristically melancholy thing for him to say, and he regretted it immediately. Finn’s finger stopped tracing, and instead Poe felt himself be pulled into Finn’s arms, cradled against his chest. “I’m sorry,” Poe murmured. “I’m not trying to pull the rich-kid ‘woe is me’ card. I’m perfectly aware how charmed my life is.”

“Hey,” Finn soothed, running a hand down Poe’s arm. “Everyone’s life has its highs and lows, right? I mean sure, you’re rolling in money, but you are scarily nonchalant about the possibility someone’s kidnapping you.”

Poe just shrugged. “Hey, at least this one worked out well for me. Look what I got out of it? Stable relationship, with a fine piece of ass, no less.”

Poe felt Finn shake his head, then press a kiss to his neck. “You don’t have to blow it off with me, Poe.”

“I’m not.” Poe sighed. “It’s just…easier to laugh it off, you know?” Poe turned in Finn’s arms, so they were face to face. “Laugh it off, then prepare harder for next time.” Poe’s voice had an edge to it.

Finn’s eyes hardened. “I’ll be there next time,” he vowed.

Poe reached up to caress Finn’s cheek. “Well, you’re certainly less of a liability than the guy I was dating for the Tijuana kidnapping. Really, he fell apart the moment someone waved a gun at us. I ended up having to save him. At least that kidnapping was a total amateur hour. A two out of ten at best.”

The comment got Finn to smile like Poe hoped it would. “Do you rate all of your kidnappings?”

“Well, sure. I mean, after the first few anyway. Have to have something to compare them by. Might as well have the Poe Dameron Scale of Kidnapping, patent pending.”

Finn smirked. “So am I worst, then?”

Poe laid a hand on Finn’s chest, feeling his heartbeat. “Absolutely the worst. Technically you don’t even rate a zero ‘cause you weren’t trying to kidnap me.”

“I’ve never been more pleased to rate a zero, I guess. What was the first time like?” When Poe looked away, Finn rushed to say, “You don’t have to tell me.”

Poe brought his eyes to Finn again, determined. “You have to have the first time talk in any new relationship, right?” Poe winked and Finn rolled his eyes. “So I was six. It was stupid, I thought breaking away from my bodyguard was a game. Someone had obviously noticed this habit because I got snatched in the park, hiding from him. Poor guy. Mom and Dad kept him on after the incident but he refused to be my security anymore.”

“You were _six?_ How long were you gone? What happened? Did they do anything to you? Poe!”

“Hey, babe, I’m fine, right? All here in one piece. They kept me for a few days, my parents paid, I learned a valuable lesson.”

“Poe…”

“Anyway, since that one was pretty much my own fault, that one gets a one.”

“A _successful attempt_ , where you were gone _for a few days,_ only rates a one? _Jesus.”_ Finn wrapped his arms around Poe and pulled him into his chest.

“I can stop. It’s probably not good cuddle-time talk anyway.”

“Tell me.”

“Looking back now, a lot of the attempts are pretty low key. My parents only ended up having to pay one other time. I’m pretty good at spotting a set up when I’m not distracted.”

“I- you- this isn’t what I can expect for Kallie if we stay together, if she eventually becomes…your kid, is it?”

The words sent an unexpected thrill through Poe. He’d never approached a relationship with permanence in mind, but Finn’s suggestion of it didn’t have him running for the hills. Quite the opposite. Poe worked his hands up to Finn’s cheeks and looked Finn straight in the eyes. “I will never, _ever_ let Kallie live the same kind of life I do. I promise, Finn. When my parents died, I worked with a fleet of accountants to tie my money up seven ways to Sunday in case of foul play like kidnapping or murder. I’m very vocal about it. She won’t be used as a pawn again, Finn.” Poe brought Finn’s head toward his, resting his forehead on Finn’s, breathing in sync with him.

After a moment, Finn whispered, “Tell me the best then. The highest rating on the scale.”

Poe let his eyes fall shut. “It’s one of the ones the press doesn’t know about. Or, rather, they do, but not really. It was a few years back.Trusted the wrong person. They held me captive for awhile. Remote cabin in Montana. They were trying to extract secrets about the company.”

“They _tortured_ you?” Poe could hear the distress in Finn’s voice.

“Sure. I’m not valuable just for my money, you know.”

“ _Poe.”_

“I broke away eventually. I knew if the incident got out, it could ruin the company’s chances to get government contracts, so I did what I could to have us take the smallest hit possible, I passed it off as a stint in rehab.” In the silence, Poe knew Finn was connecting dots, putting together a tabloid timeline in his head. “Hey, everyone likes a reformed man. No one likes to do business with a man who can’t keep secrets.”

“How did you escape?”

“I built a suit, blew the cave to hell, and flew out of there. I am Iron Man.”

“ _Poe Dameron.”_

“Okay, okay. I used some of the…methods Rey taught me. Used my height, or lack thereof, to my advantage. Waited for the right moment. They gave it to me in the third week. So they get a nine. Before you ask, I’m reserving my ten.”

Finn rolled away, sitting on the edge of the bed. Poe felt the space between them in his own heart. He pushed himself up and hugged his knees. He watched Finn run a hand over his face, scrubbing at his eyes a bit. 

“Listen, if it’s too much-”

Finn turned, his eyes savage. “Poe, it should be _too much_ for you!”

“I… it is, sometimes,” Poe admitted. He put his head down on his knees.

“Oh God, baby.” Poe felt the mattress move and suddenly he was scooped up against Finn’s warm chest. “You looked so small,” Finn whispered as he ran a hand through Poe’s curls. “I can’t stand the thought of it happening again, Poe. I love you too much.” At Finn’s sudden intake of breath, Poe realized what he’d said.

Poe reached up to gather Finn’s face in his hands again. “I love you, too.”

“I’m keeping you safe, Poe.”

“I feel safe enough right here.” Poe pulled Finn down until they were lying side by side, matching breaths until they fell asleep.


	28. Erotic Tickling

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> SMUT AHEAD

[@epickrisjames](https://tmblr.co/mUC97uB_OfNJiuKuQ_K4c2g) asked me for #67, “erotic tickling”, off of[ the kink list. ](http://animalasaysrauer.tumblr.com/post/144411678171/a-list-of-69-kinks)Prompt me something NSFW if you dare!

* * *

“How long do we have until you have to go on that recon mission?” Finn was lying next to him, arm drifting comfortably over Poe’s stomach. 

Poe pushed himself up onto one elbow and ran his thumb along Finn’s jaw. “About an hour, maybe an hour and a half.” He dipped his head, taking Finn’s mouth, lingering there.

“Not enough time,” Finn complained against his lips.

“No? What exactly did you have in mind?”

Finn’s eyes darted away, his posture shy. “It’s just that I haven’t gotten the chance to really explore you yet.”

Poe’s lips moved to Finn’s forehead. “I’m sorry I was such a blind idiot who wasted so much time.”

Finn’s arm tightened around his waist. “It’s okay, Poe. I just wish we had more time _right now.”_

Poe pulled away, quickly divesting himself of his clothing as Finn laughed. “How about you explore now, and we see how far we get?” Finn was smirking at him. Poe folded his arms behind his head. “I have no secrets from you, babe.”

Finn’s fingers were tentative at first. “It’s so different than with a girl. You’re so … firm.” Finn lingered over Poe’s biceps, squeezing. It killed Poe, but he let the “firm” statement pass without comment. He wanted Finn to feel comfortable.

Finn continued brushing lightly along Poe’s skin, circling one taut nipple and then the other, following his fingers with small kisses. Poe brought a hand down to run over Finn’s short hair, seeking to make some kind of connection of his own.

Finn was tracing along his rib cage when he hit a sensitive spot and Poe jumped, side convulsing as he shuddered out a breath on a cough. 

“What was that?” Finn was looking up at him across Poe’s chest.

Poe knew his cheeks had gone red. “Um, that’s a bit ticklish, there.”

Finn drew his hand across the spot again, and this time Poe couldn’t choke back a moan. Finn got a devilish glint in his eyes. “Are you ticklish anywhere else?”

Poe bit his lip. This was potentially dangerous and devastating knowledge in the hands of Finn. But he couldn’t resist: “Why don’t you find out?”

Finn continued his exploration, slow, deliberate, watching for reactions. He gave Poe’s cock one long lick that had Poe thrusting up before groaning in frustration as Finn moved on. 

At the back of Poe’s knee, Finn found another spot to exploit. Placing a small kiss there, he grinned lasciviously as Poe’s hips rose involuntarily off the bed and he made another strangled sound, halfway between a laugh and a moan.

Finn flicked a glance at the chronometer on the wall. “Looks like time’s up,” he said, pulling away from Poe.

Poe growled and followed him, straddling Finn to the bed. “Not quite yet.” He made quick work of Finn’s pants, sighing in a kind of relief when he’d freed Finn’s cock. He grabbed one of Finn’s hands in his, and guided it down so they were both fisting their cocks together, Poe leaning his head into Finn’s shoulder and sucking a mark there.

Finn brought his other hand down Poe’s side and tickled his stomach again, and Poe groaned, erupting over their fists in several long ropes. He squeezed Finn expertly, and Finn followed, moaning into Poe’s curls when Poe collapsed down onto his chest.

Poe let out a big breath. “Look at that, we even have time to hit the ‘fresher before I have to go.”

Finn swept a hand up Poe’s bare back. “You better come back so I can finish what I started.”

“You don’t call this finished?”

Finn’s grin was a flash on his face. “Next time, I’m going to get you to come without even touching your cock.”

“ _Stars. Fuck._ I guess that’s good incentive to come back in one piece.”

Finn pulled Poe closer, into a deep kiss. “If you don’t, I’ll kick your ass.” He brushed a kiss across Poe’s forehead.


	29. "I didn't ask for a naked guy in a cake."

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rated T for sweary words and Poe in a thong.

Gallifrey on tumblr and Crystal on ao3 also asked for #3 from [this list.](http://animalasaysrauer.tumblr.com/post/143928878821/fic-prompts)

bouncer!Finn, stripper!poe

* * *

As a bouncer at a strip club in New Orleans, Finn was used to seeing a lot of shit - literally, once or twice. He’d had the job for a couple of years now, and he figured he’d grown desensitized to the various male and female genitalia on display every night. He did the job: he made sure no one was disrespectful, but if someone did cross the line, and if Finn’s short but solid figure standing over them, arms crossed, didn’t dissuade them from their misbehavior, being hauled out and thrown into the alley on their ass usually did. He liked the job. It paid well, sometimes the dancers sent tips his way after dealing with a handsy customer, and he genuinely liked the staff. He liked to think of D’qar as one of the classier strips joints in Nola. He even liked it better than the old corporate security job he’d had at First Order.

Entirely desensitized. Yep. That is, until Finn saw Poe Dameron dance for the first time.

Finn was to the side of the stage. He normally didn’t have to worry on Ladies’ Night, but there was a particularly rowdy and dramatic bachelorette party that he was keeping an eye on. He’d bet Snap ten bucks he’d have to forcefully separate the bride and her maid of honor before the night was done.

So he had a good view of the backstage area, and saw someone new enter the wing. His costume was a pilot suit ala Top Gun, complete with aviators and a military cap tucked over raucous curls. Jess introduced Poe, and Finn laughed aloud as Danger Zone began to play, but his laugh caught in his throat as he took in the man’s swagger.

To be honest, the man was kind of small - no taller than Finn’s own short height. Snap was always getting digs in about Finn being the shortest bouncer he’d ever seen. But the pilot was enthusiastic, moved well, and had a grin a mile wide the whole performance. And when he stripped out of the top of the flight suit so that it was hanging around his waist, barley clinging on at his hips, Finn got short of breath at the sight.

As predicted the bachelorette party went crazy over him, and Finn edged a little closer. Still, he’d been keeping an eye on the bride, but it was apparently the quiet girl in the back he should have been watching, because in mere seconds she’d climbed onto the stage and was pulling Poe away from the pole he was gyrating on before Finn could restrain her. The whole scene played in slow motion, as the girl slipped and fell, and Poe tumbled over her legs, and was about to fall head first off of the stage until-

Until Finn managed to catch him in his arms. Without missing a beat, Poe tipped down his aviators, winked at Finn and murmured, “Thanks for the rescue, buddy,” before flashing that grin at him and sliding out of his arms. By then, Snap and Iolo had rushed to the scene and were quickly escorting the bachelorette party out. On stage, Poe continued his routine, Finn watching, dumbstruck. As he danced through the last beats of the song, Poe glanced Finn’s direction and grinned again, before artfully pulling off the flight suit completely and tossing it in Finn’s direction. Finn caught it automatically as he watched Poe drop to his knees and grind against the floor in front of a group of business women.

* * *

“Dude.” Iolo snapped his gum. “Just ask him out. This ‘pretending you’re not watching all of his routines‘ bullshit is annoying the hell out of the rest of us.”

“It wouldn’t be professional.” So _maybe_ Finn found an excuse to move away from door duty whenever Poe came on. And _maybe_ Poe liked to keep him company when he was on his break, and he’d found the dancer to be kind and hilarious and so, so crush-worthy.

“Finn, we work at a _strip club.”_

“The dancers trust us not to be creeps.”

“I really don’t think he’d find your attention creepy. Sometimes I think he’s dancing just for you.” 

“Iolo, can you just lay off for one night? It’s my goddamned birthday, consider it a present.” Finn scowled. He hadn’t meant to reveal that little tidbit, but Iolo just rolled his eyes at Finn as they swept out of the break room to begin their shifts.

It was a female dancer night, so no Poe to enliven the evening, though the hours passed by quickly. He was just walking the perimeter, keeping an eye on a lap dance, when Snap buzzed in his ear. 

“Hey, Finn, the boss lady said you can go ahead and take off. Since it’s _your birthday_ and all.”

Finn spoke into the mic on his shoulder. “Listen, don’t even think about planning anything-”

“What, us? We’d _never_ do that.”  At Finn’s disgusted face and eye-roll, Snap laughed into the headset. “Get out of here, man. Happy birthday. You’re safe for now, we didn’t have enough time to plan anything. Don’t get too comfortable though. We’ll be coming for you when you least expect it.”

Finn shook his head at them before making his way to the break room to grab his stuff. Sitting in the middle of the break room was one of those big, fake cakes that people liked to rent for bachelor parties sometimes. Finn rolled his eyes and said into the mic, “Guys, I did not ask for a naked guy in a cake, so you can just come tell whomever you got to sit in there, let me guess, Iolo? That I’m not interested.”

“Are you sure about that?” Finn’s mind registered Poe’s voice a second before the lid popped open and Poe’s curly head and muscled chest emerged from the top of the cake. Shimmied was probably a better word, Finn decided. “I mean, you’ve got the guy, are you sure you want to send him away?” Poe’s biceps flexed as he pushed himself out of the cake, and Finn saw he was wearing a bright gold thong. 

In his ear, Snap laughed again. “Told you it would be when you least expect it. Iolo tagged Poe. I think the cake was Poe’s idea.”

Finn pulled the ear piece out and gulped as Poe made his way over - swaggering now - to stand before him. “I don’t think I’ve ever properly thanked you for saving me from the stage hopper on my first night.” Poe placed a hand on Finn’s chest, and Finn hoped he couldn’t feel Finn’s rapid heartbeat. “How _ever_ should I thank you, birthday boy?” He leaned in close, mouth inches from Finn’s, before grinning wickedly and turning to nip at Finn’s ear. 

“Poe,” Finn moaned, before grabbing the man by the face and pulling Poe’s mouth to his. Finn heard Poe groan before opening his mouth for Finn’s tongue.

After a moment, they broke apart, panting. Poe reached up with a hand to brush over the 5 o’clock shadow on Finn’s cheek. “A little birdy might have mentioned you like me.”

Finn’s groan this time had nothing sexual to it. “Iolo, right? God, you probably think I’m a creeper, watching you dance. I mean, you’re an amazing dancer, but you should be able to expect better of me. _I_ expect better of me. Listen, I’m not expecting anything just because you’re a dancer-”

Poe cut him off with a second kiss before cupping Finn’s hot cheeks. “Finn. If I thought you were creepy I would have reported you to Leia ages ago. Now, since it’s _your_ birthday, how about I get a little more dressed and we go out for dinner?”

“You don’t think I’m creepy.”

Poe shook his head. “Uh uh.”

“And you want to go on a date with me.”

“Uh-huh.” Poe smiled. “And maybe, if you’re good, I’ll let you get to second base, since we just flew past first.” Poe brought his hands down Finn’s arms to grab hold of his hands. “What do you say?”

 _Play it cool Finn. Cool._ “Hell, yes.” _Real cool. Good job._ But Poe grinned before turning to flash Finn with that perfectly rounded ass covered by the barest of gold string between the cheeks, and so Finn figured he could forgive himself for being a little eager at the moment.


	30. Sex Pollen

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> CW: dub con (due to sex pollen)
> 
> Smut ahoy ahoy

 @beautifullights1 asked for #28, fuck or die/sex pollen

 

This prompt comes from [this list of kinks.](http://animalasaysrauer.tumblr.com/post/144411678171/a-list-of-69-kinks)

So I have to apologize because I’ve had this prompt for a long time and at first I was like “sex pollen????” but then the other day I was like “SEX POLLEN!” and an idea hit me.

* * *

“Poe, what’s that sound?” Finn asked worriedly from the copilot seat of the small transport they were in. About ten seconds ago, an alarm had started ringing.

Poe glanced over at Finn’s worried face and bit his lip. He was already regretting what he had to say next. “Remember when I joked about how we’d be fine, because there’s no way we’d possibly crash another ship?”

Finn’s eyes grew wide. “Poe Dameron, I told you that you were jinxing us.”

“And I told you not to listen to Snap about superstitions and ‘jinxes.’“ Poe muttered under his breath. “Just make sure you’re strapped in. We’re going to be fine. Just a rough landing, maybe. Remember, best pilot in the Resistance, right here, buddy.”

Finn’s wide eyes turned into a glare as he buckled his safety harness. “Why, exactly, are we crashing?”

“Emergency landing. There’s a difference.” Poe turned his attention back to his console as the trees on the planet below them loomed ever larger. “Why are we making an emergency landing?  Because if we keep going, I’m pretty sure we’re going to blow up.”

“Poe!”

Poe didn’t answer as he concentrated on bringing them in. According to the data chart, the planet was uninhabited, so Poe wasted no time looking for a settlement to land by. Instead, he grinned wildly as he managed to set them down rather softly in a clearing. “See, we’re fine. This planet is totally fine for human life. Not really sure why it’s uninhabited,” he said as an after thought. “I put out the coded distress signal. If I can’t repair the damage myself, someone from the Resistance will be along to pick us up in 12 hours, no more than a day, tops.”

Finn was still glaring at him, though he had a look of consideration now. “How can I help with the repairs?”

“Well, first we need to step outside and figure out what the problem is.” He opened the hatch with a hiss of pressure, revealing a lush jungle. A wave of humidity washed over them and Finn grimaced even as Poe smiled. “Reminds me of Yavin 4.”

“Well it’s definitely no Jakku, that’s for sure.”

They made their way around to the engine, which was smoking slightly. Poe attempted to pry back the door that would reveal the inner workings, pulled too hard, and fell back into a red bush.

“Whoa, Poe, are you okay?”

“Yeah, of course, just clumsy. Help me with the door, would you?” Poe pushed himself up with a shake of his head, and between the two of them, they managed to get the door open.

Poe was using a flashlight to peer at the engine inside when Finn gasped. “Poe, your arm, are you sure you’re okay?”

Poe looked down, where his arm was smeared with blood and a green substance. “I must have cut it when I fell.” All of a sudden, the heat that had reminded him of home two minutes before now felt overwhelming. His head swam, and suddenly Finn was a lot taller.

“Poe!” Finn knelt, and Poe realized he was sitting on the jungle ground somehow. _How did that happen?_ Finn’s face seemed hazy, but beautiful like always. Finn was so lovely, and he’d never even know how Poe felt about him. Finn was trying to say something to him but all he could concentrate on was Finn’s full lips moving. What would it be like to have those lips wrapped around his dick, right now? Poe moaned and leaned toward Finn, but somehow ended up lying on the ground.

He felt Finn pick him up, like he weighed nothing, because Finn was just built like that. So sexy. Poe tried to reach for one of Finn’s biceps but his hand ended up grabbing at Finn’s chest instead. Poe shrugged. “Just as good,” he mumbled. He looked down. His hardon was making his flight suit tent. Something was wrong here. “Something is wrong here.”

“Uh, yeah, no shit.” Finn laid him on the cold metal flooring of the ship. “I think that plant was poisonous.

Poe glanced down at the green mixed with red on his arm. It all was a little fuzzy.

Finn broke out the first aid kit and found sanitizing wipes, carefully cleaning the wound and scrubbing off all of the sticky green substance that wanted to glue itself in Poe’s arm hairs.

Every touch of Finn’s professional fingers made Poe want to moan. The sure, steady hands were driving him crazy. Finn said nothing as Poe began to moan, “Finn, Finn, Finn, Finn,” under his breath.

“I think I got it all,” Finn murmured, covering the wound with bacta strips. He placed a hand on Poe’s flaming forehead and Poe leaned into the contact, moaning.

Something was beginning to cut through the haze of sensations Poe was riding on. Maybe Finn’s cleaning had helped neutralize the poison a bit, because strong thoughts were breaking through now. _Whatever the poison was, it’s made you horny as fuck. You need to fuck. You need to get off. You can’t do this to Finn. You need to separate yourself from Finn. You love him, or at least you really like him, you cannot force yourself on him, you cannot use him for this. It will taint everything about your relationship._

“You _love_ me?”

Poe’s mouth went dry. “I said all of that out loud?” Poe arched into Finn’s touch as Finn’s hand landed on his thigh.

“Yeah,” Finn whispered. “Did you mean it, or is that the poison talking?”

“You need to get away from me, Finn. I don’t want to hurt you.”

“Poe Dameron,” Finn said in a commanding voice, straddling Poe and holding Poe’s face still so they could look each other in the eye. Poe whimpered. “Tell me how you really feel about me.”

It was taking everything Poe had not to buck up under Finn, not to grind his erection in Finn’s perfect ass. “You… I…” he panted, “I like you a lot. It might be love. I don’t know right now, oh god, Finn, move your hips, baby.”

“I like you a lot, too. And I want to help you with this little… okay, not so little problem of yours.” Experimentally, Finn ground his hips into Poe. The sensation made Poe want to scream. As he rolled again, Finn leaned down to muffle the sounds coming from Poe with a searing kiss. Of course, everything felt searing to Poe right now.

Finn broke off to work Poe’s flight suit off. It caught on Poe’s ankles but he really couldn’t give a fuck. Apparently neither could Finn, who removed his own clothes just as quickly. At the first tentative touch of Finn’s hand on his cock, Poe moaned, shooting all over his own stomach as stars flashed in his eyes. He’d never had such an amazing orgasm, but he managed to lift his head and stare apologetically at Finn. “I’m sorry, I just - normally I can last longer, I promise.”

Finn grinned as he continued to stroke Poe. “You’re still rock hard, Poe," he said with a mix of worry and awe.

“I don’t know whether to thank that plant or curse it.” The mind blowing orgasm had steadied his heart a bit, and things weren’t as hazy. He could focus on Finn lazily stroking Poe’s cock while ignoring his own. “I feel a little better, despite… that,” he indicated his dick. “You don’t have to keep this up.”

“What if I want to keep it up?”

Poe reached out with a hand, made sure Finn’s eyes were on his. His heartrate was picking up again. “Are you sure? I need you to be sure.”

“When I thought you died, something terrible passed through me. I never felt such elation as when I found out you were alive. Poe, I’m sure.”

Poe pulled own on Finn’s shoulders to get access to his mouth. “We’re definitely talking about this later, okay?”

“Okay,” Finn replied, out of breath as he took both of their cocks in his hand and began to stroke them together. Finn buried his head in Poe’s shoulder as he kept rhythm, their hips grinding together in sync. Poe’s chant of “Finn, Finn, Finn,” returned.

Suddenly Finn’s come was joining his on Poe’s stomach, and Poe moaned at the thought of their come mixing together on his stomach. The thought pushed him over the edge and he shot off, joining Poe in collapsing on the floor.

After a few minutes, Finn cleared his throat and stared pointedly down at Poe’s dick. It was standing tall and proud, still, and Poe groaned.

“Stars, I can see why no one inhabits this planet, they’d never get anything done.”

Finn grinned as he cuddled into Poe’s side. “No, but maybe it’s helped other people admit their feelings, too.” Finn cupped Poe’s face again, the kiss sweeter this time, and full of promise.


	31. "I bet I can make you scream my name."

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Deffffffinitey smut, rated E.

lilliandc asked for #94 “I bet I can make you scream my name” off of this list, with top!Poe. I always enjoy a good top!Poe, so hopefully this fits. :)  
NSFW :)

* * *

  
“Commander Dameron, your airspace is clear, have a wonderful trip, sir.”

  
“Thank you, Private,” Poe responded, giving the holo of the young soldier back on base a professional nod as he reached up to flick a bead of sweat away from his brow. “Dameron ou-”

  
“Wait, is that Dameron?” Poe heard General Organa in the background and groaned inwardly. At the same time, Finn rolled his tongue around the head of Poe’s cock, and Poe closed his eyes for the briefest of seconds.

  
“Not falling asleep already, are we, Commander?” The General’s amused voice crackled through the speakers as they got farther away from base.

  
Poe forced his eyes open, grateful that the holo wouldn’t show how blown his pupils were right now. “No, sir. Did you need something from us?”

  
Leia smiled briefly. “I know you’re on leave, but this war rarely waits for anyone. I’m sending you the coordinates for a contact I need you to make. Don’t worry, you’ll still have plenty of time to celebrate.”

  
“Th-thank you, General. I’ll look at the information right away and adjust our plans accordingly,” Poe stuttered as Finn took him into his throat, and he held back the moan by digging his fingers into his flight seat.

  
“Congratulations, Commander. Have a nice trip.” With one last knowing smirk that made Poe wonder if she knew, the holo winked away and Poe let out a moan, wrapping his hands around the back of Finn’s head and gently guiding him lower.

  
“Oh, fuck, Finn.” Poe watched the stars fly by in hyper drive, forming lines of light. Finn’s lips and throat were making Finn feel like he was flying along with the stars, a single line of light stretched out to infinity.

  
Just short of coming, he eased Finn’s head back, his cock popping out of Finn’s mouth. Finn grinned up at him, eyes managing to somehow be dark and bright at the same time. “Did you want to kick off our honeymoon some other way, Poe?” Finn’s lips twisted wickedly, and Poe pulled on his shoulders, getting him to move up into Poe’s lap.

  
In answer, Poe pulled Finn’s head down for a kiss, tasting himself on Finn’s tongue as they swept together. “Actually, yes,” Poe panted when he pulled back. “I was hoping to spend the first little bit of the honeymoon fucking my husband senseless.”

  
Finn moaned and ground against his lap. “Mmmmm,” he hummed, taking Poe’s mouth again. “I like that idea.”

  
“I bet you do,” Poe said, standing them up and turning Finn around over the console. “Oh God, it’s like all of my holovid-porn fantasies come true,” he moaned.

  
Finn arched into Poe’s touch as Poe began to ease his pants down over his hips. “Lube, my pocket,” he panted out when Poe’s hand wrapped around his cock.

  
Poe fished it out, his own flight suit undone just enough earlier for Finn to give him the blow job. He ran a loving hand over Finn’s ass before working one finger into Finn’s hole. Finn moaned and arched again. “So ready for it, aren’t you?” Finn nodded eagerly. “I bet I can make you scream my name.” He was using two fingers now, a little sloppy, a little rough because Finn was already fucking himself on his fingers, hips snapping back. Poe placed his other hand on the small of Finn’s back to steady him. “Easy, easy, buddy.”

  
“Poe, I swear to the stars, if you don’t get in me-”

  
Finn cut himself off, throwing his head back as Poe scissored in a third finger and swept over his prostate. “Poe,” he moaned brokenly.

  
“Not quite screaming yet,” Poe noted as he gave Finn’s hole a final stretch before pulling his fingers out. He quickly lubed his cock and began to slide it into Finn, his husband shuddering underneath him as he took it in. “My husband,” Poe said, the hand on Finn’s back, under his shirt, caressing lovingly as he seated himself fully inside Finn. “Mine.”

  
Finn arched and pushed his hips back. “Yes, yes, yours. Mine. We belong to each other. Now will you just fucking move?”

  
Poe chuckled, retreating slowly, until the head of his cock almost popped out from Finn’s rim. As he began the slow slide back in, Finn’s grip on the console turned his knuckles white.

  
“I think torture is grounds for divorce, Poe,” Finn growled.

  
Poe withdrew again, then slammed his hips forward, the feeling of Finn around his cock like a tight, warm glove, and he couldn’t hold back then, not even to tease Finn more, slamming into Finn again and again.

  
He reached around to wrap a hand around Finn’s cock, slick with precum, and gripped the base, keeping Finn from coming. “Poe!” Finn screamed as Poe sank home once again. “Oh gods, Poe, Poe,” he chanted.

  
Poe released his fingers to slide up Finn’s cock, and Finn stiffened, come splashing on the floor of the ship just as Poe released inside of Finn, filling him up.

  
“Fuck,” they panted simultaneously. Poe eased out of Finn, and they cleaned themselves, and the floor, and put themselves back together. Finn collapsed into the pilot’s chair, and Poe made himself comfortable on Finn’s lap, kissing him lazily and stroking over his chest.

  
“You won the bet,” Finn admitted.

  
“Mmm, I’m pretty sure you bet me that you could get me hard before we even left planet. Which means you totally won.”

  
“I think we both won,” Finn murmured, bringing Poe’s head down for a kiss.

  
Poe reached for Finn’s left hand with his own, crossing in between their bodies, so that their rings glinted in the starlight. “I think you’re right.”


	32. The Sliding Doors style fics

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> CW: Major character death

So have any of you guys ever seen the movie Sliding Doors? Basically, the movie is split between two narratives, of what happens in this woman’s life if she makes the train or misses the train. I’ve got two prompts that kind of dovetailed into each other, and I decided to make a “Sliding Doors” deal out of it.

 

Part 1: tea-virus on tumblr asked "Have you ever considered doing a Stormpilot marriage/partnership proposal ficlet? :D"

* * *

“Run!” Finn reached down to grab Poe’s hand as the storm troopers’ blasters opened fire.

Poe stumbled as they rounded a corner, and Finn helped him back against the wall before peering around the corner to shoot back. He picked off a few troopers, biting his lip at the idea that they were just mind-controlled innocents. “I’m sorry,” he muttered as another trooper went down.

Poe groaned beside him, and Finn spared a glance to see that Poe was holding his shirt into his side. “Fuck, I hate blaster fire,” he complained. “Stings like a bitch.”

“You all right?” Finn asked frantically.

“Yeah, yeah, nothing a little bacta strip won’t clear up.” One hand still covering his wound, one carrying a blaster, Poe peeked around Finn and took out a trooper coming too close. “Where is our air support?” Poe spoke into the earpiece. “Snap, get off of your lazy ass.”

Finn heard a crackle as Snap responded, “Oh, so baby Dameron needs rescuing again, does he?”

“Maybe I need rescuing all the time because I’m the only one doing anything.” As Finn felled another trooper, Poe grinned at him and amended, “Well, me and Finn.”

As Snap swooped in and the last trooper fell, Poe whooped and swept Finn up for a kiss. When they broke apart, Finn eased Poe’s hand away from his wound. When Poe balked, Finn just snarled at him. “Don’t be a baby, baby Dameron.”

“Really? Reallllly? Ow!” Poe exclaimed as Finn poked at the wound.

“Kriff, Finn. Another few inches and you’d be…”Finn went silent, then wrapped Poe in a tight hug. “Come on, let’s go find a medic.” Even though Poe wasn’t having trouble walking, Finn slung an arm around his waist anyway.

They found the medic, and Finn scanned the crowd. Not too many wounded, the troopers in full retreat. Something inside him relaxed, but then he looked at Poe, who had hitched a hip on a piece of rubble, shirt stained red, and everything in him tightened again. “Stay here.”

“Yes, sir!” Poe replied jauntily. When Finn just glared at him, though, he lost the smile and nodded sincerely. “I will, love, I promise.”

Finn didn’t have to search for his target long. When he found General Organa, he simply took her by the hand, as was his habit, and started dragging her back to Poe, ignoring her flustered protests.

Poe stood at attention when he saw Organa come back. “Sir-”

Leia’s eyes narrowed as she took in Poe’s appearance. “Commander Dameron, have you been seen yet?” She turned to call for a medic, but Finn cut her off.

“He’s fine. I need you to do the thing we talked about.”

Both Poe and Leia’s brows knit together. “I don’t…”

“The thing. You said you would do it. Well, do it. Now.”

Leia searched Finn’s face, as Poe asked, “Finn, are you alright?”

“I’ve never been better. What do you need to do? Do you just declare it, or what?”

“You want to do this right here?” Leia, it seemed, had finally caught on.

“Yes!” Finn replied, at the same time that Poe shouted, “Do what?”

Finn turned to him. “She’s going to marry us.”

“She- what?” Poe’s eyes grew wide.

“You haven’t asked him?” Leia smirked, just a little.

Finn rolled his eyes. “Poe, we’re getting married.” He turned back to Leia. “Okay, so … go?”

“That wasn’t a question, Finn,” Poe murmured, tugging on Finn’s hand.

Finn reached for Poe’s wound, hand hovering there, then looked up into Poe’s eyes. He knew he looked panicked, unsure. He was anything but. “Poe, nothing’s guaranteed in this war. You fight by my side, and one day you might die by my side. And if that should happen, I want you to do that as my husband.” Finn raised Poe's hand to brush a kiss across the bloody knuckles. “Will you marry me, Poe?”

Poe was still looking like he was two steps behind, but he caught up quickly as he pressed himself into Finn and took his mouth. “Yes, absolutely yes.” He wrapped his free arm around Finn, wincing a bit at the side wound.

Leia was still smirking. “You two are as bad as Han and I were. We still doing this now?” Finn arched an eyebrow at Poe, and Poe nodded, face all smile. “Okay, well, since Finn said something pretty, do you want to respond, Poe?”

“I don’t want anyone else on my six, Finn. Just you.” Finn grinned and nodded.

“Well, that was certainly short.”

“ _And_ romantic,” Poe said, and Finn nodded. Leia rolled her eyes.

“Do you take Poe as your husband?”

“Yes.”

“Do you take Finn as your husband?”

“Yes.”

“Then you’re married. Get Poe some medical care, for god’s sake, hubby,” Leia directed sternly at Finn, and Finn nodded, serious. Leia just rolled her eyes again and walked away.

Finn managed to find some bacta strips himself and cleaned Poe’s wound before settling him down on his lap. Until transport arrived, Finn wanted Poe as close as possible.

* * *

@Beautifullights1 asked on tumblr: how about #89: “I’m not leaving you!”, with a life-threatening injury of some kind? 

* * *

 “Run!” Finn reached down to grab Poe’s hand as the storm troopers’ blasters opened fire.

Poe stumbled as they rounded a corner, and Finn helped him back against the wall before peering around the corner to shoot back. He picked off a few troopers, biting his lip at the idea that they were just mind-controlled innocents. “I’m sorry,” he muttered as another trooper went down.

Poe groaned beside him, and Finn spared a glance to see a lot of blood. Too much blood. “Poe?” His distraction meant the troopers moved closer, and blaster fire exploded over his head, sending a small shower of rocks.

Poe was sliding down the wall, and Finn hurried to try and prop him up with his body. Poe’s face was pale, and Finn stopped breathing for a second. “Poe, hold your shirt to your wound. Stop the bleeding!” he shouted as he fired a few more blasts at the troopers. Poe moaned as he obeyed Finn’s orders.

“Snap, where the fuck is our air support? We’re getting kil-” Finn cut himself off from what he had been saying. “Poe’s down.”

A crackle in his ear. “Dameron? You copy?”

The troopers were getting closer. Poe grabbed at Finn’s jacket - Poe’s jacket - with a slippery hand. “Finn, you have to get out of here. You have to leave me.”

“I’m not leaving you!” Finn felt like his throat was tearing itself apart, the sound choked.

The covering fire they’d needed ages ago finally arrived, sending the troopers into a retreat. Finn turned away from the scene, and cradled Poe into his arms, easing them down the wall to the ground. He moved Poe’s clothes to get a better look at the wound. He gulped. He’d seen that black blood before.

“Poe,” he managed, stripping his jacket and shirt off so he could press it against Poe’s wound.

Poe’s bloody hand covered his on the wound. “You never could lie. I can see on your face that it’s bad.”

“No, we just need some bacta strips, that’s all. Poe.” Finn felt the tears threatening to overflow in his eyes.

“Finn, I really love you.”

“I love you too, that’s why you have to stay here.” The sob escaped before Finn could stop it.

“Finn, let’s get married.”

A laugh turned into another sob. “Okay,” Finn whispered.

“Should I wear my dress uniform, do you think?”

“The-the ugly greenish one? No. You should wear blue. You look beautiful in blue.” The tears were streaming down his face now.

“Finn.” Poe reached up to wipe some of the tears away. In the distance, Finn heard running, shouts. It didn’t matter. Everything had faded away to the man before him. “Stars.”

“Stars?” Finn moaned as Poe’s eyes started to slide shut. “No, Poe, stay with me.”

“Stars. I’ll be there. Look for me.”

——————–

Finn had to move, someone was saying. They needed to collect body for transport.

Finn felt hands on him, felt something cool wash over his mind, something peaceful. “It’s just temporary, Finn. Just to get you on the transport.” Leia’s voice was a guiding beacon in his ear as he shuffled to the ship. He wasn’t sure where Poe went, and Leia didn’t answer, just led him to a seat and wrapped him in her arms. “Shhhhh. You can survive this. I did.”

As quickly as they had come, the calming effects - the Force, Finn thought - faded, and all he could do was lean into Leia’s chest and sob.


	33. "What the hell are you wearing?"

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Panty fic - full smut ahead!

Dr.Robotix on tumblr asked for [#51 from this prompt list ](http://animalasaysrauer.tumblr.com/post/144078113601/send-me-a-pairing-and-a-number-and-ill-write-you)"What the hell are you wearing?” 

* * *

“Have a great vacation, Dameron.” Snap clapped him on the back as he walked through the pilot’s lounge. “How many years with the old ball and chain now?”

Poe let the teasing wash over him and smiled serenely. “Three.” He signed off the final paperwork and saluted Snap. “Catch you later, loser.”

Snap rolled his eyes. “Enjoy your husband.”

“Oh I will.”

He wanted to skip through the airport, or run, and when he straddled his motorcycle, he had to fight not to rush home.

As a commercial pilot, he could take Finn anywhere in the world for their anniversary. But he’d first connected with Finn because they both had jobs that took them away from home a lot. As he fought the airport traffic, Poe thought about how they’d met - that tended to happen on anniversaries, after all.  Finn, a travel writer, had found himself stranded at an airport during a snowstorm, and since he’d looked lonely, Poe had bought him a drink.

_“Don’t expect anything from me,” Finn had started when Poe had brought his own drink over._

_“Whoa, buddy, I’m not that kind of man.” Poe had smiled his charming smile._

_“So, no cheesy pick up lines?” Finn set his phone down, giving Poe his attention._

_Poe waggled his eyebrows at Finn. “Oh, well, if you want cheesy pick up lines…” Poe purses his lips at Finn and did his best to give him an overly-smoldering look. “I hope angels know CPR because you take my breath away.”_

_Finn looked at Poe, deadpan, but one lip twitched._

_“Is that shirt made of boyfriend material?”_

_Finn took a drink to hide his smile._

_“Are you a parking ticket? Because you’ve got fine written all over you.”_

_Finn burst out into laughter. “That’s horrible.”_

_Poe shrugged and tapped his head. “I’ve got a million.”_

_“Do they ever work?”_

_“Oh, hell no. I don’t think I’d want them to work, you know? Date someone who actually fell for that?”_

_“Then why do you have a million pick up lines memorized?”_

_Poe shrugged. “I don’t know, I guess I think they’re funny. Everyone has their thing, right?”_

_Finn eyed him over his drink, took a sip, and held out his hand. “Finn.”_

_“Poe.”_

Somehow, they’d managed the complicated long distance thing. At first it had just been texting and Skype. Then, Finn and Poe had managed to make their travel plans overlap in NYC. Poe had planned on taking Finn out on the town, but as soon as they met again in the lobby, they didn’t set foot outside the hotel the rest of the weekend. They’d decided to locate in Seattle, and Finn had proposed to Poe at the top of the Ferris wheel. Now, for their anniversaries, they were certainly capable of going to some exotic locale, but a week at home, just the two of them? A solid week spent at home, no travel, no distractions but each other? Paradise.

Poe pulled up to their suburban house. Some people had questioned why they even bought some place they wouldn’t be in that often, but Finn and Poe brushed the criticism aside. They’d understood their need to have a home, a sanctuary of their own.

When he parked, Finn came to the door, leaning on the door frame, barefoot and dressed in khakis and and and cream t-shirt. Poe felt the love swamp him as he pulled off his helmet. “Hey, beautiful, I seem to have lost my phone number, can I have yours?”

Finn smiled, then smothered a laugh. “Sorry, mister. I’m married.”

“Oh yeah?” Poe let himself rush the last little bit to Finn so he could swing him around in his arms. “Is he the jealous type?”

“Very. He’s huge, too.” Finn squeezed his arms, an appreciative glint in his eyes. He pulled Poe into the house and wrapped his arms around Poe, giving him a thorough welcome.

When Poe tipped his head back, he realized he heard music, something soft and instrumental and romantic. From the direction of the dining area, he saw the soft flickering of candlelight. He turned back to Finn, wrapping his arms around Finn’s neck tighter. “Mi corazon.”

Finn smiled softly. “Happy anniversary, Poe.”

“Did you cook?” Poe asked tentatively.

Finn grinned and shook his head. “I would never subject you to that. I ordered in. I thought maybe we could eat, get a little drunk, open presents.” He leaned in to sink his mouth into Poe’s.

“That sounds like an excellent idea,” Poe murmured.

They walked hand-in-hand to the kitchen, barely able to keep their hands off each other as they prepared their plates. Poe would tickle up Finn’s side, and Finn would smack his hand away; then Finn would sneak a quick kiss on Poe’s neck, and it was his turn to get flustered. They finally settled at the dining table, wine for Poe, beer for Finn, Poe scooting close enough to hook his ankle around Finn’s under the table. As they chatted idly, Poe let himself breathe into the moment. There was nothing better in the world than coming home to Finn, except maybe being the one to greet Finn when he came home.

When they were done with the food, Poe crept his hand across the table to Finn’s, and Finn threaded their fingers together. “Presents?” Poe asked into the candlelight.

“You first?”

“Okay, one sec.” Poe hopped up, the wine not having calmed his energy yet, briefly pecked Finn’s cheek to make him laugh, and ran out to the garage, where he’d been storing the big box. Finn’s eyes widened as he brought it in and placed it in front of him.

Finn immediately ripped into the paper, revealing a clothing box. As he worked off the lid, red leather began peeking through. “Oh, Poe,” Finn sighed, running his hand over the supple leather reverently, before lifting it up to reveal a bomber jacket. “It’s gorgeous.” He brought it up to his face to smell.

“I looked up the third anniversary, and it’s leather. I thought you could use a nice new jacket for riding.” Poe’s smile was wide; he loved putting that look on Finn’s face.

“Baby.” Finn set the jacket down and cupped Poe’s face, peppering kisses all over it before settling on Poe’s mouth. “I love it, thank you.”

“Happy anniversary.” Poe linked their hands together and swung them a bit. “Here’s to a whole bunch more.”

“Here here,” Finn murmured with a smile.

Poe raised his eyebrows. “Now, where’s my present?”

Finn’s eyes turned dark, and Poe’s heart picked up a bit. “Your present requires unwrapping too.”

“Oh really?” Poe held his breath.

Finn led Poe’s hands to the hem of his shirt. “Yeah.”

Poe’s hands drifted at the hem, lifting it slightly to run his hands around Finn’s waist lightly. Finn shivered. “Can I unwrap it now?”

“I don’t see the point in waiting.”

Eager, Poe walked Finn backwards to the dining room wall, and Finn chuckled, pulling Poe’s head to his for a searing kiss. Poe played at the edge of the hem again, tickling Finn into more shudders. “What if I want to take it slow, unwrap everything in due time, until my present is a quivering mess?”

When Finn spoke, his voice was rough with desire. “You can do what you want, love, but I’m not your present.”

“Oh?” Poe’s brows drew together. “A mystery, huh?”

“Not for long, I’m sure.”  Finn leaned his head back against the wall and raised his arms. Poe couldn’t help but run his hands over the long, lean length of him, before finally pulling the shirt up and over Finn’s head. Poe immediately leaned in to press a line of kisses along Finn’s collar bone, leaning down further to lick over a nipple as Finn sighed.

Poe pulled his own shirt off, desperate to get the feel of skin to skin. They made the long distance thing work, they really did, but nothing was as electric as when they came together. He wrapped his arms around Finn’s waist and pulled them together, settling his mouth over Finn’s, suddenly feeling like he had all the time in the world to just absorb Finn into himself.

Poe rolled his hips into Finn’s, and Finn moaned. Poe reached down to unbutton the khakis and began to slide them over Finn’s hips, Finn rolling into the motion again. Poe started to hook his thumbs under Finn’s boxers to slide them down as well, when he realized he felt a different texture on his skin and looked down. “What the hell are you wearing?” he murmured softly, curious. Finn simply smiled.

Beneath the khakis, Finn was wearing a pair of cream lace boy shorts that moulded over every bump and curve. Poe pushed the khakis down so he could get a better look, and Finn patiently stepped out of the pants. Poe glanced up at Finn, who was smiling shyly. “You like?”

Poe looked down again, running his hands over the lace, feeling the texture as it enclosed Finn’s ass. Poe blew a breath out and looked back at Finn’s face, knowing his eyes were blown wide. “Christ, Finn, I like. I like a lot.”

Poe dropped to his knees, unable to take his eyes away from how good the pale cream looked against the ebony of Finn’s skin. He could feel his cock leaking precum against his own boxers, still trapped in his pants.

He started pressing kisses against the smooth skin below the panties, then delighted in the texture change as he ran his lips over the lace. Finn’s bulge was obvious, but the panties kept it well tucked. Poe continued to press kisses over his cock, licking out every once and awhile to feel that texture on his tongue.

Finn leaned back to use the wall as support. When he spoke, it was Poe’s name, and a bit broken.

Poe began to ease the panties down over Finn’s cock, letting the lace slide against it as Finn moaned above. When the head finally popped over, Poe leaned in to take it in his mouth. He let Finn’s cock head just sit in his mouth, swirling his tongue around the tip, and used the panties to brush up and down on Finn’s cock.

“Fuck,” Finn groaned out. “Fuck, I didn’t even think of that.”

Poe chuckled a little. “Feeling a little sensitive, are we?” He reached around, sliding the panties slowly over Finn’s cheeks, making him shiver, as he took Finn’s cock in his mouth again.

Finn ran his hand through Poe’s short curls, finding just enough length to grab onto, which was precisely why Poe kept a few curls around despite the undercut. Nothing got him harder than Finn using his mouth. He moaned as Finn tugged, then guided him down farther. Poe braced himself on Finn’s bare thighs and took Finn down to the root. Above him, Finn’s eyes were on his and a sweet litany of “Fuck, Poe, fuck” was huffing between his lips.

Poe snaked a hand down to Finn’s balls, rolling them in his hand to feel them tighten as Finn fucked harder into his throat. His fingers moved on, sweeping around Finn’s rim and already finding the slick of lube there. His grunt around Finn’s dick was a question, and Finn slowed his hips to answer, “Other part of your present. I’m ready when you are,” he managed between breaths.

Poe’s moan was long, and he pulled off, Finn’s cock leaving his mouth with a pop. “Finish the blow job or no?” His voice was raspy, and Finn’s hand tightened in his curls again.

Finn bit his lip and shook his head. “I want to come when you come in me.” He tugged at Poe’s hair. “Get up here.”

“Yes, Mr. Dameron.”

Finn pulled him in for a sloppy kiss before turning around in his arms and leaning against the wall, slightly bent at the waist. As Poe got rid of his own pants and boxers, he drank in the sight of Finn’s strong calves and thighs, the cream panties partially clinging to his legs obscenely. The long line of Finn’s spine, arched slightly. Finn looking over his shoulder at Poe, eyes inviting.  “I wish I could take a picture right now.”

“Lube first, love.”

“Right. You didn’t happen to-”

Finn smiled at him. “Check the side table.”

“Thank fuck,” Poe breathed as he uncapped it and lubed his cock up. He couldn’t stand the thought of leaving Finn this way.

“I put one in every-” Finn shuddered out a breath as Poe slide the panties down his legs and helped him step out of them. “Every room. Wanted us to be prepared for our week.”

“I like the way you think, baby.” He worked three lubed fingers into Finn, just to make sure, before withdrawing and pressing his cock head into Finn’s hole.

“Mmm,” Finn hummed as Poe’s cock slid in, and Poe hitched an arm around Finn’s waist to pull him snug and steady him. “Welcome home,” Finn purred.

“Naughty.” Poe grunted as he withdrew and thrust. He leaned over to nip at Finn’s neck, taste the salt there. “Just how I like you.”

Poe realized his still had the panties in his hand, clenched in his fist. The sight of Finn in them flashed through his mind, and he groaned, thrusting harder. He was on the edge, and needed Finn to join him. Without thinking, he wrapped the panties lightly around Finn’s dick, pulling them over the sensitive skin.

With a shout, Finn came, shooting into Poe’s hands and the panties, and clenching his ass around Poe’s cock. “Fuck,” Poe groaned, thrusting twice before stiffening and filling Finn with his come.

With the last of his presence of mind, Poe eased them to the floor, spooning around Finn and mouthing at some of the sweat on his back.

As their breathing evened out, Finn turned around in his arms, nuzzling into Poe’s throat and sucking a bruise there.

“I don’t know how you’re going to top that, Finn. You’ve ruined me for anniversary presents forever.”

Finn smiled as he glanced up at the leather coat, still on the table where they’d left it earlier, and got a speculative look on his face. “What if, tomorrow, I wear the jacket?”

Poe laughed a little. “You can wear the jacket whenever you want, buddy.”

“No. Just the jacket. And the panties.” Finn smirked as Poe’s jaw dropped slightly.

“Yes. Yes. Yes. I like that plan.”

“Good.” Finn tipped up Poe’s chin to place a lazy kiss on his lips.

When he leaned back, Poe ran a hand over Finn’s hair. “You know, my doctor says I’m lacking vitamin U.” He braced himself for the tap, and there it was, lightly on his shoulder, as Finn burst out into laughter.

“You’re the worst. I fucking love you. Want to crawl to bed now?”

“Crawl? I thought you’d carry me.” Poe laughed when Finn slapped his bare ass, and they managed to stumble to their feet, leaning into each other in a mess of giggles.


	34. Met in an ER AU

Stardusteddameron asked for #15 from the [AU prompt list](http://animalasaysrauer.tumblr.com/post/145460830641/send-me-a-ship-and-a-number-and-ill-write-a-short) which is “meeting in the E.R/A&E au”  

* * *

It’d been a hell of a day already, and Finn still had a few hours to go before getting off shift. He’d been part of the team that had unsuccessfully tried to save a man from injuries sustained in a car accident. After adding time of death and preparing the body for transfer to the morgue, Finn had gone to wash off the blood and got stuck in a loop of washing and rewashing his hands, mindlessly. He jumped when Leia Organa, the head nurse, appeared next to him, and finished the handwashing procedure guiltily.

“You need a break?”

“Took one right before.” Finn knew she’d let him go anyway, but really, he only had a few hours left.

She eyed him speculatively. “Well, there’s an easy one in room C, broken arm. Needs x-rays and then stabilization. It’s a little girl.”

Finn nodded, turning to take care of it right away. He liked dealing with children. He often thought about transferring out of emergency - the thrill of the change every day no longer seemed as thrilling to him. 

Finn drew back the curtain to room C, where a young girl was lying on the bed, eyes closed, while a man paced rapidly by her side. At the sound of the curtain, the man’s eyes flew up to meet Finn’s. “Are we getting help now?”

Finn forced a polite smile onto his face. “I’m sorry for the wait. We had an emergency-”

Luckily, the man didn’t seem like the type to go on a rant about the wait. “Hi. I’m Poe. This is Bebe. She fell out of a tree. They checked her head already and gave her some pain medication for the arm that made her loopy so I told her it was okay to close her eyes and try to get some rest but maybe I shouldn’t-”

Finn held up a hand to stop the flow of words while he continued scanning Bebe’s chart. “Poe. It’s alright. She’s been cleared of a brain injury. Resting is the best thing for her right now, but unfortunately I’m going to have to wake her up for some x-rays.” He moved to the side of the bed, adjusting an IV line, and picked up Bebe’s uninjured hand. “Hey, Bebe, you here with us?”

Bebe slowly opened her eyes, which were still clouded with pain, and Finn squeezed her hand. “My name is Nurse Finn. We’re going to fix you right up, okay?” She nodded. “The first thing we’re going to do is take pictures of the bones inside your body, so we can see how bad the fracture is, okay?”

“Okay.” 

“I’m going to wheel the bed to the x-ray room.”

“Unca Poe?”

Finn looked up as the man immediately hovered over the bed. “I’m here, sweetie.” Poe sought Finn’s eyes. “Is it okay if I come?”

Finn nodded. “That’s fine. You’ll have to stay out while we take the pictures.”

At the x-ray room, Finn showed Poe where to stand, then positioned Bebe’s arm in various ways to get the correct angles for the doctor to analyze. He chewed on his lip as the x-rays showed the fracture, which looked like anything but a clean break, but betrayed nothing to Poe. He’d let the doctor make the final determination.

“Are her parents on the way?” he asked Poe while the x-rays uploaded. 

“No. Um. No, her parents- my brother and his wife- they’re- I’m Bebe’s guardian now.” Poe looked away.

“Oh, I’m sorry, I didn’t mean-”

“No, it’s okay. We’re okay now. As okay as it can be, right?”

Finn thought of his own broken lineage, the orphanage he’d grown up in. “Yeah.” He put on a sunny smile for Bebe and started rolling her back to her room. “Okay, Bebe-girl, we’re going to stabilize the arm for now so it doesn’t hurt as much, then we’re going to put up the little flag for a doctor, and the doctor’s going to come look at your pictures, okay?”

Bebe nodded, then stoically sat still while Finn bound her arm and worked it into a sling, while Poe paced at her side.

When he was done, he told Bebe to rest, then turned to Poe and placed a hand on his arm. “Can I talk to you a sec outside?”

Outside the room, Poe burst into nervous chatter. “What is it? Is it something awful? Oh God. They don’t amputate anymore, do they?”

Finn held his smile in check. “Poe, I’ll let the doctor explain, but I promise, Bebe is going to be absolutely fine. We see kids with broken limbs every day, and like, at least 50% of the time they end up going on to lead normal, healthy lives.” Poe’s eyes bulged for a second, before relaxing as he realized Finn was trying to get him to ease up. “I can tell you feel guilty about whatever happened, but it’s best for Bebe’s recovery if she got nothing but positive energy from you, okay?” It was a line Finn liked to use on parents, and though it sounded like bullshit, Finn had seen stress from parents cause their child’s recovery to slow. 

Poe nodded. “Yes. Yeah. Got it. Positive energy.”

“Everything’s going to be okay.”

“Okay.”

“Bebe will be fine.”

“Okay.”

“I have to go see to other duties now, but I’ll be back when the doctor is available, or you can use the call button if you need immediate help.”

“Thank you…” Poe trailed off, looking confused, and Finn granted him mercy.

“Finn,” he said with a smile.

“Right, Finn. You said that to Bebe. Sorry.”

“It’s okay, Poe.” He gave Poe a reassuring pat before turning to complete his other duties.

He got called away, but made sure to return for the doctor’s diagnosis of Bebe’s broken arm. He knew Poe, at least, would need the comfort. When Laura, the doctor, finally called him over, he entered room C with a smile and began to set up Bebe’s x-rays on the computer, before pulling over another monitor and keyboard to type notes for Laura.

She frowned as she mulled over the various shots Finn had taken. “That’s quite a fracture you’ve gotten yourself there, little lady,” she started, and Finn winced. Sometimes Laura could come off as condescending to little kids. “I’m guessing it will need surgery, but I want a specialist to look at it in a few days, after the swelling has gone down. Mr. Dameron, I’ll have Finn give you the name and number of our specialist so you can setup an appointment.”

Finn diligently typed up the notes as Laura broke the news, and both Poe and Bebe looked more and more concerned. As Laura nodded at them and left the room, Finn took a place beside Bebe’s bed, taking her uninjured hand in his again. “It’s okay, Bebe-girl. Surgery is not scary at all, okay? And I bet you get a really cool plate in your arm, like my friend has. Instead of being only human, you’re going to be part machine! How cool is that?”

“Like a robot?” she asked quietly, a fat tear that had been welling up since Laura had broken the news finally rolling down her cheek. He reached over for a tissue and dried her face. 

“Like the coolest human-robot hybrid ever. You know, I’ve got some pins in my elbow. Fell out of a tree just like you did.” He rolled up his sleeve to reveal the old scar, barely visible as a dark line against his dark skin. “Had to have surgery too, but now I’m part machine, and look at me!” He flexed his arm muscles for show, and she giggled. “Stronger than ever, just like you’ll be.” 

“Unca Poe, do you think I’ll end up with muscles just like that?”

Poe was smiling down at them, and Finn was glad to see some of the stress has eased away from his face. “I don’t know, if you do, you might be me at thumb war.”

Bebe’s eyes lit up, and she squeezed Finn’s hand. “Nurse Finn, do you think you could beat Unca Poe at thumb war? I _never_ beat him.”

Finn pretended to eye Poe speculatively. Not that looking at Poe was a hardship. “I think I could take him.”

“Unca Poe, maybe Finn could come over for dinner and watch a movie with us and maybe you could kiss him goodnight cuz that’s what Suzi told me people do on dates and I heard you tell Auntie Jess that you were thinking about dating again after Steven and-”

Poe forced out an awkward laugh. “Okay, Bebe.” His olive cheeks were bright red, which Finn thought was adorable.

“Let me just get you guys ready to go,” Finn said into the awkward silence. He began removing sensors and the IV drip. He helped Bebe into a wheel chair, which she was immediately delighted with, and rolled her to the front desk, where he walked Poe through the paperwork. It wasn’t strictly part of his job, but he couldn’t help himself. Poe went to bring the car around as Finn waited with Bebe, rolling her around the loading area to make her laugh.

Poe bundled her into the back seat, buckling her in before placing a kiss on her forehead. He turned around to Finn. “Thank you so much, Finn. Seriously, I don’t know how I could have gotten through all of this without you.”

“No problem, just doing the job.” 

“You, um…you wouldn’t happen to be free for coffee or drinks or anything at some point?”

Finn smiled, and pulled out a pen. He took the hospital paperwork from Poe’s hand and wrote his number across the top of one of the pages. “I’m free at a lot of points. I’d love to.”

“Okay. Okay, cool.” 

They stood there for a second, smiling absurdly at each other, before Finn looked pointedly at the car and Poe jumped, hurrying around to the driver’s side. “I’ll call you,” he said, grin flashing on his face before he got in and drove away.

Finn began rolling the wheelchair back. _Hell of a day_ , he thought.


	35. "How do I say passive-aggressively say 'fuck you' in a flower?"

Demidudeallnigga on tumblr asked for the otp prompt making the rounds about passive aggressively saying "fuck you" with flowers.

* * *

 

The customer stalked in, and Poe glanced up from the order form. The man’s eyes were fuming, and Poe was taken aback. “One minute,” he mouthed over the phone. “Yes, Bobby, I promise that it’ll match her dress. Magenta _is_ a type of pink. So is fuchsia. I swear she’ll be perfectly happy.” Poe settled the phone back on its hook. “Teenagers,” he said by explanation. 

The man - the gorgeously built young man, Poe couldn’t help but note - grunted, and slapped a twenty dollar bill down on the desk. “How do I passive-aggressively say ‘fuck you’ in a flower?”

Poe tapped his chin. “That depends. Who’s the ‘fuck you’ to? Former lover? Soon-to-be former lover? Coworker? Stranger on the street who looked at you funny?”

“Soon-to-be former boss.”

“Hmmm. Do you need a reference out of it?”

“No. Don’t need a reference from a two-faced, scheming-”

“Let it all out.”

A smile slipped out in between adjectives. “yellow-bellied-”

“Oh, yellow-bellied, I haven’t heard that in ages.”

The man paused and took a breath. Poe leaned over his counter, propping his head on his hand. “Oh no, don’t stop. You gotta keep going, buddy. I need to know how it ends. Rascal? Scalawag? _Scoundrel?”_ Poe whispered conspiratorially. 

The man smirked. “Let me start over. You know that viral video, the one with the woman dancing around the empty office holding up the signs explaining why she’s quitting?”

“Oh yeah, that was a good one.” Poe was pretty sure this was the least boring interaction he’d had all day.  All week, maybe.

“I want to do something like that. I want to quit. I want them to know I’m quitting. I want to quit in the most spectacular way imaginable. First Order will remember the name Finn Turner.”

Poe looked down at the twenty. “And that’s all you’ve got, huh?”

Finn glanced at the bill, then back up at Poe, sheepish. “Well, I’m about to be unemployed, you see…”

Poe’s laughter crept up on him, and the man brightened when Poe muffled it in his elbow. “Okay, okay. I have to know, what led you to flowers for the big ‘fuck you’? Not that I’m not honored you’re visiting my humble shop.”

“Oh, you own this place?” 

“Yeah. Poe Dameron. Of Poe’s Garden.” Poe stood and held out his hand, receiving a firm shake in return.

“So _you’re_ Poe.”

Poe raised an eyebrow. “You know me?”

Finn shook his head. “Of you. My boss hates you.”

Poe narrowed his eyes. “What, where did you say you were from again?”

“First Order. Up the block?”

Poe’s eyes went wide and he grasped Finn’s hand. “Wait, are you telling me you’re giving me the opportunity to say ‘fuck you’ to _Kylo Ren?_ That fucker wouldn’t complete my contract. I lost a thousand dollars on that asshole.”

Finn grinned. “That’s not the way he tells it.”

Poe straightened, crossing his arms over his chest. “Well he can fuck off.”

“Exactly.” Finn waggled his eyebrows.

Poe nodded. “Okay, I’m in. What do you want to do?”

——————————-

“Who did this?” Kylo roared at the shuddering secretary. The smell of rotten flowers was overwhelming, coming from a dozen different white boxes in Kylo’s office.

“I’m not sure, sir. I just signed to let them in, but the boxes aren’t marked.”

“And you didn’t notice the smell then?” Kylo waved at the swarm of fruit flies in front of him.

“I- I- no, sir. I didn’t.”

“Well, get them out of here. And get me Finn. He should have the notes prepared for my 9 o’clock.”

The secretary gulped. “Oh, um, sir. Finn quit this morning.” At Kylo’s bulging eyes, the secretary backed away. “I’ll just go get maintenance, sir.”

——————————

From the cafe, they watched Kylo rage in his office, Finn wincing as something went flying. 

“I mean, it wasn’t even that horrible of a thing. Just dumpster flowers. That dude is unhinged.” Poe took a sip of his tea.

“Agreed.“ Finn held up his latte. “To successful separations.”

Poe clinked his cup against Finn’s. “To revenge.”

“Hey, you doing anything this evening? My friend Rey’s band is playing, it would be nice to have someone to tag along with.”

Poe eyed Finn speculatively over his cup. “Sounds fun. Does this mean I get to dance with you?”

“Sure. I mean, does twerking count as dancing?”

Poe choked on his tea, then burst into laughter. “I like your style, Finn.”

Finn smiled brightly. “I like yours too, Poe.”


	36. Angry Kiss

zabzab on ao3 asked for an “angry kiss” from [this list of kisses.](http://animalasaysrauer.tumblr.com/post/143737727321/send-me-a-number-and-a-pairing-and-ill-do-a) So I thought, hmm, angry kiss, what better way to bring back the senators’ sons au from chapter 25? Did anyone order angst with their coffee this morning? Have some more impossible love, @beautifullights1 :)

* * *

 

Poe exited the limo and smiled for the immediate wave of flash photography. He knew his job, and he was good at his job. Looking put together, classy, and above all else, being a charming example for the gay community to hold up as a beacon. Be impeccable, spotless, and on the path to becoming the first openly gay male US senator. That is, when Pops finally decided to step down from his seat, or didn’t get reelected, like that would happen. Or once his father decided to run for President.

It’s not that Poe didn’t _want_ the political career. He’d practically grown up in Washington, DC; this was pretty much the only world he’d ever known. But he needed a fucking break, or he was going to do something he’d regret. Or his father would regret, which would be worse.

All of this was running through his mind as did the standard smile, wave, and pose as he walked into the benefit. He paused to give a reporter a sound bite on the charity the benefit was supporting, something written and canned and memorized in the limo on the way over.

When there was a commotion back at the line of limos, both Poe and the reporter turned, and the reporter, sensing a story, mumbled a goodbye to Poe and scrambled away. And there he was, Finn, looking tall and handsome in a striking blue suit, opening the limo door and helping someone out. Helping his date out. His lovely, gorgeous, _female_ date. Because Finn wasn’t out, of course; couldn’t be out. And even though somewhere deep inside Poe, he knew this wasn’t Finn flaunting a date in front of him, Poe still clenched his fist and turned away from the beautiful couple, striding into the benefit to find the bar.

Yeah, he needed a break.

\----------------------

The thing about it was, Finn did it so well, Poe thought bitterly as he forced himself to only take a small sip of the whiskey he’d gotten at the bar. It wouldn’t do to get drunk in public, he could just hear his dad saying over his shoulder.

Finn was attentive to his date. He held her door, he pushed in her chair, he got her a drink. He was the perfect gentleman. Even from across the room, Poe could see Finn laugh at something she said, and he made it look so genuine, like he was truly enjoying her company. Poe’s fingers tightened around his glass as he imagined himself in her shoes. Himself with all of Finn’s attention. In public. Instead of being Finn’s side piece for blowjobs and quickies in the bathroom.  

Poe knew he was in a mood. When Finn’s eyes finally found his across the ballroom, Poe couldn’t work up the smile and head tilt that meant “Meet me in the bathroom in 5.” Instead, he put down the whiskey before he could overindulge and stalked out.

The bathroom was empty, for which he was grateful as he leaned over the counter and stared at himself in the mirror. _Just need a fucking break, is all._ A fucking vacation, where maybe he could go and meet a cabana boy and get fucking Finn Talbot off of his fucking mind. Finn Talbot, who’s smile lit up Poe’s world like a ray of fucking sunshine. _Fuck._

When the door opened, Poe hastily turned on the water and pretended to be washing his hands. When he glanced back up, Finn was standing right behind him. Their eyes met in the mirror, then Poe’s gaze slid away again as he shook his hands off and reached for a towel.

“Something wrong?”

Poe managed to make his laugh come out casually instead of manic. “No, everything is peachy keen. You should get back to your _date_.”

Finn narrowed his eyes. “Alright. I thought maybe we’d-”

“Oh, I’m sorry, did you need a quick blow? Want to use my mouth, use me?” Poe realized he’d ripped the paper towel in two and turned away to throw it in the trash.

Finn’s brow furrowed. “If you’re not happy with our arrangement, that’s fine. We can just walk away. But don’t make it sound like you weren’t getting just as much out of it as I was.”

“Oh, go back to your girl.”

“She’s the daughter of a major donor. She hardly qualifies as ‘my girl.’” Finn took a step toward him, and Poe wanted to warn him that that was a very, very bad idea right now.

“You look good together. You should consider it.”

“Consider what?” Finn took another step, and Poe was pinned against the counter, no place to move, nowhere to go, no place to lash out.

“Consider making her your cover. It’d be smart. And then I’ll know. And I won’t be blindsided.”

“Poe, you’re not making sense.”

Poe wanted to scream in frustration. How could he not see? And so he lashed out in the only direction he could - toward Finn. He crushed their mouths together, teeth clacking against teeth, and Poe tasted a little blood and thought, _good._ He felt Finn pushing on his chest and pulled away, because fuck if he would continue if Finn didn’t want this, if Finn didn’t feel what this was between them. But then Finn’s hands wrapped into the lapels of his suit coat and he pulled Poe back against him, hard, his tongue sweeping into Poe’s mouth as Poe’s arms came around him.

They broke apart, panting, foreheads leaning against each other. “Tell me what you want, Poe.”

“I want _you_. I want you by my side. I want to bring you drinks or have you bring me drinks or however it would work. I want to be _her_. I want you to laugh at my jokes and smile only for me. I want you.” Poe’s hands had clenched into fists at Finn’s back, and he loosened them deliberately.

“I want you, too.” Finn’s voice was quiet. “That’s the first time I’ve ever said that to a man. That’s the first time I’ve ever meant it to anyone.”

Poe brushed his lips across Finn’s, licking away the blood on his lip.

Finn let out a shaky sigh. “But I want to survive, too.” As if too weary to hold his head up any more, he dropped it to Poe’s shoulder, and Poe turned his head to place a kiss in Finn’s hair. “You know my dad’s supporters. They’re not...they’re… Death threats would the the nicest scenario, Poe.”

“I could protect you.”

Finn lifted his head again, and looked Poe in the eyes. “I don’t want to be a martyr, Poe.”

Poe wanted to repeat that he’d protect him, but he knew that all it took was one gun on the street and Finn would be gone. His arms tightened involuntarily around Finn’s body. “I know. You should get back to your date.” He let his arms fall by his side, let Finn step away from him.

When he was alone again in the bathroom, he gazed at his broken face. “Christ, I need a break.”


	37. Met at a Masquerade Ball AU

Linatrinch asked for #34 from[ the au list](http://animalasaysrauer.tumblr.com/post/145460830641/send-me-a-ship-and-a-number-and-ill-write-a-short)  which is “Meeting at a masquerade ball.” I’m going to do what [@mythopoeticlicense](https://tmblr.co/mNPCPwVU70f0NiKG0P_btfA) suggested and just say “fuck it” to history’s problems with race and homosexuality for this fic, okay? Okay.

Complete with problematic fairy tale ending!

* * *

Poe knew he shouldn’t be here. He hadn’t  _ technically _ been invited.  _ Technically _ he was supposed to be finishing the repairs on the ship. But Poe had also been stuck on the damnable ship for three months, so if there was a party on this tiny island, he was going to find a way in, and since he’d had the fortune to discover it was a masquerade ball, well, it was like the whole plan fell into his lap.

He’d done the repairs at double the speed, and ‘borrowed’ a nice suit from the officer’s quarters. It was startlingly easy to find a domino mask in the small port town, and easier yet to slip in with a group of other young men, and before he knew it, he was dancing and drinking champagne and laughing elegantly with a group of young ladies and gentlemen.

“Has anyone seen the Prince yet?” the blonde asked behind her fan.

“I don’t know how you can tell anyone apart, we’re all wearing the same black mask,” said the young man in the black mask.

The brunette’s eye roll was visible behind her own purple mask. “We just know, darling. And no, Matilda, I haven’t seen him yet. My maid found out from his man that Prince Edward will be wearing green.” This new tidbit of information sent the group into a small tizzy.

Poe nodded his head at the group and held up his glass. “I think I’m due for another,” he said with a smile, backing away.  It wouldn’t do to hang out with people who knew the Prince. They’d eventually wonder who  _ he _ was, and how was he going to explain that not only was he a sailor, but he wasn’t even an officer?  Just a lowly assistant to the boatswain. He was here to have fun, not get found out.

He grabbed another glass of sparkling lemonade and ducked out behind a curtain for some fresh air, promptly running into another body in the tight space. “Oh, sir, I’m so sorry. How clumsy of me. At least I didn’t spill.”

The man turned toward him, and Poe was struck by the wonderful way the forest green suit matched the man’s chocolate brown skin. The man didn’t smile, but he didn’t look angry at Poe, either. He looked…distracted, Poe decided.

“Are you okay?”

Poe could tell that his question startled the man, and he winced internally. Asking after the health of someone was not necessarily proper conversation at a masquerade ball with a stranger.

He also saw the exact moment the stranger decided to answer anyway. He leaned against the balcony railing and looked out on the island. “I’m fine. I just hate it. The crush. Sometimes I just can’t stand to stay a moment longer. It builds in me and I just have to get away somehow.”

Poe thought about the scene going on behind them as he leaned on the railing next to the man. His half-mask revealed the most glorious set of lips Poe had ever seen, and he didn’t think he was exaggerating to himself because he’d only seen sailors the last three months. “Do you have to stay much longer?”

Those lips tipped into a smirk, and something inside Poe stirred to life. “Unfortunately, yes, I’m afraid I’m expected to stay much longer.”

“Damme. How much longer do you think you can stay out here avoiding it?”

The man laughed. “Why?”

Poe scooted closer to him, so that there arms were touching. “Because you look bewitching in this light. The lamplight on your skin. You were made for this moment.”

The man’s eyes widened behind his mask. “Bold words for someone you just met.”

“Ah, but that’s the beauty of a masquerade, no? I don’t know who you are, you don’t know who I am. We are bound by nothing.”

“I wish that were true.“ The wistfulness in the man’s tone made Poe’s heart ache.

“Why can’t it be?” Poe reached up, tipping the man’s head gently toward his. “I’ll be gone in the morning. There’s only now.”

“And nothing between us.” The man’s face inched closer to his.

“Nothing, except this,” Poe whispered as he brushed his lips across his companion’s. The man turned fully into Poe’s arms, deepening the kiss, their masks knocking against each other.

He pulled back, breathing heavily, running a thumb across Poe’s bottom lip. “As nice as that was, I must return to the ballroom.”

Poe saw the tension creep back into the man’s eyes again. He wished he could help the man relieve it. He bit his lip, considering the problem. “You know what might work?

“What’s that?”

“A companion. Someone to attach yourself to, an ear you can whisper sly comments in, a set of arms for every dance.”

There was the smirk again. “And when they comment that I’ve been with the same companion all night? Surely you know that more than two dances in one night constitutes a betrothal.”

Poe shrugged delicately. “I’ll remind you again, it’s a masquerade. They don’t know who we are, so who’s to expect a ring in the morning?”

The man’s eyes narrowed behind his mask as he considered it. Finally, he straightened, holding out his arm. “What shall I call you?”

“Poe,” he answered, sliding his arm around the other man’s. They were of a height, Poe realized, as he looked directly into those lovely brown eyes. “And you?”

The man hesitated for a moment. “Finn,” he said finally, nodding at Poe.

Poe pulled back the curtain for them, and they discretely entered back into the ballroom. Poe pressed a glass into Finn’s hand. “You don’t have to drink it,” Poe murmured, “But it gives you something to blend in.” Finn nodded at him.

They found a relatively unoccupied corner, and Poe entertained Finn with his observations as an outsider. He did his best to shield Finn from the large groups parading around the hall, pulling him into a dance to help him avoid an extended conversation with a particularly annoying woman in pink. They danced and made fun of the other attendees for hours.

As they swung around each other in time to the music, Poe found his eyes connecting with Finn’s time and time again. Too bad he was headed out to sea tomorrow. Too bad he was just a lowly sailor. Too bad tonight was anything but an aberration in his life. 

They turned and twirled, and the dance forced them to switch partners, and suddenly Poe found himself looking into the eyes of one of his officers. The man’s eyes narrowed as he looked at Poe, then grabbed him roughly by the arm, stopping the dance mid-song. “This is my suit!” He ripped off Poe’s mask. “ _ Dameron. Of course.” _ The officer began to drag Poe away, but stopped short when Finn blocked their way.

Finn grabbed Poe’s other arm, much more gently, Poe noted. He knew his face was crimson, and he avoided Finn’s eyes. “Is there a problem?” Finn asked, voice low, though the music had stopped and all eyes in the ballroom were on their little scene.

“This …  _ servant _ stole my clothing. I’m hauling him to jail.”

Poe watched the floor, but looked up when half of the ballroom gasped. Finn had unmasked himself. Poe frowned. The man was gorgeous, no doubt, but why…?

“P-Prince Edward, your highness,” the officer stuttered, bowing. “Show some respect, Dameron, bow to your betters,” he said as he pulled Poe down into an awkward bow.

“Edward?” Poe asked into the silence.

Finn looked at him briefly, his eyes saying ‘trust me.’ “This man is under the protection of the crown. The crown will, of course, reimburse you for any belongings he may have borrowed.”

“Of course, Prince Edward,” the officer sputtered, releasing Poe and nodding his head.

Sure he was going to die of embarrassment, Poe turned and broke through the crowd, ignoring the shouted “Poe!” he heard behind him. Unfortunately he’d run the wrong direction, and the doors he’d headed for led to the royal garden. Still, there must be some wall he could scale or corner he could hide in…

“Poe.” Finn’s voice was soft behind him. He felt Finn - Prince Edward - slip their hands together.

Poe turned swiftly. “I’m sorry, that was- You didn’t have to do that for me. I’m just a thief.”

Finn’s lips curved up into a smile. “I have a hard time believing that someone with your heart could be ‘just a thief.’“

“It was stupid, I just wanted to…see what it was like, up here, among all the sparkles. But you shouldn’t have done that.”

“Second-guessing a Prince?”

Poe found the courage within him to raise his chin defiantly. “Yes, I am. Why did you do it, anyway,  _ Edward _ ?”

“Because you gave me the best evening I’ve had in a long while, without knowing who I was. You saw how…distressed the ball made me and you worked to make it better for me. You’re a genuinely kind person, Poe. And now you don’t have to go to jail for it.” He squeezed Poe’s hand. “And Finn is the nickname only those closest to me know.”

Poe looked down at their joined fingers. “And what do you want from me in return?”

Finn raised his brow. “Nothing. You can find work here on the island, or you could catch another ship. Or-”

“Or?” Poe asked when Finn paused.

“Or you could stay here with me. Be my companion.”

Poe let out a bark of laughter. “The boatswain’s assistant and the prince?”

“No, Poe and Finn.” Finn raised their hands and brushed his lips across Poe’s knuckles. “What else matters?” Finn swept Poe into his arms, the kiss they shared both calming and urgent. “Give it a chance?” Finn whispered when they parted.

Poe stared into Finn’s eyes, trying to determine his sincerity. “Okay,” he said, linking hands with Finn once again.


	38. "If you want me, take me."

youandthemountains asked for “If you want me, take me” [from this list](http://animalasaysrauer.tumblr.com/post/143928878821/fic-prompts). Feel free to prompt me, just know I’m running at about a month turn around time right now. I love having a variety of prompts to pick from in my ao3 comments or inbox though!

* * *

Finn knew he was taking his frustration out on the sparring droid, and if the dying light in the eyes of the sparring droid was any indication, it wasn’t taking Finn’s frustration well at all. With a final upper cut, the droid’s jaw broke, the lights shut off, and it collapsed to the floor. Finn stood over it, heaving breath in and out, not angry. He knew he wasn’t angry, even if everyone else in the workout room had backed away from his fight with the droid. His meditation with Leia was doing wonders. He wasn’t angry, he was frustrated. Frustrated with a certain curly-haired, fast-talking pilot. _Idiot._

There was a loud beeping screech from the door way, and a polished robotic accent said, “Oh, my, Finn.” Finn turned to see R2D2 and C3PO at the entrance to the gym, and Finn guiltily stepped in front of the disabled droid, even though it had served it’s purpose and would be easily repaired. Finn was glad Artoo didn’t have the same defensive mechanisms that BB-8 had, because it was rolling back and forth in agitation. “Can I be of help, Finn?” Threepio inquired politely.

“Um, no, I’ll arrange for transport to repairs. Did you need something from me?”

Threepio was trying to peer around Finn at the fallen droid.

“Threepio?” Finn frowned. Really, he hadn’t broken the droid _that_ badly. 

Threepio straightened and looked intentionally away from the carnage. If droids could get disgusted looks, Finn imagined Threepio would be wearing one right now. “Yes, um, BB-8 sent me to find you. It needs some help in storage room B?”

Finn frowned. “Oh, okay. I can do that.” He turned back to the droid, weighing his options.

“I can arrange for my comrade to be sent to maintenance if you’d like to go help BB-8 right away.”

Finn hesitated. “Threepio, you know it wasn’t, like, personal, right?”

“Oh, of course not, Finn,” it reassured him, even as the two droids gave him a wide berth for him to walk out the door.

When he turned into the storage room, he was surprised to find Poe there, but figured whatever BB-8 had really asked for must have gotten lost in translation with Threepio. He steeled himself and balled his hands into fists. “What did you need?” he asked as he walked into the room.

Poe looked up, confusion plain on his face. “Me? I thought-”

Before Poe could finish his sentence, the storage room door closed shut behind him, and Finn heard the snick of locks sliding into place. “What?”

Suddenly Poe was beside him. “Who’s out there?”

There was a low beeping that was immediately identifiable as BB-8. “BB, why did you lock us in here?” Poe asked.

BB’s reply was succinct, even snippy. 

“What’d it say?” Finn asked when Poe scoffed. 

Poe turned to Finn, suddenly red in the cheeks. “Uh, BB told us to “work our shit out” if we want out of here.”

Finn narrowed his eyes at Poe. “Whatever could it mean,” he replied dryly.

“Sarcasm doesn’t become you.”

“Oh, it becomes you so much better, is that it?”

“Hey, if anyone’s taking the role of snarky loudmouth in our relationship, it’s me.”

Finn took a step toward Poe, crowding into his space. “So we have a relationship?”

Poe’s eyes darted away as he winced. “Friendship?” he offered.

“Bull _shit.”_ Finn crossed his arms. _  
_

“Finn-” _  
_

“You don’t get what you’re doing to me, do you?” When Poe refused to meet his eyes, Finn stalked away. “You’re… Poe, you’re the most important relationship in my life. When we escaped the Punisher, we bonded. When I thought you were dead, it killed me. When I found you again here on Dqar… When I woke up here and you were there for me… And then you just keep rejecting me and pushing me away. Poe…” He turned back. “Why don’t you want me?”

“Fuck. Kriff. Fuck.” Poe began pacing back and forth. “You think I don’t want you? Have you seen you? Your smile lights up the fucking room, everyone can practically feel the goodness radiating out of you. You’re fucking brave, and strong, and _entirely_ too easy on the eyes. Who wouldn’t want you? You could have anyone. Why would you want some old, battle-scarred, mind-fucked sarcastic asshole like me? Of course I want you, Finn. But you shouldn’t want me.” Poe stopped his pacing right in front of Finn, fists clenched.

“When I left the First Order behind, Poe, I left behind other people making every decision for me. No one gets to tell me how to feel, or not to feel. Not you, not anybody. When I say I want you, I mean it.”

Poe’s eyes were burning into his. His fists unclenched, and he reached for Finn, before stopping himself, his hand hanging in the air.

“Poe, if you want me, take me.” Finn held out his own hand in invitation. “If you want me, I’m yours.” Finn’s heart leapt into his throat in the silence that followed, but then Poe, in his characteristic burst of energy, took Finn’s proffered hand and pulled Finn to him.   

Finn met Poe halfway, and their mouths collided with an “Oomph” from Finn. Poe’s hands were suddenly everywhere. Sliding over Finn’s hair. Caressing Finn’s back. Spanning Finn’s waist. Massaging into Finn’s ass. Finn realized suddenly he should retaliate, but his hands got lost in the texture of Poe’s hair. He tugged on it to pull Poe’s face back. “Are you done fighting this? Or are you going to go all “I’m too old and broken for you” again on me?”

“I _am_ too old and broken for you.” One of Poe’s hands swept up his back.

Finn brought a hand down to stroke Poe’s cheek. “I’m not any less broken, Poe. But when I’m with you, I feel like maybe my broken edges are getting smoothed over, just a little.”

Poe laid his head on Finn’s shoulder. “I… want that, but I feel like it’s too late for me. And why should you have to spend your time with someone like that?”

“Because I love you.” Finn turned his head to press a kiss to Poe’s forehead. “And it’s not too late for you.”

“Stars, I don’t deserve you.” 

“Can I convince you otherwise?” Finn smiled when Poe smiled, just like Finn had intended. He whispered in Poe’s ear, “My convincing technique is pretty hands on.”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah. Lots of one-on-one work is necessary, too.” He tipped Poe’s head gently toward his so he could brush his lips across Poe’s again.

“That…that sounds tough.”

“Mmm, yeah, real tough,” Finn replied, pressing kisses along Poe’s jawline.

Poe’s hands came up to still Finn’s head, and Poe looked into his eyes. “If you’re choosing me-”

“I am,” Finn interrupted.

Poe took a deep breath. “Since you’re choosing me, then I’m promising, here and now, to work my hardest to never make you regret that choice.” He brought their lips together to seal the vow. “I love you, too.”

Finn gathered him into a bear hug, swinging him around to Poe’s delighted laughter. At the entrance, the door unlocked, slid open, and revealed an excited BB-8 who buzzed around their ankles, beeping excitedly. 

“Let me guess, it’s happy we finally worked out shit out.”

“Actually, it’s wondering when you’re going to move in. Something about your new reputation as a droid killer? It wants your protection?”

Finn laughed, sweeping an arm around Poe’s waist as they walked out of the storage room. “Well, I’ll leave that decision up to you, but I’d hate to leave BB-8 feeling unsafe.”

Poe snickered. “All in, huh?”

“Why not?”

Poe was silent for a second, then tipped his chin up. “Yeah, why not.”


	39. Pokestop AU

[@stardusteddameron](https://tmblr.co/mmiR5WahQO0zU63bKeN7TRQ) asked the greater world of their tumblr feed for this a few days ago but probably didn’t expect me to write it.

Stormpilot/Pokestop AU:

* * *

Finn had been reluctant to download the app, but Rey had convinced him with that stupid sunny smile of hers that got him to fall for anything. They took a walk, and laughed, and cursed, and joined the other crowds around Pokestops.   
It had been fun.

But now Finn was addicted. When he work up the next morning, he quickly determined where the closest Pokestop to his apartment was. He was running low on Pokeballs, and he’d heard something about eggs that sounded intriguing. He had an hour before he needed to head to work, so he set out to hit the Pokestop a few times.

The stop was a beautiful fountain Finn had noticed before, but never really stopped to admire.  It was a memorial fountain for veterans of world wars I and II for their town. There was a man sitting on the lone bench by the fountain, reading a book and sipping something in a Starbucks to-go cup. Finn had always erred on the side of giving strangers space, and opened his app to collect his Pokestop prizes, then perched on the edge of the fountain. The stop would refresh every few minutes, so he flicked through Facebook, and was making his way to his Tumblr app when the man on the bench looked up and smiled at him.

“I don’t bite, you know.”

Startled, Finn met his eyes. “Sorry?”

The man’s smile widened. “I meant, we could share this bench if you want.”

“Oh, no, I’m fine,” Finn said, even as he readjusted his seat because the concrete was biting into his ass. 

The smile turned into a smirk. “Whatever you say, buddy.” The man turned back to his book. His watch beeped, and he flicked through his phone, then got up and walked away. “All yours.” 

———————

The next day, Finn walked back to the stop, and there was the man again, book and coffee in hand. Finn decided to be a little bolder. “Mind if I sit here?”

The man smiled up at him and dashed a brown curl out of his eyes. “Of course not. Poe,” he offered, extending his hand.

“Hi, Poe. Finn.” 

They settled into silence for a time, but then the alarm went off on the man’s watch, and he flicked through his phone. He set it back down and sighed.

Finn glanced at him. “So do you come here a lot?” He gestured to the book and coffee.

“It’s become a recent habit. When the weather’s nice, it’s great to get out of the house, you know?”

Finn nodded. “I know what you mean. I’m about to head to an office job where I have to sit all day indoors. It’s awful but it pays the bills.”

“Ugh. Yeah, I’m-” 

Both men glanced down at their phones as they vibrated. Finn gasped as he spied Mew-Two pop up on his screen. Beside him, Poe yelled, “Holy shit!” They looked at each other, then down at each others phones, and simultaneously burst into laughter. “You too, huh?”

Finn was still trying to muffle his laughter. “Yeah. And here I thought you were this cool hipster dude with his actual-not-digital book.” 

Poe snorted. “Okay, let’s get this sucker.” He hunched over his screen, obviously thumbing a Pokeball into the right position. “Damn. Damn. Damn.”

Finn concentrated on his own screen, managing, somehow, through the luck of 1s and 0s, to catch one of the rarest Pokemon. “Yes!” he shouted, pumping his fist. 

“What? No! He vanished!” Poe turned to Finn, reaching over to point his screen toward him. “You got him! Oh man, oh buddy, I’m so jealous right now. What else do you have?” As Poe thumbed through Finn’s screens, Finn realized how close the other man had gotten. His heart picked up a bit. He was _cute._ And he smelled good. Like…something woodsy. Poe looked up, excitement on his face, and his eyes widened as he must be realizing how close his face was to Finn’s. “Uh, hi,” he managed, faltering.

“Hi,” Finn said with a smile.

Poe moved back, a blush moving across his cheeks. “Sorry.”

“No, it’s okay. Um. I need to head to work.” Finn stood.

“Oh right, of course. I should probably go, too.” Poe got to his feet, and they both started walking the same direction. “Oh, God, um, my house is this way.”

Finn laughed at Poe’s sudden awkwardness. “My bus stop is this way.” 

“I just didn’t want you to think I was trying to follow you or-”

Finn laughed. “No, Poe, I get it.” They walked a little further. Finn glanced at Poe out of the corner of his eye. “Hey, would you like to get coffee together sometime?”

“Yes!” Then Poe coughed. “I mean, yes, that sounds nice.”

“Can I see your phone?” When Poe held it out, Finn added himself as a new contact. “Call me when you’re haunting the stop again and want company. Or for that coffee. Okay?” Finn handed the phone back.

“Okay.” Poe nodded, a determined look on his face. He glanced up. “This is my turn. He held out his hand and Finn automatically grabbed it again, but instead of shaking it, Poe ran his thumb across the knuckles before dropping it with a smile. “See you, Finn.”

_Oh boy, I’m in trouble._


	40. I can't take it anymore.

[@beautifullights1](https://tmblr.co/mQYss7McoTzNeurm73_Lg0w) asked for #26 “I can’t take it anymore” from[ this list.](http://animalasaysrauer.tumblr.com/post/143928878821/fic-prompts) Fake marriage, bed sharing, mutual pining, all the tropes!

* * *

“Please have your ID ready. Thank you.” The papers processor looked bored, which meant she’d only glance cursorily over Finn’s papers, Poe hoped.

The small commerce planet required exacting paperwork to even enter the atmosphere. Poe understood why his contact had wanted to meet here; there was arguably no safer place in the galaxy. Of course with the First Order running around with the technology to blow up planets, no planet was totally safe.

“Thank you, Commander Dameron,” the processor said in a muted tone. “And your companion?”

Finn stepped forward and offered his paperwork for perusal.

“Thank you, Mr. Dameron,” she intoned.

Both Poe and Finn looked at her. “ _Mr._ Dameron?” Poe asked. The processor eyed them suspiciously, and Poe cleared his throat, wrapping an arm around Finn. “Silly me. Newlyweds. I forgot.” He leaned over to place a kiss on Finn’s cheek before pulling the man along by his hand.

“Poe, what-” Finn looked behind him at the processor, then back at Poe, confusion clear on his face.

“It seems that HQ decided to put a little extra padding on your papers, given your background. I’m going to kill Lana for not telling us.”

“So, we’re married now?”

Poe choked, then coughed. “No, no, just pretend.” He looked up at Finn, who was grinning widely at him. “And you were just joking. Got it.”

Finn clapped him on the back as they went to join the line for shuttles down to the mainland. Finn’s warm fingers folded into his, and Poe’s heart stuttered a bit. _Sure. Finn was totally okay with this. Right. Get on the same page, Dameron. It’s totally okay that you and your current number one crush in the galaxy have to pretend to be married. Totally okay._

He realized he’d tensed his fingers when Finn rubbed a thumb over his knuckles and looked at him inquiringly. “You okay?”

Poe willed his hands not to sweat. “Yeah. Yup. Totally okay.” _You gotta stop saying that, buddy._

\-------------------

Their room only had one bed. And Finn, of course, was taking it in stride. “I can sleep on the floor if you want, but this is way more room than I got in in the stormtrooper bunks. You could fit like four of us in this thing,” Finn announced as he sat down on the bed with a bounce.

“I should take the floor. Your back-”

Finn rolled his eyes, and Poe wondered if he’d learned that back in the First Order or if he’d picked it up around base. Poe would bet on the latter. “I wouldn’t be on the mission if my back wasn’t fully healed, Poe.”

“I know,” Poe grumbled. “But still, I should take the floor.”

“But you’re so old.” Finn maintained a straight face for about five seconds before busting up at his own joke.

“Ha ha, very funny..” Poe turned away from Finn to get something out of his bag, and let out a soft “oof” when Finn tackled him from behind, wrapping his arms around Poe’s neck and his legs around Poe’s waist to ride him piggyback.

“I’m sorry, Poe, but your face, I just can’t help it,” Finn said into his ear. “You know you love me.” Finn’s legs dropped down and Poe stumbled back, his hands coming down to Finn’s waist to steady himself.

“You got me,” Poe replied. “We should get ready to go. The meet’s in an hour and I’d like to do some recon.”

Finn left one arm looped around Poe’s shoulders as they began to walk out of the room. “Of course, of course. Kriff, Poe, I’m just so damn happy to be somewhere besides D’qar.”

Poe softened. The recovery process had been long and arduous for Finn. He clapped an arm around Finn’s waist. “Let’s go have some fun, buddy.”

\------------------------------

They were under surveillance, and so Finn and Poe had decided it was best to keep up the “newlywed” routine around the planet. Which meant constant touching, handholding, and the occasional kiss on the cheek, which Poe noticed Finn was particularly adept at timing.

“I didn’t realize you’d gotten married, Dameron. My apologies for not having a present.” Ralphie, Poe’s contact, said as the waiter brought them a round of drinks.

“The intel I need will be present enough.”

Ralphie waved that away. “Tell me, Finn, how did you meet? I never thought I’d see a life form good enough to tempt Dameron, here. Pickiest man I ever met.”

Poe opened his mouth to defend himself, but Finn beat him there. “Picky is one way to put it. Discerning is another way. Poe knows high quality when he sees it. It’s why he knew coming out here would be a good bet. You’ve never let him down, Ralphie.”

Poe’s hand involuntarily squeezed into Finn’s thigh under the table as he watched Finn finesse and charm the man. Finn never failed to impress him with his intelligence, his ability to assess a situation quickly and correctly to get them what they needed. He was the best partner. Finn’s hand covered his, and Poe realized both Finn and Ralphie were looking at him.

“Ralphie would like to see our part of the exchange,” Finn said, raising an eyebrow.

“Right,” Poe managed, pulling out the bag of credits and sliding it across. He took his hand off of Finn, determined to pay attention. He was the one who’d been doing this for years, after all. Just because Finn was angling for rookie spy of the year didn’t mean Poe could afford to sit back and be distracted. “So, what do you know about Kylo Ren’s whereabouts?”

When their business concluded a half hour later, Ralphie signalled the waiter. “You must let me celebrate your marriage.” The waiter brought over a shot and set it before Finn and Poe.

“Just one?” Finn asked curiously. Poe knew better.

“It’s traditional. You get to share it.” Ralphie waggled his eyebrows suggestively, and Finn nodded, seriously, even as Poe groaned.

Before Poe knew what was happening, Finn knocked back the shot, his adam’s apple bobbing as he swallowed, then turned to grab Poe’s face. Finn’s lips were on his, and he could taste the liquor as Finn ran his tongue along Poe’s lips. Poe opened his mouth, allowing Finn to sweep inside, the heady mix of alcohol and pure, straight, unadulterated Finn going straight to his pants. Poe brought his hand up to the back of Finn’s head, forcing the man closer as their lips ground together. _Stars, he’s so good at this, how is he so good at this_. As soon as it started, it was over, Finn pulling back, a delighted Ralphie clapping and toasting them.

\----------------

“That wasn’t necessary.” The words exploded from Poe’s mouth as soon as they were alone in their room again.

“Like hell it wasn’t. You want your name to be worth anything after this trip?” Finn arched a brow.

“That’s besides the point.”

“That’s what you always say when I’m right. It’s tired, Poe.” Finn paused. “ _I’m_ tired. I’m going to sleep. Take the bed, take the floor, I don’t care.” Finn pulled off his shirt and set it aside, giving Poe a good view - amazing view, he amended - of Finn’s scar and rigid, gorgeous back muscles.

As Poe sputtered, Finn lay down and scooted over, leaning on his side facing the wall and away from Poe. As he’d promised, there was still plenty of bed left. Poe considered the somewhat softer package he presented under his own clothes and decided to leave everything on. Mumbling a curse to himself, he laid down, stiff as a board, his hands crossed over his chest tightly. _I just won’t move from this position._ As he listened to Finn’s breath even out, assuring himself the man was asleep, he finally allowed himself to relax and close his eyes.

Poe wasn’t sure whether the movement of the bed or the small whimper woke him up, but he registered both instantly and turned from his side of the bed to the man beside him. Finn’s face was not placid in sleep; instead his eyes were scrunched tight and his lips moving, though Poe couldn’t make out any words. Another moan escaped Finn’s lips.

Poe tentatively touched Finn’s shoulder. Finn twitched, and jerked himself awake, eyes open but blind to the room. Poe massaged Finn’s shoulder and back, murmuring low words of comfort. “It’s okay, Finn. You’re safe.” _How long has the man been suffering from nightmares? Is he seeing someone about PTSD?_ Poe made a mental note to talk to the general when they were back on base.

Finn’s breathing slowly settled, and he turned to look at Poe before darting his eyes away. Poe didn’t have a hard time interpreting the look on his face: shame.

“Hey, no, it’s okay, buddy. This is totally normal. Talk to me, Finn, please,” he said, his voice sounding raw to his own ears even at the end.

Finn took a deep breath in and out. “I’m okay.” He curved inwardly on himself though, and Poe couldn’t bear the thought that he might still be ashamed. He scooted over to envelop Finn in his arms. Finn stiffened, then relaxed, melting against Poe’s chest. Poe began to rub Finn’s back in slow circles.

“I can’t take it anymore, Poe.” The statement was whispered against his neck and he barely heard it. Poe’s breath caught as he thought of the young man struggling so much and no one knowing about it.

“It’s okay, buddy, we’re going to get you help as soon as we get back to base. We can fight this.”

Finn leaned back, away from Poe, and there was the eyeroll again. “Not the nightmares. I _am_ getting help for that. Kalonia suggested someone, and I’m seeing him twice a week.”

Poe furrowed his brows. “Then what did you mean?”

Finn placed a hand on Poe’s chest. “I can’t take _this_ anymore. Are you into me? I thought you were, and then this whole fake marriage thing happened and you’ve been holding me at an arm’s distance and seemed so disgusted, but now here you are, holding me after a nightmare. It’s so confusing, Poe. I don’t get you at all.” Finn’s fingers were tapping on his chest.

Poe brought a hand up to capture Finn’s fingers. “So if I liked you, you’d be okay with that?”

Finn looked up at him through his lashes.

“Yes,” Finn said with a nod.

“And if I held you, you’d be okay with that?” Another nod. Poe wrapped his arms around Finn again and snuggled him closer, their mouths inches apart. “And if I kissed you, you’d be okay with that?”

In answer, Finn closed the distance between their mouths, the move sweeter than the night before but no less life-changing for Poe. He drank from Finn’s lips, then peppered kisses over his beautiful face. When he finished, Poe leant back to take in Finn’s radiant smile.

“So this whole time, huh?” Poe asked.

Finn pressed their lips together again before answer, “Yes,” the simple affirmation making warmth bloom in Poe’s chest.

“So I’m a blind idiot who wasted a lot of time?”

“Yes,” Finn laughed. “But to be fair, I could have said something. My counselor would have told me to use my words but when it comes to you… I didn’t want to risk breaking what we have.”

Poe kissed Finn’s forehead. “I felt that way, too,” Poe murmured. “You’re so brave, and strong, and intelligent. Why the kriff would you want to end up with me?”

“Shut up,” Finn advised, tucking his head into Poe’s neck and closing his eyes. “When you say stupid things, it’s boring and makes me tired.”

Poe chuckled, rubbing down Finn’s back again. “Okay, buddy.” He relaxed his head back onto the pillow, listening to Finn’s breath evening out before chasing him into sleep.


	41. Lizzy's kink omnibus

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> NSFW - rated E

Check out this doozy of a set of prompts that lizzy asked for here on Ao3: 

> Kink prompt 19 Multiple orgasms/marathon sex, 27 Body worship, 31 Dancing (dirty or otherwise), 36 Rimming, or 64 Striptease? Or all of them, if you like a challenge? :P 

I do like a challenge, Lizzy, I do. She’s asking for prompts from [this lovely list of kinks.](http://animalasaysrauer.tumblr.com/post/144411678171/a-list-of-69-kinks) Get your checklists ready folks, see if I hit all five. ;)

Obviously NSFW, People. It starts off NSFW so I’m just putting the whole thing under the cut. Also, um, I did very cursory research on tantric sex, so if it seems implausible, well, just shrug your shoulders, nod sagely and say “space sex.”

* * *

They kind of discovered it by accident. They’d been in Poe’s bunk, slowly exploring each other after having finally, finally told each other their feelings. Finn was new at this type of intimacy and Poe told him Finn made him feel new, too. And they were both eager, but happy to fumble as they learned each others bodies and what they liked. Poe had worked his way into Finn’s pants, and was stroking his cock, and Finn had learned pretty quickly from the way Poe’s eyes went dark that he was enjoying this as much as Finn was. This hadn’t been allowed in the First Order, and so Finn and the rest of the stormtroopers had learned to suppress the urges. Now, as Poe covered his mouth with his own to drink his desperate cries, Finn was fighting with himself, fighting those urges innately, even as he bucked up into Poe’s fist. Poe was murmuring dirty, naughty things in his ear, and the world seemed to explode around him as he stiffened, crying out, focusing on Poe’s smile as his first orgasm crashed through him. Then, Poe looked confusedly down where his hand was pumping Finn’s still-stiff dick.

“You didn’t come,” Poe said with surprise, continuing to slide his hand.

Finn paused, clutching at Poe’s shoulder. “Did I do something wrong?” he panted.

Poe wiped sweat away from Finn’s brow and smiled at him. “No, buddy, I’ve heard of this before. It’s just really rare, and I’ve never seen it happen.”

“Poe, you’re making me feel like a freak here.”

Poe had kissed him thoroughly, always his hand pumping steadily. “Not a freak. Means you’re so, so special, Finn. Means you can last. Means we’re going to have so much fun when I get the chance to ride this beautiful dick.” Poe’s other hand came down to stroke himself, and Finn tentatively reached over to stroke with him. Poe leaned his head into Finn’s shoulder and bit down as he groaned, coming all over their joined hands. Finn gasped, then came again himself, erupting this time.

Poe’s teeth released his shoulder and he leaned his head on it instead, breathing heavily. “Stars. Fuck. Finn.”

“I’m guessing that I did okay, given I’ve somehow managed to silence Poe Dameron.” Finn felt the vibration of Poe’s chuckle on his shoulder.

“Yeah, you did good, buddy.” He paused. “What was it like? Coming twice?”

“Oh, um, well I don’t really have anything to compare it to.” Finn rubbed Poe’s back once and considered. “I think my First Order training had something to do with it? Like there was a part of me that was holding back.”

Poe moved his head so he could kiss Finn’s neck. “Normally I’d say holding back was a bad thing, but I think, in this case, it’s going to be so, so good, Finn.”

Finn laughed as Poe’s stubble tickled him. “Good for you or for me?”

Poe looked him in the eyes. “Oh, honey, good for both of us.”

——————-

By the very nature of the war, Finn and Poe didn’t normally have a lot of time to devote to seeing just how many orgasms Poe could bring Finn to before he actually came. They talked about it, though. Poe, especially, liked to fantasize about having Finn to himself for a good chunk of time so he could test the limits on Finn’s endurance. Finn was beginning to think this free time was as mythical as most of the outer rim planets thought Luke Skywalker was, so he was unprepared for Poe’s parsec-wide grin as he greeted him with a kiss one afternoon after a mission.

“What’s got you in such a good mood?”

Poe pulled Finn into an alcove and kissed him more thoroughly. When he pulled back, Finn noticed Poe’s eyes were almost all black. “We’re being rewarded for that last mission. I basically have orders from the General to take you somewhere off planet and fuck you until you can’t see straight.”

Finn choked, then coughed. “Organa said that?”

The look on Poe’s face was comical as he tried to deal with Leia Organa and sex in the same thought process. “Stars, no, she’s giving us the R and R time, _I_ said the ‘fucking’ thing. Kriff, Finn.”

“You begged, didn’t you?”

“No.” But Poe grinned. “Okay, Leia’s exact words may have been ‘if I say yes will you shut the kriff up about it?’”

“A part of me wants to be appalled at your lack of respect for your superior officer,” Finn started, cupping Poe’s face in his hands. “But the rest of me is screaming ‘hell, yes’ so I guess it evens out.”

Poe leaned his forehead against Finn’s. “What did I do to deserve you?”

“Kriff if I know. I’m still trying to figure that out,” Finn teased, his voice light.

“I hope you don’t ever figure it out.” Poe brushed his nose against Finn’s, then looked him in the eye and grinned. “How soon can you be ready to get off planet?”

“We live together, Poe. You know exactly how much stuff I have. Or don’t have, as the case were.”

Poe pulled out of his arms and slapped his ass lightly. “Well then, let’s hop to it! We have a record to set.”

“Where are you taking us?”

“Someplace where we won’t be disturbed, but has easy access to water and food. We’re going to need to keep our fluid and protein levels up for this.”

———————

The place was fancier than Finn had been expecting for some outer rim planet. Clean, pleasantly decorated. The bed looked like it could withstand what they wanted to do. Poe had given fake names at the front desk, fake matching names indicating they were married which had secretly given Finn the warmest feeling inside. He put down his bag and turned just in time to watch as Poe launched himself at him, knocking him onto the bed. Finn burst out laughing. “Stars Poe, eager much?”

Poe’s face was already buried in Finn’s neck, nibbling there. “Why are you still dressed?”

“So I guess I’m not getting romanced, huh?”

Poe paused, breathing against Finn’s chest. “You’re right.” He moved off of Finn so quickly, Finn was left sputtering and stammering.

“I didn’t mean it, Poe, I didn’t-”

Poe clicked his tongue, pulling Finn off of the bed. “You’re right,” he repeated. “How often do I get to actually take you on a date?”

Finn considered it. “A date does sound like a nice luxury. Let’s do it!” He slapped Poe’s ass.

He jumped. “Whoa, buddy,” Poe said, cheeks reddening.

“I learned it from you. If you don’t like it, just say so.” Finn’s hand caressed the cheek he’d slapped slowly. “But I have to say, I get why you do it. It’s such an appealing target.”

Poe cleared his throat. “We should go-”

“So you’re not going to tell me not to do it?” Finn grinned in victory, hand still palming Poe’s round ass.

“Do I have to say it aloud?” At Finn’s nod, Poe’s cheeks got redder. “I like it when you slap my ass,” he muttered into his chest. Finn grinned. He’d have fun exploring that later.

Poe’s hand folded into his as they walked out of the hotel. It was a novelty, to be able to walk anywhere hand-in-hand with Poe, and stroll, like they weren’t being chased down by the First Order. Not for the first time did Finn allow himself to think about what might happen after this war. If it included walks like this, with his man by his side, well, all the more reason to fight hard, wasn’t it?

Poe squeezed his hand. “Credit for your thoughts?”

“Honestly, I’d rather be diverted. What’s the plan?” Finn watched Poe’s face light up animatedly as he told him about a nice cantina he’d been to before. Finn let a smile spread on his face. “Oh, is this where you take all of your boyfriends before marathon sex?” People had expectations about him as the former stormtrooper. They expected someone stern, and someone who didn’t understand anything. Finn had chosen Poe because he was better about that, but it still pleased Finn to no end to be able to tease Poe like that. For a split second, there would be a look of horror on Poe’s face and he’d rush to try and deny it, and then it would click a second later and he’d smile and pull Finn over for a stolen kiss. Some punishment.

Poe was just finishing Finn’s punishment kiss when someone cleared their throat, and Finn and Poe hastily jumped out of the way of the door to the cantina, laughing. Poe had taken Finn to some cantinas on D’qar, and he’d been to Maz’s, of course, so when he walked into the place to see soft lighting and lots of dark corners, several of which had couples bending their heads together, he was pleasantly surprised. Poe led him to an empty table, and sat down beside him, like they did in the mess hall sometimes if one of them had been away for a mission for a long time. Finn immediately wrapped an arm around Poe’s waist as they waited to order. “This is nice, I was expecting-”

“Something louder?”

Finn laughed. “Yes.” The atmosphere swamped him. He took Poe’s lips, reassuring himself that this was all real.

They ordered drinks, and talked, in the leisurely way that they never got to do on base. After a bit of food, Poe pulled Finn up from the table and into the circle of his arms. The band was playing a soft, slow number, and they swayed together, Poe’s hand pressing into the small of his back, and his head leaning onto Finn’s shoulder.

“I know I made a lot of talk about the sex, but Finn, I need you to know,” Poe raised his head to look into Finn’s eyes, “I love you. I honestly don’t care if we go back to the room and fall asleep together and never do anything. Because taking this time with you, it’s worth it. It’s worth everything. It’s what I love.”

Finn stilled on the dance floor, taking in Poe’s earnest face. It wasn’t the first time Poe had said the words to him, but it felt new here, away from the hectic atmosphere of the base. “Poe.” Finn brought his hands up to cup Poe’s face and bring it in for a sweet kiss. “That was beautiful. I love you too, stars, I do,” Finn said as he pressed kisses to Poe’s cheeks. “But if you think I’m not taking you back to the room right now to fuck until both of us are senseless, well, then-” Finn was saved from coming up with an adequate threat by the crash of Poe’s lips descending on his, and then they were walking rapidly, practically running out of the cantina and back to the hotel.

As Finn closed the door behind them, he watched Poe with hooded eyes. “I just have one question, Mr. Dameron. Why are you still dressed?”

“I could ask you the same thing,” Poe said, and they both started to shrug out of their jackets. Poe reached for the hem of his shirt and pulled it up a bit, teasing Finn with the sight of Poe’s rough brown curls heading down his stomach before dropping the shirt back down again.

“Going to be like that, huh?” Finn asked, as he turned around to pull his shirt up over his back, one of the areas he knew drove Poe crazy. Sure enough, Poe moaned, and Finn felt a tentative touch before Poe pulled away again. He eased the shirt off fully. Poe had been the one who’d given him confidence in his back again, that had insisted that Finn’s scar was a badge of honor, not a badge of failure. Poe was the one who’d placed kisses along the scar, and had shown him exactly how much he loved all the hard work Finn had done to rehab his back. Only with Poe would he be bold enough to pull his shirt off, not only nonchalantly, but with intent to tease. He tossed the shirt aside and started to ease his pants down slowly over his hips, still with his back turned, so the swell of his ass started to show, and Poe moaned again.

“Okay, you win,” Poe said as he slid into the space behind Finn, tracing his fingers along Finn’s spine and helping him lower his pants over his ass. Finn felt Poe’s lips on the back of his neck and shivered.

“You’re not naked yet, how do I win exactly?”

From there it was a scramble, both men fumbling with each others clothes until they were both naked and laughing on the bed.

“You ready?” Poe asked, a wicked grin on his face. Without waiting for an answer, he ran his hand up and down Finn’s stiff cock. “Feels like it.”

“I’m ready. I trust you.”

“Stars, Finn, I love you,” Poe said as he pushed Finn gently back onto his back. “I want to show you how much.”

Poe stretched Finn’s arms above his head, leaving Finn feeling utterly exposed. It was a position he didn’t mind being in at all - as long as he was with Poe. Poe straddled his chest, their cocks bumping together pleasantly as Poe leaned over to run light fingers over Finn’s brow, his cheeks, his chin, following with his lips. He paused at the bend in Finn’s neck, seemingly enthralled by the curve there as his tongue slipped out to lick at the salt. He followed the shell of Finn’s ear with his lips, and Finn was already overwhelmed.

At his chest, Poe lingered over the curves of his pecs, teasing one nipple with his fingers and the other with his lips. Finn sucked in involuntarily as Poe crossed over his belly button. By the time Poe made it to the thatch of hair at the base of his cock, Finn was arching his hips up in a vain attempt to seek friction. Poe chuckled as he finally took the head of Finn’s cock in between his lips. Finn’s hips shot up again, and he brought a hand down to tangle in Poe’s curls. Poe moaned, encouraging him, and Finn wrapped his fingers in further, pushing Poe down lower on his cock. Poe hollowed his cheeks, and the suction pushed Finn over the edge, stars bursting behind his eyes as his first climax rolled through him. Finn groaned, pulling at Poe’s hair, and Poe popped off, lips shiny and red, grin wide. ‘Still with me?”

“Oh yeah,” Finn replied, breath still coming fast.

“One down,” Poe added as he looked up at Finn from between his thighs. They’d never had time for more than two before. The devilish look on Poe’s face told Finn he wasn’t stopping any time soon.

Poe spread Finn’s thighs apart, his still hard cock bobbing. He licked across Finn’s perineum, before parting Finn’s cheeks and delving into Finn’s hole. His tongue worked around Finn’s rim and Finn arched his hips. Poe made a sound against his hole and gripped his hips, holding him still. His tongue darted inside, and Finn brought his hand back up to the slats of the headboard, wrapping his hand around and squeezing tight in an effort not to move his hips. Poe worked a finger in alongside his tongue, and Finn’s hips bucked against Poe’s strong hold.

“Fuck, Poe,” Finn exhaled.

Poe’s moan vibrated his rim, and his finger swiped across Finn’s prostate and Finn’s eyes went blind again, groaning as he filled with bliss. Poe didn’t stop to gloat, but kept going, pressing his finger and tongue into Finn again and again, and Finn’s high didn’t crash. It pulsed within him, going on and on. Poe’s name was dropping from his lips endlessly.

Poe finally eased back, leaving his finger in, but leaning back to bring Finn’s face into view. “Really?” he asked as Finn continued to ride the wave of his orgasm. Finn managed a small nod as he slowly came down. “Fuck, Finn, that’s amazing. I’d say I wish I was you, but man, I love knowing I’m doing this to you.”

“Are you going to ride me or not?”

“Getting tired?”

Finn smiled down at him. “Just seems unfair. Get up here.”

Poe crawled up, smiling as he kissed Finn. “But I like doing that.”

Finn released his hands to curl around Poe’s neck. “I know, but you know what else you like?” One of Finn’s hands swept down Poe’s back to run through the gap between Poe’s cheeks.

“You make a compelling argument.” Poe leaned over to grab the lube from the side of the bed. “Here.”

Finn loved fingering Poe into submission. Almost nothing else would tame the pilot, but three fingers twisting inside of him? As Finn worked up to that, Poe collapsed on his chest, nibbling at the hollow of his neck. He was completely vulnerable, the only time he ever got this way. Only for Finn. He knew Poe was ready when Poe began grinding against Finn’s fingers. He slipped his fingers out and Poe moaned, lifting himself off of Finn’s chest finally so that he could scoot back and take Finn’s cock. He guided Finn to his stretched hole, sinking down with a look of bliss on his face.

“There you go, baby,” Finn murmured, cupping Poe’s hips as Poe began to grind down. “Mmph, you feel so good.”

Poe steadied himself on Finn’s stomach, pumping up. Finn brought his hands down to cover Poe’s, and Poe opened his eyes, smiling down at him as he tangled their fingers together. “I want to stay here forever.”

“Is that an option? Please say yes.”

Poe laughed, before squeezing around Finn’s cock and silencing them both. He leaned over, their hands still linked, bringing them up by Finn’s head to give himself leverage to push back on Finn.

Time slowed, thinned out and warped between them, as their eyes and hands remained locked and the only movement was their hips. Poe brought Finn to the edge of the cliff again, only the cliff kept getting higher as Poe lifted Finn into the atmosphere.

“Poe,” Finn said, his voice strained with warning.

“You..there?” Poe panted in reply, looking like it was all he could do to not to explode all over Finn.

“Yeah. Come, come, Poe. Take me with you.”

Poe sealed their lips together as he ground down on Finn’s cock, crying into Finn’s mouth when he erupted all over Finn’s stomach. At the feel of Poe’s warm cum striping his chest, Finn tore his mouth away from Poe to groan and shot inside of him. Poe collapsed on top of him, not caring about the mess between them as he expelled all of his breath. Finn untangled their fingers to wrap his arms around Poe, petting through his curls and down his back.

“Fuck.”

“Fuck,” Finn agreed.

“I know I need to move at some point in the next millennium, but stars, I don’t want to.”

“Fuck,” Finn said, and Poe laughed. Finn joined him, bringing his hand back to Poe’s face and rubbing a thumb over the stubble on his cheek. Love swamped him. “Poe, I know nothing’s guaranteed, that we might not both make it out of this war.”

“Finn, we’re both going to-”

Finn ran his thumb over Poe’s lips to stop them. “No, shh. Whatever happens, I want you there. Okay?”

“What are you saying, Finn?”

“Will you be my husband?”

“Finn, stars, you undo me.” Poe brushed his lips across Finn’s. “Yes, yes, of course.” He dropped his head down back onto Finn’s shoulder, and together they stole a few more moments before pressing matters like cleaning themselves took them from the bed.

 


	42. Finn's Anatomy

Stardusteddameron asked for finnpoe tentacle porn from the [kinks prompt list.](http://animalasaysrauer.tumblr.com/post/144411678171/a-list-of-69-kinks) 

NSFW/rated E/it's tentacle porn so if that's not your jam here's your warning!

* * *

Poe made it almost back to his quarters before he pushed Finn against the wall and devoured his mouth. Finn’s arm came around his neck and pulled him closer, but turned his mouth away, breaking the contact. He ran his fingers into Poe’s hair and steadied Poe’s head to meet his eyes.

“Are you sure?” Finn asked. “I need to know. Because we can just keep doing what we’ve been doing, I’m fine with that. It’s fun.”

Poe tried to show Finn the utmost sincerity on his face. “Finn, I know what you have going on down there isn’t, um… what I’m used to. But I want to explore it with you, okay?” Poe watched the insecurity play over Finn’s face. “But if you don’t want to, that’s fine, too. We can just keeping making out, and the other stuff. I just want you to be happy.”

“I’m not sure if I could be anything but, with you.” Finn scratched at his scalp, and Poe smiled.

“Well, then, shall we?” He entered the code for his door and it slid open with a metallic hiss. He turned to raise an eyebrow at Finn, and Finn nodded resolutely. Poe took his hand and led him inside, sitting down on the bunk and pulling Finn down with him.

Finn’s fingers squeezed Poe’s. “It’s, um, well, it’s really different from yours. And it might look underwhelming.”

“We don’t have to move so fast,” Poe said as he laid down and pulled Finn down beside him. “Let’s just have fun for a little bit.” He began to play at the hem of Finn’s shirt, spanning his hand across Finn’s waist and feeling the stomach muscles contract.

Finn nodded and smiled. “I can do fun.” He reached down to pull up his shirt, and Poe helped him get it over his head. As soon as Finn’s chest was bare to him, Poe leaned in to lave over one nipple. He blew on the wetness, watching the nipple bead tightly, before moving to the other one.

“You’re so responsive for me, Finn,” Poe said when Finn moaned a little.

“It’s ‘cause you’re good at this,” Finn said on a shaky breath.

Poe chuckled, moving up to play at Finn’s neck. Slowly, he felt the man relax beneath him. Poe hoped it was enough to convince him that Poe had no problem with Finn’s differing anatomy. He loved Finn, and he was pretty sure - well, he hoped, anyway - that Finn loved him back, and he truly believed that no matter what, they’d find a way to make the sex work. He’d done his research on Finn’s humanoid species when they’d discovered it in the medbay, but the material had been pretty light on mating habits, as in there was no information whatsoever. _Whatever,_ Poe thought, as he nibbled on Finn’s ear. _We’ll make it work_.

They were still in familiar territory after all, even when Finn reversed their positions with a twist of his legs, and worked Poe’s shirt off to ravage him right back. Poe groaned when Finn’s hand found its way below his waistband. Finn had loved Poe’s particular set of anatomy as soon as he had finagled Poe into showing it to him weeks ago. Poe had learned that Finn was, in fact, very enthusiastic about his cock, and that Finn was extremely talented at giving head. When Poe had asked to reciprocate, Finn had admitted that he didn’t think he felt pleasure the same way Poe did, that he didn’t often feel aroused, like humans did. And he’d been raised by the First Order, of course, so no one from his home planet had been around to teach him about his anatomy and how it worked. Finn had finally conceded that he’d like to explore, if Poe did it with him.

Finn, fast worker that he was, had already shed Poe of his pants and was working his cock in long, slow strokes that were driving Poe crazy. Poe bit down on his lip and reached down to still Finn’s hand. “That feels so fucking good, Finn, but that’s not why we’re here tonight,” Poe said gently, before sliding his hand to Finn’s hip.

Finn hesitated at the touch, then looked Poe in the eyes and nodded, helping Poe slide his pants down and away. Finn took a deep breath and lay back on the bed, exposing himself to Poe, who was tracing lines on Finn’s powerful thigh. The tentacle, where Finn’s cock would have been were he human, lay quietly between Finn’s legs. It was lighter than his skin, just slightly, with a beautiful pink tinge to it. Poe realized that Finn was holding his breath, so he met his eyes and asked, “Can I touch it? Have you touched it?”

Finn shook his head, then got wide eyes. “No, I mean, yes, you can touch it. No, nothing really happens when I touch it. Sorry,” he mumbled as his eyes slid away.

Poe cupped Finn’s cheek. “Shhhh. Don’t worry about it, baby.”

He reached out his other hand to touch the tentacle tentatively. Finn had been right; it really looked nothing like Poe’s cock. It was thinner, for one, way thinner, but that was okay, Poe figured. That’s what toys were for. And it was kind of short. Again, Poe had a nice thick dildo that he rather liked. Besides, this wasn’t about him, it was about seeing if he could bring Finn the kind of pleasure he brought Poe. The tentacle tapered down to a small blunt point and when he ran his finger experimentally down it, that small head curled toward his finger a bit. Poe looked up at Finn. “Do you control that?”

Finn considered this. “Kind of? Like, I can sometimes.”

Poe wrapped his hand gently around the tentacle and stroked down, repeating the process. He glanced up again. “How does that feel?”

Finn squirmed. “I- uh- I’ve never felt like this before. Like, um, like there’s something warm in my stomach.”

“Maybe it only responds to the touch of your lover?” Poe posited as he continued to stroke Finn. “Like maybe you evolved to the point of not being able to masturbate? I’m telling you, it would have made my teens a lot less distracting, I bet.” He chuckled softly, and saw Finn’s face get caught between a grin and something else - pleasure, he thought.

Something wet started to coat Poe’s fingers. As far as he could tell, Finn hadn’t come, at least not in the traditional human sense. “Hey, you’re self-lubricating,” he said, holding up his hand to show the shiny slick.

“I didn’t know I did that.” Finn’s voice was part wonder, part embarrassment.

“It’s convenient,” Poe replied as he grinned. He paused his stroke when Finn didn’t smile back. “Hey, Finn, we’re doing great, yeah? Nothing that’s happened is gross or bad. Just natural and lovely and making you feel good, right?” He leaned in to kiss Finn’s lips, and lingered there for a bit, hoping to reassure Finn.

“Yeah,” Finn breathed when Poe released his mouth. “Yeah, we can keep going. It feels good when you- oh.”

As he’d been kissing Finn, his grip on the tentacle had relaxed. In response, the tentacle had thickened to better fit the bigger hole Poe’s hand made. They both gazed down with wonder as the whole tentacle sized up a little. Poe started stroking it again, and Finn pumped his hips up into Poe’s hand.

“Oh, Poe, oh man, oh stars. I totally get it now.” Finn was sounding increasingly desperate. “But it’s not enough, it’s like I’m reaching for something I can’t quite grab.”

“I have an idea,” Poe whispered. He rolled onto his stomach, releasing Finn’s tentacle and spreading his legs apart. “Fuck me. I bet it will feel all kinds of amazing, for both of us.” He reached for the lube beside the bed, and used one finger to slick himself up - even with a lubricated tentacle, better safe than sorry. He felt Finn’s presence above him - he’d shown Finn holovids of this, of what human sex looked like. The active head of the tentacle nudged next to his finger, widening his hole just a bit, the burn gentle and wonderful. When the head had worked itself in, Poe removed his finger and dropped his head down to the bedspread, his hips angling high for Finn.

The tentacle continued to work its way in, and Poe could feel it expanding to fill him completely. He’d never felt anything like it. The tentacle wasn’t hard, like a human cock would have been, but it grew to fit him perfectly. More perfectly than any dildo Poe had ever purchased. He’d never felt so full. When he felt Finn’s skin against his own, he knew that the entire thing must be in him, and he arched up into Finn, craving the contact. “How- how does that feel?” Poe managed.

Finn’s forehead rested on his back shoulder. “Like- fuck, Poe, like I’m home. Like this is where I’m supposed to be.” He moved his hips slowly, and Poe almost choked.

Inside him, the tentacle twisted and shuddered, swiping over his prostate provocatively. “Fuck. Finn, you’re, like, throbbing in me. Oh, stars, fuck, this feels so good.” Finn’s tentacle pulsed against Poe’s walls as Finn thrust again. He was so full he felt like Finn was practically up in his throat. Like Finn was made perfectly for him - because of course, Poe thought with a grin, even as he had to bite his lip for another thrust, of course Finn was made perfectly for him. Finn’s strong body was draped over his, and it was the weight that Poe liked about this position. Finn could pin him totally if he wanted, and Poe half-wished he would, just pin him and rut into him until they were both mindless. And they’d get there some other time, Poe knew, because damn if it was the last time Poe would be feeling this fullness.

The tentacle was rippling inside him, gyrating over his prostate again and again, and it was enough to make Poe swear off dicks forever. Throbbing, and vibrating, and pulsing, and rippling, all while Finn covered him and thrust slowly. Poe bit into the bedspread to muffle his scream as he came, untouched, all over the blanket, shuddering in Finn’s arms. Finn held him tight, pressing a kiss to Poe’s shoulder as he thrust in again before stilling, and Poe wanted to scream again as the tentacle pulsed within him, undulating as Poe felt cum coat inside of him. Finn stayed as it continued to pulse, each one adding more inside of Poe. The tentacle was shrinking but Poe felt brimming with Finn’s cum. As the tentacle slipped out, Poe collapsed to the bed, and Finn fell to his side, an arm slung over Poe’s back.

“Holy fuck.”

Finn grunted. “I’m trying not to be insanely jealous that you humans can do that all by yourself, because, yeah, holy fuck.”

Poe knew he needed to move, and clean himself, but he also knew that once he did, an obscene amount of cum would probably come sliding out of him. Stars, he was so full still. He kind of wanted the feeling to last forever. “Eh,” he somehow managed, “Masturbating is fine, but it’s way, way better with a partner, let me tell you.”

“Now that I know I’m capable of that, I’m never letting you out of this bed,” Finn said with a grin.

“Oh, oh no, not that, what a horrible threat,” Poe deadpanned, smiling when Finn cuffed him tiredly on the shoulder.


	43. Butt Painting AU

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rated E

A little ficlet inspired by [this photoshoot](http://beautifullights1.tumblr.com/post/148097552607/summerdiaryproject) and the info @beautifullights1 shared with me about the process of taking the paint off.

NSFW but not pure smut. This one took a turn on me toward the end, as they do sometimes.

* * *

 

Poe Dameron saw a lot of butts on pretty much a daily basis. So much so that his friends were always sending him pictures of various butts with a #butts now. Considering how much Leia Organa paid him for his services, though, it was very worth it. Once upon a time, he’d been a Brooklyn hipster piece of trash, trying to sell his art on the street. Now, he was a Brooklyn hipster piece of trash with a well paying job, making _actual_ money from his art.

So he painted butts. Like, literally, painted art onto butts, so they could be photographed by the illustrious Leia. Poe wasn’t sure how long her butt obsession would last, but in the meantime, he was getting paid, and he’d been using the opportunity to network like hell.

Plus it was stimulating, artistically. Sometimes she wanted something someone could get at a face painting booth on Coney Island, but one memorable time she’d had him recreate Starry Night. It had taken up both cheeks and part of the model’s lower back. Poe had been damned proud of it.

Sure, the process was awkward, spending so much intimate time with a model’s butt. That’s why Leia had kept him on: he was a good artist, yes, but those were a dime a dozen in Brooklyn. What made him stand out was how he was able to put the models at ease so they weren’t extremely uncomfortable and uptight by the time Leia got to work with them. Leia had made it clear that a long line of artists had come before him, and he could be replaced if he forgot the most important part of the job.

He’d been working the job long enough that he’s long ago stopped seeing butts as an object of sexual desire. He wondered if the film crews and editors for porn videos felt the same way.

“Today’s designs are in here,” Leia called when he let himself into her studio. Poe immediately headed for the design wall, where various pieces of inspiration were pinned.

“We’re all ready to do the Pride shoot?” The photoshoot would run in June and feature all LGBTQIA+ models.

“Yes, but just one model today for test shooting. Setup for the rainbow flag,” she called back, setting up her lighting. She may be a famous photographer, but she was also a notorious control freak: she hired no assistants to “buzz” around her, as she liked to call it.

Poe started to get his station ready. Leia had asked him to stick to the various pride colors but think beyond the flag for designs. He’d been sketching for awhile, and was excited to try out the first piece.

He heard a soft knock near him, and looked up from his sketch into the eyes of a gorgeous Black man. “Hello,” he said softly, wrapped in a white terry robe. “Leia sent me over?” The model positioned himself to look over Poe’s shoulder. “Is that what’s going on my ass? It’s almost too gorgeous for that.”

Poe stood, and put on his friendly smile, offering a hand. “Poe Dameron. Are you my standard rainbow?”

“Damn right,” the model said, and winked at him. He took Poe’s hand in a strong, confident shake. “Finn Fatai.”

“Finn, go ahead and disrobe for me, please.” Poe turned away to give him a measure of privacy, taking a look at his sketch one last time. “And, can I get you facing the wall, please,” his voice clinical.

Finn followed directions, and Poe rolled his stool behind Finn. “I’m just going to nudge your feet apart a bit,” he said, spreading Finn’s legs to give himself a fuller canvas. “So, are you from New York originally?” This process was going to take more than an hour, and models often got restless if he didn’t chat them up. The last thing he needed was a fidgeter, especially for this design, which was going to completely cover the cheeks and head up Finn’s spine. If Poe noted that Finn had an especially glorious ass, well, he noted it in the back of his head, thinking of it as an especially lovely canvas instead.

As he worked, they talked about Finn’s modeling, and the weather, and ‘how ‘bout them Yankees.’ It was amazing how much Poe could learn about a person when his face was hovering inches from their butt for the better part of an hour.

“What about you, man? Have you been to Pride?” Finn’s voice was deep, and Poe was definitely not letting it distract him from the delicate feathers he was painting.

“Of course. Wouldn’t miss it. Did you go last year?” Finn had told him that he’d moved to New York in the last year for his career.

“No, I just missed it last year, but I’ve gone to Chicago’s for years.” Finn paused. “So, uh, what flag would you fly?”

Finn’s hesitant question caused Poe to still his painting hand. Finn’s ass clenched slightly below him, and Poe hissed. “Don’t move,” he said, rougher than he meant.

Finn relaxed. “Sorry,” he said, and he really did sound penitent. “And sorry if I crossed a line…”

Mentally Poe chastised himself. _Keep it friendly, keep them comfortable._ “No, no, sorry, I didn’t mean to sound…”

“Growly? It was kind of hot.”

Poe didn’t let his hand stall again, though he wanted to. Okay, so obviously Finn flirted when he was in awkward situations. Flirting back would just be the friendly thing to do, right?

“Well, if I had a photogenic butt, I’d be getting the rainbow flag as well.” He continued the brushstrokes, hoping he was maintaining the “just your friendly neighborhood ass artist” line well enough.

“Has Ms. Organa actually checked to make sure you don’t have a photogenic butt?”

Poe laughed. “No, I’ve never volunteered to be a model.”

“Well, then how can we know?”

“Touche.”

“So...do you and your boyfriend go to Pride together?”

Despite himself, Poe smiled and chuckled a little. “Nope, I just go with my friends.” Maybe it was the fact that he was flirting with one of the models for the first time, but Poe was suddenly aware that his nose was within inches of Finn’s crack. As the awareness filtered through his body, it betrayed him by reacting, and all of a sudden, Poe was having to adjust himself on his stool.

“Shame,” Finn replied. “That sexy, scruffy hipster look you wear so well isn’t working for anyone?”

“We’re a dime a dozen in Brooklyn.”

“Damn shame.” Finn flexed his fingers and toes. “Hey, is it okay if I-” he waited for Poe to paused and leaned forward to rest his hands on the wall, redistributing weight to get comfortable.

Poe swallowed. He had the sudden image of Finn, pressed into the wall by Poe’s body as Poe slid into him, hands bracing his against the plaster, sweat-slick bodies sliding against each other. He shook his head, but the image didn’t quite dematerialize. “Yeah, of course, that’s fine.”

They lapsed into silence as Poe couldn’t force any small talk past his dust-dry throat. Finn seemed comfortable, though, so he tried not to worry.

“Okay,” he breathed out. “You’re all done. Let me just call Leia in.”

“Nice work, Dameron,” Leia said as she inspected his handiwork, and Poe’s ears flushed with pleasure. That one of the world’s most renowned photographers continually praised his work- well, it was quite the ego boost. “Finn, get some fuel and meet me on set in 5.”

Finn held his breath until Leia walked away, then turned with excitement to Poe, who quickly averted his eyes to Finn’s. “Do I get to look at it?”

“Yeah, of course, If you want to take a look…” Poe led him to a set of double mirrors.

“Oh, Poe,” Finn sighed. Covering Finn’s cheeks and lower back was a rainbow-colored Phoenix, flames bleeding into feathers as it flew gracefully up Finn’s spine. “It’s gorgeous. I never want to wear clothes again.”

Poe let out an awkward laugh at that thought and rubbed his neck.

Finn continued, “I mean, a sexy specimen such as myself can pull off pretty much anything, but this is just… a piece of art. Truly.”

“Thank you.” Poe’s blush moved from his ears to his cheeks.

Finn’s eyes darkened a little. “Well, aren’t you adorable.”

Poe coughed and looked away. “You should go get your fuel, Leia won’t let up for quite awhile. And make sure not to sit down.”

“Okay,” Finn said easily, and Poe glanced back to catch his small smile.

\----------------

Taking off the paint was a far more intimate process than putting it on, and if Poe had been in the business for longer, he would have hired an assistant to do the dirty work. Even as he waited for Leia to finish with Finn, he was sweating about what was coming next. See, acrylic paints required oil to loosen from the skin. A lot of oil.

When Leia was done, Finn made his way back to Poe’s station, and Poe had him against the wall in position again as he contemplated the task ahead of him. He began wiping Finn down with baby oil and paper towels as they chatted about how the shoot had went.

“I’m out of here, boys,” Leia called, her laptop bag slung over her shoulder. She always preferred to go over a shoot in her own apartment. Poe and Finn called out quick goodbyes before Poe reset himself to the task at hand.

Poe tried to ignore the firmness of Finn’s muscles as he rubbed the paint off of Finn, destroying his art. “Let me know if I go too hard,” Poe muttered.

Finn let out a little burst of laughter and Poe realized what he’d said. “I rarely find anything too hard.”

“Fuck.”

“Did I go too far?” Finn’s voice was half concerned, half flirtatious.

Poe laughed. “No, Finn, don’t worry about it.”

“It’s just that, um, your hands…” Finn arched into Poe’s wiping motions, and Poe paused.

“My hands?”

“You give a great massage.”

“That’s not actually part of the service,” Poe said drily. He hesitated. “I, um, I...have to clean everywhere.” He started wiping in between Finn’s cheeks, and Finn let out a shaky breath.

“Do what you need to, man.”

The image of Finn’s ass, slick with oil, lusciously round, was going to haunt his dreams, Poe knew it. Finn’s cock slowly hardening and raising up from between his legs, well, that was just going to leave Poe sleepless. The sound he made when Poe swept the oil through his crack and down, just grazing his hole, filled the studio indecently.

One of Finn’s hands came down, twitching before reaching his cock and grabbing at his thigh instead. _In for a penny,_ Poe thought, and covered Finn’s hand with his, moving them to his cock. He wrapped Finn’s fingers around the stiff cock, and Finn made a guttural sound above him. He helped Finn jack himself, the baby oil on his hand seeping down to slick Finn’s dick. God, he wished he had a condom, so he could flip Finn around and swallow him down and let Finn fuck his mouth. God, he was glad he didn’t, because this was already so wrong, so inappropriate. Above him, Finn was moaning, resting his forehead against the wall. His own cock was straining against his tight jeans, and Poe bit his lip.

Finn was going harder now, fucking into their combined hands, his ass and thighs flexing deliciously as he did so. Poe wanted to moan and sink his teeth into Finn’s cheek and eat his hole out and make him whimper. Bring him to his knees and pound into him from behind, just take him until they were both boneless and dead on the floor. Poe groaned, rubbing his cock over his jeans, needing some type of friction there.

Finn’s hand left his cock, bracing against the wall. “Finish me, please, Poe,” he said desperately.

Poe continued the pace until Finn’s hips stilled, and he shot out over Poe’s fist and into the pile of paper towels that had accumulated on the floor.

“Oh, God. Oh my God. Poe. Soooo gooooood.” Finn drew it out, panting as he collapsed further onto the wall.

“Shit. Shit. Shitshitshitshit.” Poe removed his hand. “Um. Uh. Fuck. I’m so sorry. There’s a shower in the bathroom, you need to wash down.” And with that, Poe fled.

He got as far as the hallway before he collapsed against the wall and slowly slid to the floor. He recognized the panic rising within him. _What have I done. Oh God. Leia’s going to fire me. Oh my God. Finn’s going to sue Leia. And me. Fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck._ He wasn’t sure how long this spiraled within him, but eventually he registered the door to Leia’s studio opening, and then Finn was seated beside him, clothed now, their thighs touching.

Finn reached a tentative hand for Poe’s knee, and Poe flinched. “Poe, what’s-”

“I shouldn’t have done that. That was so totally unprofessional. Oh God, I really liked this job, too, I-”

“Hey. Poe, breathe with me.” Finn took one of Poe’s hands and placed it on his chest so Poe could feel the steady rise and fall. “What happened there was between two consenting adults. I’m not expecting anything, like more jobs or anything. And you didn’t pressure me. Okay? I get it. I’ve been modeling long enough to see that happen. But you’re a fucking sweetheart, okay? You don’t spend several hours having a man paint your ass and then remove the paint without learning about them, right?”

Steadier, Poe looked up into Finn’s eyes. “Yeah?”

“Yeah. I feel like we already skipped dates one through three, at least.” Finn smiled, and Poe wasn’t generally given to hyperbole but the whole hallway got a little brighter because of it. He couldn’t help but smile back.

Poe rubbed across Finn’s knuckles. “So, um, despite this little freak out, would you like to go on a fourth date? Maybe drinks?”

Finn squeezed his hand. “Yes, I would.” He stood, and pulled Poe to his feet, keeping their hands linked as they walked to the elevator.


	44. Terrifying/Where do we go?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> rated E

This is the combination of two of the 5-sentence prompts I did earlier on tumblr, “This was, without a doubt, the most terrifying thing ever” and “So...where do we go from here?” both prompted by @sithofren

@beautifullights1 and @redlipstickandhairbows gave me John Boyega smiles and wet Oscar Isaac so I would write out what happened between the two, and who can turn down either of those things?

So, here’s a short little porn-with-feelings. Poe has lots of feelings.

NSFW - rated E

* * *

 

This was, without a doubt, the most terrifying thing ever.

Getting captured and taken aboard the Finalizer? Scary.

Escaping only to crash land, alone, on Jakku? Frightening.

Watching the last of the sun’s light get sucked into Starkiller, and seeing the laser slowly start to charge, with barely any hope that he could take it down? Horrific.

Holding Finn’s hand as they wheeled him, unconscious, off to the med bay, the smell of burnt flesh permeating his nose? Heart stopping.

Waiting for Finn to react to his kiss? The most terrifying 5 seconds of his life.

And then Finn’s hand was fisting into his shirt and pulling him back, and his lips were crushed against Poe’s, and Poe’s hand was gripping at the back of Finn’s head. He melted into Finn, pushing him into the corridor wall. Poe wasn’t sure if he was terrified, or if he’d never be terrified again, but it didn’t matter as he drank Finn’s sounds down.

“Your room?” Finn said in between kisses.

“My room,” Poe confirmed, meeting his lips once more even as he began to pull him along the hallway.

Their progress was hindered when Finn slammed him up against the wall and sucked on his neck, and again when Poe returned the favor. Honestly, the fact that no one had passed them in this corridor was going on Poe’s list of top ten minor miracles. Maybe the whole base was in on it, conspiring on Mission: Finally Getting Poe Dameron Laid.  Of course, the fact that Finn’s tongue was currently halfway down his throat as his hips ground into Poe’s was going directly to the top of the minor miracles list. No. Actually, going straight to number one on Poe’s You’re So Fucking Lucky This Happened to You List, displacing Poe surviving the fight to destroy Starkiller. Finn pulled back, a brow arched in inquiry, and Poe refocused on what was right in front of him. He smiled as Finn’s hand crept around his neck and played with the hair at his nape.

“Hey, where’d you go?”

“Just wondering ‘bout my luck,” Poe admitted.

Finn shook his head, then took Poe’s hand for the last few feet until Poe’s door. “C’mon, flyboy.” After Poe entered in his code, Finn pulled him in by his belt loops. “I think we’re about to see just how lucky Poe Dameron is.” He worked him back to the bed as Poe chuckled.

They fell into Poe’s bunk together, Poe swallowing Finn’s laugh as his fingers worked on Finn’s shirt. Poe straddled Finn, unable to resist his full lips, biting at the bottom one as Finn moaned. He broke off of Finn’s mouth to pull Finn’s top over his head, then slowly ran his hands over Finn’s chest and stomach. “Oh yes, I think we’ve established I’m the luckiest son of a bitch on this base right now. Fuck, Finn, you’re gorgeous.”

Finn pulled Poe down for another kiss, and his own fingers got busy. “Wanna feel you,” Finn said when he had the chance, and Poe helped him pull his shirt off. Poe froze for a moment, worried about what Finn would think about his scarred and pock-marked skin, his not-quite-as-tight stomach. His eyes must have betrayed him, because Finn’s reaction was to growl and flip their positions, straddling Poe and immediately latching onto one of his nipples. His fingers skittered over Poe’s stomach, making Poe suck in a breath. He pulled off, and blew across the nipple, both of them watching it pebble as Poe shivered. Finn looked up at him and grinned, and Poe had approximately two seconds to think, “ _Oh man, I’m in trouble,_ ” before Finn was pressing kisses over his gently rounded stomach, licking at a blaster scar that probably should have taken him out (that incident was currently residing at #5 on the List).

Poe was overwhelmed by the attention, overwhelmed with the need to reciprocate as Finn eased his pants down and licked over his cock. All he could manage was to run his hand over Finn’s short hair, scratching into the scalp. Finn mouthed over the head of his cock, flicking his eyes back up to Poe, who nodded his assent before Finn completely engulfed his cock, sliding all the way down, swallowing him.

Poe choked, sputtering as Finn’s head bobbed below. “Fuck, Finn, you’re good at this.”

Finn pulled off with a pop, and smiled at him. “Thank you. And you’re gorgeous.” He licked a stripe up Poe’s dick as Poe flushed. “Your dick is a thing of beauty, man. Please tell me you’re going to fuck me with it.”

This really just kept getting better and better. He arched his hips up involuntarily. “It’s all yours, baby, however you want.”

Finn hummed along his cock, taking the head in once more. “Well in that case, I’m going to ride you so fucking hard. Lube?”

“Bottom drawer.” Finn got off of him to find it, and Poe worked his pants off. Finn kicked his own off before he came back, and Poe sucked in a breath at the beauty of the man before him. “Stars, Finn.”

Finn’s grin was infectious as he straddled Poe again and their cocks brushed together. Finn slicked his hand up, then wrapped his hand around their combined cocks. He rested his other hand on Poe’s chest, flicking over his nipple. It passed through Poe’s mind quickly to be surprised at how good at this Finn was, before Finn started jacking them through his hand and Poe’s mind just completely shut off.

Finn’s slicked hand left their cocks, and he came down to crush his lips on Poe’s. Poe wrapped his arms around Finn’s head, holding him there, sweeping his tongue inside as their hips slid together below. Eventually, Poe realized Finn was fucking himself on his own fingers, getting himself ready for Poe’s cock. Poe’s mind reeled as he bit into Finn’s lip. Okay, there was no question anymore; Finn was way better at this than Poe had been expecting. Finn was way better at this than Poe, period. He laughed with delight into Finn’s mouth, and Finn’s lips spread in one of those smiles that lit up Poe’s whole fucking world.

“What?” Finn asked, peppering kisses up Poe’s jawline, still smiling.

“You’re- you’re incredible, Finn.”

Finn hummed again and took his mouth, still pumping his fingers inside of himself. His lips meandered down until they were sucking on Poe’s shoulder. “Mmm, you ready?”

“I think that’s supposed to be my line,” Poe replied. Finn just laughed and leaned back, reslicking Poe’s cock with the fingers that had just been inside himself. Poe groaned as Finn guided him in. He slid down until he was fully seated on Poe, enveloping Poe in his velvety warm heat. He sat upright, head thrown back, throat a long, lean column that Poe wanted to devour. Finn reached out to find purchase and Poe held his hands out, giving Finn leverage to slide slowly up his cock and then fall back down again, to their joint gasps. He ground himself in little circles that drove Poe mad with lust, and Poe started arching up into Finn, seeking the friction.

Finn bit down on his lip and started to ride Poe hard. Poe met each thrust, and Finn dropped his hands down to steady himself on Poe’s chest. Hands free, Poe grabbed Finn’s ass, spreading him and massaging in, pleased when Finn’s eyes tipped backwards in his head. Finn looked wild, and glorious, and free, fucking himself on Poe’s cock, riding him like they’d never have another chance to do this. Still, in the back of Poe’s mind, was the little voice screaming about how fucking lucky Poe Dameron was to be Poe Dameron right now.

He brought a hand forward and wrapped it around Finn’s stiff cock, pumping him in time with their thrusts. Finn cried Poe’s name, and it had never, ever sounded sweeter. He hunched over Poe, burying his face in Poe’s shoulder, still working his hips as Poe worked his cock. Suddenly, he was coming, painting Poe with his cum, and Poe groaned, coming with him, filling him up inside.

Finn heaved a breath and collapsed to the side, and Poe followed him, wrapping his arms around him as their breaths slowed together. They were a mess, Poe knew, and Finn was making it worse, or so much better, depending on how Poe thought of it, as he massaged his cum into the skin of Poe’s stomach and chest. Like he was marking him as his, his own, his property. Poe was scarily okay with that. And that thought is what prompted the question, which popped out of his mouth before he could think better of it.

“So… where do we go from here?” Poe’s fingers were playing along Finn’s skin, leaving a trail of goosebumps along his arm.

“We can go further than we did?” Poe smiled into Finn’s neck at his answer.

 _So fucking lucky._ Poe heaved a breath and decided to power through it. “I meant like, do you want to, um, be together outside of this room, or do you want to keep this a secret, or hell, do you even want to do this again.”  He knew he sounded insecure, but hell, he _felt_ insecure, because this was something he wanted so, so much, but only if Finn also wanted it. He leaned his head against Finn’s neck and prayed into the silence.

Finn reached up to cup Poe’s face in his hands. “I didn’t realize this might be a one-time deal.”

Poe let a breath out slowly. “I don’t want it to be.”

“Neither do I,” Finn replied, rubbing his thumb over Poe’s cheek.

Poe closed his eyes, leaning into the feeling. It made him brave enough to jump off the cliff. “Finn, I- I don’t want this to be just a physical thing, either. I want- I like you, and it doesn’t matter than you’re phenomenal in bed, although believe me, you are- but I like you because of who you are, not what you can do.” Poe refused to meet Finn’s eyes as he made this confession.

“God, Poe, you’re the sweetest man, I swear,” Finn said on a laugh, and Poe looked up, surprised. Finn was smiling at him. “There you are.” Finn rubbed his cheek. “I don’t want this to be just a physical thing, either. Although now that I’ve had access to your dick, I’m pretty sure I’m going to be insatiable.” His voice went lower. “Have you ever fucked anyone in your x-wing? Because I have fantasies, Poe, ohhhhh, do I have fantasies.” He laughed when Poe laughed, as if that had been his goal all along. “But I chose you for a reason that has nothing to do with your happily large package.” Finn’s thumb had migrated lower, where he was methodically rubbing along Poe’s lower lip as he bit his own. “You are, without a doubt, a quality man, Poe. The type of man who’ll make me proud to be attached to. So yeah, I want the whole deal, okay?”

Emotion was threatening to burst out of Poe’s chest as Finn’s lips dropped to his once more. Finn threaded his fingers through his curls, and Poe moaned, holding Finn tighter still, as tight as he could.

“Let’s hit the ‘fresher,” he murmured when Finn had freed his lips. Finn made a noise of complaint and swept his hand over Poe’s sticky skin once more, but let Poe pull him out of the bunk anyway.


	45. Tumblr first sentence prompts - batch 1

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you don't follow me on tumblr, then sometimes I ask for first sentence or short prompts when I don't want to write anything long. Notice, however, how each prompt becomes progressively longer. Oh words, I just can't quit you.

 

 

> **[redlipstickandhairbows](http://redlipstickandhairbows.tumblr.com/)** asked:
> 
>  First Sentence: The worst part about playing the perfect soldier was having to follow orders.

 The worst part about playing the perfect soldier was having to follow orders. Finn was regretting taking this undercover mission from the General. Not, as Poe had worried, because he was remembering his awful time as a Stormtrooper, but because he wanted to shout “Fuck, no!” at every order coming through his bucket’s headset. He took a calming breath. _Infiltrate_ , he told himself _, that’s all I need to do._ He squared his shoulders and executed the march command perfectly.

* * *

 

 

> **[redlipstickandhairbows](http://redlipstickandhairbows.tumblr.com/)** asked:
> 
>  With his back against the cupboards, he slid to the floor in a broken surrender.

 With his back against the cupboards, he slid to the floor in a broken surrender. Finn’s stuff - the stuff that made their house a home, really - was gone. Poe had no anger, no frustration, only a calm numbness that he knew was denial. He’d known Finn was moving out his stuff while Poe was on his latest series of flights, but he just hadn’t expected it to cut him so deeply. Finn was gone, because Poe hadn’t been able to give him what he needed. He bent over his knees and sobbed into his arms until BB came over and licked his hand, then rubbed her cheek against him. He wasn’t sure how long he’d been there, but the doorbell rang, and when he rose to get it, his joints were stiff. He opened the door, angling his foot so BB wouldn’t run outside. When he looked up, his heart stopped. “Finn?” Finn stood there, with a suitcase behind him.

“I couldn’t do it.” Finn opened his arms and Poe launched into them, crying harder into Finn’s shoulder as Finn ran his fingers through Poe’s hair.

* * *

 

 

> **[bakingstreetsarah](http://bakingstreetsarah.tumblr.com/)** asked:
> 
>  First sentence: "You're okay."

 “You’re okay.” Finn ran a light over the man’s eyes then continued to check for broken bones. “Just took a spill, worried the neighbors. What’s your name?”

The man blinked up at him, and Finn tried not to let the chocolate brown eyes and mile-long lashed distract him from his job. “Poe. Did I- I don’t remember- who are you?”

“Your neighbor called 911 when she saw you fall off your ladder and couldn’t wake you up. I think you have a mild concussion, and I’m worried about this leg. We’re going to get you all taken care of, okay, Poe?”

“Do you do home visits?” he said, waggling his brows, before letting his head fall back and closing his eyes. “Ugh. Dizzy.”

Finn smirked. “I think if you’ve still got it in you to flirt, you’re doing just fine.”

* * *

 

> **[beautifullights1](http://beautifullights1.tumblr.com/)** asked:
> 
>  "So." Poe waves his hand over the box with an extravagant flourish. "We've got 24 hours, a bed larger than my entire apartment, and an eight-pack of brand new batteries. What's your pick?"

**Take 1:**

“So.” Poe waved his hand over the box with an extravagant flourish. “We’ve got 24 hours, a bed larger than my entire apartment, and an eight-pack of brand new batteries. What’s your pick?“ 

“Better hand me the receiver,” Finn said, trying to hide his blush. Being stuck inside a hotel room gathering intel with Agent Dameron and a bed that had surely been made for sin was bad enough. Poe making innuendos while doing it was a bridge too far for Finn’s mental well-being.

Poe must have noticed his discomfort, because he walked the receiver over to him personally, sliding an arm around him. Finn stiffened, but when Poe whispered, “I’m sorry, baby. I know, not on the job,” he relaxed a little and smiled. It _was_ unfortunate that they were here for work and not pleasure.

**Take 2:**

“So.” Poe waved his hand over the box with an extravagant flourish. “We’ve got 24 hours, a bed larger than my entire apartment, and an eight-pack of brand new batteries. What’s your pick?“

Finn pulled Poe closer, linking their hands, their wedding bands shiny and fresh. “What did I ever do to deserve you?”

Poe swung them into a dance over the plush carpet of their honeymoon suite. “That’s a silly question.” He dipped Finn, and stole a kiss.

“Oh?” inquired Finn.

“You asked,” Poe said simply, as he guided them back to the bed and pulled Finn down with him.

* * *

  

> **[evening-black](http://evening-black.tumblr.com/)** asked:
> 
>  "I don't know if I'm up to this..."

“I don’t know if I’m up to this…” Poe trailed off, looking at all of the supplies they’d accrued at their baby shower. “What if I’m an awful dad?”

“Then it’s a good thing she’s going to have two dads, right?” When Finn saw that Poe was still frowning, he pulled him up from his position on the floor and wrapped him in his arms. “There’s no way you’re going to be an awful dad. It’s impossible. Didn’t you tell me you were going to make an awful husband, too? And look where we are now.”

Poe buried his head in Finn’s shoulder and breathed in deep, grounding himself. “Thank you,” he whispered, as Finn kissed his hair.

* * *

  

> **[linatrinch](http://linatrinch.tumblr.com/)** asked:
> 
>  for the sentence thing: "You can't just leave!"

“You can’t just leave!”

“Watch me.” Finn flashed Rey a wicked grin and shouldered through the door, blasters blazing.

Rey shook her head and powered up her light saber, cutting down a stormtrooper aiming at Finn’s back. “I’m going to kill you if you die, Finn. And then Poe’s going to kill us both!”

Finn didn’t respond as they cut their way through the horde of stormtroopers to the Millennium Falcon. “Then I’ll just remind Poe of the little maneuver he pulled on that outer rim planet last month. He owes me.”

* * *

>   **[linatrinch](http://linatrinch.tumblr.com/)** asked:

> I just thought of another one: "So I'm walking into this bar with the jackass and a honeycomb-"

“So I’m walking into this bar with the jackass and a honeycomb-" 

“Poe! Not right now!” Jess yelled through her headset as they wove through the stream of TIE fighters.

Back on base, Finn sat tensely in the control room, listening to the dog fight, and shook his head. “I don’t get how he can joke right now.”

Leia’s hand rubbed over Finn’s shoulder. “The minute Poe stops joking in a dog fight is the minute I start to worry,” she admitted.

* * *

> **[sithofren](http://sithofren.tumblr.com/)** asked:
> 
> Had it really been that long?

 Had it really been that long? Finn pulled Rey into a fierce hug, and never wanted to let her go, but she started squirming to let him know he’d gone on for too long. “I’m so glad you’re back,” he whispered, still clutching her arms.

“I’ve learned so much,” she replied. “I have so much to tell you.”

He glanced over at the pilot watching them quietly. “I have a lot to tell you, too.”

* * *

> **[redlipstickandhairbows](http://redlipstickandhairbows.tumblr.com/)** asked:
> 
> First Sentence: "You know, you could have just asked nicely."

“You know, you could have just asked nicely.” Finn poked Poe in the ribs as the pilot happily ate _his_ last honey cake. “What, were you raised by animals?”

“This is Dameron’s strange and highly ineffective version of flirting, Finn,” Jess drawled, and Poe’s cheeks went red as he kicked her under the table.

“She’s right,” Finn said, looking at Poe. “It’s highly ineffective.”

Poe coughed. “Is there something you think would work better?”

“You could invite me back to your quarters.” Finn shrugged delicately as Jess laughed at Poe’s face.

When he’d recovered, Poe placed one of his hands over Finn’s. “Would you like to come back to my quarters?”

Another lift of his shoulders. “Sure,” he replied as he stood with his tray. “I can come after my meditation time with Leia. You have supplies, right?”

“Supplies?” Poe asked, voice strained.

“Well, generally, we would need some type of lubricant, although I guess we don’t have to have penetrative- what’s wrong, Poe?”

* * *

> **[redlipstickandhairbows](http://redlipstickandhairbows.tumblr.com/)** asked:
> 
> First Sentence: "I'm sorry, but I think you dropped this."

“I’m sorry, but I think you dropped this.” 

Poe nearly fainted when the tall young man handed him a dirtied handkerchief. It was surely one of the deadly sins, how well the man filled out his riding breeches. “Thank you, sir.”

“Are you new here? I don’t believe I’ve seen you in the village before.” 

“Oh, I’m visiting my cousin. Getting some country air, you know. Plus London can be so boring when the Season is done. Mr. Dameron.” He offered his gloved hand, and the man took it, genuflecting to Poe’s surprise.

“Edmond, viscount Findleton. Charmed.” He smiled over Poe’s hand, which was still clasped in his for what had probably been an improper amount of time. 

“Likewise,” Poe managed, finally receiving his hand back from the viscount - _the viscount.  
_

“Have you been on a tour through the countryside? I’m going hunting tomorrow morning, perhaps you and your cousin would like to join me?”

“That would be- that would be excellent, sir, but I’m afraid I don’t have a horse.” Poe bit his lip, regretting how he had to show his lack of wealth so soon. The viscount would probably think he was out for marriage, now.

“I’ve got a full stable, I’m sure we can find someone who will properly seat you.” The viscount’s smile held some heat at the statement, and Poe blushed.

“Thank you, sir,” Poe managed.

“Please, my friends call me Finn, and I would very much like us to be friends.”

_#some type of regency au #not trying for accuracy though #whatever_

* * *

> **[sithofren](http://sithofren.tumblr.com/)** asked:
> 
> "You never listen to a thing I say!"

“You never listen to a thing I say!” 

Finn snorted. “That’s rich, coming from you, Poe.” He dodged the blaster fire and shot off a few glancing rounds. He’d try to capture prisoners if he could. 

“Maybe we need to work on our communication skills!” Poe shouted back, wincing when a spray of brick showered over his hiding spot.

“Are you really having this conversation right now?” Finn sped across the clearing to Poe’s spot, and they turned, in sync, to fire their blasters at the oncoming Stormtroopers. “See, I don’t need to listen to a thing you say, our bodies follow each other no matter what.” Finn grinned wickedly at Poe.

“Are you really flirting with me right now?” 

* * *

> **[iocane7](http://iocane7.tumblr.com/)** asked:
> 
> First sentence fic challenge: "He had the bottle of mustard in one hand, some tape in the other, and was wondering where his clothes were *this* time." Feel free to ignore, I'm in a weird mood.

He had the bottle of mustard in one hand, some tape in the other, and was wondering where his clothes were *this* time. He grinned his dopey grin up at Finn, who rolled his eyes.

“Poe fucking Dameron, you are, without a doubt, the worst roommate ever.” Finn tossed the mustard and tape away and hauled Poe up from the grass of their front lawn. “Haven’t you learned never to trust anything Alpha-Beta-Chi gives you?” 

“Finn fucking Onata. You are, as always, the best, buddy. I love you.” Poe leaned sloppily into Finn’s shoulder, and Finn sighed. What he wouldn’t give for Poe to tell him that when he wasn’t drunk or high sometime. Maybe sometime during the week, when they were studying together quietly. Or on the walk to campus, when Finn itched to draw Poe’s hand into his. Sometime when Finn knew Poe meant it. 

Finn poured Poe into his bed, then stumbled when Poe’s surprising agile hands pulled him down with him. “Stay with me?” Poe asked, all innocence. “I’m cold, keep me warm,” he whined.

“You’re cold because you lost your fucking clothes again, Poe,” Finn grumbled. His better nature lost, though, as he laid down beside Poe and Poe wrapped his arms around him. He was snoring on Finn’s shoulder before Finn could say anything else, and Finn resigned himself to this torture. _Poe fucking Dameron._

* * *

> **[sithofren](http://sithofren.tumblr.com/)** asked:
> 
> "So... where do we go from here?"

(Full disclosure, I can’t hear this phrase without getting the song of the same name from Once More with Feeling stuck in my head.)

“So… where do we go from here?” Poe’s fingers were playing along Finn’s skin, leaving a trail of goosebumps along his arm.

“We can go further than we did?” Finn felt Poe’s smile on his neck. 

“I meant like, do you want to, um, be together outside of this room, or do you want to keep this a secret, or hell, do you even want to do this again.” Finn could hear the painful insecurity in Poe’s voice as his forehead leaned against Finn’s spine.

Finn turned in his arms, cupping Poe’s face in his hands. “I didn’t realize this might be a one-time deal.”

Poe let a breath out slowly. “I don’t want it to be.”

“Neither do I,” Finn replied, rubbing his thumb over Poe’s cheek. Poe closed his eyes, leaning into the feeling.

* * *

> **[sithofren](http://sithofren.tumblr.com/)** asked:
> 
> This was, without a doubt, the most terrifying thing ever.

This was, without a doubt, the most terrifying thing ever. 

Getting captured and taken aboard the Finalizer? Scary.

Escaping only to crash land, alone, on Jakku? Frightening.

Watching the last of the sun’s light get sucked into Starkiller, and seeing the laser slowly start to charge, with barely any hope that he could take it down? Horrific.

Holding Finn’s hand as they wheeled him, unconscious, off to the med bay, the smell of burnt flesh permeating his nose? Heart stopping.

Waiting for Finn to react to his kiss? The most terrifying 5 seconds of his life.

And then Finn’s hand was fisting into his shirt and pulling him back, and his lips were crushed against Poe’s, and Poe’s hand was gripping at the back of Finn’s head. He melted into Finn, pushing him into the corridor wall. Poe wasn’t sure if he was terrified, or if he’d never be terrified again, but it didn’t matter as he drank Finn’s sounds down.

* * *

> **[spacethefinalfrontier-ncc1701](http://spacethefinalfrontier-ncc1701.tumblr.com/)** asked:
> 
> Re: your inbox is open and prompts for drabbles. I love the idea that Poe sees General Leia almost like a mom figure. And I absolutely love the idea of Poe being hella nervous to tell her about his relationship with Finn. Nervous Poe is my fav kind of Poe.

“Thank you, Commander, for your report.” The dismissal was friendly but clear. Leia had already turned to a datapad.

Poe stood, but lingered, clearing his throat. 

“Is there something else, Poe?” Leia’s voice was soft but strong, always strong. 

He swallowed. “Um, well, I just-” He sat again. “I just wanted you to know that I’m seeing some-” He faltered again. What if she didn’t approve? What if she thought Finn wasn’t good enough because he was a former Stormtrooper? What if-

“And how is Finn’s recovery coming along?” she asked kindly, setting her reading glasses aside so she could refocus on Poe.

“Fine, great, he’s doing so well, and Kalonia thinks he’ll be out of the med bay soon,” Poe babbled, wiping his sweaty hands on his pants.

“Poe,” Leia admonished quietly. “What was it you wanted to tell me?” She raised one eyebrow at him, not unkindly.

“IthinkFinnisamazingandIwanteveryonetotreathimwellandI’vebeenwalkingwithhimwhileherecoversandyesterdayhekissedmeandI’mprettysureIlovehim.” 

Leia’s second eyebrow joined the first as this all came spilling out of Poe’s mouth in a rush. “If you hear of anyone mistreating Finn, I hope you know you can come straight to me. He’s been an incredible asset to the Resistance and his reputation should not be centered around anything else.” She picked up her glasses and the datapad again. “Was that all?”

Poe sat, still in shock that he’d said it all aloud. “Um, yeah.”

“Don’t you have drills to run with your squad?”

Poe stood abruptly. “Um, yeah,” he repeated. He turned to leave.

“Oh, and Poe?” Poe turned back around. “He’s a good man, and these are rough times. Take your comfort where you can, and hold onto him tightly.” Her eyes were sad for a moment, before they flicked down to the datapad, and Poe followed through on his dismissal.

* * *

> **[beautifullights1](http://beautifullights1.tumblr.com/)** asked:
> 
> NAPTIME is here so all will be well and Tiko will cuddle with you and my brain will come back to life and then you know what kind of marvelous drabbles I need in my life? Poe, limping across the landing bay, having just arrived home far later than expected from a mission. Finn, running into his arms, kissing him within an inch of his life, helping him back to their bunk/the medbay. Yes I know damn well you've written at least two or three or probably ten of those for me before. I WANT MOAR. <3

The orange and white of the flight suit was blurring, melding together, and Finn blinked the tears out of his eyes. He was standing, Poe was standing, at least, but Finn could see the blood from here, and knew Poe was standing only to keep morale up for the rest of the Resistance. Knew that if the poster boy showed weakness, the whole base would probably fall into despair. Their eyes met across the landing bay, and then Finn was running, running to be Poe’s support.

“You’re late,” he managed when he came up to Poe, gathering the pilot gently in his arms, looking to the outside world like he was greeting Poe, but really checking for life-threatening injuries and helping to prop his boyfriend up. He leaned forward, taking nearly all of Poe’s weight on his own as he kissed him. “What do you need?” he whispered.

“You.” Poe winced, sucked in a breath. “You, and bed, I think. And maybe a doctor but I really don’t want to go to med bay,” he responded quietly. Finn know Poe hated the med bay, would go to great lengths to avoid it. Of course he’d only learned that _after_ Poe had spent hours upon hours keeping him company in the med bay through his recovery.

Finn resisted the urge to pick Poe up in his arms and carry him all the way, and instead let the pilot lean into him as they headed away from the x-wing fleet. “BB?”

A concerned beep accompanied the whir behind him as the droid zoomed around their feet. 

“Can you ask Dr. Kalonia, at her convenience, to come to our quarters and see to Poe?”

BB-8 beeped an affirmative sound and rolled off at top speed.

“Love you, Finn,” Poe mumbled at his side. “Lost- lost-”

“I know, baby, shhhh, now,” Finn soothed. The entire fleet had not made it back from this fight with the First Order. He’d watched it happen from the control room, and the fact that he could watch the dog fights was something he both loved and hated. 

They made it to their quarters, and once they were through the door, Finn lifted Poe up and walked him to the bed, to save him whatever he could. He set him down, helped him peel away the suit, the undershirt. Saw the bruising where the flight belts had down their job to keep Poe from being expelled from the x-wing. Nothing external other than the cut on the face, though, that beautiful face that Poe couldn’t seem to help roughing up.

Kalonia came and went, verifying that there was nothing wrong internally. It could have been a lot worse. Poe just needed rest, and time.

“Snap’s going to debrief with the General, so you don’t need to worry about that right now,” he said as he swept sweaty curls off of Poe’s forehead with a warm damp cloth. “Try to sleep, if you can.”

“Sleep with me?”

“I don’t want to hurt-”

“You could never.” Poe managed a charming smile, making Finn wonder briefly, _how?_ before he climbed carefully over Poe and wrapped them into a spooning position, arms low to avoid Poe’s bruises. He rested his lips on Poe’s spine.

“Rest now,” he whispered, and listened as Poe’s breaths slowed and steadied out.


	46. Tumblr first sentence prompts - batch 2 (Pilot/Med student au)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Another round of first sentence prompts, but this time I decided to make them all make a (rather jumpy) story together. It works except I kind of lost the thread on Finn's characterization between prompt 1 and prompt 3. Oops.

> **[beautifullights1](http://beautifullights1.tumblr.com/)** asked:
> 
> Finn took one look at the man diving into the pool wearing only a brief pair of bright pink swim shorts and gulped.

Finn took one look at the man diving into the pool wearing only a brief pair of bright pink swim shorts and gulped. “Who’s that?” he whispered to Rey. 

“Commander Dameron,” she whispered back.

“ _Commander?_ In those shorts?” 

Rey shrugged. “Dad says he’s one of the best pilots they’ve got, and that’s _Dad_ saying that. Guess he’s earned the right to wear whatever the fuck he wants at the annual barbecue, you know?”

“Oh, I’m not complaining. What’s the opposite of complaining?” Finn sucked in a breath as Poe climbed out of the pool, water sluicing off of him. Finn swore it was coming down in slow motion. “That’s what I’m doing. The opposite of complaining.”

“Keep it in your pants, boy,” Rey teased.

“Is he gay? Please tell me he’s gay.”

“Bi, I think.”

“Yessss,” sighed Finn, drawing out the s. “Oh god, he’s coming this way. Introduce me, please?” 

Rey smirked, but raised her beer in salute to Dameron, who smiled and walked over to give her a kiss on the cheek. _Lucky girl._ “Poe, this is my friend from school, Finn. He’s training to be a doctor.”

Poe’s eyebrows raised as Finn shook his hand. “Very nice. Any particular type?”

“General practitioner. I’d like to serve for Doctors without Borders someday.”

“Rey, you have to stop introducing me to people who make me look bad.” Poe winked at Rey as they laughed.

* * *

> **[stitchybutton](http://stitchybutton.tumblr.com/)** asked:
> 
> Poe had only meant to requisition a single unit of __ from the quartermaster, he must have misplaced a decimal...

Poe had only meant to requisition a single unit of coffee from the quartermaster, he must have misplaced a decimal… He frowned. What the hell was he going to do with this much coffee? Who even needed this much coffee? Who-

Poe smirked. Who indeed. Who needed so much coffee _more_ than a med student in the first year of his residency? After a rapidfire text conversation, and a prayer that he wasn’t crossing a boundary, Poe had Finn’s apartment address and was knocking on his door.

Finn looked gloriously disheveled, obviously having come off a long shift. “Poe?”

“Hey, sorry, um…Rey gave me your address?”

Finn looked at the box in his arms curiously. “What’s in the box- boxes?” he amended as he saw the handcart piled with several more. He rubbed his temple, and Poe wanted nothing more than to swaddle him in the nearest blanket and lay him down to sleep with a kiss on his brow.

“I accidentally acquired some extra coffee. I thought you might like to share?”

Finn’s smile was small and tired, but definitely present. “Did you just invite yourself over for like, 50 coffee dates?”

“Are you saying no?” Poe said with a laugh, and Finn joined him.

* * *

> **[beautifullights1](http://beautifullights1.tumblr.com/)** asked:
> 
> "So, what do you want to do next?" Poe asks Finn.

“So, what do you want to do next?” Poe asked Finn in the dark of the movie theater. 

Finn shivered when Poe continued to trace along the skin of his inner arm. He’d resisted Poe for so long, resisted the stupidly charismatic pilot with the reckless streak a mile wide, resisted the complications a relationship would bring to his dreams. But that’s the thing about viruses, Finn thought. They worked their way past your resistances and you were a goner. Finn hummed. He probably shouldn’t tell Poe he’d just compared him to a virus in his head. It wasn’t very romantic. 

And Finn was done resisting. “We could go back to my place,” he murmured for just Poe to hear.

Poe caressed the webbing on his hand. Poe was obsessed with his hands, he’d fully admitted it a few weeks ago. He’d told Finn he loved how long and slender his fingers were, how strong his hands were, how important they were to Finn’s job. “I’d love to, if you’re sure.”

“I’m sure.”

* * *

> **[redlipstickandhairbows](http://redlipstickandhairbows.tumblr.com/)** asked:
> 
> Prompt: “I am five minutes away from saying fuck it and setting it on fire.”

“I am five minutes away from saying fuck it and setting it on fire,” Poe growled, frustrated at the motorcycle in front of him.

From his porch, Finn hummed a response that said he was only partially listening. Poe didn’t mind; he knew that Finn loved the sound of Poe’s voice as background noise, that it helped him relax. Poe’s dad had told him to hold on to Finn and never let go, because he was never going to find someone else who actually liked listening to Poe talk as much as Poe talked.

He planned on doing exactly what his dad said, and the ring currently hanging out in his sock drawer was proof. He just needed to figure out the right time.

He finished the ornery oil change, closing everything back up and wiping the grease off of his hands. “Hey, babe, I think I’m going to run to the store, did you need to add anything to the list?”

Finn looked up from his book, then set it down completely. “Poe.”

“What? Do I have some on my face?” Poe reached up with the towel, intending to wipe it down, but suddenly Finn was taking the towel from him.

“Let me,” he whispered, eyes dark with desire. “I don’t know how you can manage to make oil look like a fucking masterpiece on your skin.” His tone was lightly admonishing as he wiped gently at Poe’s cheek. “There, better.” Finn pulled on Poe’s shirt with one hand to bring him closer for a kiss. Poe groaned as Finn licked his lips, opening his mouth to allow Finn access.

“Hold that thought,” Poe said when they broke the kiss. “I’ll be right back.”

Finn pressed his lips one more time to Poe’s cheek with a small, “Hurry back.”

Slipping his motorcycle helmet on, Poe gave him a wink, mounted, and vroomed out of the driveway.

He’d barely made it a block, crossing the intersection just down the street, when he heard a crash and suddenly he was airborne, and then everything was dark.

* * *

>   **[beautifullights1](http://beautifullights1.tumblr.com/)** asked:

> "Don't you dare die on me," Finn growls. He grips Poe's hand between both of his, as tightly as he can. "You hear me?"

“Don’t you dare die on me,” Finn growled. He gripped Poe’s hand between both of his, as tightly as he could. “You hear me?” Finn’s heart was beating faster than it ever had before, he was sure. He could hear the ambulance heading this way, could hear the mumbling of the driver who’d hit Poe somewhere nearby, could hear the rumble of the gathering crowd, but none of it registered. The only thing Finn was registering now was the shallow rise and fall of Poe’s chest that meant Poe, for now anyway, was alive.

The helmet had done it’s thing. He didn’t think there was a head injury. But, god, oh god, the way Poe had looked when he’d come running, drawn by the metallic sound of the crash and yelling voices. Like a ragdoll tossed aside. _Of course it’s the fucking motorcycle. Not only does he have to be a fucking test pilot, risking his life for his job, no, that’s not scary enough for him, he also has to drive around on a fucking death machine._ There was no way Poe hadn’t sustained some type of internal injury.

The cops and ambulance showed up at the same time, and Finn gave his report, trying to stay professional, to the EMTs. One of them calmly moved him back, away from Poe, and Finn felt as useless as any of the countless family members he’d talked to over the years of his residency. The EMTs loaded Poe up efficiently, leaving Finn on the ground, hugging his knees, looking at the twisted metal of Poe’s bike.

“Hey,” one of the police officers, a black woman, said gently, sitting next to him on the ground, looking him in the eyes. “Can we call someone for you?” Finn felt numb, and realized with a rush that the officer thought he was in shock. He worked through a mental check of his vitals and figured he’d be okay, if… If Poe was okay.

“He was going to propose. I found the ring in his drawer last week when I put away laundry.” 

Her hand slipped on top of his. “Do you want a ride to the hospital? I can call another car in to finish this up.”

He looked into her kind eyes and nodded. “Yeah, please.” He knew that he’d be barred from anything having to do with Poe once he got there, but he needed Poe to know he was waiting for him, that someone was waiting for him.

The officer stood and held out her hand. Finn took it, letting her help him off the ground as she called for the second car.

——————-

At least Poe had been taken to his hospital, which meant he had pretty much constant updates on Poe’s condition. There’d been internal bleeding, and Poe was in surgery by the time Finn got there, so all he could do was wait. He called Kes, who dropped everything, and Finn found it was a comfort to wait together.

When Finn’s friend, Dr. Wexley, came out, Finn was relieved to see the smile in his eyes above his mask. He wrapped Kes’ fingers in his and squeezed as they walked toward the surgeon. “He’s tough, Finn. Tried to flatline on me, but he fought his way back. He’s stable in recovery, now.”

Finn and Kes collapsed into each other.

——————-

“If I even agree to marry you, and I’m not telling you this is a guarantee, you asshole, then we’re never buying a bike to replace this one. Your motorcycle days are over, you hear? Don’t even think about trying to sneak one into the garage when I go to Kenya. I’m giving Rey full permission to kick your ass if you even think about it. And she’ll know, believe me.”

Poe’s eyes fluttered, and Finn sat up straight. “Poe?”

Poe licked his lips. “Dry. Water?”

Finn grabbed the cup and held the straw up to Poe’s lips. “Just a little at a time. There you go.”

“Don’t cry, baby,” Poe managed, voice rough.

Finn wiped at his cheek with the back of his hand. “Don’t do that again to me, then, motherfucker.”

Poe’s fingers squeezed lightly at Finn’s arm, all the strength he could probably manage. “Won’t. Promise.”

“Good.” The tears kept streaming down; he couldn’t stop them now.

“Finn.”

“Yeah?”

“Marry me?”

Finn choked on something between a laugh and a sob. “Yeah, okay.”

“‘Kay,“ Poe said with a smile. “Tired.” His eyelids drooped.

“It’s okay, you can go back to sleep. I promise you’ll see me again when you wake up.”

At Finn’s reassurance, his eyes closed all the way, and Finn watched him drift off to sleep.


	47. The Piano Requests

Philomathx asked me what I thought about this story about sometime playing piano and another person requesting a composition via a note. http://animalasaysrauer.tumblr.com/post/149173680271/philomath-x-lemonsharks-classicstarlite

 

edit: now with paragraph breaks! Yay mobile posting.

It's short and head canony at the beginning, but it's sweet.

* * *

 

Finn is an amateur pianist who practices to relax at night after a day of working for the First Order being a corporate drone (I say amateur not because he’s new to it but because he’s not a professional, but he’s played all his life).

Poe has never seen Finn, doesn’t even know if the pianist is male or female, but it helps him relax too. He’s started building his day around when he knows the pianist will start playing, and he imagines them like his own private concert. He sends the note on a whim because it’s his favorite, and he’s never heard the pianist play it. They play it beautifully, but Poe still feels awkward seeking them out (maybe he was injured in some visible way in the war, and doesn’t leave his apartment much or doesn’t like to interact with new people so he doesn’t have to tell the story over and over?), so he leaves a little thank you present at the doorway with another request.

  
This continues, but some days he’s satisfied with whatever choice the pianist wants to make and doesn’t leave a request.  
One day, though, no music. That’s fine. But then it continues. After the third day with no music Poe musters up the courage to knock on the door.

  
“I’ve been waiting for you,” a young man, gorgeous man, says to Poe. At the questioning look on his face, the man continues. “I heard about the reclusive vet below me. And, uh, this has been going on for months now and I just wanted to repay you for all the little presents you’ve given me. I knew if I stopped playing, I’d pique your interest. Will you stay for dinner?”

Poe coughs, then tries to get his throat to work, but the words come out rusty. “Why?” Is all he manages.

The young man smiles, and God, it’s the best thing Poe’s ever seen, it may even outstrip those lovely slender pianist hands holding open the door. “Anyone who appreciates music as much as you do, especially how I play it, deserves to be a friend. Finn,” he says, holding one of those beautiful hands out to him. Poe doesn’t feel worthy touching it, but he knows what his therapist would say about that.

“Poe,” he replies, extending his own rough hand.  
Finn uses the handshake to pull Poe inside, and surprisingly to Poe, he lets himself be pulled.

The space is cramped because Finn has elected to use most of the space for the piano. It leaves no room for anything like an entertainment unit. Finn directs him to the one armchair, a tattered old thing. The only object in the apartment that is lovingly tended, as far as Poe can tell, is the piano.

“I noticed you never left me any alcoholic gifts. Would you prefer I don’t pull out wine for dinner?” Poe appreciates the lightness with which the question is asked, the lack of judgement in tone. He figures Finn must have dealt with vets before.

“No I’m not- I mean, I just didn’t know if you were like a kid or something. Wine is fine.”

“Well in that case,” Finn says after fumbling around in the tiny kitchen a bit, “I love a good Pinot noir. This, however, is just passable.” He hands Poe a glass of wine, then sits at his piano bench with his own glass, which Poe quickly realizes is a recycled jam jar. Finn laughs ruefully at himself when he sees Poe notice it. “The wine glass is for guests.”

Finn feeds him dinner, a wonderfully simple pasta tossed with veggies and olive oil and cheese. He even manages to coax more words out of Poe, with his smile and his easy going attitude and his genuine care. And all the while, Poe is imagining those pianist fingers sliding over him. Around him. Into him.

At the end of the night, as Poe is headed out the door, Finn stops him gently with one hand. “My job sucks,” he says, frank. “I play to destress and resign myself to another day tomorrow. And the gifts have been lovely, but you really don’t need to keep leaving them. I’m going to keep playing no matter what.”

“I believe in rewarding hard work and talent. If you were playing in a club, I’d leave you a tip. If you were a concert pianist, I’d gladly pay the ticket price and dress up in a fancy suit and everything. It’s just- you should know you’re appreciated. Your talent and dedication are appreciated.”

It’s the most Poe’s said at once all night, and Finn’s eyes are wide. They come back to normal, though, and narrow in consideration. He moves a little closer to Poe, not crowding him but definitely inside his space now.

“Maybe…maybe you could find a different way to reward me.” He leans in closer, hovering over Poe’s mouth. “Stop me if I’m way off base here,” he says, before closing the gap and brushing his lips over Poe’s.

It feels glorious. When Finn breaks off, Poe immediately pulls him back for another. He’s starved for this, he realizes. Not just starved for human touch, but starved for the touch of someone who finds him attractive. Starved for quiet getting-to-know-you talk and wine shared over a simple meal. Starved for someone who looked at him the way Finn has looked at him all night. Starved for the little noises Finn is making in his throat as his tongue licks into Poe’s mouth.

Poe’s got him pinned to the door before they both know it, but they don’t go any further than the goodnight kiss. It ends on a sweet note, Finn taking Poe’s hand and kissing the knuckles, and inviting him up for a private concert sometime.

“I’ve got a dog, a service dog,” Poe says, stumbling over the words. “Can I bring him too?”

Those strong pianist fingers brush over the roughness of Poe’s bearded cheek. “Of course.”

When Poe heads back downstairs, he doesn’t have to look back to know that Finn’s leaning in the doorway, watching him go. As he arrives in his apartment, he hears the light sounds of something romantic, Vivaldi, Poe pinpoints. It stops quickly, probably for Finn’s fear of a noise complaint from the people above him, but it was long enough for Poe to recognize it as Finn’s good night to him. As he pets BB-8, he thinks about the bottle of Pinot noir he picked up last week, and the possibilities tomorrow night might bring.


	48. "I'm dying."

I'm dying.”

  
“I think that's a slight exaggeration, buddy.”

  
Finn wanted to warm at the nick name but he was already overheated. It was quite possible his brain was cooking inside his skull.

  
“I'm definitely dying of heat stroke. You can die from that, right?”

  
They were in their room, where they'd escaped when drills had been called off because of the excessive heat on D’qar.  
“I'd never thought that a little heat could turn Finn into a drama queen.”

  
“I don't know what that is, but I assume it's not good.”

  
Poe poked him in the thigh from his position on the bunk, and Finn squirmed away from the contact. “No touching. Too hot,” Finn groused. He'd stationed himself on the floor, where the concrete felt cool, kind of.

  
“Better not let Rey hear you whine. She grew up on that hellhole. She's probably still at it with the light saber training.”

  
“At least the sun’s down.”

  
“Wait,” Poe said, sounding excited. “It is?”

  
“Jeez, Poe, what kind of holovid were you watching that you missed sunset?” Finn grinned, happy to be able to get a dig in on Poe finally.

  
Poe hopped off the bed and held his hand out, “C’mon, get up, we're getting out of here.”

  
Finn whimpered, and Poe raised his brow in challenge. Finn grumbled as he stood, sweat making him sticky all over.  
Poe led him out of the base, and with the sun down, he noted it was actually cooler -marginally- than indoors. Others had noted the same and were laying out on the grass, drinking and socializing. Finn waved at Jess and Snap, who nodded back as they walked by. Poe hopped into the driver’s seat of a small motorbike and patted the seat behind him, holding out a helmet for Finn. This was routine; Poe had taken him out on the bike before.  
The wind rushing over Finn’s sweaty skin was pleasant, but not as much as the full body touch he got to do when he rode behind Poe. Well, under normal circumstances. Now he was pretty sure he and Poe were going to be plastered together in this position forever. Finn really, really wanted to like that idea but right now it just seemed uncomfortable.  
They somehow managed to detach themselves after Poe pulled up at the apparent destination. He began to pull off his shirt.

  
“What are you doing?”

  
“Do you know how to swim?”

  
“Yeah, it was standard with all Stormtrooper training.”

  
Poe laughed. “Sorry, I just got an image of a bunch of fully armored troopers doing laps.” He smothered his smile behind his hand, then grunted when Finn pushed into him.

  
“You're such an insensitive nerfherder,” Finn said on a laugh. He pulled off his own shirt and threw it at Poe, who dodged it easily.

  
“How about skinny dipping, the Fuck Order teach you that?” He began to unfasten his shorts, and Finn’s smile fell.  
“Um, no.” He blushed and turned away when Poe shimmied out of his shorts. Sometimes Poe being his best friend -and not something more- could be really inconvenient.

  
“Follow me,” Poe said, heading through the trees. “Skinny dipping is swimming naked. Especially a good idea for nights like tonight.”

  
“Poe, what if someone finds us?” Finn hissed through the dark.

  
“This is my special place. Totally secret.” They broke into the clearing to see a small lake before them. “Come on!” Poe sounded younger as his voice filled with glee and he ran into the water.  
Finn gulped, then hurriedly took his shorts off, and followed Poe before the pilot could see he was half hard.

  
Finn moaned as he submerged fully in the cool water. “This is amazing.”

  
“Right?” Poe said with a laugh.

  
Lazily Finn broke into a backstroke, heard Poe splashing somewhere near him. He flipped, five underwater and let his blood cool from the near boiling point he swore it'd been at earlier. When he grew tired of the lazy laps, he turned on his back and watched the stars, completely relaxed. He practiced some of the breathing techniques Master Luke had showed him to center and feel the Force.

  
He did so, that is, until Poe appeared out of nowhere and splashed water right into his face.

  
“You little shit!” Finn wiped his eyes with a laugh, then located his target and took aim, catching Poe well within the wave of water he created. Poe sputtered, giving Finn a look that has him feeling tingles down to his toes. And another part of his anatomy.

  
What started as splashes quickly devolved into some form of water wrestling, because neither Finn nor Poe could back down from a challenge. Finn didn't really even notice he'd gotten progressively harder until Poe wrapped his legs around his waist in an attempt to flip him and Finn couldn't bite back the moan from the stimulation.

  
Poe stilled, and Finn pretty much wanted to die. “I'm sorry,” he mumbled, turning his head away. God, why wasn't Poe releasing him?

  
Poe tipped his chin back. “Why are you sorry?” His voice was soft, compelling.  
“I know we're just friends. I don't want to make you feel uncomfortable.”

  
Poe rolled his hips, and Finn realized he wasn't the only hard one. “What if I want to be more than friends?”

  
“Are you sure?”

  
“Since I saw you in my jacket.” Poe pulled him closer, and their mouths met even as Poe continued to roll their cocks by each other. Finn moaned into Poe's mouth. Poe broke off with a gasp and held up a hand. “May I?” He glanced down toward the water.

  
“Yeah,” Finn breathed, still in shock that this was happening.

  
Poe wrapped his hand around their cocks, making Finn thrust up into his fist. “There ya go, buddy. That's perfect. Mmmm.”

  
It was perfect. Too much. “I'm not going to last,” he warned Poe.

  
“Good,” Poe murmured, bringing him close for a kiss again and biting down on Finn’s lip in the process. “Come for me,” he whispered in Finn’s ear.

  
Finn reached down to cover Poe’s hand with his own, and in a few strokes he was coming, shooting over their fists and into the water. Poe followed quickly after, capturing Finn’s mouth as he did and using him to drown the sound.

  
They drifted apart a little, Poe's eyes dark on his. “You okay?”

  
“Yeah, you?”

  
“Oh yeah, buddy.”

  
Finn snorted. “Guess you don't have to call me that anymore.”

  
Poe arched a brow. “Oh, what should I call you? Side piece? Lover?”

  
“Boyfriend?” responded Finn, biting into his lip.

  
Poe eyed him speculatively. “Boyfriend sounds good to me.” His hand reached out under the water and Finn clasped it and smiled his bright smile.


	49. The Piano Requests - Remix

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I remixed/expanded the story I wrote for chapter 47.
> 
> Content warning: mentions of past suicide attempt, character with PTSD,

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Remember, this whole thing was inspired by this tumblr post: http://animalasaysrauer.tumblr.com/post/149686666311/philomath-x-lemonsharks-classicstarlite

Poe glanced at his watch anxiously and tapped his foot as he waited to buy his groceries. Several other people in the store glanced at him nervously, which was probably because of the hoodie, although likely they’d be even more nervous if they saw his face without it. Lou, the proprietor, knew him, though, and wouldn’t give him any trouble about hiding his face. Sensing her master’s anxiety, BB-8 pressed into Poe’s leg, and Poe reached down to give the German Shepherd a pat. If the hoodie didn’t make people give Poe a wide berth, the big, gorgeous dog in her service vest normally did. He glanced at his watch again, feeling anxiety kick up in him. He didn’t want to miss practice time. He had a schedule and these  _ people _ with their  _ groceries _ were about to fuck it up, and when his schedule got fucked up-

“Poe, I can help you over here.” The voice broke into his thoughts, and Poe glanced over to see that Lou himself had opened another lane. Quiet relief broke through him.

He placed the basket up on the belt and nodded at Lou. “Thanks, man,” he said, his voice gruff with disuse. His voice pretty much always sounded like that nowadays, since he mostly just talked to BB-8, and his therapist Rosie, and sometimes, at the group.

“Nasty weather outside. You want, I can call a cab for ya. My treat for my most loyal customer, and her master,” Lou joked, winking at the pair of them.

He heard Rosie in his head, telling him that it was okay that people cared about him. “No, but thanks, Lou. I’ll be fine. Just need to get home, you know. Practice. 6:30.”

“Right, right.” Lou finished the transaction and handed Poe the cloth bag. “See you in two days, right, Poe?” Lou always asked him now, when he could. Ever since the time eight months back when Poe hadn’t shown up for his groceries. It had been a Wednesday; he shaved his head and his face every Wednesday at 9am. The hospital hadn't let him shave after that Wednesday, not for a good long while.  


“Right.” He hooked the bag over his shoulder, gripped BB-8’s leash, and walked out into the rain.

When he stepped off of the elevator and up to his apartment, part of him relaxed because the hallway was completely silent. He hadn’t missed it, then.

He shucked off the hoodie, scrubbing a hand over his shaved head. The curls that had grown out in the hospital had been weird looking to Poe, growing in at strange angles and doing nothing to cover the scarring. Now that he was on his own, though, he shaved every Wednesday at 9am. 

He opened the can of soup into a bowl and set it going in the microwave, then put a scoop of food down for BB-8, who started scarfing immediately. “Good girl,” he murmured absently. 

He thought he heard the door to the apartment above him close, and his heart thudded a little in anticipation.

He grabbed the bowl from the microwave, cursing under his breath when he burned himself, and picked it up with a towel, instead. He carried it to the couch and set it on a TV tray, then waited. He didn’t have to wait long before the sound started drifting down. Whoever the pianist was, they practiced almost every day between 6:30 and 7. They’d never, since moving above Poe, missed more than one weekday in a row. Weekends were frustratingly unschedulable; Poe worried that if he left the apartment on a weekend day, he would miss the practice. His therapist had frowned when he’d told her that he’d taken to making sure he was stocked up for the weekend on Friday, just in case he couldn't leave. 

He couldn’t help himself. The idea of missing the sweet, deep tones of the piano coming through his ceiling was a thought he wasn’t truly able to deal with completely. Rosie had finally conceded him the use of this mental crutch, for now, with the promise that they’d talk about it again, and find a way to help Poe deal with the inevitable cessation of the music.

The pianist - Poe knew nothing of their age or gender - must have moved in when Poe had been in the hospital. Serendipitously, the first morning after Poe had been deemed safe to release back to his own care, a Sunday, Poe had woken in a near panic when he’d realized he’d slept in past his normal schedule. He’d been comforting himself with the words of his therapist, that new drugs always took awhile to get accustomed to, and his schedule would have to adjust for awhile. He’d buried his hands in BB-8’s fur, willing himself to relax. Then, the first tinkling sounds came down through the ceiling.  _ Chopin. Nocturne 20. _ Poe had closed his eyes, appreciating the music, the way it was played so lovingly. Between the Chopin and BB-8, he was completely soothed. 

Poe was even happier to discover the evening practices. Evenings were the worst. Everything was darker, in his head and outside of it, in the evening. The anxiety seemed to rise within him, until it was clawing at his throat to get out. It had been the morning after a particularly bad evening when he'd-  


He spent most evenings with as much of BB-8 as he could fit in his lap, watching TV to take his mind off of everything. 

Until the practice started. 

Now evenings were the highlight of his day. Everything centered around Poe being home to make sure he caught the pianist at work. It reminded him of his childhood home. Of his dad, playing for his mom, teaching him Chopsticks. Poe had never been great at any instruments - he had a better singing voice - but for him, the sound of a well-played piano would always be a comfort.

He took the first sip of his soup as the pianist started playing, letting the soup warm him as much as the music did. When he was finished, he let BB-8 climb up into his lap and petted her rhythmically as he began to count his breaths and practice his meditation. The half hour of live piano would set him up for a peaceful night. And, Rosie had been proud to celebrate, if the pianist couldn’t make a weekday evening, Poe had found that plugging in his earphones and listening to his piano playlist on his iPhone helped, too. If he got too anxious outside of the apartment, he’d do the same. He never would have discovered it as a coping mechanism without the pianist in the apartment above him. 

He’d even put in a request, his mom’s favorite song, Liebestraum no. 3 in A flat. When the pianist had played it the next night, he’d come to the realization that he needed to start paying the pianist back.

He still didn’t know any details about the pianist, and though Lou and a few others knew about his schedule and “practice,” only his therapist knew the whole story, so he felt awkward asking anyone else in the building about the pianist. He stuck to things that had universal appeal, or things that struck his fancy. Chocolate, some sheet music, fresh fruit, doughnuts from the shop down the street, a postcard that had struck him for its beauty one day at Lou’s. 

And then one day the music stopped. The first night was fine. Poe had his iPhone ready to go, and he plugged in, meditated, and drifted off to sleep easily. The second night, it didn’t quite work, and he’d texted Rosie for her advice. 

**Rosie:** I know this would be hard, and I don’t say this lightly. You could consider knocking on the door and asking.

**Poe:** I think you know why I don’t want to do that.

**Rosie:** Let’s analyze this. Knocking would allow you to show verbal appreciation for the way their music has affected you. They would want to hear that.

**Poe:** And if they can’t look past my face?

**Rosie:** You know that people will be uncomfortable with the scarring. Civilians can rarely face the visible effects of war without getting uncomfortable. This is a reaction you expect, so it won’t be surprising. 

**Poe:** I don’t want them to feel that way, though.

**Rosie:** Why? Why the pianist in particular?

**Poe:** I don’t know. I guess because they’re important to me. They’re part of my recovery.

**Rosie:** Don’t you think they’d like to know that?

**Poe:** So what, knock on the door, shake hands, tell them, ‘hey, you help keep me from thinking about killing myself.’

**Rosie:** How about we work on what you want to say. Can you open up Facetime? 

 

That was how Poe came to have his fist poised above the door to Apartment 2187 at 6:45 the next night.  He hadn’t brought BB-8 with him, because she could be intimidating to people at first, and as his heart thudded in his chest, he realized that was probably a mistake. He hadn’t worn his hoodie, either. If he was going to do this, he was going to do it unhidden.

He knocked and held his breath.

A man, younger than Poe, maybe mid or late twenties, answered the door with a smile on his face. A beautiful smile on his beautiful face.  _ Oh God. _ No, he could do this.  _ Don’t chicken out, Dameron. _

The man hadn’t paused at all at the burn scarring that took up a quarter of Poe’s face, or the blind whiteness of his left eye. He just smiled brightly and said, “I’ve been waiting for you.”

Poe’s mouth dropped open a little, and everything he’d planned to say with Rosie dropped out of his head immediately. 

The man continued.  “I heard about the reclusive vet below me. You have some very protective friends, by the way. The minute I brought you up with our landlady, she was all ‘what do you want from him?’ and ‘That poor boy’s been through enough, Finn.’ But I told her I wanted to repay you for all the little presents you’ve given me over the last few months. I wasn’t sure if you’d talk to me if I just showed up at your door so I thought… and here you are, and I’m rambling. Will you stay for dinner?” The man eased back, opening the door to his apartment wide. “Oh, God, I didn’t even introduce myself. I’m the worst. Finn.” The man - Finn - stuck out his hand, and Poe shook it automatically.

Poe coughed, trying to get his throat to work, but the words came out rusty. “Why?” was all he could manage.  _ Why are you looking at me as if you totally don’t care that my face is ruined? _

Finn smiled again, and God, it’s the best thing Poe had ever seen, outstripping even those lovely slender pianist hands that were holding open the door. “Anyone who appreciates music as much as you do, especially how I play it, deserves to be a friend.”

Finn stepped back further into the apartment, turning away from the door, and Poe followed him, moth drawn to the flame, letting the door close behind him. "I'm Poe," he said to Finn's back, and Finn flashed a grin over his shoulder.  


Though Finn’s apartment was identical to his, the space was cramped because of the piano. Finn had a few chairs to sit in, but the piano was the centerpiece of the living/dining/kitchen area. The furniture mostly looked like Goodwill finds or hand-me-downs; Finn directed him to sit in a tattered armchair. The piano, as far as Poe could tell, was the only thing lovingly tended in the whole apartment. Poe knew there was a story there, was dying to ask but the timing didn’t seem right.

“I noticed you never left me any alcoholic gifts. Would you prefer I don’t pull out wine for dinner?” Poe appreciated the lightness with which the question was asked, the lack of judgement in tone. He figured Finn must have dealt with vets before. Alcohol had never been one of his problems, but it was for a couple of other vets in his group.

“No I’m not- I mean, I just didn’t know if you were like a kid or something. I take some meds but...one glass would be fine.” 

“Well in that case,” Finn said after fumbling around in the tiny kitchen a bit, “I love a good Pinot noir. This, however, is just passable.” He handed Poe a glass of wine, then sat at his piano bench with his own glass, which Poe quickly realized was a recycled jam jar. Finn laughed ruefully at himself when he saw Poe notice it. “The wine glass is for guests.”

Poe smiled and held his glass out.

“To new friends,” Finn said before clinking his jar against Poe’s glass. He took a sip, then unfolded himself to work in the kitchen some more.

Poe searched for some part of what he’d practiced with Rosie that could apply to this situation. “You play so beautifully.”

“Aww, you’re sweet,” Finn replied in a way that Poe could tell meant he didn’t agree.

“How long have you been playing?”

“Long as I can remember. My mom was pretty determined on her kid playing an instrument, and, I don’t know.” Finn shrugged. “It’s relaxing.”

“I think so, too.”

“Oh?” Finn’s voice brightened. “You play?”

Poe flushed to realize he’d been misunderstood. “No. No, I meant, it’s relaxing to listen to you.”

“Oh,” Finn murmured, looking embarrassed himself as he mixed together something that smelled delicious. 

“I can live without it,” Poe blurted out, then immediately regretting his words.

Finn frowned. “Okay…”

Poe scratched over his scalp. “I suck at words sometimes.”

Finn’s frowned eased. “That’s okay, hun, we all do.”

“I meant, um. Well, I’m not supposed to say things like ‘I can’t live without it.’ Because life changes and I need to be accepting of those changes.”  _ Jesus Christ, you fucking nutjob, shut up. _ “So I  _ can _ live without it,” he continued, blithely ignoring his screaming mind, “but I don’t particularly want to.”

Finn set a bowl of pasta and veggies in front of him on the minuscule coffee table. “I think I understand.”

“I’m sorry,” Poe grumbled, forking up a bite of pasta. “I’m just trying to say I really love it when you play. It helps me get through the dark times.” He took the bite and looked away from that beautiful face. 

There was silence as the men chewed. 

“So I’m a financial analyst over at First Order. It’s kind of draining my soul, really. I hate it, but I need the money. Can’t pay off college _and_ live in this mansion for free,” he said with a sardonic smile. “But when I can come home, and play, even just for the half hour I negotiated with the neighbors upstairs, it helps get me through the dark times, too.”

Poe watched Finn’s fingers manipulate his fork, wrap around his wine jar. He flushed again as he realized where his thoughts were leading him. He wanted those pianist fingers sliding over him. Around him. Into him. 

The ache was palpable, knowing that he wanted this, wanted Finn to want him, and that he’d never get it.

“So does that mean you’ll be back tomorrow night?” Poe managed to ask, trying to alleviate his own tension.

Finn smiled that gorgeous smile at him and nodded. “Any requests?”

Poe shook his head. “Pianist’s choice. You make good ones.”

“So why the Liebestraum, then?”

“I hadn’t heard it in a long time. I hadn’t heard anyone I thought could do it justice in a long time. You did it justice.”

“Thank you,” Finn replied, voice sincere. 

When they were finished with dinner, Poe stood to leave. “I should let you...um...I like to be in bed at a certain time,” he admitted.

Finn nodded. “Please, don’t let me ruin your schedule,” he said, and just like that, Poe knew that Finn had managed to wheedle that little detail of his life out of someone. He wasn’t sure whether to feel embarrassed or relieved that it was out there.

Finn opened the door for him, then stopped him with a light touch on his shoulder. “I play to destress from my job. The gifts are lovely, but you really don’t need to keep leaving them. I’m going to keep playing no matter what.”

“I believe in rewarding hard work and talent. If you were playing in a club, I’d leave you a tip. If you were a concert pianist, I’d gladly pay the ticket price and dress up in a fancy suit and everything. It’s just- you should know you’re appreciated. Your talent and dedication are appreciated.” There, finally, the words Poe had rehearsed with Rosie, finally out. And they must have worked, because Finn’s eyes went wide, then narrowed in consideration.

He moved in a little closer to Poe, not crowding him but definitely inside his space. “Maybe…maybe you could find a different way to reward me.” He leaned in closer, hovering over Poe’s mouth. “Stop me if I’m way off base here,” he said, before closing the gap and brushing his lips over Poe’s.

It felt glorious, like a balm, soothing Poe inside and out. Poe could scarcely believe Finn wanted him, could scarcely believe this was happening. When Finn broke it off, Poe pulled him back for another kiss like a starved man. Not just starved for human touch, he thought, but starved for the touch of someone who found him attractive. Starved for quiet getting-to-know-you talk and wine shared over a simple meal. Starved for someone who looked at him the way Finn looked at him all night, without fear or disgust or pity. Starved for the little noises Finn was making in his throat as his tongue licked into Poe’s mouth. Poe groaned and pushed him back against the door, hand caressing Finn’s smooth cheek, realizing Finn shaved for him. Poe wanted to sink into Finn’s body, to have Finn sink into his, to consume each other, and it was that intense thought that had him pulling back, breath heaving.

“I should go,” he said as Finn breathed with him.

“You should come back sometime. Please. I could give you a private concert.” Finn lifted Poe’s hand and kissed the knuckles, and Poe’s heart did somersaults in his chest. 

“I’ve got a dog, a service dog,” Poe said, stumbling over the words. “Can I bring her too?”

Those strong pianist fingers brushed over the roughness of Poe’s scruffy cheek - he shaved on Wednesdays, 9am. “Of course. 6:30 tomorrow night?”

“6:30.” Poe squeezed the hand holding his, then headed back downstairs, feeling Finn’s eyes on him until he went through the stairwell door. When he arrived in his apartment, he heard the light sounds of something romantic, Vivaldi, Poe pinpointed in his memory. It stopped quickly, probably for Finn’s fear of a noise complaint from the disagreeable neighbors above him, but it was long enough for Poe to recognize it as Finn’s goodnight to him. As he settled into bed, BB-8’s soft snores soothing him into sleep, he thought about the kiss, and the possibilities tomorrow night might bring.


	50. Five times Poe was too distracted to kiss Finn...

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> @beautifullights1 and I were having a conversation and then this fic idea came up.
> 
> Five times Poe got distracted while kissing Finn and one time Finn made sure he didn’t. (Slightly bdsm toward the end. Not smut but slightly nsfw?)

The first time it happened, Finn didn’t realize it was going to become a habit.

The pilots and assorted friends were celebrating in Hangar 1, ostensibly because Finn was awake and out of med bay, but Poe had told him they’d use any excuse to break out the brew and sing and laugh, especially during war.

Finn thought it was better than the alternative he’d learned as a Stormtrooper.

He was sitting on a crate in a corner, shooting the shit, as Snap called it, with Snap and a couple of others, when Poe swooped in with a “Finnnnnnn!” before landing in Finn’s lap, pulling Finn’s face to his, and giving him a sloppy - very sloppy - kiss. After his initial surprise, Finn felt excitement pump through his veins, and he was about to return the kiss, when-

“Snnnnnnnap,” Poe said excitedly, popping the P and landing in Snap’s lap, and placing a solid kiss on the bigger pilot’s lips, then, “Jessssssss…” and Poe was off, hunting down another victim.

Finn licked his lips, which still tasted of brew and...and Poe, as his eyes followed the happy pilot in his exuberance.

“I swear, every goddamned time we get even the tiniest bit of brew in him,” Snap said, voice complaining but a smile on his face. He glanced at Finn, and Finn tried to school his expression into something less telling. Snap sobered. “Don’t worry, man. Poe’s not really like that.”

Finn frowned. “Not like..like he doesn’t really like guys or…?”

“Oh, no, Poe likes everyone. He’s just not, you know, promiscuous.” Snap coughed, looking like he was sorry he’d said anything. “I mean. ‘Cause you were looking like maybe you cared.”

“Oh.” Finn took a hasty sip of his brew and watched Poe drag Jess to the impromptu dance floor. “I mean, Poe can do what he wants, but...”

Snap patted his knee. “Yeah, I know.”

\---------------------------------

Finn had caught Poe in a quiet alcove, pulled him into the shadows. “Hi!” Poe said excitedly.

“Hi,” Finn breathed out, nervous.

“Did you need something?”

“I...uh...I. I wanted to ask you something.”

Poe smiled kindly at him. “What’s up?”

Finn reached one hand tentatively for Poe’s hip. “Could I...kiss you?”

Poe’s smile went wider and he raised his eyebrows. “I’ve been hoping you would ask me. Stars know I don’t have the courage to ask you.”

“You don’t?” Finn asked, surprised.

Poe laughed a little. “I was _so_ embarrassed after last time.”

“Oh. Well, you shouldn’t be.” Finn stared at Poe, at his lips, until he realized Poe was looking at him expectantly. “Oh, right.” He brought Poe to him, and his lips had just brushed Poe’s when emergency klaxons started to go off and everyone was called to battle stations.

\------------------------------------

Finn was trained not to think in terms of possessions. Armor, weapons, bunks, they were all interchangeable. He was supposed to expect that nothing he had touched the day before would be the same the day after.

Moreover, he knew it was doubly wrong to think of humans as possessions. What the First Order had done to him and the other Stormtroopers amounted to slavery, in Finn’s book.

But when Poe met his eyes across the mess hall and gave him a small nod and a secret little smile as he got in the food line, Finn felt the thrill of possession shoot through him, all the way to his toes. Because Poe was his, Poe had told him so last night. And right after, Finn had promised that he was Poe’s. And they’d been about to kiss, to seal the deal, when Poe had been called to the General’s office for a briefing.

“Hi,” Poe said quietly, almost shyly, as he sat down beside Finn. Across the table, the pilots made oooing noises and kissing sounds. Poe reddened and stuck his tongue out, then placed a chaste kiss on Finn’s cheek.

\----------------------------

“Thank the stars you’re okay!” Poe was running to him, then pulling him in a big hug, and it hurt Finn’s ribs, and Poe was bleeding, and they should probably get some medical attention, but Poe was kissing him, and everything was going to be okay, and-

“Commander, Lieutenant, report to the medics immediately,” growled the General.

\------------------------------

It was another party, celebrating a small victory over the First Order. This time Poe was tipsy but staying in his lap, and they were talking with Jess and Rey. At a break in the conversation, Finn coaxed Poe’s head back to his, and glided their mouths together. Poe opened, sliding his tongue along Finn’s and humming happily.

“So that’s why, on the X-Wings, you have to use plasteel components in the-”

“What?” Poe said loudly, after tearing his mouth from Finn’s, leaving Finn open-mouthed and surprised. “You can’t use plasteel on an X-Wing. Nothing but the best.”

Finn glanced at Rey, but she appeared to be getting into the debate as much as Jess and Poe were. _Pilots._ He sighed and resigned himself as Poe squirmed in indignation on top of him at Jess’ reply.

\---------------------

It was the first night they were going to have together since they’d...declared their interest in each other, Finn supposed. They were seated on Poe’s bunk, making themselves comfortable with each other. Poe had one of Finn’s hands sandwiched between his, and he was rubbing Finn’s fingers, as they talked, as they told each other about their lives.

“I still miss my mom. I know that sounds weird, she died when I was so little, but yeah.”

“I think I miss my parents. Just sometimes, I feel this weird...emptiness.”

In comfort, Poe leaned over to brush their lips together. When Finn slid his hand down Poe’s side, then sank into Poe’s ass, it morphed into something hotter, more urgent. Finn eased Poe down to the bunk, pouring his soul into the kiss, then-

BB-8 flew in, beeping a greeting, and Poe started, looking over. Finn sighed, then moved away from Poe.

“What?” Poe asked up at him.

“I just feel like I’ve never had a chance to really kiss you because you get distracted, or something distracts us both, you know, like the First Order attacking the base.”

Poe reached for his face, cupping his cheeks. “I’m sorry, babe. Sometimes I have a horrible attention span.”

“And sometimes the First Order is attacking the base. I get it. Our lives are a little stressful right now.”

Poe readjusted himself on the bunk, lifting his hands over his head. “Well, you know...you could _make sure_ I stay put and focused on you. If you wanted.” Poe bit into his bottom lip.

“Oh?”

“Yeah,” Poe replied, a little breathless. “You could _pin me down._ Or tie me up.” Another lip bite. “Only if you were into it, though.”

“Are _you_ into it?” The answer seemed obvious, but Finn had to be sure. Because yeah, the minute Poe had flung his hands over his head, Finn’s cock had been growing.

“ _Yes._ ”

“Maybe ties next time,” Finn growled, straddling Poe and pressing down on his wrists. He felt Poe’s pulse jump, and Poe let out a breathy little sigh. Finn took Poe’s mouth, finally getting the chance to sink in like he had wanted to.


	51. Beyonce's Halloween Ball - Senators' Sons AU

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This fic had a lot of origins. First off, it's a birthday present for miss @leftwinglibrarian. Happy birthday, lady! Thank you so much for all of your support!
> 
> I asked what she wanted, if I was to write a fic, and the senators' sons came up (You can read more senators' sons in chapters 25 and 36). However, she also really likes Sense8 and especially this scene (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=io106ID9t1o) "The problem is, honey, that you don't have a cock."
> 
> Then I was talking with @beautifullights about how I wanted to write about glitter and sex in public bathrooms and voila, the fic was born.
> 
> E, obviously. Gratuitous glitter. Gratuitous Beyonce cameo.

Scoring tickets to Jay-Z and Beyonce’s Halloween masquerade party had been easy; they were big supporters of his dad, after all. Arriving and getting lost in the crowd had been easier. The paparazzi along the orange carpet had snapped his photo in his tailored suit and domino mask, asking for better angles as Poe walked the carpet solo. He could’ve brought a date, he supposed, but since he intended to spend the night playing with - and being played with by - one particular man, it seemed cruel.

“Gorgeous,” he murmured as he pecked Bey on the cheek, once he’d made it past the cameras. He pulled Jay-Z into a double-tapped bro hug.

“You’re looking a little mundane yourself,” she replied with a wink. “Alli can take you to your stuff.”

“You’re a queen, a goddess, et cetera, et cetera,” he said back, smiling.

“Hey, I know about not being able to be your true self in front of the cameras,” Bey murmured, before giving him a kiss.

“Someday,” Poe replied as Alli led him away. 

Dressing how he wanted to dress at a party full of celebrities that wanted to have fun  _ privately _ was still on the list of actions that would have made him a “bad gay” in the eyes of his father’s campaign. Poe, however, was  _ not _ adverse to a little subterfuge. Not at all.

He kicked the suit off, rolling it up and tucking it away to escape in later. His real outfit was slightly more revealing.  _ Slightly _ , he thought as he snorted. He shimmied into the almost-sheer white lace boy shorts panties, tucking everything away neatly, for now anyway. He shrugged into the white angel wings and donned the halo. The finishing touch was body glitter, white and sparkling, everywhere he could reach. He wanted to  _ glow _ , dammit. He deserved to glow.

He admired himself in the mirror, smoothing his hands over his glitter-covered stomach and appreciating himself. Finn was going to lose his goddamned mind, that was for sure. Even more so when he caught sight of the definitely-not-angelic butt plug currently holding Poe wide open and ready for him.

Poe slipped into the white heels that would bring him on par with Finn’s height. All the better to be pressed into a wall and fucked senseless, Poe mused. He sauntered and swayed out to the main party. The Carters had rented out a warehouse for the occasion, and dressed it up, building temporary walls that created a sense of intimacy even as the bass boomed throughout. Poe shot off a text to Finn, telling him to find him on the dance floor, grabbed a shot from a passing tray, downed it, and headed out.

He found some girls who wanted to dance just as much as he did, and was in the middle of losing himself to the music when he felt strong hands on his hips, guiding him back against a solid body. 

“You’re gorgeous, angel.” Finn’s voice was low in his ear, his breath shivering across Poe’s neck. 

Poe ground his hips back, and the motion moved the plug against his rim. He moaned, covering Finn’s hand on his hips and bringing them around him. Finn continued to sway with him, rubbing over his cock as the lights dazzled and flashed around them. Poe realized he was  _ this close _ to coming, and turned in Finn’s arms, where he’d have a little less stimulation on his rim. 

“Well, hello, handsome.” Poe grinned as he took in the sight of Finn, dressed as… “Wait, what are you?” 

Finn shrugged, more carefree than Poe had seem him...ever. “Nothing in particular, I don’t think. Just wanted to look good.”

“You look good. You look fucking amazing. Did you walk in like this?” Finn wore tight white pants and from the lack of lines Poe was pretty sure he was going commando. On top, all he had on was a little teal vest, and a smattering of Poe’s body glitter. Poe ran a hand possessively over Finn’s abs. “I have a new mission tonight.”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah. To transfer as much of my glitter to you as possible.”

Finn’s hand sunk into Poe’s ass cheek as he pulled them closer together, their clothed cocks grazing each other. “I like your mission.” He leaned in, talking into Poe’s ear over the pump of the music. “Those heels are blowing my mind right now. Wanna feel ‘em dig into me as I fuck you into the wall.” Finn captured his mouth as they ground together. 

"That was the idea," Poe said with a grin before retaking Finn's mouth. After a few minutes, Poe broke off, panting, hitting the edge of orgasm but not letting himself get there yet. “Need something to drink. Want something?” 

Finn’s hand played through Poe’s curls. “I want to watch you walk away in those heels and shorts.”

Poe smirked. “That, I can do.” He turned, sauntering for a few feet before looking over his shoulder and blowing Finn a kiss while shaking his ass and wings. 

He didn’t have to wander far to find a server with more of the delicious shots, and grabbed two. Still, though he’d been gone for less than five minutes, some basic bitch had already crept in on his territory. Finn, sweetie that he was, was trying to be very nice as he held one of the dancing girls at arm’s length. The girl was obviously trying every weapon in her repertoire. Poe tossed back one of the shots and set the other down, then runway-stomped to the couple in time to hear the woman whine, “But why don’t you want me? What’s the problem?”

Poe edged her out, stepping in front of Finn and wrapping Finn’s arms around his waist. “The problem is, honey, that you don’t have _a cock_.” Poe gave her his haughtiest you-don’t-belong-here look, honed over years at the country club, and she huffed away.

Finn looked sheepish. “I want to say, ‘play nice,’ but also I’m not sure I’ve ever been more turned on.” Finn’s chin rested perfectly on his neck as he pulled Poe back into his arms. “You’re magnificent. I wish we could always have this.”

“Someday,” Poe responded, echoing himself. He wrapped a hand around Finn’s neck and pulled him closer, grinding his ass on Finn’s dick. “But for now, let’s just take what we have.” He let out a loud moan that got lost in the noise of the music, but knew Finn caught it by the way his hand squeezed into Poe’s bared thigh before moving to Poe’s laced-covered cock..

“Want to take this somewhere more private?”

“Fuck yes.”

Poe led Finn back toward the room Alli had let him change in, but found it was locked. He glanced at Finn, then led him off again. He’d spotted this out of the way bathroom as he’d walked in. He pushed the door open, and the place was empty. He turned, then frowned, looking at the door. “There’s no lock.”

Finn was licking his lips as he looked Poe up and down. “I don’t care if you don’t.”

“I- really? You sure?”

Finn pulled Poe to him and latched on to his neck. When he surfaced, his lips were covered in glitter and his eyes were hot. “I’m in a ‘fuck the world’ state of mind right now. Or maybe fuck the hot little angel I have in my arms.”

Poe turned in his arms and cupped his face. “The thought of someone walking in on us at any time is truly, incredibly hot. I just need you to be sure.”

“I’m sure. But there’s a way to make sure no one walks in on us.” Finn slipped the straps for Poe’s wings off of his shoulders, setting them aside, then walked Poe backwards until his back was pressed against the door. Hastily, he unzipped his fly and let his cock spring free. Poe hummed appreciatively, stroking Finn’s cock as Finn hooked his thumbs on Poe’s panties and began to pull them down slowly. 

“What do we have here?” Finn asked with a grin as he discovered Poe’s plug and ran his thumb around Poe’s stretched rim. He popped the plug out and pressed his thumb in, keeping Poe stretched wide as he tossed the plug in the sink for safekeeping. He captured Poe’s mouth fiercely, then pulled back. “Ready?”

Poe steadied himself on Finn’s chest, brushing aside the tiny vest. “Still safe?”

Finn nodded. “Tested last Tuesday, but, I, uh, haven’t had sex with anyone but you since the test before that anyway. You?”

“Same and same.” Poe pulled him back for another kiss. “Wait, does this mean we have more fidelity than our dads?”

Finn wrinkled his nose. “Don’t make me think about that when I’m about to fuck you.”

“Apologies. Please commence,” Poe replied, tongue-in-cheek.

Finn snorted and brushed his thumb over Poe’s prostate. “Shut up,” he said before taking Poe’s lips again.

“Shutting - oh, fuck - okay, shutting up.” Poe sighed as Finn boosted him up against the door and slid inside. He wrapped his legs around Finn’s waist, feeling Finn bounce deeper.

Finn grunted as he pushed inside steadily, pounding into Poe, pressing Poe against the hard wooden door. Poe cried out, scratching his nails down Finn’s back in ecstasy.

The way he’d been edging all night, Poe wasn’t going to last long, and he knew it. Already he was screaming as Finn nailed his prostate with every thrust. He leaned forward latching on to Finn’s neck with his teeth, muffling his shouts on Finn’s skin.

“Finn-nn-nn-nn-nn,” Poe cried, the name bouncing out of his mouth as Finn shook him to his core. When Finn dug his fingers into Poe’s ass, splaying him wider and making him feel Finn even deeper, like he was splitting Poe in half, Poe couldn’t hold back any longer. His cock grazed Finn’s abs and he exploded, painting their stomachs with cum.

Finn grunted, and Poe felt him shoot off inside him, filling him with warmth. Poe sighed happily at the full feeling, resting his forehead against Finn’s before meeting his lips for a sweet kiss. Finn met his lips again and again, like he couldn’t get enough, like he didn’t want to surrender Poe to the outside world again. Slowly, he let Poe’s legs drop down and slipped out. Before Poe lost too much to gravity, Finn quickly rinsed the plug and eased it back inside Poe’s hole. Poe exhaled, still leaning against the door, as he felt his rim slowly contract around the plug, holding Finn’s cum tight in him. He’d be able to feel it inside him the rest of the night, long after Finn himself had left him.

They helped each other clean up as best they could, giggling throughout the task. "Mission fucking accomplished," Poe snorted, taking in the the bright glitter all over Finn's chocolate skin. When they were mostly presentable, Poe held the door open for Finn and led him back out into the all-consuming dance beat. 

He found them a dark corner, where he could perch on Finn’s lap and people watch. As a server went by, Poe grabbed two more shots and handed one to Finn. “To Queen Bey, for providing us this oh-so-excellent opportunity.”

“To Beyonce,” Finn echoed. They threw back the shots together. “What a woman,” Finn said appreciatively, a goofy grin on his face.

“She’s so nice, too,” Poe said as he lay his head back down on Finn’s shoulder.

“Seems like it, yeah.”

“Wait, have you not met her?”

“Wait, you  _ have _ ?”


	52. What are you gonna do about it?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> NSFW. Dom/sub. Spanking. Punishment. Safe signals established - established kink all the way, enthusiastic consent, etc.
> 
> Prompted by stardusteddameron

Poe’s voice was defiant but his gaze was lowered. “And what are you gonna do about it… sir?” At the last second, he flicked his eyes back up, looking at Finn under those impossibly thick lashes, a small smirk on his face.

  
Finn’s blood ran hot as he took in the challenge in Poe’s stance, in his voice, but he remained silent. Let Poe think he had his head for the moment. Two could play at this game.

  
Poe took a step forward, and Finn refused to yield, so Poe’s body pressed into his. “Gonna punish me for my insubordinance, major?” Poe’s sassy mouth was a hair’s breadth from his, his eyes boring holes into Finn’s now, his breath coming a little quicker. He reached a hand up to touch Finn’s face, and that was the straw that broke the bantha’s back. Finn grabbed his wrist, not squeezing hard enough for bruises - not yet - but infusing the move with all of his authority. Poe’s eyes widened slightly, then settled back into pleasure quickly.

  
“I’m beginning to think you broke the rules just so you’d get punished, Poe.”

  
“Have you met me? I’ve always been more of a ‘rules are made to be broken’ kinda guy.”

  
Oh yes, Poe was in a mood tonight for sure. A mood that was pushing all of Finn’s buttons. His pants grew tight as he continued to glare at Poe. “Not my rules.” He took Poe’s other wrist, and walked the man back to the bed. Efficiently he stripped Poe and pushed him down, face first, into the sheets. Straddling him from behind, he tied Poe’s wrists to the headboard, then moved down, taking one of the silk toes and wrapping it around Poe’s mouth. Before he tied it, he whispered in Poe’s ear, “Give me a color, baby.”

  
“Green,” Poe murmured back, voice still defiant. Finn growled and pulled the tie tight roughly.

  
“Now maybe you think,” Finn started, voice soft and deadly, “that because you confessed, you’re going to get off easy. But that’s the thing, Poe. I don’t think you’re going to be getting off at all.” Finn ran a hand over Poe’s ass lovingly, then pulled back for a quick slap. He admired how Poe’s bronze skin deepened, reddened, as Poe made nary a sound. “I think you knew exactly what you were doing when you oh-so-coyly admitted you touched yourself while I was away.” Another slap, harder, but Poe didn’t break. “Was I not explicit enough when I told you I own your orgasms? They belong to me, Poe, and only I can give them out.” Slap, the sound reverberating through the room, and this time, Poe flinched and made a soft noise into his gag. Finn kept a careful watch on Poe’s tied hands, but no signal came. After all, they were just getting started. He gave three more slaps, switching sides randomly to keep Poe guessing. After the third, Poe moaned, rolling his hips.

  
“Was it good? Was it as good as me? As good as this?”

  
With a whimper, Poe shook his head, then moaned again as Finn’s hand came down hard. A tear ran down his cheek, but still no signal came. Finn frowned, worried now that there was more to this than just a little roleplayed defiance. Whatever was on Poe’s mind, he wasn’t ready yet to divulge.

  
“Correct.” Finn rained more blows down on Poe’s ass, until it was a beautiful deep red. He reached between Poe’s legs, tugging on Poe’s stiff cock. Reaching up, he untied one of Poe’s hands and flipped him over, and Poe moaned again when his stinging ass touched the sheets. He was crying freely now, but it was just little drops, every now and then, running down his cheeks.

  
Still worried, Finn changed tactics. Whatever was bothering Poe, Poe had felt like he needed punishment, but getting it had obviously touched a nerve. It hadn’t been the key to helping Poe access what he really needed, but maybe something different would.

  
Finn reached for the lube and began to work Poe open slowly, torturing him, his cock weeping pre-cum. “Remember, Poe, you come last.” Poe nodded frantically as his hips pumped up to fuck Finn’s fingers. Finn reached up, pulling the gag down so Poe could speak. “Do you want to come?”  
Poe shook his head. “Not ‘til you do, sir,” he managed, panting.

  
“Good boy.” Poe whined at his praise. Finn slicked himself up with the lube, then positioned himself between Poe’s thighs. Sliding inside Poe was like being welcomed back home with loving arms.  
When he was fully seated, he stayed still, and cupped Poe’s face until Poe’s hazy eyes were on his. “Who owns your orgasm?”

  
“You do,” Poe replied, breathy.

  
“Why were you punished?”

  
“Be-because I broke the rule.” Poe bit his lip, and Finn could tell the stillness was driving him crazy.

  
“And why did you break the rule?”

  
“So I could get punished,” Poe mumbled.

  
Finn rewarded him with a thrust inside, long and slow. Poe’s lashes fluttered, but he kept his gaze on Finn. “And why did you want to get punished?”

  
“Because I didn’t save them. I wasn’t good enough and I couldn’t save them,” Poe sobbed out, finally breaking eye contact with Finn to glance away.

  
“Save who, baby?” Finn murmured as he thrust in again.

  
“The pilots. The ones who haven’t made it back.”

  
Finn turned Poe’s face back toward his and kissed him with all the sweetness and tenderness he could muster, even as he continued to thrust. “Poe,” he said when he broke off, and Poe’s eyes stayed on his. “You can’t control that. You did everything you could. You’re a brilliant pilot, and you survived, and that’s okay. It’s okay. Okay?”

  
Poe nodded, and Finn kissed him again, pumping faster, working toward peak. He was still worried about Poe, but at least he knew what the problem was now, and they could work on it together. “I love you,” Finn whispered in Poe’s ear as he came inside him, then murmured, “Come for me, baby. Come for me.”

  
At the command, Finn reached down to stroke Poe until Poe spurted over his hand and onto his own stomach. Poe shuddered, his eyes tipping closed.  
Finn withdrew, letting Poe drift as he untied his other hand, then got a towel to clean Poe up. Gently, he nudged Poe over onto his stomach, and placed a cool towel over his still-red ass. He got a pillow to prop their heads up, then curled into Poe’s side, massaging the parts of his back that hadn’t received a spanking.

“Can I get you anything, honey?”

  
Poe shook his head. “I’m sorry.”

  
Finn kissed Poe’s bare shoulder. “Please don’t be. But also, know that…if you’re feeling that way, like you need to get punished because you deserve it, I think we should talk about it first. Okay? I don’t want you confusing our fun with actual hurt, baby.”

  
“I know,” Poe mumbled into the pillow. “I love you.”

  
“I love you back.”


	53. Sharing coats - football au

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Philomath X suggested I be inspired by this tumblr post: http://animalasaysrauer.tumblr.com/post/153993110346/uniwolfwerecorn-kimmichoursaviour
> 
> And I thought, sure, why not?

Finn is _pissed_ as he thumps down onto the bench. Pissed at himself for missing the catch, pissed at the other team for their interference, pissed at Coach for taking him out. Mostly the first one though. He squeezes his hands together, tries not to think about the myriad of cameras pointing at him, or the scholarship riding on his performance on the field. People are expecting big things from him: his team, who’s seeing their chance at the Rose Bowl slip away; his family, who has only ever been proud of him, so much that sometimes the pride feels suffocating; the NFL scouts, who think he’s promising, at least ESPN has said so, but they’re fickle, everyone knows that; the black and LGBTQ communities, both of which he is a proud representative, but also feels immense pressure to be… _good_. Be good for the kids on twitter who call him a hero, and the ones who have told him that they came out to their teams because of him, and-and-and-

All this flies through Finn’s head in a matter of seconds, spiraling around, and he’s not sure he’s going to be able to find his way out of it, but he has to, because his team is counting on him, and the kids from twitter, and his mom’s face- oh God.

Suddenly there’s a parka being placed around his shoulders, and it breaks him from the disastrous thought spiral. “It’s cold out here,” someone says in a loud voice. Finn starts as he realizes it’s Poe, Poe Dameron, one of the team medics. Poe leans next to his ear and whispers, “Pretend you have a cramp I need to check out.” Finn knows he must look confused, because Poe smiles and winks. “Pretend harder.”

Finn schools his face into an expression of pain, then points to his left calf. “Charlie horse,” he manages, still light of breath from the anxiety.

“Better,” Poe mumbles as he drops to his knees and begins massaging his calf lightly - not like he actually has a cramp. “I want you to breathe with me. In for four, out for four, got it?”

Slowly, but surely, Poe manages to calm him down through the routine they always run through for a cramp. Finn pretends to hobble a little, then lets his walk straighten, as Poe walks with him, and counts on his fingers for Finn and no one else to see. In for four, out for four.

On the field, defense has managed to hold back the other team’s offense, causing a fourth down turnover. Coach looks behind him, searching for Finn, and Poe nods. “You got this. You’re gonna do this.” Pitching his voice over the screams of the crowd, he continues, “Coach, Finn’s cleared to play.”

Coach beckons him over, and damn, if that’s not the best feeling. Of course Coach hadn’t been benching him permanently. He could do this. He shrugs off the parka, handing it back to Poe.

“Pity,” Poe says with a wink. “It suits you.”

Before his brain can analyze that - oh, but does he make a note to analyze the possibilities of that statement and that wink and that smiling face later? Yes, yes he does - Poe’s turned away, and Coach is explaining the next play to him.

When the ball lands easily in his hands, and he’s free, home free, all the way to the end zone, no way anyone’s going to catch him now, though, he’s got one face on his mind, and it’s not the kids, or his mom, or Coach or the scouts. Nope.


	54. Coming Out

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> An anonymous ask on tumblr asked for fluffy/angsty trans!poe.

When Poe sat him down, then sat across from him, serious-faced, Finn’s heart leapt into his throat. He searched his mind, automatically, for anything he’d done wrong - an unconscious reaction from his abusive childhood. His heart began pounding, and a nervous, chilly sweat broke out all over his skin. He ran sweaty palms down his jeans, and the movement seemed to bring Poe out of his own nerves. Poe’s hand hands stopped Finn’s and rubbed them. “You didn’t do anything wrong.”

Finn took a deep breath. “O-okay. You’re not- you’re not breaking up with me?”

Poe’s eyes slid away. “I’m not. But…you might break up with me after this.” He chewed on his lip.

“Tell me, Poe,” Finn said gently, bracing himself.

Poe was worrying his lip enough that Finn worried he’d cut through the delicate skin. He squeezed Poe’s hands back to distract him, and it worked. Poe looked back at him, a determined look on his face. “I think I might be- I feel like- I think-” Poe paused, closing his eyes, then reopened them. “I think I was meant to be a woman.” His eyes cut away again, his cheeks flaming.

“Okay.”

Poe’s eyes flew back to his. “Yeah?”

“Yeah.” Finn tugged a little on Poe’s hands, and Poe came willingly to his lap. Finn ran a hand up Poe’s back, then angled his head toward Finn’s for a light kiss. “Tell me more about what you’ve been thinking.”

“You think you’ll still want to be with me if I…if I start wearing femme clothes and …” Poe’s voice got small, “…and maybe go on hormones? And change my name?”

“Is that what you’ve been thinking about?”

“Maybe.” Poe suddenly seemed very interested in playing with the button on Finn’s shirt.

“Honey,” Finn started, tipping Poe’s chin toward his. “You’re still going to be the person that rescued me from the horrible situation I was in.”

“You rescued yourself. And me,” Poe mumbled against his chest, though his lips were tipping up a bit.

“You’re still going to be the person that showed me what real love looks like.”

“Finn.”

“You’re still going to be the person that I love, with my entire soul.”

Poe took in a deep breath, then lost it on a sob, leaning into Finn’s shoulder. “…I’ve been so scared.”

Finn’s arms swept around him, rubbing a hand over his back. “I’m so sorry,” he murmured, then let Poe cry it out.

When Poe sniffled and pushed the heels of his hands into his eyes, forcing the tears out, Finn hugged him closer. “Do you want to switch pronouns now?”

“Maybe. Yeah. I think. I’d like to try anyway.”

“Sounds good, baby.”

“And I’d like to maybe…go shopping?”

“That sounds fun…can I come?” Finn grinned at him, waggling his eyebrows, and Poe laughed.

“Yeah, yeah I’d like that.”

Finn cupped Poe’s cheek, sweeping tears and hair away from her face. “I’m so proud of you for telling me. You’re so brave.”

“I couldn’t be this brave without you. You being brave makes me brave.” Poe rested her forehead against Finn’s. “I love you so much.”

“I love you right back.”


	55. "we're both in a ski lodge realizing we don't like skiing"

_Freaking shit fucking shitty fuck fuck no I did NOT want him to see me like this-_

“Hey, buddy, what happened?”

The sincere concern in the man’s voice did nothing to stop Finn’s inner litany. “Skiing accident yesterday,” he mumbled, face going hot with embarrassment. The man was the hottest thing Finn had seen in a long while. They’d spied each other when their respective groups of friends were checking into the lodge two days ago. He eased himself down on one foot, sinking from his crutches into the soft leather couch. After several hours at Urgent Care, they’d determined nothing was broken, except Finn’s dignity, and his wallet, spending all this money on a ski trip he now didn’t get to enjoy. He looked away from the handsome man dressed in snow gear. “I’m fine. Down for the count, but fine.”

The man chewed on his lip and nodded. “Right. Well-”

“Yeah,” Finn grumbled. “Later.” He refused to look up. He knew he was being rude. He knew it was irrational. But he was still kind of pissed at Rey and Slip for actually listening to him when he’d waved them off with “No, go ahead, I’ll be fine, I’ve got my phone, I’ve got my Kindle. Let’s not let this ruin the vacation for _everyone_.” Didn’t they know they weren’t supposed to go along with it, dammit? He angrily thumbed through Facebook, mood darkening.

Several minutes later, however, two cups of something - it looked like hot cocoa - was set at the table to his side, along with a stack of board games. Finn’s eyes went wide as he looked up to see the man, the handsome - scratch that, he was downright _sexy_ when he grinned like he was at Finn right now - man.

“Can I confess something?” the man asked, and Finn nodded. Poe sat on the couch beside him, making a big show of looking to and fro, then leaning in to whisper, “I don’t actually like skiing. This is just the Dameron family tradition. When my mom and dad got older, I thought maybe we’d stop, that we’d get out of it, but then my _sister_ -” The man said the word as if he’d been utterly betrayed. “- had to go and have _kids_ and now it’s all ‘no, Poe, we need to uphold the tradition for future generations,’ yadda yadda yadda.” The man - Poe, presumably - flashed that spectacular grin at him again, and Finn couldn’t help but be charmed.

He extended his hand. “Finn Boyega.”

The man took it and shook it firmly. “Poe Dameron. Now, it’s fine if you want nothing to do with me. But-” Poe held up a finger. “I have board games, for two, which aren’t always the easiest ones to find. I have hot chocolate, and two good legs, to keep us supplied in said hot chocolate. And-” He sidled in conspiratorially again, lowering his voice and opening his jacket to reveal a bottle inside. “I have Bailey’s.” He ended with a wink. “So, Finn Boyega,” and here Poe took his hand again, looking straight in his eyes. “Would you be my … excuse to not have to go out into that white hellscape again?”

Finn laughed, a full laugh, almost bubbling out of him, and Poe’s eyes warmed at the sound of it. “Yes, Poe Dameron, I will.”


	56. Poe's Shopping Trip

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> More of trans!Poe from chapter 54.

In the end, Poe - she was still going by that for now - decided that it would be best to go shopping with Rey and Jess. Finn wasn’t offended in the slightest, but worried about her all through the trip anyway as he stayed home and puttered around the apartment, religiously checking his phone for texts every few minutes.  She’d texted one frowny face, then nothing else; when Finn had frantically checked with Rey, Rey told him that style was a matter of trial and error, and the errors were disheartening for Poe.

So, when he heard Poe at the front door, he braced himself to be super enthusiastic about whatever Poe had ended up with, no matter what.

“Hey,” Finn called out. “In the kitchen.” He wiped his hands on a towel and slung it over his shoulder, turning away from the sink of dirty dishes and soapy water.

Poe was wearing what she’d gone out in: jeans and a t-shirt, a barrette holding back some of her longer curls. “Hey,” she sighed, setting a bag on the chair.

Without talking, Finn just opened his arms, and she stepped into them with a small grateful smile. He rocked them, rubbing over her back, letting her process, seeing if she wanted to talk. She’d spent such a long time bottling everything up; the other night, after confessing, she’d talked for hours. Finn pressed a kiss to her forehead. She had an appointment with a gender therapist soon, and he was grateful; he could only reaffirm his love for her, but Poe’s big questions, the ones about herself and her identity? He was a little lost.

Whenever he felt too lost, though, he just wrapped her in his arms and repeated his love. “I love you no matter what, honey,” he murmured now.

She laughed a little. “I know, Finn, I know. You’re so good at making sure I know.” She leaned over, meeting Finn’s lips for a short kiss, then rubbing her smooth cheek against his. “It was just… a lot. A lot of everything I’ve ever wanted. Everything I’ve denied myself. It’s overwhelming, you know?”

“Did you find anything you liked?”

She smiled a little. “Yeah,” she said shyly.

“Do I get to see?” She bit down on her lip, and Finn captured it too, just because. Because she was so adorable. “Do I get a little fashion show?”

“You sure you want to see me in girl clothes?”

Finn made sure her eyes were on his. “Yes.”

A look of excitement entered her eyes. “Okay.” She nodded determinedly. “Okay.” She bit her lip again, and slipped out of his arms, grabbing the bag on her way out.

Finn watched her walk away - because, damn, walking away was _always_ a good look for Poe - then turned back to his dishes.

“Okay, ready?” she called awhile later.

“No, wait, one sec.” Finn pulled his phone out and tapped through the songs until he found what he was looking for. He heard her laugh from the other room as the first tones of Lady Gaga’s _Bad Romance_ filled the kitchen. “Stomp it, baby.”

She came in, a little shy at first, then, seeing his grin, a bit more confidently. She stepped toward him, barefoot - and Finn noticed with a happy and grateful pang that Rey and Jess must have treated her to a pedicure, as pink toenails flashed up at him - then twirled with a laugh when he twirled his finger. She had a blood-orange top with drapey ruffles, over a grey jersey floor length skirt, and a matching gray cardigan. When she ended her twirl, Finn captured her hands, swinging her into another spin. She laughed. “My shoulders - my shoulders are pretty masculine, and my hips are a little too narrow, so-” She trailed off, shrugging.

“You look amazing, Poe. Absolutely stunning.” He pulled her into a slow dance around the kitchen despite the still pumping beat of Lady Gaga. “How do you feel?”

She took in a deep breath and blew it out, leaning her head down on his shoulder. “Right.”

“That’s my girl.”


	57. Our families have been going on this skiing trip forever and I realized I'm in love with you.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Our families have been coming on this ski trip together since we were kids and I've been in love with you half that time but this year you brought someone and I can't tell if you're together or not!" Winter AU

 

Finn first met Poe when their moms - college roommates - convinced their families to go on a joint ski trip. Two ten year old boys, squeezed into the back of the minivan, it was going to go one of two ways: either they’d get along, or they’d come out enemies. Both moms had looked at each other and sighed in relief when they’d heard the giggles over Finn’s Gameboy drifting over the rock music the dads were blasting from the front seat.

Over the years, Finn and Poe learned quite a few things about each other:

  * Poe had been angling all _year_ to get a Gameboy from his parents, so he was supremely jealous of Finn.
  * Finn _hated_ anything pickled with a passion. Poe loved it. They had a great symbiotic food relationship.
  * Poe was a better skier than Finn. Finn thought it was okay, but really liked the evenings spent drinking hot chocolate and marshmallows and playing card games with their parents.
  * They lived several states apart from each other, which meant that the ski trip was their only chance to see each other, but as soon as they’d been able to, they’d started emailing each other.
  * Finn was the first person Poe ever came out to. Finn still remembered the little black words blinking back at him, the tone scared. _I think I might be gay._ Finn’s fingers shook as he replied - _No matter what, you’re still my friend, Poe._
  * Finn hated it when Poe brought along other friends. The first time was when they were 15, and he brought Jess Pava, who was cool, Finn admitted...very grudgingly. The second time was when they were nineteen, and Poe brought one of his roommates, who had a girlfriend. The last time Poe brought someone along, it was a boy - man, Finn supposed, at their age of 24. Cute, good looking, making Poe laugh the first time Finn met him.



One thing Poe _didn’t_ know about Finn was that Finn had no idea what his sexuality was, except: he was in love with Poe Dameron. And Poe didn’t have a damned clue about it.

The dread that filled Finn when Poe introduced Alejandro as “a friend” with the same secret little smile that they’d shared their first wine cooler over made Finn a little sick to his stomach. Friends. Yeah.

Poe gave him a big hug, of course. They’d switched from email to texting over the years, but they still kept up outside the ski trips. Poe was a commercial airline pilot with Delta, and Finn was completing his first year as an RN. He lived for the selfies Poe sent him from exotic locales, though he rarely sent selfies back, embarrassed as he was to admit that he was just sort of surviving, keeping his head above water with his job.

With Alejandro, Finn felt like a third wheel in a way he’d never felt before. He tried to tamp down his jealousy, tell himself it was childish, but he seethed when he saw Alejandro’s arm slip around Poe’s waist as if it belonged there.

After two nights, tossing and turning, Finn decided he’d get more of a vacation if he just headed back to his apartment and spent the rest of the week by himself.

He was just finishing packing his bags when there was a knocking on his door. Opening it revealed Poe, of course, because of course he wasn’t going to make a smooth getaway. “Hey,” he said resignedly.

“The moms said you’re leaving already?” Poe frowned in concern, taking in Finn’s packed bags as he leaned against the door jam.

“Shift. Someone fell through, I need to cover.”

“Bullshit.”

Finn looked up at Poe, who’d crossed his arms over his chest. Poe arched a single brow, even as Finn crossed his own arms. “You can’t possibly- how dare you-”

“Dude, your tell is looking at your shoes when you lie. You’re so fucking obvious. What’s wrong?”

The way Poe’s voice went soft, Finn had to rub at his temple. He collapsed onto his bed. “You are, okay?”

“What?”

“You and Alejandro, just gallivanting around the place-”

Twin red flags graced Poe’s cheeks. “You’ve always supported- You’ve always said- I thought you were okay with-”

Finn winced, shooting back up to his feet and grabbing Poe gently by the shoulders. “No. No, not what I meant. I am totally okay with you being gay. Alejandro, on the other hand…”

When Finn didn’t continue, Poe chewed his lip. “You’re not making a lot of sense, Finn. Did Alejandro do something?”

“No. Backtrack, Finn. I am _totally_ okay with you being gay.” When Poe continued to stare back at him, Finn groaned, then leaned in, wrapping Poe in his arms and brushing their mouths together. “Like, really, _really_ okay with it,” he managed when he pulled back, then held he breath as he waited for Poe to process.

Poe pulled him back for another kiss then broke off with a smile. “You’re fucking kidding me.”

Finn felt sheepish. “No.  I think- no- I know, I’m completely in love with you, Poe.”

Poe cupped his cheek, rubbing there tenderly with his thumb. “God, Finn, why’d you keep it bottled it for so long?”

Finn shrugged, resting his forehead against Poe’s. “I don’t...I still don’t know what I am. Bi? Pan? Gay? Ace? Demi? You were always so _sure_ and I- I’m not sure at all. Even at 24. Ridiculous.”

“Not ridiculous,” Poe murmured. “What’s ridiculous is not telling me,” he admonished lightly.

“Yeah,” Finn admitted. “Yeah. I know. You’re probably better off with someone like Alejandro, who probably has this shit figured out.”

“Alejandro who?” Poe smirked, then moved the scant inches to press their lips together. “You were my first crush. When I told you about the boy I really liked in my class, and how I was pretty sure I was gay...that was you.”

“It’s always been you for me, Poe. Always.”

Poe wrapped an arm around his waist, pulling him closer still. He looked down at Finn’s luggage. “Stay. Stay and let’s figure out what this is now. Let’s not put it off anymore. Let’s not waste any more time.”

Finn took a deep breath in and out, then nodded. “I’ll stay.”

Poe smiled, and Finn sighed, externally instead of internally like every other time he’d seen those eye crinkles. “Good,” he whispered, pulling Finn back for another kiss.


	58. I bought you something expensive and sentimental for secret santa

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Loved that “i got you for secret santa so i got you this really expensive but sentimental gift that you’ve always wanted, hoping you’ll never find out it’s from me - and that i’ve been in love with you 1234567 years” from the list you posted earlier…

Poe was speechless, and the party had gotten awkwardly silent. Poe was pretty sure his friends had never seen him speechless before. “Who…?” Poe looked for the tag, but all it said was ‘To: Poe, From: Secret Santa.’ He looked around, but everyone was shaking their heads.

“What is it, Poe?” Jess nudged her knee into his, looking politely curious.

Poe handed her the ancient copy of Alice in Wonderland. She frowned at the tattered book, then opened it up. “Mi querido hijo, que tus aventuras sean tan grandiosas como las de Alice,” she read clunkily. “My son…” she began to translate, stumbling over most of the words.

“Dearest,” Poe interjected, reciting from heart. “Dearest son. May your adventures be as grand as Alice’s.”

“Is that- is that your mom’s-” Jess stopped when Poe took the book back from her.

“Yeah. Um. I’ll be right back, guys.” He stuffed the book in his cardigan pocket and stepped outside the coffee shop he owned. He took a deep breath, in and out, feeling tears on his cheeks. Who. Who?

He had an inkling.

His feet were taking him down the street, in the snow, before he could think to go inside and get something warmer. It wasn’t that far of a walk, after all. That’s why the artist stopped in the coffee shop almost daily on his way to work.

The tattoo shop was open, of course; this late at night it was one of the only places open in the neighborhood. Poe pulled the door open hastily, a little bell dinging over the door. The artist emerged from the back, the customer service look on his face leaving in place of a friendly smile, which then turned to a frown of concern. “Poe, why the hell are you wearing that? It’s freezing out there!” Finn crossed to the front of the shop, where Poe still stood, trying to formulate his words, and began to briskly rub Poe’s arms.

When Finn took one of his cold hands in between his and began to warm it, Poe finally managed to pull the book out of his pocket and hold it up. Finn’s eyes slid to it, then away again. “What’s that?”

“The book.”

“Book?” Finn said innocently. Too innocently.

“You know which book. We talked about it long enough when you gave me my tattoo.” Poe touched his bicep, where the beautiful Alice and White Rabbit, long healed, sat.

“You found the book. That’s… awesome, Poe.”

“ _You_ found the book.”

“I don’t-” Finn dropped his hand, leaning back against a glass display case instead, crossing his arms over his chest.

“Why are you denying it?”

“Because-”

Poe cut him off with a kiss, leaning into his crossed arms, just a quick, electric brush of lips. “Sorry, I interrupted,” Poe said with a twist of his lips. “Because?”

Finn snorted. “Because I wasn’t sure what reaction I’d get. It’s not like I go out and buy presents for every client that tells me a story.” He dropped his arms, settling a hand tentatively on Poe’s hip, so Poe could lean in closer.

“Just your cute ones?”

“Are you fishing for compliments?” Finn grinned at him.

“Always.”

Chuckling, Finn tipped his chin up and captured his mouth for a longer kiss. “So it’s not- you don’t think I’m creepy?”

“No…I just don’t know how I’m going to repay you, like, ever. I can’t believe you found it.”

“What if I like the idea of you being in my debt?” Finn murmured in his ear before pressing his lips underneath it.

Poe’s heart skipped up to double time. “Well, then…”

Finn laughed again, pulling away a little. “But really- you deserve it. You know what you mean to this neighborhood? The canned food drives and the “buy a cup for someone” wall and the blanket, coat, and scarf box you have… You give a lot, and you deserve to get something back.”

Touched, Poe went speechless again.

“And, I’ll admit, a secret part of me was hoping you’d figure it out and accept it like some old-timey courtship present.”

Poe grinned at that. “I had no idea you were such a romantic,” he replied, his fingers tracing over the intricate black lines of Finn’s sleeve, admiring the handiwork and the firm muscles beneath the skin. “I like it.”

“The coffee shop owner and the tattoo artist? I like it, too.”

**Author's Note:**

> Prompts are closed for now, as I'm both teaching, and taking a grad school class. Look for this space for when they open again, or my tumblr, @animalasaysrauer. :)


End file.
